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 Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:02 am
The day was pleasant. The sky was a pleasant blue, there were pleasant white clouds scudding through it, the weather was pleasantly warm with a pleasant cooling breeze. The grass under his hooves was pleasantly springy to tread on, and pleasantly crisp and sweet to taste. His muscles were pleasantly tired from a pleasant run with his mate, and his belly was now pleasantly full.
Diego raised his head from the grass and gave a disgusted snort. “When,” he asked of the pleasant day, “did my life get so bloody boring?” Every day the same, every single blasted day. Wake up, eat, drink, maybe go for a run, talk to bloody sycophants, b***h about bloody sycophants, eat, drink, sleep. Nothing changed, nothing improved, noting happened. Every day was pleasant, and every day he feared that he would become pleasant too. Every day he feared he would forget what it was to live rather than to exist.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:03 am
Sighing to herself, the striped mare raised her head from the grass ad moved over to her golden partner to nudge at his sleekly muscled neck. “Cheer up there blue-eyes,” she said with a lopsided grin, “it’s not as bad as all that. Well, it is but there’s not a lot we can do about it. Just do what I do and make the best of what little shreds of interest still come by and you might just stay sane.”
She was a bit surprised that she had actually, and she suspected that she mostly had Diego to thank for that. Once she’d stopped hating him, he’d managed to brighten her life in small ways every day with his sharp wit and clever observations of their fellow herd members. She probably wouldn’t tell him that, though, telling each other they cared about one another still wasn’t something they did despite how well they got along now. Perhaps they were both too manly, or perhaps they were both too disillusioned with the idea of love to express even the platonic kind to one another. Perhaps they each just knew that the other cared, and knew that the other knew they cared as well.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:15 am
Diego sighed and nudged back, shaking his head slightly as he did so. “I do that,” he muttered, “I try to enjoy watching some twerp fall in the river when he was trying to show off, I try to find pleasure in laughing behind my wing at some flouncing bint who hasn’t got her way for the fist time in her life... I try Bastet but... but it isn’t enough.”
Giving another sighed, the sleek Jala turned aside from his mate and walked the few paces that bought him to a pleasantly babbling stream. He looked down into it, and his reflection looked back at him. It was as handsome a countenance as ever. It was no longer the youthful stallion who had trotted back here with his six b*****d children, it was the beauty of a fully mature stallion; no youngster but still in his prime by a long way.
“You know this used to make me happy?” he said after a moment, not looking away from his own features. “Before I left here for the first time and met Iona, I actually found true satisfaction just in looking at myself. It was so easy to be happy back then, or at least to convince myself that I must be happy given how attractive and beloved by all I was. I can’t seem to do it anymore though. I’ve managed to become a vaguely deep person, and I’ve also managed to discover that I’m not cut out for the safe pleasantness of life in a herd like this one. I should have stayed a cold-hearted b*****d; at least back then I was mostly satisfied with life.”
He was whining, he ought to stop and just put up with what life had thrown at him. Was he not well fed? Was he not strong and healthy? Did he not have a beautiful mate who he loved, at least in a way? Why couldn’t that satisfy him? Many would kill to live his life. He ought to be grateful. He wished he’d never come back.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:29 am
Bastet snorted and moved over to stand beside her mate. “Well, you were a right shallow b*****d then, weren’t you?” Damn. She was no good at this making people feel better about their drekkie lives thing. “I’m glad you’re not a cold-hearted b*****d,” she went on eventually, “I mean, back then you spent mot of you life making other people’s lives miserable, right? At least now the people that like you really like you rather than just associating and agreeing with you to avoid being ripped apart by your tongue... Well either they really like you or they want to get in with the guy who’s going to be effectively in charge here on day soon...” Oops. “Well not necessarily soon,” the tall mare amended hastily, “but, you know, at some point.” Damn her and her big over active mouth; why had she felt the need to go and say that? Sure Estavan was old now but he might live for quite a while yet, right?
Shaking her head internally over her faux pas, the striped Jala draped one wing over Diego’s back and smiled a him. “Maybe you should talk to your father about taking on some more duties or something? At least you’d be busy that way, and it would be something kinda meaningful too; looking after everyone and seeing we don’t piss off any neighboring herds or anything.” She had a feeling that her idea wouldn’t be a lot of help, but she hadn’t known what else to say. Diego wanted interest, change, excitement in his life again. That didn’t exactly come easy in a place like this. Damn.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:42 am
Diego snorted and turned away from the water, stepping out from under his mate’s wing as he did so. “No need to backtrack Bastet,” he said with a shake of his head, “I know my father’s old, not that healthy anymore either.” It had been hard to get his head around at first, the idea that one day his sire wouldn’t be around anymore, but he’d managed it now, managed to accept it even. All things died in the end; so went the world and there was no point lamenting it too much especially when it hadn’t even happened yet.
“As to duties, though,” Diego went on, “I’m already doing almost everything that I’ll have to when my brother takes over. Honestly, the herd runs itself for the most part; there isn’t all that much for a leader to do save sort out alliances, disputes and be a figurehead. In any case, those tasks that are mine, the first two of course, don’t interest me either.”
Frowning and shaking his head again, the golden Jala kicked at a small stone and watched it skip away across the grass. “Wish trie would pick out a mate for my brother,” he grumbled, “once that happens I might... well if she’s a clever mare I might not really be needed here. Still,” he sighed, “what are the chances of that? I think I got one of the few bright-minded mares of good blood here abouts in you.” Added to that, chances were his father would want to match his brother with a mare he’d feel comfortable, and that would probably be a none too bright one.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:21 am
Bastet sighed internally as Diego turned away but soon found herself smiling at his words again. “Well thanks, good to know I’m worthy of being called intelligent...” She didn’t really know what else to say; her mate seemed to be either in a mood to shoot down all possibility of happiness, or just unable to see it no matter how he tried. She knew she’d done both early on in their relationship; perhaps it was his turn now. She hoped not; last thing she needed was for the blue-eyed Jala to start being a misery, she still wasn’t exactly happy with her life and having him grumble over it only made her more aware of that fact.
“Maybe you should talk to him about it, though,” the gold-hooved mare suggested eventually. “I mean, you’re so good at faking he might not know you’re unhappy. He wouldn’t want that, you know that well enough, you might at least ask him what his plans are.”
She had a feeling, though, that a mare who could run the herd would not be what Estavan looked for. He needed somebody he would trust for that, and that meant Diego. Still, there was no need to say that aloud; she might be wrong, and she didn’t want to discourage her mate from asking just in case she was. If another person could run things then Diego would be free to wander off at times and, consequently, she too would get more freedom. It was a long shot, certainly, but worth a try given what they could gain.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:46 am
Diego turned around at the hope in his mate’s voice and offered her a faint smile. “Well, I could try I suppose. I think I know what the answer will be but... well, I’ll try.” After all, the worst his sire could do was refuse and rebuke him for trying to slip out of his duties. Such a dressing down would be unpleasant, true, but if he didn’t ask then he’d always wonder what would have happened. The possibility that the old Jala would hasten to find a mate for his brother who was both capable and trustworthy was slim but existent. Possibly.
The blue-eyed stallion sighed again and bent to nibble at an itch on his knee. “I sometimes think we should just copy Sekhmet and bugger off into the sunset,” he commented as he raised his head. “Horribly irresponsible, stupid, unfair to my family all yes,” he went on with a wry smile, “but fun? Also yes. If I wasn’t here they’d find a way to cope, they’d have to but... but I can’t. I can’t do that to my father and brother. They’re both counting on me, I can’t just run out on that.” Why was he saying all this? Was he hoping Bastet would contradict him, encourage him to run out on his duties? He probably was and everything, wasn’t he? Damn.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 10:19 am
Bastet’s smile faded and she joined her mate in the giving of heavy sighs. “Can’t. I figured that out, and you would too. It was different for her, she didn’t have any responsibilities, she wasn’t a vital playing piece for the herd; she left before she could get stuck in any of that. It was all very well for her, Diego, but we can’t do that and you know it as well as I do if not better. We have to stay here and think of the damn stupid greater good.” Bastet snorted and gave herself a shake in an attempt to free herself of some of the tension that was building up. “I hate the greater good,” she added with another snort once she’d finished.
If only Diego had another sibling, or his existing one was a bit smarter. If only she and her mate could shut out their consciences and do as thy damn well pleased. So many if onlys. The tall mare snorted and flicked her ears back briefly in annoyance. “Why can’t life just be easy? Well, no, life is easy but not that sort of easy. Why can’t it be easy to find a way out of pleasantville and do as we like again? Some of the best days of my life were ones I spent out on my own trying to keep away from you, no offense, and I get the feeling that you were happier when you were out roaming too.”
This was the sort of thing she usually tried not to think about. Usually she could just about drift through her days, but when she remembered exploring D’on, seeing Qurine for the first time, running as fast as she pleased and not having to worry if she got dirty because there was nobody there to mutter she felt the familiar cloud of bitterness and longing settle over her. That freedom, that was what she’d been made for. When had she given up fighting for it?
If she wasn’t careful she’d soon forget that feeling all together and become just a soft herd mare who occasionally dreamed of galloping along a beach with nowhere in particular to go and nothing expected of her. That would surely be a fate worse than death, and yet how was she to avoid it? Right now such a fading seemed as inexorable as the rise and fall of the sun. If things went on like this it was just a matter of time before she became s pleasant as her life and surroundings were.
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:38 am
Diego snorted and puffed up the feathers of his wings before giving the wide appendages a few solid flaps. “The greater good stinks worse than Carris drek,” he said firmly. “You’re right, too, I was happy out there wandering the world and do what I chose to do whenever I chose to do it. Just doesn’t seem fair, but then I suppose life never is, is it?” If it was, he would no doubt be suffering a lot more than he currently was for the evils of his youth. Still, unfair somewhat in his favor though things probably were he couldn’t find it in himself to be happy about that. Always had been an ungrateful little b*****d.
“I suppose we need a different plan then,” the blue-eyed stallion said with a shake of his head. “Like you say, we can’t just run off and not come back, but I myself don’t really feel that I can stay here, either. It’s so stifling, and now that I’ve started talking about it I can’t ignore it anymore. We have to do something. We have to make a change. We have to find some way... some way to be ourselves. We can’t go on like this.”
If they did, he might find himself slipping back into old cruelties in his bitterness at life in general. he didn’t want to be that person, didn’t want to set that as an example to his children. Sure they were young adults now but still, even if they were unlikely to emulate him he didn’t want them to see that side of him, not ever. They had to do something. He had to do something. Soon.
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:51 am
Bastet rustled her wings and scowled before beginning to pace back and forth. “Right,” she nodded her head, “a plan.” She’d come up with many of those only to toss them aside, but Diego hadn’t been at her back then. If he too now wanted a way out, he taken his damn time to decide that, then it might just work.
There were things they could do as a pair, a couple, that wouldn’t look quite right if either did it alone. If she did it alone at any rate, and she wasn’t about to get left behind on this one. Diego’s position as trusted second son opened up many more paths than were available to the mate of said second son who almost hadn’t turned up for her own binding ceremony.
“So, what do we need?” the gold hooved mare asked rhetorically. “We need a way to get out of here regularly, but in a way that will look good to the herd. So. How do we do that then? I don’t think we could get away with deciding to become border guards or scouts or anything of the sort. Who else leaves the herd regularly for reasonably long periods of time?” This time it was a real question, and as such the striped mare turned to her mate and shrugged her wings. “Any ideas?”
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:01 am
For some moments Diego was silent, his mind running through possibilities. Most of them were mad, stupid or both, but one of them cause a slow grin to spread across his face. “Diplomats,” he said, turning his attention to Bastet, “or something similar at any rate. My brother needs a mate, but does father have the time or the energy to seek on out? Indeed he does not, and who else could he possibly entrust this task to? Why only me.”
The sleek Jala frowned and took up the pacing that Bastet had left off as the idea began to take shape in his mind. “There isn’t much day to day running of this place to do really, between my brother and my father they could manage it just fine. You and I meanwhile trawl herds near and far for a suitable Jala mare for my brother. When we find her, of course, we would return and stay here for a time, but there are always more advantageous alliances to make through bonding a mare and a stallion and through other means. Again, a trustworthy Nequus would be needed to see to such things, ie you, me or both of us together.”
Flicking his ears thoughtfully, Diego came to a halt once more and looked thoughtfully at his hooves. “Once trie is gone we couldn’t really leave together, while I wasn’t here I’d need you to run things really, but the point is that both of us could get out and about regularly. We’d get a bit of space to have our own lives, to do things as we chose and to have time away from each other, from duties and all the rest of it...” Now grinning again, the golden stallion turned his attention back to his mate. “Well, what do you think?” He personally thought it was a stroke of genius, but it would be nice to hear the same sentiment from Bastet too.
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:21 am
Bastet blinked. “Y’ know,” she said slowly, a grin coming to her face too, “that might actually work. I mean if your father agrees we could get away tomorrow and be gone for as long as it takes to find the right mare. After that we could go a different times so like you say there’s one of us here the whole time and whoever’s gone can just do as they please without worrying about boring the other to death... I think this might actually work.”
Still grinning, the gold-eyed mare pranced over to her mate like a playful filly and nipped him lightly on the neck. “Nice going there golden-boy,” she laughed as she danced back out of reach, “you actually did something useful.” Tomorrow. if everything went well she might be leaving this drek-heap behind tomorrow! Sure she’d have to come back, but not forever. Never forever. Her freedom, she could have her freedom back and gallop across strange plains and talk to strange people and... everything.
Grin softening to a smile, the striped Jala trotted back to Diego’s side to nuzzle at the spot she’d nipped. “Y’ know, of all the stallions I could have got stuck with, I’m glad it was you.” She was. At least she could love him as a friend, and respect his sharp mind. Thank Gods he was as restless as she, had he been anyone else such a chance would probably never have come to her. Freedom again. She could practically smell it.
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:29 am
As Bastet came close to nudge him, Diego snorted and lent up to n** her lightly on the ear. “Well thank you, glad you know you appreciate the wonder that is me.” His mate laughed at that and tried to n** him again, but the golden stallion hopped back out of reach chuckling softly at how the pair of them were behaving. “Now now,” he said, deflecting her next attempted n** with a flap of his wings in her face, “we don’t want to go and see trie all covered in n** marks, now do we? He’ll think we’ve cracked and then he’ll never say yes.”
He was mostly joking there though; it was a good plan from everyone’s point of view, and he didn’t need to mention to the old stallion why it had come to him. Estavan would be happier not knowing of his discontentment.
“Well come on then,” the blue-eyed Jala went on with a smirk to his mate, “let’s go and offer our services right away shall we; we can’t start sooner than now after all.” So saying, Diego turned his face to the center of the herdlands and set off at a brisk trot, trusting his mate to follow after him toward the end of pleasantness. Sometimes, he considered with a grin, he even amazed himself with his brilliance.
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