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 Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:18 pm
Memetuka had a lot on her mind. She had returned to her own little den, surprised to find that all of the hares who inhabited it with her were out (which was amazing, seeing as there were so many of them!). So much had happened in the last little while. Kei had taken up definite residence in the pride, the cubs had grown so big and now Shiri was even expecting more. But something else was on her mind, or someone else. Abedari was still gone, though the search party he had followed had returned. She felt guilty, as she often did. He didn't know about Shiri, he didn't know who Angavu really was, he had gone off in hopes of making up for everything and he hadn't come back.
It was worrisome.
The old lioness lay down by the entrance to the den, waiting and watching for the return of the hares to keep her company. Over time she had found it was good she had them all around, they helped keep things interesting and distracting.
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:46 pm
The last Abedari had seen of the search party was still unsuccessful. Feeling as though he could cover more ground without the others, the bold male took off during the night in search of the Queen and her daughter.
While Abedari was out searching for the two females, the search party had already set out on their return journey to the pridelands. What would not be discovered until later would be that many important pridal figures would have not returned with the others.
Alone, but determined, Abedari continued through the roguelands, also visiting the borders of prides when they permitted. It was a fruitless quest, but still he pressed on. Days turned to weeks and two months had passed before Abedari began to wonder whether it had been wise to make such a promise to Meme.
Weary and fearful, Abedari almost convinced himself that he would be better to simply run far from the pridelands and never show his face again. Meme would never know whether the old rogue passed on, or broke his promise.
But it was time to stop running. Time to look his broken promises in the face and truly apologise for what he had done.
Still uncertain of what was to come, the male hesitantly made his way back to the pride of his former love.
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:54 pm
Watching and near-dozing in the warm sun, Meme was surprised when the form she soon found approaching her den was not one of the hares- and certainly was not Shiri, or one of the grandcubs. He was too dark and large to be any of them. Immediately she was awake and knew who it was, but as was usual she seemed to freeze in place. Now that it came down to it, she didn't know how to react. But she had to cut him some slack after everything that happened.
So she got to her feet, watching the approaching lion.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:56 am
Abedari did not know where Memetuka's den was, but that was only a minor set back. After two months of searching through the roguelands, a few more hours would certainly not kill him. With a yawn, the male continued along until the site of a golden female caught his eye. In a pride filled with similar shades, it was surprising that the male could find her so easily. There was something unique about her fur color, her amethyst colored eyes.
With a faint smile, the male paused where he was, lowering his head in greeting. They had seen one another only twice, or three times before, but Abedari already knew this approaching conversation was not going to be comfortable. Making his posture become lower to the ground, the male showed that he was willing to be submissive to her.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 12:08 pm
She felt her usual anxiety of being faced with her former mate, but she also felt something different- relief. For all that had happened, for everything she'd done, for everything he'd done- he came back after all. She felt an odd pull in her stomach when she saw him look so defeated, so submissive.
"You're back," she said quietly, not sure where else to begin, "You didn't come back with the search party, wh-what happened?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 12:33 pm
Abedari was glad to hear that Meme was quick to start the conversation. He did not know how to explain to her that even though he was gone for as long as he was, he still had not found the Queen, her daughter, or any clues that may have led the pridelanders to their previous leaders. He was entirely unsuccessful in his quest and he had broken his promise to her. Like so many other promises he had broken when he was younger.
Looking up almost shamefully towards Meme, the old male nodded slowly. He was back. Without news or hope, but he had chosen to return. By the way in which Meme said this, it almost sounded as though she was relieved. Had he made the correct choice to come back to her?
When she explained how the search party returned without him, Abedari wore a look of surprise. "They returned? Have they heard anything of the Queen?" His question clearly showed that he had not found her, but also showed his genuine hope that someone had come across something.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 12:54 pm
Just as Abedari had hope the search party had found something, Meme had held a small hope that perhaps he might have- until she saw him, until he'd been so clear of his failures. But that wasn't what mattered, a larger group had been unsuccessful, they had to accept things as they were eventually.
"No, they returned without any more information, without any more leads on where to go," she said, "But you didn't answer- why didn't you return with them?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 1:22 pm
The hope that Abedari still had for the Queen and her daughter was lost with Meme's response. The larger search party had found nothing. On his own, Abedari was able to move quickly through the roguelands. He was more familiar with the lands than he was with himself. When he had come across nothing, he clung on to the idea that maybe the larger group had been more thorough. Perhaps he missed something or didn't quite know where to look or what to look for?
With his ears lowered, Abedari simply listened to what Meme had to say. And then she asked again. Why hadn't be returned with them? If the male did not know better, he might think Meme was upset he hadn't come back sooner.
"Why I.. Well I." Pausing for a moment, Abedari took a breath and regained his normal posture. He was proud of what he had done, whether unsuccessful or not. "After a few weeks of searching, I separated from the group believing that I could track more ground on my own. I know the roguelands like the back of my hand and many of the search party had never even left the pridelands."
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 1:50 pm
Meme's ears lowered, she wasn't sure what to do, what to say. She felt bad about the whole situation, and she felt bad that Abedari felt so bad about it as well. He cared so much about this because she cared about it, it was sweet. His plan was not unusual, and it wasn't terribly surprising- though she had to wonder why she didn't realize that was the most logical possibility when he didn't return with them.
She only looked at him, speechless.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:23 pm
When Meme's ears lowered, Abedari stopped speaking, unsure as to whether he said something to upset her or not. For one of the first times in his life, he was being entirely honest, even when the truth wasn't quite something pleasant to hear. Abedari wasn't a liar, he just avoided uncomfortable situations and kept certain details to himself when they wouldn't benefit him. He was selfish, but understood at this moment the importance of being honest.
The two remained in silence, each attempting to find the words to ammend the situation.
In their silence Abedari looked over Meme. While time had certainly passed since their original meeting, it had been kind to Meme. Behind her fear and guilt, she possessed the same regal, beauty of a noble Pridelander. It was that pretty charm that had originally attracted rebel rogue to her.
Breathing in, the male stepped forward, making the first move to break the awkward silence. "Meme," He began, voice soft.
"I have never forgotten you. forgotten us."
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:45 pm
Memetuka watched Abedari, still not sure what to say. Her feelings were all muddled up, he looked essentially just as he did all that time ago- but there was so much that was different about him. His whole demeanor, the way he carried himself, his submission, his worry, his attempted honesty despite the situation.. she stayed frozen when he stepped forward, feeling a lump in her throat that prevented her from speaking immediately as he said he had never forgotten.
The conversation turned so suddenly. If he was here, if he was going to talk about this.. they were going to have to talk about it all.
"Have you forgotten Shiri?" she asked when she found her voice, her tone plain though her meaning was more accusatory than she could get across. He had to know, he had to know that she knew he'd left her, had to know that Shiri had found her.. maybe even know just who that cub he'd seen her with was.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:43 pm
Even though Abedari knew not what to expect when he said what he had, Memetuka's words were the farthest from what he imagined. "S-Shiri?" He asked, the name slipping from his mouth as though it sounded foreign to his ears. Shiri was the only name that the two had agreed on when they were younger. It had been before Meme became pregnant and before the two even imagined having cubs. When Shiri came, it seemed the only name they could have chosen.
No sooner had Abedari found out about the cub it seemed he was being abandoned by Meme with only the small bundle of gold fur to keep him company. Shiri reminded him so much of Meme, Abedari could not remain in her company.
Shaking the memory from his mind, the darker colored male looked towards Meme with wide eyes, filled with regret. He had wanted Meme, but wasn't ready to take on the responsibility of being a father - especially alone.
"How could I have forgotten Shiri? I have not spent a single night without hoping that the Gods would keep her safe and that they would forgive my mistake for letting her go..."
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:53 pm
"H-how?" she asked, not at all acting surprised by his admission that he had abandoned her but rather continuing as if she expected it, as if she knew, "How could you just leave her? She was safe as long as she was with you, as long as she was not alone.."
Meme wasn't thinking, only speaking. She didn't know where she was going with this, but she knew she had to get it out. This conversation seemed like the last thing they had to do, maybe they could move on, maybe it could just all be over if they just .. said everything.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:06 pm
So many years had passed since that night. Meme had simply left the cub with Abedari with the expectations that he would care for her on his own. That he could be the single parent that she needed in order to survive. Memetuka did not know that Abedari had not the strength to care for his personal reminder of their lost love. She did not know that he had left her and yet here she was asking him how he could do it.
Caught up in a flood of emotions, the male simply explained himself, paying no mind to the details. His mind was a wreck and the unanswered questions of the past were coming back with a demanding to be resolved.
"I couldn't do it, Meme. I couldn't do it alone. She looked so much like you and you were all I wanted at the time. I was young. I was selfish. I was not ready."
Eyes, the same yellow-green hue of his daughters were glistening as though tears would fall and yet they remained strong, expressing his clear emotion on the situation.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:16 pm
"Y-you just left her, didn't make sure she would be ok- didn't give her a chance," she continued, her voice cracking a bit. When she left, she'd left Shiri with her father, with her other parent- someone who should have been able to take care of her, or should have cared enough to find a safe place to leave it. It truly was a miracle that Shiri was alive, that she was so healthy and so happy. And that she could forgive her mother.
"She wasn't supposed to be alone, you weren't supposed to leave her," she said, her voice getting quieter and quieter, "I trusted you- trusted you to do at least that much-"
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