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 Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:58 pm
AIM Log -- Felyn & DFA
Anana & Nuka It was common for her, these walks, these strolls out into the empty lands that surrounded whatever encampment her father had chosen for the night. She loved him dearly, but his companionship only reminded her all the more of the secret one she had lost. No, not lost, forced away for the sake of saving. Her father suspected nothing of her heart break, but how could he when he had never known that her heart was in risk of breaking in the first place? No, it was in her time alone that Anana felt most at peace, when she could think clearly and remind herself that it had all been worth it. A selfless act, though it seemed selfish and ridiculous to anyone but her. And by anyone, that simply meant him.
She stared down at the stripes of her paws as she walked through the dusky gold savannah grass, her teal eyes concentrating upon the earth that crumbled beneath her paws. It wasn't hard to guess that she missed him terribly, but she didn't regret it, not for a moment. The facade that she displayed for her father, keeping the same face she had all along, was wearisome. Alone, she could show the wear of her lonesomeness and not have to think twice about it. It had been a terrible sacrifice, but she couldn't risk letting him come to harm. She had told him all along how foul her father could be, she supposed he just never bothered to listen.
She sighed aloud and stopped her steps, glancing up at the sky with a face full of irritation. She could replay thay day, the events leading up to it all that she wanted, but she had done it and it was over with. She hoped, with time, she would eventually quit thinking of him - get him out of her head - but so far it had proved a failed effort. It hurt. It hurt like a b***h.
That was the only thing that seemed to repeat within Nukpana's mind, over and over again, like a mental mantra of sorts. The thought was only interrupted each time he placed a paw on the ground to walk, forcing a hiss out of his mouth, through gritted teeth, and for the upteenth time that day, the male found himself berating his own actions; he was a bloody, ******** idiot. Then, the thoughts would circle again into how much it hurt, and he was going to faint from the pain soon if he didn't do something.
Of course, had he been thinking that battling an adult male lion would be a stroll around the park? But the moment he'd noticed the beast was heading towards Anana and her father (no doubt Uovu had done something or other to set the beast off in the first place), instint had overriden common sense and he'd set out to protect what he deemed most important to him. Now that he'd managed to run the beast away (at the expense of his own body - it showed multiple gashes, cuts, was bloodied and he felt like HELL), he was starting to ponder the wisdom of his own actions. If he was torn to shreds as he was at the moment, he couldn't posibly protect her from further attacks, no could he?
He'd not thought of that while he'd been trying to drive the beast away though. Needless to say, Nuka had never been the sharpest tool in the shed; he allowed his emotions and instincts to rule him. Raw emotion rules him... it was that same raw emotion that kept him lingering around Anana, even though she didn't even want him there, "b***h," he hissed, even if there was no venom in the word, "********, ********, ********, ********, ******** hell," he gasped at the last sylable as he collapsed on the ground, bloodied, torn and battered.She frowned lightly to herself as she stood there, her eyes staring up at the clouds overhead. She could almost hear his curses, his cries, could almost imagine his face when she left. It wasn't until a moment later, however, that she realized she was actually hearing curses and cries. Her teal eyes blinked and turned to look around her, ears swivelling as she listened harder. It was him, she was sure of it. All at once her heart leapt and anger throbbed. She had told the b*****d to leave, hadn't she?
She turned in the direction she heard the noise, her face as stoic as she could possibly force it to be, though inside she was torn between being enraged and being happy. If he had chosen to stick around after she told him to leave, then she had put herself through all of this for nothing, and he was more stubborn than she had ever imagined. As she came upon him, however, she paused, eyes widening despite her best attempt to stop them from doing so.
He was hurt.
All the anger she had felt dimmed and for a solitary moment, all she felt was a surge of pity. Then, of course, she realized that he wouldn't have been harmed at all if he wasn't around her to get hurt. Her face faded back into a stern mask, and with a bit of a silent curse to herself, she forced herself to walk calmly in his direction. She had told him she wouldn't be here the next time he got hurt, but damn it if she couldn't help it.
"You look like you've gotten yourself into another fine mess," she said calmly, pausing a few feet away from him, calm as she could manage though her heart grew heavy with every new injury she noticed upon his figure at this closer distance. Her scent drifted towards him, and his clear eyes widened in distress; he willed his body to move, to get up and allow him to leave the place inmediately least she find him there. However, of course, things were not meant to be that easy, and not only could Nuka not manage to move himself from the spot he'd slumped on, but he swiftly noticed Anana's figure padding nearer.
His mind alternated from cursing to pain to bellowing 'shitshithishtihdfgds' over and over again; he'd been spotted and there was nothing he could do about it. Not only that, but he had no real excuse to be there. Granted, he could tell her the truth of why he was there to begin with, but something at the back of his mind refused to allow him to do such a thing; swallowing his feelings, he hardened his face as the female approached, "No s**t," he told her calmly. Or rather, tried to, for no sooner had he gotten through the two words that Nukpana errupted into fits of cough. He spat the blood he'd hacked up along the way on the ground and offered her a glare, as if daring her to make a wise crack about the situation.
She didn't care. She'd never cared for him, and had told him to leave; it served him right, really. He'd refused to leave and had refused to get on with his life, wishing for something that was always just beyond reach... just byond grasp for him to achieve, "I'm fine," he gasped as he forced himself up to sit; it was clear he was not however, "Just... leave me alone, b***h, why would you care?!"She deserved those words, deserved them all and more. Inside, it felt like a stab to her heart, but she forced herself to remain calm no matter what he said. Everything she had done for him would be for not if she cracked now and gave in. She could help him and tell him to leave for good this time, she could - she was strong, she knew she could do this. Or at least, that's what she kept telling herself. As strong as she had ever been, the sight of him like this made her quiver inside.
"You're not fine, quit being stubborn," she said with a bit of a sigh, moving closer and leaning in to examine the damage that had been done. Her face hardened as she looked, especially when she had to step around the blood he had hacked upon the ground. Outwardly she appeared stoney, almost angry with him for doing something so stupid, and while inside she was angry, most of her emotions seemed to be ridden over by pure worry and fear. He was stupid, truly and utterly stupid.
"What in the world did you do, Nuka?" she asked with a sigh, pausing in front of him, almost appearing to be irritated with him. She'd have to get him to a watering hole and clean him up, despite his bitching about not wanting her around. She could pretend all she wanted that she didn't care, but walking off and leaving him was truly out of the question.
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:01 pm
"I fought a ******** beast of a lion; not like YOU should care," why he'd do such a suicidal thing, however, was beyond all reason. It was true Nuka had never been the sharpest tool in the shed, however, it must've been noticeable (at least to Anana, whom had spent so much time with him), that the male had survival instincts. He was a survivor; his whole stance had always screamed of it, so thus, why would he have tossed himself willingly into a fight he knew he was going to get the lossing end out of? "Bloody a*****e kept on charging back, wouldn't give up!"
The lion had been enraged at having a cheetah stand in it's way. In the end, though the lion had battered him up, Nuka had dealed just enough damage (barely enough) to cause the beast to retreat and think it had better things to do than lose his time like that. Of course, it was the fact the beast seemed to intent on reaching Uovu (and Anana, just by asociation) that had forced Nuka up, again and again, to face the beast, "Kept coming back, but I refused to let him pass, so he got ******** angry," as the female walked around him, Nuka allowed himself to growl; there was no warning in the sound though. She was likely one of few creatures he'd never lay a claw on, even when provoqued, "I know why /I/ care, but why do YOU care?" he was lossing blood fast, and it was no doubt the loss of blood that was allowing him to talk as such, "Don't TOUCH me!"
"A lion, Nuka?" she said, her eyes narrowing on him in perhaps the first display of true emotion. The more he talked, the angrier she was getting, the more upset she was getting. He seemed to have put himself in danger for nothing, done something stupid for nothing, and that was entirely unlike him. "Why in the world would you fight a lion? You're not stupid, that's a battle you asked to lose!" She stood there, watching him for a moment, in a way that demanded an answer.
However, as he began shouting at her again, she gritted her teeth and simply shook her head. "I'm not just going to leave you here to bleed to death," she said, a touch less believable than she'd have liked, but mostly flawless. She wasn't sure if he'd even notice with how much blood he was losing right then. She glanced up, into the distance, as if she were judging something, and then looked back at him. "Get up, we have to get to the watering hole," she said finally, moving over to nudge him with her nose. She intended to support him all the way there, even though it wasn't that far. Damn it all, but she was worried now, and in the pit of her stomach she was starting to wonder if his injuries were something he would come back from easily or not.
"A bloody ******** LION, yes!!" he snapped right back at her, his eyes ablaze; he'd have battled a damned rhino if it'd meant to hurt her, too. He wasn't about to tell her that much though. Not yet anyhow; for as long as his slugged, feverish mind could help it-
And then, she opened her mouth and spoke again and something within him snapped. There was perhaps even an audiable click as he stood up as far as he could, shoving his bloodied face at her, "BECAUSE IT WAS GOING AFTER YOU, YOU ******** IDIOT!!" it was bellowed at her, his frame shaking from rage; it wasn't directed at her though, but rather, at the lion he'd barely just survived against... at the world for even thinking of hurting her, and at himself, for not having pondered things through further. Now he was useless, battered and the brute of a beast could be back any day to attempt a second attack. He was an idiot.
But then again, this was no new news to him.
"Don't TOUCH me!" it was hissed a second time, even as he managed to support his own weight, "Don't touch me..." mostly because if she touched him, he knew he was going to lose control of himself. He'd gone without seeing her for so long, and so far, and now, here she was, fussing over him, albeit still trying to mask it, "Don't ******** touch me, I'll walk."
She had opened her mouth to say something to him, but as soon as he yelled at her, her mind went blank and she simply.. forgot. He had been protecting her? All those bruises and scrapes because he was protecting her from an enemy she had never seen, never laid eyes upon. That meant he had saved her, done what he had intended, and if she had never found him here he would have stayed her silent protector.
She paused as he got up, hearing his words but unable to comprehend anything. Here she was trying to save him from harm, and he was right back to putting himself into it. Her heart was thudding, thumping in her throat, constricting her air and she was sure any second now she was going to start crying. She stared at the ground for a long moment, forced herself to take a deep breath, and steadied her facade. This was for the best, wasn't it? She was right when she pushed him away, when she made him leave?
"You can barely stand up," she said weakly, forcing herself to look back up at him, though she was obviously weaker now. He was hurt because of her, and it meant everything she had done had been a waste. "You need my help, so quit being stubborn," she muttered, gazing at him, but managing to avoid looking him in the eyes, even as she drew nearer to him. She didn't think he'd be able to walk there alone - he needed her help.
Had she asked him there and then, he'd have told her she was an idiot and that he wasn't leaving, even if she told him to. Of course, his actions spoke louder than such words though, for he'd demonstrated he'd not only stayed but had been looking after her all this time. It'd been an exhausting task, needless to say, for not even Anana could keep her gaze on Uovu all the time; the amount of trouble that male got himself into was spectacular. Granted, before the large brute of a lion had come by... Nuka had notice less and less trouble, and had begun to wonder if the girl's father was ocupied doing something ... else.
It didn't matter now though, because she'd caught him, and she was here, and she was a stubburn, stubburn idiot, who kept insisting on coming closer to help him. Nuka's eyes widened, then darkened, his maw pulling back into a warning snarl that remain silent. Granted, once again, there was no real threat for her there, and it was all just for show, "Don't-don..." his words died in a hiss as he stumbled due to an injury, managing only just barely catch himself before he fell down on the ground once more. Lifting his gaze up to her, he issued one last silent warning for her not to touch him; if she did not heed it, he was not going to keep himself back from doing what it was he'd been wishing to do for so long now.
It was probably his ferverish mind allowing him to think like that though, "You're the stubborn one..."
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:03 pm
Anana knew that her father had been preoccupied with something else, with someone else, and that was why she had so much spare time on her paws as it was. Her father was caught between deciding if he liked or despised a female that had come into his life, and though it was a relief, it meant that she would soon be in the very position she had always wanted. She would no longer have to worry over him, and she would be free to do (mostly) as she pleased. It was what she had originally wanted Nuka for, but she had had to let him go too soon. It was still too soon.
"Quit that," she said irritatedly at his growling, knowing that even if he meant it, there was little chance he could do her much harm at all in the condition he was in at the moment. She simply gave him a bit of a growl in return and moved over to him finally, pushing against the side of him that seemed least stable. She was hoping he'd quit being an idiot and just lean on her like she intended. How was she to know he didn't want her to touch him for any reason other than his own pride?
That had been, needless to say, the last warning he'd issued. He simply didn't have the mind, heart, or strength, for that matter, to push forth another one. So thus, he watched silently through narrowed eyes as she approached him, using that attitude of hers that he'd come to both love and despise; as if she knew better than anyone else when truly, she didn't. She didn't know; couldn't even begin to phantom what went through his head when she came near.
The moment her shoulder came in contact with him though, the male moved, swiftly as lightning, with strength that seemed almost imposible he'd have after having lost so much blood. Rather than growl, the sound that passed through him was almost reminiscent of a purr; something lighter, and not meant to threaten as he turned on her, using his body to pin her to the ground, hie head nuzzling the side of her neck. Though the movement was swift, and perhaps just a bit wild, almost desperate in nature, as if he'd already resigned himself to the fact this was the only moment of gratification he was going to get, and once it was over, all would have endded, it did not harm her. There was no real force to hold her in place after the momentum of his turn had been over, and she could've pushed him off any çmoment, "You ******** idiot," he told her, his voice lost somewhere between a growl, a whine and a moan, "I told you not to touch me!"
She was certainly surprised as he pushed her to the ground, her eyes widening as she got lost in the confusion of the moment. She didn't once fear that he would do anything to harm her, but what his intentions were seemed lost upon her regardless. It wasn't until she was pinned, stuck beneath his injured and bleeding body and subject to that frantic display of affection that she realized what his warnings had been for. He was not being proud for once, he had had a general reason to tell her to stay away.
After he had stopped, she leaned her head back against the earth, shutting her eyes against the site of him. She heard his words, and they too only added to the stab she felt in her heart. She had known, all along she had known that he had feelings for her, but she had thought she stopped them before things got too far. She was wrong, so terribly wrong, and she ached as desperately now as she ever had over what she had done.
"You're the idiot," she said in a voice that was so much weaker than she had intended, broken as she felt the tears pouring out of her eyes to stain her fur, "you just can't do what I ask you, can you? I told you to leave, but you had to stay." She knew her emotions were showing, flooding out, and she didn't even care any longer. "He'll kill you," she managed, finally, in a broken whisper.
As far as he'd been aware, Anana not only did not feel even a smidgeon of... well, anything, for him, but pretty much had wanted him gone. That's what she'd said, at least, and after all, Nuka had never quite been all that good thinking. Thinking, sadly, had never been his thing; when he tried it, he was prone to adding two and two and somehow getting two hundred. Needless to say, it was a futile effort at best. So thus, telling her not to touch him had been indeed for a reason; as far as he was aware, the girl was now most likely to shove him off, stick her nose tartly up in the air and pretty much walk for the hills. She wouldn't run. Anana didn't run. She'd walk away, the b***h.
A snort of breath was released; the fact she'd not shoved him off was clouding his brain into second gear, making it even more difficult to rationalise, "Who the hell'd ever listen to you anyhow..." it wasn't even banter, his voice was so drained; it was likely he'd just drained out what little energy he had in performing the stunt, "Couldn't leave anyhow, felt like it was ripping me in two. All your ******** fault. Who the hell told YOU to come into my life that day. I was doing just fin, hating everyone. And in you come and turn my bloody world upside down, you b***h, gods, I hate you so much," the fact he was still nuzzling her neck as if she were a lifeline greatly betrayed his words though; it was the actions that spoke the truth. Words lied... actions usualy did not.
Nuka was taking in as much of the moment as he could, registering into his mind; thus, her last few words found him sniffling her neck, as if to engrave her scent into his mind. The breath of air he was holding was released in a dry, humourless chuckle that was just short of sounding pathetic, "You already did; he can't do s**t."
Listening to him made her heart clench, the tears coming faster as she did so. He could say he hated her all he wanted, but everything he was saying and doing was showing her the opposite of that right now. It hurt, to be so close to him, to know she had sent him away to avoid this and he'd found a way to force her into it regardless. She had sacrificed her heart, lived for weeks now in the pain of giving him up, and here he was doing this.
"I did it for a good reason," she choked out, still unable to stop the tears from flowing. They had been building for weeks, ever since she had walked out on him that day, and she wasn't sure she could have stopped them at all now that they had started. "How do you think I would feel if my father murdered the one sorry fool I fell in love with? It was fine, I was perfectly happy with you being around until you had to be an idiot and show me that you had feelings for me."
Maybe he was just too slow to realize it, or perhaps her act had been too good up until this point, but she doubted she hurt any less than he did for being away from him. She leaned into his nuzzling despite it all, despite her brain crying out for her not to, the salt of her tears no doubt staining his own fur. "I trusted you to be the one a** not to do that to me, Nuka."
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:06 pm
"Good reason, good reason!" the words were snapped, even when his voice did not hold much force to it, "Did you ever even pause to concider what /I/ wanted, or what /I/ thought?! I mean, I know I'm not all that much for the thinking, but still! Why couldn't you have asked ME, you selfish, selfish, heartless b***h," there was frustration in his words; after all, he'd grown up in a place where he'd not mattered as an individual. His parents couldn't have cared less for him, had not asked him what he wanted, or what he wished for. He'd been given a name, a life and then tossed out into the world, head first.
The purring sound had not even so much as retreated, even throughout the whole ordeal; it didn't seem to matter that they were yelling at eachother. Nuka's body and heart, both, seemed rather pleased they were finally where they wished to be. It was hardly surprising that he finaly leaned his head up and began to lick her tears away, even as he argued with her, "I don't care, I don't care, I don't CARE!" he told her between licks, accentuating each one with a word, "WHY didn't you ask ME what I wanted? Why did you decide, all on your ******** lonesome how you were going to resolve the whole thing? Didn't you pause to think that maybe, just maybe, being away from you was worse than facing death? God help me, I'm a lunatic."
His mind, slow as it was, was finally starting to register her words to him. It was right about then he stopped mid lick, looked horribly, almost comicaly confused, and then dipped his head to hide it against her pelt, trembling.
"No, I didn't," she said, opening her eyes to look up at him, her voice trembling both from pain and anger now. She knew most of his words were out of anger, out his own pain, but it still didn't make it any easier to hear him call her a heartless b***h. She had done it for him, she had walked away from him with tears in her eyes, turned her back on him when all she ever wanted was to be with him. Nothing she had done was selfish or heartless, it had been for him, even if he thought it would have been easier to take.
"Maybe I knew you'd choose to stay with me instead, you imbecile," she countered, shutting her eyes again as she felt him licking away her tears. She knew even this was dangerous - she was going to come home with his scent all over her, and here he was, already injured. She could be killing him now, for all she knew. The simple thought made the tears come again, unbidden. "Maybe you might think it was worse, but at least I could rest at night knowing you were safe somewhere away from him." She had to hope now that the female was enough to keep her father occupied, to keep him away from Nuka - there was nothing she could do to save him now.
That's when she felt him trembling, saw the look of confusion on his face, and knew he had finally registered what she was saying to him. She swallowed, burrying her face against his neck, her eyes shut tightly. "You're stupid," she whispered, despite the affection seeping into her voice, "I can't do anything now, you stupid, stupid fool."
He wasn't crying. He wasn't laughing; he was simply trembling. It should his frame, from the end of his whiskers, to the tip of his tail. All in all, it must've been a sight to see, for someone as physicaly strong as Nuka to have broken down with just a bit of innocent, unadultured touch and a few words. Regardless, there was no denying that was what had just happened; he'd broken down. There were no tears, true, but the emotions were there, and the result was the same, "It's my choice to be an imbicile if I want to... it's my choice. Mine," the last word was accentuated by a small, almost possesive growl as he finally untucked his head from her neck and groom at her face, where the tears still trailed down.
She was right though, on a few things; right now he was in danger and he knew it. On normal circumstances he didn't fear Uovu, but right now... well, all it'd have taken to end him would've been a cub's wrath. Even if thinking was not his forte, evaluating his chances of survival and figuring out his physical needs, in fact, were. That had been how he'd started to notice he'd fallen in love with Anana, after all; at first it'd only been a physical urge which had swiftly registered in his mind. He could hardly be blamed though; he'd not come in contact with any desireable female in long, if ever. He'd pushed them all away. The feelings had grown from there till he'd thought he'd gone crazy.
"Ain't that the kettle callin' the pot black, right there," a coughing fit hit him again, forcing his head away from her. With much effort, he rolled away from her warmth though, "Where's that bloody water of yours? Help me there... help me with my wounds, then take a bath in it and go back with him. I'll be fine," so long she took that bath, the scents would be gone. He'd face the psyco when he'd healed. Hell, he could even already feel himself healing all over, so powerful had that one word she'd offered him been.
She had never cared if he had been afraid of her father or not, she had never wanted it to come to them fighting, for one of them would have ended up injured. She loved Nuka, but as cruel as her father was, she loved him too. He was all she had had in the world, for a long time, and even if he thought he deserved the choice at that time she knew what she had done was for the best. Maybe they had a chance now, now that her father had found a female all on his own. Just maybe.
Her eyes widened as he began to cough up blood, and the guilt of his injuries came rushing back to her. She was up and at his side quickly, ignoring the fact that many of his wounds had left blood on her own fur. She moved to his side so that he could lean against her, and let her eyes drift to the direction she had originally been trying to steer him before everything happened. "That way," she said quietly, though her mind was busy thinking.
"I'm not going home tonight," she said finally, her face calming, hiding her worry for him. She refused to let him see it, out of fear of injuring his pride and making the situation worse than it already was. "I'm staying with you, and I don't care what you say, you need me," she wouldn't have left him in this condition for the world. Her father would be occupied with his lady and wouldn't miss her terribly for one night.
He seemed torn.
Torn between telling her to get away and telling her to YES, please stay. Honestly, he wasn't going to heal any with her around and the urge to keep rubbing his head against her like she was some sort of... well, he didn't even have a word in his vocabulary to use. Then again, at the same time, he couldn't have cared less about his ow injuries because this had to be heaven.
This had to mean he was fated to die, and he was being allowed just a few moments to tast the proverbial heaven before leaving, right? Wisely, he chose to keep his mouth shut and instead leaned his frame against her for support as they walked, making a small grunting sound at her claim, not quite trusting his voice. That much was visible to her though, for the male kept swallowing down saliva, "He comes looking, you run away," he murmured, then allowed her to carry him onward. Interesting how he seemed to be okay with her practicaly carrying him and tending and fussing over him all night, where his pride wouldn't have allowed that only days before. It was a wonder what well placed words could do, "Don't hate you," he said suddenly, "Not really... what I hate, is that I love you."
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:07 pm
She knew that if her father came looking and found them together, it woudl most definitely mean the end of Nuka, but if she went back tonight she would be worrying over him and wasn't sure she'd be able to hide that on top of everything else right now. He would know something if he saw her now. "I know what to do," she said in that haughty tone that befit her so well, trying her hardest to be herself as best as possible. She wanted to be strong right now, needed to. This was no time for her to go and act like a love-sick fool.
Despite his words, she actually smiled at what he said, shifting slightly as she walked to better support his weight. The heartless b*****d had fallen for the female that had blackmailed him, the b***h he had sworn to hate, and he had fallen hard. After a moment, she simply nodded, glancing up at him quickly before gazing ahead once more. "I know, Nuka," she said softly, "I love you too."
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