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Ginvera

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 10:55 pm


Quote:
So, I'm standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward...She takes my arm and with trembling voices she asks...."Have you found Jesus?" Her
eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.

Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But, unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 9 minutes. So by now I'm beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with these people. I mean if its not Christians it is the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Can a simple Druid get no peace?

So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic I reply, "You people lost him, again??"

The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping for and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch into her sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the concept that I might not be into being converted. I decide to not let her get going so I launch into a speech of my own...

"What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you've lost Him!" I hit her with a glare of accusation. "I mean really..." I take a measured breath. "How do you expect to have anyone follow a deity that you can't even find!"

The poor woman looks stunned. This isn't going so good. Panicked she looks desperately to the car... Surely one of the men can help.... Undaunted I press on... "Maybe the problem is with you people... I mean Muslims never seem to loose there deity. Come to think of it neither do Jews, or Pagans of any kind."

I look at the man getting out of the car. He's all smiles. "I realize you people used to burn people like me at the stake... What was that about... deity even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever woke up panicked that I couldn't find my Goddess or God. They are always right where they should be... In the fire of my candle, in the air that I breath, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of my spring. I never feel abandoned by my deity(ies)."

"Of course, you Christians aren't much fun..." I continue. By now they are all out of the car.

Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for words.

"Of course," I offer trying to give them some defense for losing Jesus. "He could have left due to religious differences. If I remember correctly He was Jewish. So if you are really so eager to find him..." I smile gently to soften the blow. "Check the nearest synagogue. He's probably in there. Also you folks should try and remember that this is America... Where freedom of religion means ALL religions."

Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at the bus stop... No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven't found Jesus, but I haven't lost him either smile

Someone sent this to you because they believe no one can have to much Deity.

It is a blessing in disguise. You can keep it to your self or pass it on.

Oh, and if you've found Jesus, please get his face on the evening news A.S.A.P so the Christians can stop looking for him.

- Author unknown


See, so the next time someone says "Have you found Jesus?" you could say that, it would get them to shut up
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:46 pm


Let me be the first to say AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I was told today by a pastor that I was going to Hell, and this just made me feel sooo much better xd  

Anaithnid


PFDiva

PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 11:03 pm


You're the first, and I'll be the second: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! anyway, can't wait for someone to tell me i need to find Jesus, again. it'll be the extreme in funny  
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 11:37 pm


xD Yeah it is very funny. I showed it to my brother and I thought he was going to die of laughter, I mean....he know offically wants to say it to anyone who asks him that question, if he can do it with a straight face.  

Ginvera


S. Shark

PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:54 am


Indeed, very funny. I gotta better one, though. Have I found Jesus? Yeah, he was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana. xd
PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:25 am


Jesus found in a poor mans car last nite at 12:45 pm.
The status of his condition is unknown at this time.



Heheheheheheh!....funny news report. blaugh  

TheBazirkOne


PFDiva

PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:44 am


Have I found Jesus? Why? Are you his girlfriend? blaugh not AS funny, but even more amusing if it's a guy, and you ask him if Jesus is his boyfriend...
PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:59 am


rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

Fauche


Syndrama

PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:35 pm


"Have you found Jesus?"

"Yes... he's in Mexico on just about every street corner. 3nodding "
PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:52 pm


(A good, subtle threat for when the question turns from advertisement to harassment a little too quickly)

(Already making persistent gestures in this case) "Have you found Jesus?"
"No, but they find a lot of things at the station. You want me to call them?" biggrin

NoSuchCreature


Trisaekrobe

PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:50 am


Lol! Thats so great! I want to do that to my dad but he would prolly smack me sad . Anyways, thats a great way to get rid of them xp  
PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 12:14 pm


This is the best laugh I've had in months, I'm printing this off and putting it up on my dorm door (I go to a Christian college, ironically enough)

Sita87


PFDiva

PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 2:27 am


Sita87
This is the best laugh I've had in months, I'm printing this off and putting it up on my dorm door (I go to a Christian college, ironically enough)
*high-fives* you GO, girl!
PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 5:59 am


Very funny, but you've got to feel sorry for the woman, she really didn't expect that to happen.

SilverEyesWolf


PFDiva

PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 12:43 pm


SilverEyesWolf
Very funny, but you've got to feel sorry for the woman, she really didn't expect that to happen.
i do, a little, but it's really annoying to be stopped on the street and preached to, by a stranger, no less! so, she halfway deserved it, but...yeah, i get you
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