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Monday, 15 September, 2008 18:51 GMT
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Former KoRn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch speaks openly to West Valley View reporter Michael Clawson in a recent interview where he says he regrets the things he said when he first left the band.

If the early '90s belonged to Nirvana, then the late '90s belonged to KoRn. So when a member of KoRn departs, he's not just leaving the band, but also an entire legacy of music.

Guitarist Brian "Head" Welch looked at it differently, though, when he left the popular group in 2005. He wasn't leaving the genre, the movement or even the subculture that KoRn had crafted. He was leaving the lifestyle that came with it: mainly an addiction to crystal meth, an abusive relationship with his then wife and a general belief that this world and his life held no meaning or purpose.

In a nutshell, Welch had a spiritual awakening. He cleaned up, left KoRn, found God, became a better father to his daughter and began expressing his new-found faith in interviews, TV specials and books he was writing.

Today, two years after his departure from KoRn, he still looks very much like the same person - he has more tattoos, including "JESUS" on his knuckles - but he says he's much happier living his new life. Welch's first solo CD, "Save Me From Myself," drops today in stores and KoRn fans will be surprised: it’s just as heavy as Korn even if the lyrics aren’t nearly as dark.

Welch, now a Phoenix resident, spoke with Volume at his day job at Driven Music Group, the label that's releasing "Save Me From Myself," which has a little storefront in a business park near Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport.

How did you find the Valley as a home?
"I was in California and I quit KoRn and everything and I felt like I just needed a change. I just wanted to go somewhere. I thought for a while I was going to move to Los Angeles [from Bakersfield], but I had a friend who had a studio out here so I came out. I've been out here since the summer of '05. I was in Bakersfi eld before, so I moved from hot to hotter."

I think I was a little nutty right after I quit KoRn. The things I said and wrote really weren't that great. I'm sorry for some of the things I said when I first cleaned up, but I'm just trying to move forward now. Did you ever see yourself living here when you played here with KoRn?
"Oh, hell no! I was like, 'Let's get out of here, it's hot.' The band would get all pumped up before coming here because some of the guys knew people here and we would always party with them… and party way too hard. So when I'd come to Phoenix I knew I would get totally wrecked, you know, go completely wild.

"We wrote the album 'Untouchables' here in a house out on Shea Boulevard, and that house was home to some of the most intense partying I've ever seen KoRn go through. So the last thing I ever thought would happen is that I'd have a spiritual awakening and I come to live here. The craziest part is that when I moved here I moved just a couple miles away from that Shea house."

When you do book or CD signings do you get any KoRn hecklers?
"Not so far. I think if they really didn't like me they probably wouldn't waste the time to come to a signing. I think people understand why I left KoRn, though, and that I needed a change in my life. I was a single dad and a drug addict and I needed help. Sometimes I'll get a couple MySpace® comments of people saying I should go back to KoRn, but nothing like, 'I hate you for leaving KoRn.' Not yet."

When you were telling your story in your book and in interviews, were you at any point afraid you were sharing things that were too personal for mass consumption?
"I never thought that. I needed to get it out for me too. I needed to be cleansed. A couple things, like when I beat my wife with a skateboard, were pretty scary to talk and write about, but they were necessary. I needed to pour those things out. They are personal challenges that I went through, but maybe me writing about it will inspire others who are going through it to confront what they're doing and how they're hurting themselves and others. In the end I learned there is forgiveness for the things we do."

The new CD is heavy. That might surprise people since you've become a spiritual person.
"There are different messages than that of KoRn in my music, but sometimes they're similar. [KoRn singer Jonathan Davis] would sing about the hard things he's going through and I sing about the same stuff. The only major difference is that my lyrics end positive, because that's the direction I'm trying to move in."

Do you think people saw you as a real person in KoRn, or just this guy, one of hundreds, who performs in a heavy band? I feel like there are no individuals in that kind of music.
"Maybe I was just lost in the crowd up there, and I do think people see me as more of an individual now. They can see that I'm like them in a way - I have struggles like them. The rock-star lifestyle didn't mean life was perfect for me. I think I was a little nutty right after I quit KoRn. The things I said and wrote really weren’t that great. I was a little whacked for a few months because I had done crystal meth for two years straight. But I felt support from all kinds of people. There's grace there and people are giving me mercy and understanding. I was off my rocker then, but I'm wiser now. I'm a normal person, though, with normal problems. It's just that my money and my fame couldn't get me the help I needed."

Why do you think musicians gravitate toward drugs? Is it because they have the money to purchase them or do they truly believe the drugs fuel the music?
"I think it's a combination of things. It's like you're a kid and you like to play music and you're getting paid to do it. And you're paid to play music like an hour a day and then you have all this other time to be bored. In order to do the whole rock star thing you almost have to get wasted. Living that lifestyle, letting it all hang out, it's not really yourself. You need the stuff to become that different person. Plus there's a crazy power to playing on stage in front of people - it's a natural high - and perhaps we took the drugs so that high would never end even when the shows were over."

Jonathan said I could come back to KoRn anytime. But I can't. I'm doing my thing. I have no regrets. I love my life right now. I've photographed KoRn a number of times in concert and I have pictures of all the members flipping the photographers off except you. I always felt like you were the nice member of KoRn.
"[Laughs] I wish maybe I had now. No, I'm kidding. You know, I always was concentrating on the music. We were chill guys. Maybe the flipping off was just part of the show, you know? If you've ever heard Jonathan talk outside of a show — look up one of his interviews on YouTube — you'll know he's real soft-spoken. We all kind of were."

Is there room for regret in your life at this point?
"Not at all. Everything happened for a reason. I'm sorry for some of the things I said when I first cleaned up, but I'm just trying to move forward now. I left all the money. And there's even a door open even right now: Jonathan said I could come back to KoRn anytime. But I can't. I'm doing my thing. I feel like I've been called here so I'm just going to stay here. But as far as leaving the band and the money, I have no regrets. I love my life right now. I'm so content with where I'm at. I'm struggling more, but struggling brings character. I had it easy for too long."

That was the most intelligent thing written on this page. :3

Thank ye *takes a bow* mrgreen