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 Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:10 am
 Zeda blinked as she ran across the field chasing little mice from under her feet, its all she had found to do to keep herself entertained threw out the last few days, she had become so accustom to having either, Heha, Elik, Forte or Seraphia near her that she seemed a little lost now she had no one to argue with, she blinked and shook her head, what was she thinking they where little pests in fact she was glad they where gone, was she?
She flicked back her mane, she knew she must hate them she must, there is not anyone she did like, thats they way its supposed to be after all there just a lot of heartache in the end, she still found it impossible to get close to people, she did not know why but she hated the idea of company and of making friends, they where just one big complication which made life hard, and wasn't her life hard enough as it is?
She came to a stop in the middle of the field pondering on her own thoughts she had never really sat back and gave people a second thought so this was new to her, i guess the trouble over the last few days had finally made her ask herself questions,
'No i was happy before them and i am happy now there gone.' she thought finally straightening back her mind to what it normally was. 'I don't need anyone and thats that, no more thinking about it, there all just nothing, skin and bones, like everyone else, i like it on my own.' she nodded with a sinister smile as she looked around the field feeling like her old self again.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:26 am
Awnaety did not care that she was lonely often, however she has enough problems in her life already about Vibrant. Her heart was in desperate pain, however her stubborness grew much more everyday. Her heart grew darker every moment. Hating those happy around her and ignoring those who try to befriend her. Awnaety wasnt in the mood to see anyone except the only one she feels she only loves. However, now even he wouldnt accept her. The darkly colored mare stepped through the tall grass of the forest. The forest connected to every place she would ever go to, the forest was where she hid. The forest was her only friend. She snorted at some squirrel that had stopped in front of her to garb an acorn, it scurried away seeing Awnaety's hoove come down at it.
Heart broken, and lost in this world. What could be worse. Aches came to her, making her squeeze her eyes shut trying to fill in the emptiness with hate. She had once trusted someone, and now he was gone, there was no one to trust. Awnaety didnt even want the company of her own mother. She was a lone horse, and she did not care but enjoy the feeling of loneliness while it lasted. Until up ahead she spotted in a field not too far away from the border line of the forest, where a soquili stood. It had patterning just like Vibrant, which made her heart jump and excite, but as she started towards it, her heart only dropped once more to find that it was someone she had not seen and did not want to see in a very long time. One of her daughters stood solidly in the open. Zeda represented her father so much, that the mare just wanted to turn around and move along.
But her hooves stayed firm. She did not want to turn away from Zeda. It was hate and depression that drived her fowards to the young mare. However, Awnaety did not speak a word as she stepped into the field, she just kept her vision on Zeda and a dark expression.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:42 am
Zeda heard the grass crunch near by, her sparrow like eyes darted over as she blinked, the wind blew past her face, it was cold, in fact all of a sudden she seemed very cold. She spotted a brown mare coming towards her, She felt as if she new the mare, in fact she felt it in her blood, in her very self, her eyes widened as she stepped back a little almost traumatized.
She shook her head out of disbelief she seemed scared in a way, it was mostly the memories flooding back from childhood, things that she didn't remember now seemed as clear as day in her eyes. Everything that made Zeda herself.
"M-om..?" she uttered under her breathe, she felt something tick inside of her making her feel angry in a way like she wanted to scream and shout, but she kept it under control, she looked at her mother with cold eyes, the same cold eyes that she had given everyone from being very young, and the cause of all of the trouble in her family, what made her so bitter was coming towards her and for once she did not know what to do.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:55 am
The dark mare smirked and turned. Now her side was facing Zeda. She did not speak a word but bent down to look at an inch worm slowly makes it way up a thin piece of grass. Oh how fragile it was, in one step this worm's life could end all at once. However, Awnaety's focus should not be on this worm, but on her daughter who looked quite shock then adjusted her stare into a cold stare. Awnaety lifted her head and looked at Zeda, holding her smirk in place. "So you still remember me." It wasnt a question and neither a compliment on Zeda's memory. It was a fact that Awnaety had made real history in Zeda's life, that the young mare shall never forget her even if she shall disappear out of her life for eternity.
Awnaety knew she isnt fit to have children, the only reason was because she loved her mate so much. However, now Zeda here only reminded her of anger and him. How he'd let her go just because she had disappeared. It was not her fault...but why she never visited him during her absence, she had no clue. It was just fate for this family to fall into doom. Right now Zeda will have to share the pain that lingers in heart. Awnaety knows the image of her to her mate and daughters was a shock and a heart felt pain. She liked pain...on others.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:13 am
"Of cause not how could i forget you, then again i wish i could, thats what you would want, after all you don't care about me, you just want to disappear, cause as much trouble as you want, its you that made my father and sister loathe me just as much." She stated with her cold glare fixed on her mothers eyes. She started to shake at her feet, and took deep breathes in, shaking her head slightly the wind blowing her mane all other the place as she tilted her head with a smug smirk.
"So why come back now, when i have finally gotten over the last wounds you have given me, what do you want from me? you brought me into this world just so you could bring me to this? why didn't you just leave me at birth, there would of been a small chance of me being happy, with out knowing i had a family, if you can call it that, families are supposed to love each other" she stated with a small hiss in her voice it getting louder with every word she spoke her eyes getting wider and more angry.
She never really let anyone get under her skin this much but it just hurt so much, she thought she had been making progress with people, learning to finally care for friends, but now it seemed as if she was back to square one.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:32 am
Awnaety could hear the pain and suffering in Zeda's voice, and it was like music to her ears. She started to circle her daughter, not letting her eyes leave hers. "Oh no, dont forget me. I dont liek to be forgotten. In fact, I would like very much if you remember, and remember all the pain I've given you," she stopped walking right in Zeda's face. "You are only as strongheaded as you are right now because of the pain. So be happy." She darkly laughed, not out loud, but rather quietly as if to herself. Zeda's next questions were not a challenge at all. "I do not want anything from you, my dear. It just so happens that I run into you. Perhaps its fate that I do, god does not want you to have any happiness. And I know when you see me, happiness is never found for quite some time," she began her cat-walk circles again. This time very slowly. "Leave you, hmm I prefer the pain on your little face rather than knowing I had let some filly go and find happiness." The truth was that Awnaety had found happiness once, and the reason why she had kept those babies of hers. It was for him course. But now, what did it matter?
The mare stopped at Zeda's ear, and slowly whispered, "Everytime you find happiness, you'll see me, and it'll all just wash away." Awnaety found it joyful to taunt her daughter, perhaps it was because she wanted to relieve some pain in her chest by doing something she enjoy very much. Sliding away from the young mare, Awnaety brought back her smirk and watched Zeda.
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:58 pm
Zeda glared at her as she stared to the side.
'c'mon Zeda dont let her do this, you have come so far now, you are strong, you are very strong and you can not go back to being a shell, in a way you still are but your winning, you wont let this tirant push you around now will you?' she thought to herself as she looked back at her shaking her head and jumping back.
"I am happy, here by myself with out anyone to get in my way, i will not make the same mistake as you, you had love, and you threw it away but guess what he doesn't care any more, you lost your own chance to be happy and just because of that don't take it out on me, i mean you had me for him but some use that did because you have ended up a lonely old women, i wont make you mistake love is for the weak and thats what brought you down, thats why i am ashamed of you, your weak, not me." she stated with a small hiss as she turned the other way her fringe falling over one eye, she did not know if what she said had made sense but she did not care she felt better for some reason.
"I hope i remind you of him, i hope looking at me makes your eyes and hearty want to bleed." she yelled taking another deep breath in her heart was racing in her chest.
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:18 pm
Awnaety's heart sank deep inside her guts. Zeda had mentioned Vibrant and had fought back very well. A quick flash of pain occured to her face but she was quickly recovered by replacing her smirk. Awnaety stepped closer to her daughter. "Yes you do remind me of him. Yes I have lost happiness. But looky here, you've never found happiness at all. At least this old mare has found more happiness than you ever will." She sighed and walked off a little bit chuckling evily to herself. "Mistake what mistake? Nothing is ever a mistake. Theres is always a reason why it happend or why we did it in the first place." The dark mare's smirk grew more. Awnaety did not fear her child at all, what was the worst at the moment had already been yelled out. What else could Zeda bring up, that she was....too dark? Another chuckle came to her as she thought of this.
Circling Zeda once more she looked her over. "I'm not weak. At all. Having a little brat like you only makes me stronger. Im already way stronger than you little girl." Slipping away before Zeda could turn her head to look at her. "You've grown up fast, maybe you've eaten too many poison berries. Hm. Didnt have the time to teach you when you were young what not to eat and what to eat in the outdoors," yawning, Awnaety found this conversation completely pointless now but it made time fly. Not so much for Zeda she bet. "One day you will get yourself killed. Trying to act tough is no use, Zeda." Awnaety nodded. The mare slowly stepped away and started walking away but then she stopped a few metres apart from her. Waiting for a response, "Yes, I have lost your father, but at least he had wanted me once. No one will ever want you. Not even your daddy does," she said kind of shaking her butt.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 3:43 am
"on well, i am not acting tough, I have nothing to live for so why should i fear what i say or what i do, i grew up because i had to, and no i was not thought anything by anyone i did it all myself its all i need," she stated as she stared over at her flicking her mane her legs starting to shake again. She reflected in her own mind a little bit as she heard what her mother said 'no one will ever want you'
"Thats not the case, Forte wants me to be with her because she feels safe. Seraphia thinks i am an interesting person and likes being in my company, Elik lived to fight with me, Renero if fun to bother and Heha threatens to leave but he never does, they want me i just dont want them, you see mother i could have more happiness than you, heck with those people i could set up a heard if i wanted. The point is i dont want to have other people there, because there all like you and dad, you love them then they turn you away, i am nothing anymore and i dont want to hurt so i have already turned off my emotions you see, i really am nothing anymore mother." she stated as she reared up a little bit landing hard on her front two hoofs neighing loudly as she looked at the old mare.
"go back to him mother, find your god damn happiness again so i can move on, with him and sister thats what you want, just dont expect me to play happy families with you." she stated taking another deep breath in.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:50 am
Awnaety laughed out loud. She turned to Zeda "My darling, you are still much to young and closed minded to understand who you really are. As well, dont fool yourself into believing any mare will need your protection or any stallion live to fight for you. Not all soquilis are like us Zeda. Some do have soft sides, which I find pathetic. Its a matter of time before that gets ruined." Awnaety made a u-turn to face Zeda and sighed. "They feel the need to talk to you onyl because they feel sorry for ya. In their eyes, they see a hopeless lost little sad filly trying to find happiness." Nodding, placing a fake smile on her lips. "You've grown, but I'm afraid inside you, you are still a immature little girl who believes she doesnt need anyone. Which you have confirmed with your own words." The mare stepped closer and then landed herself on a flower that was just starting to bloom. Relaxing all her muscles as she layed down. "Such immature behavior. Pssh, you dont need anyone?" Awnaety remember how she always felt so strong and tough and then come to realise she was not when she had met Vibrant. That a stallion could drive her insane or make her swoon. Love was a funny machine inserted in everyone. "When you find the right stallion for yourself Zeda, you'll know...." Her voice softened, as she looked down at the earthy soil.
The mare often dremt of being older and able to back everyone down. Except the real world wasnt so easy. "You arent too different from me. I was once like you..." Awnaety looked up and stared in her daughters face. She smirked and got up, the flower flattened to death under her weight. "So as much as you hate me, in you, will always have a part of me. One day perhaps you will grow up to be strong like your mother. I do not need a male for happiness. However I'm not saying I dont need anyone, I just dont need a stallion." Staing her fact. Awnaety's heart started to heal from Vibrant, perhaps she was on the right tracks.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:13 pm
'love' she shrugged she had never really thought about getting herself a man, she could never picture someone caring that much about her never mind her caring for someone else. She simply did not know how too, you where suposed to learn stuff like that from how your parents treated you but that did not turn out right, she also couldnt imagine herself having foals, if she did it would proberbly be from a one night stand, but she was determained that she was going to be a good mother, she might not like them but she would do a better job than what her mother did with her at least she would pretend to care for their sake.
"Well what if i am just like you, at least that means i have some 'fun' coming my way." She chuckled as she flicked her frindge back she couldnt be bothered taking her mother seriously at the minuet she no longr felt threatened and even if she did, her mother really couldnt do much to her, i mean getting attacked by a Kalona and being able to tell the tale, she was pretty comfedent her mother could not but her threw more physical pain that that big black thing that had attacked her for no reason what so ever.
"Well mother in that last speach of yours it almost sounded like you where proud of me and 'darling' i feel honnered.' she stated sarcastically as she rolled her eyes and joined her mother laying down in the grass, she looked over her shoulder at the sun which was getting blocked out by the clouds, she had wondered why it was so cold out now.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:29 pm
Awnaety smiled and looked at her daughter. "Ha, well proud...I'm not so sure about proud. But no matter what you are still my daughter, I shouldnt be the one putting you in pain thats other soquilis job, but thats just me." She sighed, in her heart she knew she could do better and maybe Vibrant just would have stuck with her. She shook her head and stared at Zeda. She was still her own flesh and blood. Looking at Zeda, she knew how it would be a pain in the arse if she had to repeat her life. "Just....go on and find happiness. Before you start rejecting anyone," the mare laughed knowing that Zeda would probably wonder what the hell happend to the old witch side. Fact was, Awnaety had realised she really did have some care for 'em, even if she wont admit it. Sighing she snorted at Zeda and lifted her head to the sky. "Dont let just any man fool you, as i'm sure you wont. Dont fall too fast, test them, test them real hard. Make sure he will stick by your side," she merely whispered her last words.
The dark mare bent down and started chewing on some grass patch for dinner. After a moment of silence, "You arent as snobbish as your sister Morgana, you should meet her sometime, teach her a lesson. If you can that is." chuckling evily. "I still believe that no man will want you." Awnaety added laughing out loud. Inside, she knew that Zeda stood a better chance at life than her. "I dont hate you, I just like to pick on you." Her own kind of teasing.
[[one last RP response today just for you ;D]]
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 10:40 am
Zeda tilted her head a little surprised she wondered why she had always imagined her as such an evil witch the fact was, she always needed someone to blame when she wondered why she turned out the way she did her mother just seemed the obvious option because ever problem with her family seemed to link back to her in some way or another, it might sound weird but she felt a great weight on her shoulders nowher mother did not seem to be acting so bad like she had lost her escape goat and now she had to come up with another accuse.
"Don't worry mother if i ever was to spark an interest with someone, which is very unlikely i shall say now that he would have to challenge the fires of hell just to prove he was worthy of my time." she stated with a small laugh of her own.
She thought on her mothers words for a moment 'teach them a lesson' she smiled at the thought as she started to feed with her mother, she thought that maybe if she tried to do that with her father and her sister maybe there is a small chance that she could be happy and even make up all of her lost years as a child. She looked at her mother and felt strange mainly because she did not know how to react and what o say she was no longer shaking and all that anger just seemed to have evaporated into the air.
"err... thanks mom i guess." she stated surprised that she did not call her mother as she usually did. She looked at her and wondered it wouldnt be that bad to be like her i mean she knew her mom must of been hurting as much as she did but still she had a warm side so why couldnt she?
[awww thanks xD]
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 11:02 am
Awnaety smiled lightly and nuzzled her daughter. "Good girl," nodding as she pulled her head away. "Have you met your sister?" After her badly ended relationship with Vibrant, she has toned down a bit. Now that her heart was actually starting to mend. Awnaety did not see Zeda as her daughter as of right now, but a friend, a company. Everyone needs someone there. This was her first actual conversation without any unhappy words...however the begining had already been ruined. But what has been said has been said. She was angry and her daughter was the likely target, she was just there. A tear almost caught up to her eye, but she sniffed and it disappeared. The wind brushed against them both and made the trees sway. Sun being beaten down. Awnaety hoped that Zeda knew her and Vibrant will never be the same again, and never together anymore.
"We hold our own destinies. As well, our future. What we do in life affects her later on wether you like it or not. Love, is the only war in life." Awnaety's words echoed into the open field, as she closed her eyes she could see a family. A family of four, both parents and two children running freely across a hill and into the sunset. They melted away. The mare smiled and stared up to the sky, this was her destiny, she'll never stop being cold towards others, but she can be nicer as well now.
[[ =shivers= when she says 'good girl' it reminds me of pediphile shows
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 11:18 am
"oh her." she stated as she rolled her eyes at the thought of her sister. "She hates me, father is depressed and its all my fault in her eyes, for a short amount of time i believed it i am a ghost to him now, hes always ignoring me pretending i am not there, so i have given up on him too, to be honest until now i had given up on everything." She stated as she looked to the floor she did not understand what was happening but to be honest she was happy at the mood that was in the air, her eyes widened when her mother nuzzled her, she had never had that done to her before it made her want to cry for some reason and in fact she could feel her eyes watering this had not happened in years and she was shocked.
"I know mom, i think thats why i do it, i always blamed everything on you and i stay away from people because i don't want to hurt anymore, if i don't get attached i assumed that i would not feel any more, and i don't but it seems like thats the thing.. i have just been doing myself more damage but its too late i cant change now." She stated as she shook her head looking up at the sky aswell she loved to do so, she wished she could fly the birds always seemed so happy.
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