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 Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:28 am
The one person that mattered most to me moved out to cali like about a year and a half, to two years ago.
I mean I still talked to him and s**t. But not like when he was around.
So he made some friends, got a girl, everything was all good.
And we would kinda stop talking, partially because his girlfriend was crazy, and just because it was hard to get the time.
Anyways, so his girlfriend ended up getting pregant by one of his friends and they would break up and get back together; until she finally dumped him for good.
So while this whole thing was happening, we weren't talking. I had no idea of all the s**t that he was dealing with.
So I ended up hearing from his sister that he was in a drive by and shot some kid he was kinda friends with, but not really.
And later that night he went home and killed himself.
Now I didn't hear this for like two ******** weeks.
Idk, I guess I'm not really trying to say anything or make a point.
But I feel like it's my fault.
I mean I know it's not, but I still should've been there for him.
I've talked him out of killing himself a couple of times, and I probably should have told someone he was like that.
But I never really thought it would go that far.
It's been about 4-5 monthes now, and I miss him so much.
I'm thinking about getting his name tattooed on me.
And I mean I had to go to school and act like everything was alright.
And right about that time we were talking about suicide in school and s**t.
I can block it out for like two weeks, but I'll just end up thinking about him again.
I can't stop crying, and I feel lame.
If anyone took the time to read all this, thanks.
There's so much more I could say, I'm just kinda venting.
I know alot of people have lost loved ones, and that totally blows; I'm sorry for your loss.
That one was my first. And he was the first kid I EVER loved.
But anyways.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:17 am
i know what it's like to lose someone you love or care alot about
sorry that happened mija
it isnt your fault at all though, so dont feel that it is ok
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:01 am
That s**t does happen and sometimes there ain't s**t you can do about it. Itll be rough for a little while you just gotta drive on and keep your head up. Talk to some homies too. I'm sure they'll be there for ya.
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