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 Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:45 pm
Memetuka was still feeling reluctant, but she didn't have a chance to change her mind. Abedari was following along after her and she was leading the way right to Shiri. Meme had left not too long before, she hoped that Shiri would still be alone-- or that the grandcubs might be spared this confusing mess and have it explained properly and however Shiri really saw fit.
And if this all went badly, no one would see, no one would know. But every 'worst case scenario' Memetuka imagined got worse and worse- but made less and less sense. She walked, somewhere between dragging her feet and hurrying along to get it over with.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:33 pm
Abedari followed behind Memetuka, ignoring the view around him and simply looking forward anxiously. The male felt his fur bristle with every step and could hear the deep thumping of his heart growing louder. There were so many questions Abedari wanted to ask Meme about how everything came about, but he found that his voice wouldn't leave his muzzle and that all courage had failed him.
It did not seem to be long before the distinct outline of dens were made visible before them. While they all looked the same, Abedari began to imagine Shiri's den stand out amongst the others.
Shiri lay near the entrance of the den, awaiting the return of her mate and their cubs. She had wanted to join them in their hunt, but found herself aching more often and her stomach growing larger. This time around the lioness knew what to expect during her pregnancy and was happy to see that Kei was more than happy to assist her in her condition.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:41 pm
Meme's steps faltered slightly when she spotted Shiri relaxing in the distance. She truly did not wish to disturb Shiri, but there was no going back now. Her part in the was large and small at the same time. She was merely leading Abedari, which in effect was the whole reason whatever was going to happen would happen.. but once she was there she would have little more to do than a quick introduction and watch.
She inhaled quietly, and picked up the pace a bit.
"Shiri," she called, her voice serious but shaky.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:00 pm
Just as Abedari had noticed the dens in the near distance, Memetuka seemed to quicken her pace. Following after, but still keeping his distance, Abedari took in a deep breath, preparing for whatever it was he was going to say when the two of them got there.
What had Meme said? Had things been better between the two of them, the male might have asked her for some advice.
Abedari knew what he had done was wrong now, but he still believed that it had not all been his actions that led Shiri to where she was that day. How did Meme get Shiri to forgive her? Would Shiri be able to do the same for him?
Swallowing slowly, the shape of a golden female with familiar stripes became visible as they approached. She looked the same, he found, which made the situation all the more difficult. Simply seeing her brought him back to the day in which she was left in his care. The single name 'Shiri' coming from Meme's mouth snapped the male out long enough to lower himself respectfully.
Shiri had been bored waiting for her family to return, to the site of her mother approaching caused the lioness to sit up slowly and smile broadly. "Meme!" She called out fondly, taking a moment to realise that another had followed her. "Who is your friend?" Came out more quickly than Shiri's mind processed the familiar patterns on the male and the same yellow-green eyes that she possessed.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:17 pm
Memetuka intended to get out of the way as soon as she possibly could. The tone of voice with which she was greeted did not help her, it only made her feel worse. It might be like rubbing it in Abedari's face, for one, and most of her "worst case" thoughts didn't end with that fondness remaining in Shiri's voice.
"Shiri," she said hoarsely, "This is Abedari. He-- he's your father."
She was tense, and she edge back and off to the side a bit- not completely out of the way yet.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:35 pm
Shiri had already asked her question, but knew the answer even before Meme had explained to her. "My father...?" The words slipped from the female's mouth without any thought. How could this male be her father? How did he find her?
Memories of her encounter with Angavu replayed within her mind and she looked towards Meme for assistance. It had taken time for Memetuka to gain the courage to speak with her and they had developed a friendship before then. This time things were different. Abedari, her father, was simply coming from nowhere and expecting what?
Shiri's confused expression and look of shock had Abedari imitating Meme's actions and taking a few steps back. "I," He began slowly, trying to think of some possible way to explain his past actions, "I am not sure what your mother has told you, but I can only hope that you may listen to my portion of the story."
In her delicate state, Shiri was no way prepared for what was to come. "Not sure what Meme told me?" Shiri asked, a tone of anger appearing in her voice, "Meme told me the truth! How you were the one to abandon me as a cub and that she never intended for me to be alone! Where were you? Where was my father?" While Shiri had been forgiving with Meme, it seemed she was not so willing to share this with her father.
As a cub, the striped female had always needed someone to blame for her poor upbringing and when she had found Meme, the lioness was quick to apologise and show her guilt for the situation. Unable to then, Abedari seemed the perfect outlet for Shiri's internal conflict.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:47 pm
Seeming unable to live a guilt-free existence, Meme watched with a limp in her throat- nodding when Shiri repeated what she had said. She knew Shiri probably had it figured out, what she didn't know was exactly how Shiri would react. Pregnancy could make you emotional, a bit too dramatic..
In this case, pregnancy wasn't even needed as an excuse.
Shiri's angry response to Abedari's slow start made Memetuka cringe ever so slightly. Shiri was quick to defend her, she never questioned what her mother had done- taken the consideration Meme had had for the life of her daughter by leaving her with her father to mean a good deal more than complete abandonment. She didn't feel she deserved it, she never truly had. Maybe that was a difference between her and Abedari. He was sorry, but his genuine emotions always seemed to get a bit.. muddled in translation and perception.
Now she really stepped out of the way, seemingly standing directly between the two of them- not sure which side she had the best chance on now. She wanted to stand with Shiri, but she did not want to make things worse. For either of them.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:07 pm
Like he had reacted so many times before in the presense of Memetuka, Abedari's body seemed to crumple beneath Shiri's words. His posture became weak and his ears folded back fearfully. Whatever his daughter had to say to him, she had every right. He had no place to assume that Shiri would have done well on her own, especially when she had two parents that had been capable of raising her.
Abedari had lived a selfish life, always thinking of himself. He wanted to enjoy himself and when faced with the choice to take on a heavy responsibility or wish for the best, the male took the easy route.
Shiri watched as her father seemed to fall apart at her harsh words and while she felt almost guilty, she knew that this was her only opportunity to express how she truly felt about the situation. "I grew up weak, constantly on the verge of starving. Had it not been for a few friendly faces along the way, I could have shrivled up and died! H-how can you show your face now after what you've done?"
Having had her first litter of cubs, Shiri's perspective on the matter was entirely changed. While she entirely loved Kei, the father of her cubs had not been around much while they were growing up. Instead of giving up, however, Shiri remained strong, devoting all of her life and time to the four cubs she welcomed into the world. Couldn't she have expected the same from her father?
But she had forgiven Kei and had forgiven Meme, what made this so much different?
"I cannot excuse what I have done, Shiri. I can only tell you the story of a lonely rogue with a broken heart." Abedari swallowed hard before continuing. Even if Shiri never forgave him, he hoped that knowing a bit more about her father could help ease her past troubles.
"When I first ventured into the pridelands, I was lucky to come across Memetuka. She had the ability to stand out of a crowd, even when her pelt fully blended in. Her eyes were sparkling and everything about her simply called to me. I was young, bold and fully confident, so I was quick to set chase. Looking back, I don't know how she fell for my charm. We spent many nights in one another's company and the more I got to know her, the more I realised that she filled the hole in me that my wandering could never satisfy."
As he retold his account of the story, Abedari kept his eyes focused on his daughter, hoping to notice some change in her. "I had fallen hard. I wanted to take her away, start a pride of our own. I needed nothing more in my life than her and I thought she felt the same. It seemed as though things were going smoothly until the night you were born. Meme had become pregnant unknowingly and while I took on the challenge, she couldn't face her family and what we had done. You have to understand, Shiri, that we were so young. We weren't experienced and while we could have done it together, I couldn't do it alone. Meme left you in my responsibility, but I never had a chance to say otherwise. I couldn't care for you when every moment I looked at you I was reminded of a love once lost. It was painful.."
The male's voice quivered and he swallowed many times between words, but still pressed on. Once his story seemed to come to a close, his voice seemed to fade away. What more could he say? Did that even justify what he had done?
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:17 pm
Meme knew about Shiri's situation in the Pridelands, how her cubs' father had been scarce at the start .. she could see connections, but what always stood out was how Shiri did the right thing. She did exactly what Memetuka and Abedari had been unable to do, and that was to keep going- and not just that, she accepted help. She accepted help from her pride, she even accepted help from her old mother..
Shiri was nothing like what they should have expected.
As Abedari told their story from his own perspective, her gaze shifted back and forth between her daughter and former mate at first- and finally settled on the ground between the two of them. Her ears lay flat and she seemed to have moved back another couple steps without remembering actually taking those steps. Her own guilt had not left her until she met Shiri, even though up until she was revealed as Shiri's mother she had thought Abedari had stuck with her. She'd lived in shame, hiding away on the borders of the Pridelands, afraid to abandon her home .. imagining that Abedari would have suffered through the pain, suffered for their daughter.. and in the end it was Shiri who suffered.
Watching this was like going through it all again herself. She couldn't help but transfer Shiri's answer in her mind to herself.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:41 pm
Abedari's story came to a shock to Shiri and while the lioness felt the urge to cut him off many times during his speech, she allowed him to continue until his voice began to falter. Shiri's body shook as her father described his first thoughts of her mother and just how things looked from his own point of view. While this offered some insight on the relationship between her parents and gave her more knowledge of her father, the striped female still did not understand how this explained why he abandoned her.
And then he explained how Shiri resembled so much of her mother and how everyday he looked at her, he saw Meme and felt the strings of her heart ache with pain.
Even with the fierce anger and frustration she felt towards her parents, Shiri felt her ears drop sadly at her father's words. It hadn't been Abedari's fault entirely and Shiri knew that her mother never wished for her to be alone. Both lions had clearly been forced to make a difficult decision at a very tough time in their life. Had they both worked together things would have certainly been different.
Just like Shiri's relationship with Kei.
Had the male not been forced to choose between his former life of independence and the cubs he helped create? They had not planned the litter or discussed what would happen. Kei's choice for much of their life had not been what Shiri wanted, but she knew he was free to make that choice on his own. And Shiri's patience and forgiveness of Kei gave him the opportunity to make the right choice in the end.
Her father was coming to her now and late was better than never, right?
"I should have tried, despite my feelings.. I should have tried for you, Shiri. You deserved that and while I am sorry it has taken me this long to come to this realisation, I can only hope that you'll have a better understanding of just why things happened the way they did. You deserved better than me, Shiri..." Abedari was surprised to find that despite his long story and retelling of his relationship with Meme, he was concerned now with Shiri's well being and not worried about how Meme was fairing during the conversation.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:57 pm
Meme was not watching either of them, she only saw them in her peripheral vision- and it was getting quite fuzzy now as she listened, thought and worried. She realized very quickly that something had changed about Shiri's stance, and a peripheral view was all she needed.. and Abedari had a chance to find his voice and continue his story uninterrupted. He was getting through to her somehow. Shiri was too good, too kind and forgiving. It was unbelievable, maybe even unreasonable.. but it was Shiri.
Though she was still hanging her head and avoiding looking at the other two lions, she was almost smiling. Shiri continued, as always, to surprise her- and make her proud.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:01 pm
Shiri's silence was immedietly taken negatively and when Abedari was straining to drag his story on in the hopes that his daughter might say something - anything, he was saddened to see that she still went without a word. Even her angered voice was easier than a complete silence. Did she even believe him? Did she feel he was unworthy of her attention?
Lowering his head, Abedari could feel his mane drag onto the ground. "I can only thank you for listening..." The darker striped male began, glancing finally towards Memetuka a few feet away from them. She seemed upset and this only encouraged Abedari to find some way to escape. Returning his gaze back to Shiri, the old male smiled faintly, eyes glistening from moisture. "I am so glad to see that you are alive and well. That is all I could hope for."
Returning to his normal posture and indicating that he would be leaving soon, the lion added, "I don't mean to take up any more of your time..."
So many thoughts were running through Shiri's mind and while she listened intently to everything her father had to say, she couldn't help but glance between him and her mother, looking for something to help her. When Abedari suddenly shifted and gave his final farewell, Shiri felt her eyes well with tears and stepped forward boldly. Stomping on the ground as though to make sure she had the male's attention, Shiri whispered, "H-how can you leave me now..?"
Shiri had forgiven Meme and she would need to extend the same opportunity for her father. He had made a mistake, as had her mother and her mate and even herself at times.
She could only hope that this decision would be the right one.
Abedari, taken by surprise, turned back to see his daughter's furious stomp and whispered plea. With appreciation clear on his face, the male approached his daughter and bent down as though to offer a nuzzle to her head. Pausing, Abedari knew that things were rocky and only potentially going to improve. Abedari could only smile.
With teary eyes and a returned smile towards her father, Shiri looked towards both Meme and Abedari and spoke quietly, "Mom.. Dad. We have so much to catch up on."
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:10 pm
When Abedari tried to take his leave, Meme also snapped out of her seeming daze. She was thinking too much, she was listening, she was avoiding stepping in if she didn't have to- but she'd already told him that running away was not the answer, and he couldn't just run off now unless that was exactly what Shiri wanted. She didn't get a chance to step in, though, before Shiri stepped forward and spoke up- even catching Meme off guard.
When Abedari turned back, there were two sets of eyes on him. And this time she didn't look away, she watched as they made up. She would worry later about the implications of welcoming Abedari back into their lives, but for now she was happy that Shiri was happy.
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