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 Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:35 am
Yeah that's how it is for me now...
The man I have is a very sweet guy and is actually going to take of me..
And this kind of was an accident..
He proposed and then one thing led to another..
Heh..
I'm only about 10-11 weeks along,
But It's really hard sometimes...
Some of my friends are treating me like crap..
I am really against abortion,
But every know and then it passes through my head..
What should I do when that feeling comes along?
I mean my dad kicked me out of my own house because of it.
And he won't let me go see anyone in my family because of it either.
It really hurts...
Any advice guys 3: ?
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:05 am
My first piece of advice would be to be twice as diligent as before when it comes to regiments and schedules. If you're in school, continue studying. If you're still working, be twice as reliable and twice as willing to help (keeping your own well-being in mind).
My second piece of advice would be to completely disregard your "Father" and instead go see your family, at least, let them know of the good news. If they accept you, more power and help to you and if they don't, you can make your own decisions.
There is better advice but people much more qualified in your real life should be giving it to you such as things to keep in mind about your health and stress levels. Also, if you're serious about staying together with your boyfriend, treat the relationships seriously. Start to talk our your difference, start to treasure the good moments and learn how to savor them, and repeat them.
You'll have to do a little growing up now. But, your maturity in a few years will set you apart from other people your age. Finally, your strength as a mother will be a model for your child and, from what I have studied, the virtue you imbue to them will last them a life time.
We'll be here in nine months! Please make yourself at home. heart 3nodding
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:25 am
Thanks.
I would like to go see them,
But some live in Minnesota and I live in Illinois.
And I don't have a mom because she left when I was little.
And my grandma on my dad's side totally hates me.
Her and my father are the only people that know in my family.
She hasn't talked to me since she found out..
And I kind of doomed my high school dreams.
Out of seven classes I only passed my Psych. exam..
I've been trying to keep my stress levels at a minimum but it's so difficult to do.
With my father pulling his crap and then some of my friends pretty much call me a failure and say I'm going to be a horrible mother.
My boyfriend and several of my other friends are the only people who think I'll make a nice mom.
I guess it's just really difficult to keep stress down lately..
It would be nice if people would just be more understanding.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:42 am
xX Umino-Hinata Xx Thanks.
I would like to go see them,
But some live in Minnesota and I live in Illinois.
And I don't have a mom because she left when I was little.
And my grandma on my dad's side totally hates me.
Her and my father are the only people that know in my family.
She hasn't talked to me since she found out..
And I kind of doomed my high school dreams.
Out of seven classes I only passed my Psych. exam..
I've been trying to keep my stress levels at a minimum but it's so difficult to do.
With my father pulling his crap and then some of my friends pretty much call me a failure and say I'm going to be a horrible mother.
My boyfriend and several of my other friends are the only people who think I'll make a nice mom.
I guess it's just really difficult to keep stress down lately..
It would be nice if people would just be more understanding. They may or may not. At times like this, I always wish people could try to salvage their relationships. But family are not friends. The dynamics work very differently. When your "family" gives you s**t like that be honest with them: say " I'm right, you're not." And be on your merry way. Don't let them get you down for doing what you believe is the best moral option. Don't. As for school: It sounds like you need to make a decision. What has been keeping your grades down? Stress? Or do you simply not like school to begin with? In any case, you should make a decision now about your future course of action. Will you persist with school or will you go out into the working world? I highly recommend sticking with education, for as long as possible. It's hard, but statistically and realistically, you will most likely come out better for it in the end. You're going to be working with a lot of negatively down this road but again, just remember the above phrase. It'll all be fine, if you keep a strong head on you. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Anyone can.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:47 am
I never thought of telling them that.
I guess it's just hard to say that kind of stuff to them because its like the onyl family I have left.
But I think it's funny,
Drew, my boyfriend, was saying the same thing about that.
And school?
It was mostly stress..
I was having probably the worst year of school ever.
With everyone bull crap drama and lots of other wonderful things all going on at once I guess I just didn't see my grades plummeting so horribly.
I'm staying in school.
Only one year to go.
Why stop now?
Thanks :3
Your actually helping quite a lot ^ w ^.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 12:59 pm
Hello, sorry that I may not be much help or be able to give a lot of advice (or good advice anyways) since i've never been in a situation like that before but I can try.
You said your father kicked you out? It may suck but you're his daughter, if he cares for you, he should come around. My guess is that he is just upset and didn't know how to handle it and reacted badly.
And if worst comes to worst, you still have your boyfriend who supports you right? So look on the brigt side (that can help).
As for school, that's good that you want to stay and try to finish. You could always get a GED if you have to drop out or fail (people had done that before, I don't know much about it but it's supposed to help people that didn't get their high school diploma to earn it). So there is still hope. Also summer is coming up so you can take a brake, that may help with the stress.
It may be hard but if you try your best, you can always find a way to work things out. As they said "if there is a will, there is way".
I hope everything works out ok. Good luck!
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 4:57 pm
xX Umino-Hinata Xx Yeah that's how it is for me now...
The man I have is a very sweet guy and is actually going to take of me..
And this kind of was an accident..
He proposed and then one thing led to another..
Heh..
I'm only about 10-11 weeks along,
But It's really hard sometimes...
Some of my friends are treating me like crap..
I am really against abortion,
But every know and then it passes through my head..
What should I do when that feeling comes along?
I mean my dad kicked me out of my own house because of it.
And he won't let me go see anyone in my family because of it either.
It really hurts...
Any advice guys 3: ? How could anyone kick you out of theh ouse for such a thing? What an a*****e. Sorry, but you don't need that d**k. Parents are nothing but biology, and if they treat you like that, then they are expendable. They are basically saying "******** you", so I think you have the right to return the favor. As for being productive, I would suggest just keep on going. You areo ne of few people who would put another human being's life in front of your convenience. Don't let them kill that in you.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 7:08 pm
I fully disagree with divine. Technically, it may be biology. But in reality, blood is blood. He raised you, and you grew up with him there; That creates a bond between you. Especially since your mother left ya'll when you were young. He's probably angry, and also confused, and didn't know what to do. He did the wrong thing. But... Mm. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm getting the feeling that your father wasn't a horrible person growing up? sweatdrop
KP's right, for now, don't be around them. I'm sure that once the baby's born their outlook will change. Blood is blood. Grandparents want to see their grandbabies, even if they think their children made a bad decision. Hopefully he'll come to support ya'll eventually.
And you go sweetheart, as far as school goes! You're going to have a new life to take care of pretty soon; Do your best to make sure that both of you, and your boy, are able to live a happy life. ^_^ Good luck to all of you! And we -are- always here to talk and help. 3nodding Just don't listen to divine! >.>
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 7:25 pm
There's probably a counselor of sorts (not a guidance counselor) at your school--if you don't know, just ask a teacher you like. Talk to him/her about your options for school; they may very well go easy on you, academic-wise, if they know you're pregnant. And they can also probably tell you about services for pregnant women like free prenatal care, free counseling or support groups, and adoption if you don't feel you can raise your child or free baby clothes and stuff if you do plan to keep him/her.
If nothing else, there's probably a hotline in your phone book you can call to ask about things like this.
I wish you well and hope your father sees the light; as others have said, he's probably just upset. Other people in your family may be worth talking to, even just over the phone--don't stay away from them just because your father said to. Your boyfriend rocks though! Does his family know? Hopefully they'll be supportive; stick with the people who believe in you! We're all here if you need someone to talk to. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 7:40 pm
Oh! Yeah. That too. xd Definitely don't stay away from family members just because your father wants you to, and stick around people who are supportive. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:08 pm
I.Am I fully disagree with divine. Technically, it may be biology. But in reality, blood is blood. He raised you, and you grew up with him there; That creates a bond between you. Especially since your mother left ya'll when you were young. He's probably angry, and also confused, and didn't know what to do. He did the wrong thing. But... Mm. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm getting the feeling that your father wasn't a horrible person growing up? sweatdrop KP's right, for now, don't be around them. I'm sure that once the baby's born their outlook will change. Blood is blood. Grandparents want to see their grandbabies, even if they think their children made a bad decision. Hopefully he'll come to support ya'll eventually. And you go sweetheart, as far as school goes! You're going to have a new life to take care of pretty soon; Do your best to make sure that both of you, and your boy, are able to live a happy life. ^_^ Good luck to all of you! And we -are- always here to talk and help. 3nodding Just don't listen to divine! >.> I am for individual strength. If your father does that to you, then you don't need him. If he changes his mind, then fine. Blood is nothing, YOU are you, and your father to try and force you into what he wants by threatening you with wellbeing is low and childish.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:26 pm
I agree that it's low and childish, and I'm all about the power of the individual. It's why I'm a capitalist. wink But the point is, no man is an island, and family are attached to you whether you like it or not. So "******** him" is a bad attitude to have about it; Yeah. He made a mistake. He was absolutely wrong. But he's still your father, and he's always going to be connected to you whether you like it or not, so it would be better to eventually find a way to make up with him.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:28 pm
you're going to get what you deserve
and not a penny less
Try and find a school in your area that offers programs or help for teenage parents. Sometimes there are schools that have daycares in them. That's a huge thing, you need to finish your high school at least, because if you don't now it's very unlikely that you will later.
My best friend got pregnant when she was 15, and was kicked out of school. She started going back after about a year and a half, to two years, but after being out of school so long she found it very difficult to get back into and only finished about a year and a half. It can be done, it just takes a lot of effort on your part. Look into governmental programs, see if there's any way you can get welfare, or child benefits as long as you stay in school. etc.
If you are able to get housing, don't break the rules they set. This may seem like a silly suggestion, but my best friend lived in an apartment building specifically for teenage parents and I heard many stories of people getting kicked out because they refused to follow the rules they didn't agree with (ie. no drinking on the premises).
I think the most important advice I can give it to talk to someone who has been in a similar situation. No matter what I say, or what anyone else says we probably haven't been in your situation. We can give you good advice but we don't have to live in your shoes, or deal with the responsibilities that you will have to. Someone who has been in that situation knows better what you can expect, and can help you better on that level.
When my best friend got pregnant she told me that she realized who her real friends were, because they were the ones who stuck around the whole time. While people who she thought were her friends no longer wanted anything to do with her. It's a hard way to learn something like that, but in reality those are people you don't need in your life anyway.
Lastly, if you're having a bad/stressful day and just want someone to talk to I'm sure pretty much everyone who has already posted would be perfectly willing and happy to talk to you and try and help you out as much as possible. If you like I can tell you how to contact the friend I have mentioned, here on Gaia, as I'm sure she'd be perfectly willing to talk to you about her experiences and about your own.
Divine and Andy: This is not the place for you to be bickering, so take it outside.
concrete the natural absurd
only killers call killing progress.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:34 pm
I.Am I agree that it's low and childish, and I'm all about the power of the individual. It's why I'm a capitalist. wink But the point is, no man is an island, and family are attached to you whether you like it or not. So "******** him" is a bad attitude to have about it; Yeah. He made a mistake. He was absolutely wrong. But he's still your father, and he's always going to be connected to you whether you like it or not, so it would be better to eventually find a way to make up with him. Eh, yeah. I say things while implying others that some people don't see. I think I may be too subtle. Yes, of coursego back if he changes his mind, but for the time being, don't take anything he says to heart. He is simply being wrong for the moment, and his acts are childish and idiotic. So until he decides to smarten up, he is nothing. And personal strength is hard to have when you have to buy it from others who will make more profit than the item is worth. blaugh (Had to go there, take it to the thread if you have to) And personally, I don't get the idea of blood being important... I mean, if I were adopted, I honestly wouldn't care. If my biological parents didn't want me, then whatever. If my adoptive parents did, then THEY are the real deal. Care about people based on their actions towards you, not due to biological obligation. White for slightly off topic.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:44 pm
Beware the Jabberwock Divine and Andy: This is not the place for you to be bickering, so take it outside. Sorry; I did realize that immediately before posting my last message, but I felt that neither of us were necessarily wrong, and so there was nothing wrong with us both making our case. I need to work on my argumentativeness, though. sad
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