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 Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:00 pm
Done ^_^ we broke up and are friends now.
No worries
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:24 pm
That was rude and disrespectful of you to go onto his phone behind his back and delete her number, for starters. I'll clarify that in a minute.
As for you two dating, basically I'd advise you both to go find other people to date, and to not be together until you both grow up, mature, and learn to both trust and respect each other and yourselves.
You can't "make" anyone stop cheating. It's something they have to decide for themselves, just as it's something you have to make a decision about yourself too. If he won't stop cheating on you, then you need to find someone who will treat you right and stay with you. And if you're cheating on other people to be with him, that's not fair to the person(s) you're supposed to be with exclusively (unless you've agreed to have an open relationship with other people).
He has the right to talk to anyone he wants, ex or not. If it's bothering you, then that's something you two need to talk about together. Maybe he can agree to not have contact with her. But violating his privacy is only going to make it worse, which is why I said above that you shouldn't have done that. I'd be pissed if my boyfriend went onto my phone and deleted some numbers - that's something he should talk to me about.
And above all else, again, you two need to trust and respect each other. If he won't stop talking to his ex's, and it's still bothering you, then you need to either trust him or walk away from the relationship. And vice versa for him if he doesn't want you having contact with your ex's.
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:28 pm
It sounds like there are serious maturity problems in this relationship. Dating people for a week, kissing other people behind a partner's back, advertising crushes over MySpace, death threats, getting jealous about a partner having another girl's number, etc. is far from the kind of stuff that happens in stable or mature relationships.
Now that certainly does not mean you are immature, and it doesn't mean he is immature. But it might mean you two put together just make an immature combination. Sometimes we can be very mature and rational people, then you get us around a certain person, and it's like our whole personality changes. This might be one of those cases. If you think that is the case, you might have to go separate ways before you two hurt each other or someone else.
Or it might mean you two are not ready to be in a serious relationship yet. If you think that is the case, maybe you two could take a little break from each other, find yourselves, get comfortable with yourselves, get over some jealousy issues, etc. then try seeing each other again later.
Counseling is another option. If you two seem to have cheating and jealousy issues, counseling might help you find out why and figure out what is at the root of the problem.
Another option would be having an open relationship. Now from what you said, I don't think you two are ready for that right now but it is something you could keep in mind for the future. The reason I don't think you're ready just yet is because it sounds like you two have some jealousy issues that you would need to work on before that could be a viable option for you.
I doubt any of those options sound ideal to you, but from what you described, this relationship needs something drastic because it is out of control and it cannot be healthy for either one of you. Ideally, you two should be able to be honest with each other, be able to communicate with each other, feel secure in the relationship, and be able to trust each other. There's no magical way to bring those things into a relationship, and you can't force them.
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