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 Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:54 am
Sarah hadn't been feeling well at all over the last few weeks, after all her difficulty convincing Abel that pups would be wonderful to have, now they would not come. Their efforts all seemed to be in vain, for she felt no stirrings of life at all, and feared it might be too late already. She was back from the shop, where whispered rumors of more otters like Spike had come to her from the mouths of predators. The thought of more business however did little to cheer her up.
Slowly her claws slid out and she climbed up the great tree that she and Abel called home. At least seeing her beloved always cheered her up and made her feel warmer, even if they couldn't make their family any larger at least they had each other.
Her head poked into the tree and she frowned slightly, it would seem Abel was out. She sighed and carefully perched herself on a branch her claws scraping into the wood to find purchase. Sarah felt incredibly tired, she slowly lowered herself to lay on the branch, not wanting to wait inside lest she miss Abel's return. As she finally moved to rest her head on her paws she felt herself slip, her grip lost, she gasped and tumbled down.
Down, down, down. Thwap, thwack, smack. The branches slowed her decent and battered her until she was left in a heap on the ground. Sarah got gingerly back to her paws and whimpered, slowly she sat and surveyed the damage. Her dress was a bit torn, and her hair had tumbled from it's upsweep. She felt pains that would turn into bruises by nightfall and her head ached terribly. Slowly tears formed in her dark eyes, and soon the demonic female was sobbing into her paws. She cried not so much for having fallen, but how it reminded her that she had failed in so many ways.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:53 pm
Abel had been out, tracking with the Cat once again, keeping an eye on the newcomers into the Oasis. The Cat was becoming very interested in the job it had obtained working with the priest and began to openly enjoy it.
Anyways, the large male was just padding homeward when he heard the distinct sound of crying. Uncertain of the person doing so or the reason, he ran the last few yards into the view of his tree, to see none other but his Sarah, crying at the base of their tree.
"Sarah! Are you alright? What happened?" he rushed, hurrying to her side so that he could look her over and make sure she wasn't hurt.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:40 pm
Sarah gulped and tried to get her breath back as she heard Abel. She wiped at her dark eyes with her paws trying to regain some form of composure. Slowly she felt her body cease its trembling, as a warmth enveloped her, the warmth of having Abel near, and knowing she would be alright as long as they had each other. Still the tears slipped from her lashes, she felt terrible with their latest failure to conceive. Her latest failure, for she felt in her heart that it was her wickedness and age that had made all their efforts in vain.
She inhaled raggedly and tried to explain to Abel by pointing up at the tree. "Jus...Jus 'ad a lil tumble..." She murmured weakly.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 6:50 am
Abel's eyes widened as she told him that she had fallen out of the tree. What in God's name had she been doing up there in the first place?? Since becoming mates, Abel had almost completely moved from his nest down to the den beneath the tree, requesting of Jackie and the others to find a den of their own. So, if he was no longer using the large eagle's nest high in the tree, why had she gone up there?
Abel decided not to ask this question, though, and instead gently gather her to him and hugged her, careful of the good possibility she was hurting in places from the fall.
Perhaps he had grown to know her more than he knew.
"That's not all, though, is it?" he asked softly, looking down at her.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 10:55 am
"No...It's didn't 'urt, not really..." She shivered and nuzzled his chest trying to find the words to explain her fears, her true pains. She placed her paw against his heart and looked down. "Try as we might, it's not coming to us love..." She closed her eyes and moved her paw to her stomach.
She felt an aching emptiness inside, a failure to produce what she felt so deeply for her love. Why couldn't they create a family of their own? "I've failed us...maybe I can't..." She bit her lip with sharp fangs, her claws pressed against her bodice, reminders that she was made to destroy not to create.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 11:31 am
Abel's eyes grew even more wide, his head jerking a bit in surprise at her soft words and he smiled sadly down at her, taking her face in his paws.
"Dearest Sarah, it breaks my heart to see you blame yourself. It isn't your fault, my love. Please stop thinking that it is," he whispered, nuzzling her softly. It wasn't her fault, he was sure of that. If only he could make her see that they were just having problems, and that if it WAS anyone's fault, it was his, not hers.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 4:34 pm
Sarah gazed up at Abel lovingly, dark chocolate eyes meeting his fire and ice toned ones. She wanted so badly to believe that she could do this for them, yet failures from all attempts had drained her.
"Look at me Abel...whot I've done...whot I do. I 'elp sustain the killers, I feed them. Whot if it's just in me to take life, and not be able to give it?" She felt the ache of the fall settling into her bones, pains along her back and shoulders, a dull throb on bruised ribs.
For a moment her eyes faded, not the darkness of calculation, nor the brightness of joy, simply faded from hopelessness. As she looked back to Abel the hope lit in her eyes again, but softer, weaker. She would always have his love, but now she feared she might never be able to provide them with a family.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 4:53 pm
"Sarah, I don't think you quite understand my feelings," Abel replied, though the smile on his face helped to let her know that he wasn't upset.
"You feed predators. The only creatures that should be called killers, murderers, are those that kill for reasons other than survival, either in needing food or protection. You help those that need food. So, you may be aiding predators, which in a sense would make you a traitor, but that is no reason for you not to be happy, especially since you, yourself, haven't been actually killing anyone, of late," he explained. Things had been busy for him of late, and so he was bringing more back to her shop, as well as bringing the Cat as a customer. And the Cat itself had a knack for getting interesting trinkets, even some things from the outside world.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:30 am
Sarah lifted a paw to stroke his cheek and sighed softly, perhaps Able was right after all. She nodded softly and tried to push away her hard thoughts, still doubt lingered in her mind.
"It's jus' so very 'ard love, now that we want to grow our lil family...we keep trying and...failing." The word was bitter on her tongue and she rubbed at her eyes to keep them from tearing up again. She could imagine a pretty little girl with Abel's blue eyes and silvery hair, maybe wavy like her own. Sometimes she dreamed of a boy with her dark features and Abel's wings. Most of all she dreamed of the day she and Abel would curl up together, and pressed between them would be the smaller lives that they loved, made, raised together.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:28 am
Abel sat up and gathered her to him, an action that was sadly becoming a common thing. It tore him up to see Sarah so sad most of the time. At first, part of him was relieved they were having no luck, but now that thought was ridiculous. He wanted her to be happy, and deep down he wanted children as well. And he hated that he couldn't give Sarah what she wanted so much.
"Shhh, I know, I know," he attempted to soothe, stroking her hair. He looked down at her and touched his nose to her cheek.
"Someday, my dearest. You know... It just dawned on me," he said and paused to laugh whole-heartedly before looking down at her with renewed hope in his eyes.
"There is a story, in the Bible, of a couple favored by the Lord. And He promised them another child, but they were both very old. The wife actually laughed over the Lord's promise, saying she and her husband Abraham were too old to be able to have a child. But God did give them a son, much to their surprise. Genesis 21, verse 6, And Sarah said: 'God hath made laughter for me; every one that heareth will laugh on account of me.'"
He stopped there, smiling softly down at her. The Lord did it once, perhaps he would do it again.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:51 am
Sarah slowly relaxed in Abel's arms and nuzzled him as he brushed her cheek. She listened to his words and slowly felt hope settle in her chest. If Abel held out the hope that they could still manage somehow then she could too.
How amazing that she matched the biblical Sarah now, she wondered if the lord would look upon her and help her find what she desired. Her miracle was Abel though, she was uncertain if she deserved two in her lifetime. "I 'ope were so lucky..."
She rested her head against his chest wearily, still she felt warmer inside, her mates words brought her a comfort she had lost for a time.
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