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 Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:22 pm
As Twilight was about to strike the city, promising another fearful night, he rode in. The first thing the townspeople noticed, wasn't the mysterious traveler's looks, or his weapon. It was his horse. In these rough times most travelers had custom made mounts designed for any number of things, such as speed, or endurance. His was worse than lack luster, or standard. It seemed to be past its prime over a decade ago. As he rode into the village he was approached by the towns Vigilance Corps. "..." He sat stoically on his steed. "Well looky here boys! We got ourselves a pretty little thing, don't we?" At his remark a few of the men chuckled. That was until the traveler started riding by. "Just wait a damn minute boy! The hell do you think you're doing!? Think you can just ride right on through? You got some nerve for a youngn.....Maybe I ought to teach you a lesson!" And with that comment a wave of murderous intent assaulted the young mans back, and the would be leaders groupies backed away. As he turned around the travelers eyes seemed to be colder than steel. "I have an appointment with the mayor." And that was that. The Leader of the Vigilance Corp. was shocked into silence. Just who was this man that could ignore such a psychological assault, without even batting an eye?
((More to come as the inspiration strikes me))
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 12:14 am
((And now part two, of story one))
With that brief comment, the traveler rode on, leaving the group behind him stunned. After nearly five minutes, he had tied his horse in the barn next to the mayor's house, and had walked to the door, knocking softly. As he stood, a voice coming from his side commented. "You know, they really do fear ya....kinda funny, they don't even know your secret, and they're all ready to kill ya. Real funny...." Then the voice was abruptly cut off. Shortly after the door was opened by a homely looking maid. "Good evening. The mayor is waiting for me." Then the stranger walked in, moving easily by the maid, who was stunned by his good looks. "O-of course sir..." Was all that followed him, as he moved into the parlor, taking a stance against the wall waiting patiently.
((And part three to come sometime later.))
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:57 pm
It's a neat idea and you're pretty good. In the first one you had a couple extra commas though, which made it a little choppy. I liked the way you described the young men as "groupies". Other than that, I think it's pretty good. If I notice anything else I'll tell you.
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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:42 pm
((Thanks, I've always had an issue with commas, so I put them where ever. And now I'm inspired to write something else.))
As he walked through the forest he shook his head, looking up at the night sky. "Man, you just can't get used to that....." He then stopped, and turned around. "You know I can sense you....sneaking up on one of the four....not the best idea in the world." He smirked as his visitor showed himself.
"Didn't think I'd be able to....but all the rumors point to you being the weakest. So lets get this started then!" And with that, the would be assassin drew his short sword as he rushed the young man.
The young man just stood there shaking his head. "Weakest.....? You really shouldn't believe rumors...." He easily sidestepped the attack. "You know, you give up now, and you get to live....." He then turned his attention back to the starlit sky. "But I suppose this is a good place for you to die." He held his right hand off to the side, causing the attacker to stop from what looked like fear.
"Just what the hell are you up to? You cant use your power here....this forest is protected..." His eyes widened in shock. "N-no!" Was all that escaped his lips.
As the young man started walking away, he turned his head to the side. "Never call me weak again....I'm not always a gentle breeze." He was out of sight when his attacker came to, holding his shoulder.
"Weak....hah....took my arm clean off....." As he dashed into the night, the only sound he made was that of his blood dripping onto the ground everyone so often
((Just who is this young man? And Why do I make them so badass? More importantly, who are the four? All to be answered sometime in the near future. I've dubbed this one, "The Four Guardians"))
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:16 pm
((Now, Part two. Kinda...of "The Four Guardians"))
She gave a sigh as she scanned the horizon. "You know guys, I don't think he's gonna show....you know how he likes his solitude....." She hung her head, thoughts of the young man swimming through her head, causing a faint blush to color her cheeks. "I mean, why does He have to always be alone.....I mean, we're all a team, and we know how difficult it is to live with this power......" She trailed off, looking to the closest thing the young man had to a family, his best friend, for the answers.
"You know how he gets....besides....you don't have to balance two aspects of your power....he does....." He gave a sigh, remembering the only time his friends power got out of control. "A whole town, dead in a matter of minutes......just because he let his doubt overwhelm him.....when was the last time that happened to you?" His voice carried a little anger, born from resentment.
"Geez....I mean, sure he's good looking, but I don't get why you can't just focus. He isn't important to the plan She shook her head. "Besides he isn't nearly as strong as I am! With that declaration, she picked up a giant, ornate looking axe. "And he can't even manifest his weapon..."
((Part three should be interesting....the four will be complete, and who knows what will happen.....They may even get names!))
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Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:18 am
((Part three. "The Four Guardians"))
He took a quick look around. Then spun on her. "The hell are you thinking?! Put that away you idiot! You want someone to find us? You want us all dead? Well Sephira?" The candles in the room flickered wildly with that outburst.
There was a gasp from behind him. "Calm down! You want to make an even bigger scene Ryske? She had closed the window and drawn the blinds as soon as she saw what was happening.
She just shook her head. "Well....that's not it at all.....I just want to show the difference between me and him...... She looked down at the ground, willing her axe to vanish. "I mean....he's never here...and you all seem to think he's some big shot, badass......I've never seen what he can do, same as Akari.....we just hear things from you...Ry."
As soon as she had finished talking, a strong gust had caused the candles to die out temporarily. When the candles had sputtered back into life they all turned back to the window. Now open, and with a young visitor siting on the windowsill, silently smoking. "Been awhile, huh Ry?" Left the young mans lips, along with a puff a smoke.
Her eyes widened."Rizithra!" She tried to rush over to the window, but Ryske held her arm. It was then that the scent of blood hit Akari's nose. "Riz.....why do you smell like blood?"
He just turned to face them. Getting gasps from all But Ryske. His face was covered in a spray of blood. "Got attacked....in the sacred forest.....Good thing I don't have to rely on that power......" He smirked, making his visage look even ghastlier. "Oh, and Sephira.....don't summon your weapon again....they're looking for that....blast of power.....and they know what it feels like because of me.."
((Yay. Names. And something that has Rizithra concerned lurking in the dark....what could it be? More to come soon!))
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Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:07 am
((Hmm....Part four! 'The Four guardians'))
Stunned looks were all that greeted his announcement.
Ryske was the first to find his voice. "And just why the hell did you use it? I don't give a damn what happened in the sacred forest, you didn't have to use that! We both know you could've fended off anyone without it...." He turned his gaze to Sephira. "Yeah, every thing you think he can't do, he probably can, sorry to burst that bubble, but it is what it is. He's.."
"Just out to have a little fun. Besides, using it means they'll come after me....and you know how much I just love a good fight." His voice came from the bathroom, shortly before the sound of a faucet running could be heard.
Sephira hung her head. "So no matter what...." She muttered. No matter how hard I try, or strong I become, he'll always be ahead of me...... "Dammit!" She jumped up, and rushed into the bathroom, slamming Rizithra against the wall. "Just what the hell do I have to do, to surpass you? Why can't I ever close the gap between us?! I just don't get it.....I've worked harder than you ever had to, and you're still to damn strong for any of us to match...."
Sobs came from the bathroom shortly after that outburst, as she clung to Rizithra's chest. Keeping him pinned against the wall as she lightly pounded on her chest, venting years of her frustration. "Sephira.....You're an idiot.....you can chase all you want....but you will never catch up to me....nor close that gap....for one reason. We all are an embodiment of these powers, and you know that. And you know what mine is. It's the same reason that no matter how much Akari might want it, that her and I will never happen. You just can't tie down the wind." He then put his arms around her, holding her tightly. Letting her tears soak the front of his shirt.
Outside the bathroom, Ryske and Akari just shook their heads, before Akari ran out of the building. "Never be with me.....Just because he wants to be as close to his power as possible......I don't get it....."Tears began streaming down her cheeks in hot waves.
((Gotta love the drama. And poor Ryske.....having to be in the middle of all that, just cause he's got a power too....of all the sorriest things in that drama, who does your heart go out for? I'll tell you who's the one in the most pain of all, next time. You all get to see what's going on in that head of Rizithras!))
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:35 pm
Ooo, that's good! Hurry up and write the next part please... Maybe you could do a prequel?
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:37 am
I actually have a lot of the story done, I was just putting out a sample of the book I'm writting. Same story and every thing, and yes, there will be a prequel type of thing. Dream sequence cause I think thats the best way to do it. I'm only gonna put one more part on here, cause I don't want to give it all away.
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:43 am
That is so great! Will you tell me what it's called so that I can buy it when it's published?
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 6:07 pm
Of course! It's called the 'Four Guardians', and I'm going to try to get it published some time next year. Still gotta finish it, and of course I'm making it a two part series. I'm also doing it under a pen name. So yep. No being famous for me.....just don't want that!
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Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 12:42 am
((And without further audiu, final part, which is going to be my favorite scene! You'll just have to buy the book when it comes out to get the rest! Now, let me introduce you to the one women that can tame Rizithra's wild zephyr.....Reina!))
Just as she was about to turn, she heard his whisper. Looking down she saw him. She closed her eyes, muttering "Would you still catch me?' She lept from the window, landing in his arms.
"Always....Even in death. "His eyes showed nothing of what he was feeling. Dropping her as he lept backwards. "We aren't monsters, or destroyers.....despite what I did..."
"You don't get to just shrug that off so easily!" As she shouted, a tear rolled down her cheek. "My family....You killed them!"
He shook his head. "My family was there too...and Ryske's" His eyes shut as he took a breath. "And my power only got out of control when you left me......."He opened his eyes, letting the hurt show in his eyes. "You were always my reason to control it.....Now you're my reason to be stronger."He kept his stance neutral.
Reina laughed. "You never relied on anyone, and now you tell me that? You're a real piece of work..."She drew her blade. "I'm gonna enjoy this, you b*****d!"She lunged at him.
As she made her thrust, he twisted his body to avoid a finishing blow."You'll have to try harder than that if you want to cut the wind..." His voice flowed from behind her.
She spat at him. "Fight fair you freak! As she shouted, she threw a dagger at him. "W-why?"She dropped her sword in shock.
He saw the dagger coming, and let it pierce his chest, mere inches from his heart. He lept off the roof, stumbling as he landed in front of her. "Think of this as an 'I'm sorry'...."He passed out.
((No, that's not the end of the book. Just chapter one. My favorite part so far. Riz had just wandered away from the group, and manages to find Reina....Promise, one full length catch up on the hard copy. Love, pain, betrayal, and uncertainty are in our little groups future. Hope you enjoy! By the way, that's like part six...ish...))
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Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 12:27 pm
I love it. Hurry up and get it published, then when it is, tell me where it's being sold and I'll try to find it. I think that's my favourite scene too!
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 10:43 am
Why of course I'll tell you where it's being sold....and I'm really happy you like that scene! I've got a few more of Riz/Reina scenes coming up!
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 3:06 pm
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Reply
