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 Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 6:48 pm
Hi, I'm the Snypa Rifle...and I'd like to welcome you all to the Assassin's Guide. Apparently, this is the first installment and I'm going to be bringing you people a lot of details of what goes in SWA. I'll address things and people directly.
Mick Foley the Hardcore Hack: Well, I think you're a piece of s**t. You always have been and always will be. I've never liked you since you screwed my good friend Jarel Damone out of a championship in the company that oversees this place. I'm talking about EEW. I don't like you and I sure as hell hated your running buddy, CwP. There's only one way for you to be hardcore since you'd piss your pants if you ever stepped inside a wrestling ring and you know what I'm talking about, you son of a b***h.
Mick Foley taking over SWA: I don't like that you bring your fat a** into my home and kick up dust. I was running things here and all of a sudden you make a surprise entrance and cheat me out of what I was working for. You've brought a war upon yourself and I'm leading the charge. You say if I don't like it, then I can quit? I'd gladly leave this place just so I wouldn't have to deal with you. But that'd be too easy. I mean, you drove EEW into the ground, so now you come here to do the same?
The SWA Championship: So, you want a bunch of matches to prove that someone's worthy of being champion? Fine, I'll play your game and I'll take that gold and put it around my waist as well as shove my size 13 boot up your wrinkled a**!
The SWA Sacrifice Championship: You stripped me of it, Foley, because you know damn well that anyone you pit me against, I'd beat their ******** brains in and wouldn't be satisfied until the arena is filled with the stench of the charred and burning flesh of your lackeys.
Freakshow: A man...no, a b***h. Better yet, how about a b***h with the backbone of a jellyfish? You have no sense of independent thought, so you let Foley brainwash you into thinking that this place will be better with him around.
Laic: An even bigger b***h. Literally. Military vet, prison time, and everything else? I've been in military lockup. Assault with a deadly weapon on my superior. I used to be in the Air Force. I beat my commanding officer with a big-a** rock- permanently broke his jaw and turned his a** into a quadriplegic. So Laic, you're no threat to me. Pissing me off is a bad thing to do, kid. I've beaten down all of Mick's attack dogs in the past. You're just another one fresh out of the pound.
Chris Chaos: I still think you like to gargle with Cartwright's semen. But that doesn't stop me from letting you help me drive Foley out of here. Let's do it. Stand up to this menace.
And I'd like to leave Foley with a little surprise: my SWA contract is iron-clad. You can't do s**t to me nor can you break it. I'd love to read it to you, but I don't have my reading glasses.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 8:22 am
Dear Snypa,
We all know how Foley operates with contracts and such! Aren't you worried that he will find a get-out clause and fire you anyway? I am!
From
Lizzie Heat
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 6:57 pm
Lizzie,
I'm not worried about Foley trying to find a loophole...he can't. The previous owner of this company(yes, I'm explaining the loophole)- signed me to a multi-million lifetime deal with SWA. This means that if there were a time management switched hands, my future in SWA is unaffected because the new owner cannot violate my contract. Furthermore, if Foley were to violate the terms of the contract and fire me...automatic lawsuit for breach of contract...so, yes. It's iron-clad...the only way Mick can get rid of me is if I announce my retirement...and I don't plan on leaving SWA for a very long time...
EEW Television Champion- The Snypa Rifle.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 7:02 pm
Dear Snypa
Thats a whole lot of money! Why do you act so rebellious and anti establishment...Burning offices and all, if you can practically bathe in your money.
Hugh G Rection, Intercourse Pennsylvania
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 12:09 pm
Dear Mr. Erection xd ,
I don't mind having the money to buy my wrestling materials, but the reason I fight is because I don't like certain people trying to come down hard on superstars who have worked so hard to get where they are. I'll give you an example. Are you familiar with Diego Alva?
Snypa Rifle
EEW Television Champion
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 1:40 pm
Dear Snypa,
Even if your contract is as iron-clad as you say it is, and Foley doesn't want to risk a law suit, won't you be hounded out of the company by his bully tactics, screw-jobs and trickery like Jarel Damone in EEW? He'll make your life hell I bet!
From
G.I. Bro
((Going along with The Misfits theme! xd ))
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 4:48 pm
Dear G.I. Bro,
Mick Foley tried to do the same thing to my good friend Atrocity XXX and myself while he had his 50% in EEW. He used his security guards to intimidate us(which was a failure, no one intimidates Bloody Reich), he even tried to screw me out of the Television Championship that I retained. Hell, like I said. Jarel Damone is a good friend of mine.
Bully tactics: My childhood and teenage years were molded on fighting bullies. Sometimes I won, others I got pummeled into defeat by a multitude of pussies afraid to fight fair. Of course, the next day at school I'd come with a Louisville Slugger and Hank Aaron all their asses the next time they tried to ganged up on me. Since then, I've become the bully of bullies. But all in all, in each fight, I'd be standing up for someone weaker than the bully. Like I am for SWA. Foley is the bully and as a bully deserves, I'm gonna slug his fat a** right out of this company. He's made sure he doesn't have to wrestle a former employee, but I'm gonna make his life hell.
G.I. Bro, let me tell you something about bullies. It's like my father taught me. A bully is nothing more than a coward afraid to face someone he knows he can't intimidate. The first time I ran into a bully was when I was six. Two of them. In fact, they were brothers. At day camp, just before my parents came and got me, I kicked the crap out of them both using a Little Tikes baby stroller. I realized my first love for wrestling when I scoop slammed one of the brothers onto a roundtable. In short, you can say-unofficially- that that was my first handicap match and my first hardcore match.
((The above is also a real event. Snypa's background is modeled from my childhood.))
So, no. I'm not afraid. I won't leave SWA, no matter what. I mean, if Foley did that, I could always file a lawsuit for harassment, but this is professional wrestling. All business is settled in the ring! That's something I learned wrestling in high school and like I am in the college I go to. If you've got a problem with a teammate, settle it on the mat. If that doesn't work, take it to the streets or the locker room and slug it out!
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 5:01 pm
Cartwright Dear Snypa, Even if your contract is as iron-clad as you say it is, and Foley doesn't want to risk a law suit, won't you be hounded out of the company by his bully tactics, screw-jobs and trickery like Jarel Damone in EEW? He'll make your life hell I bet! From G.I. Bro ((Going along with The Misfits theme! xd )) (Major Stash is next!)
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 5:53 pm
((Corporal Cajun, Lt. Loco, Major Gunns. xd ))
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 2:56 pm
((I don't remember Corporal Cajun! xd ))
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 3:06 pm
((I think he was the little guy with the blond hair. I was such a mark back then))
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 3:07 pm
Freakshow88 ((I think he was the little guy with the blond hair. I was such a mark back then)) ((Same here! I still can't remember him though! Rection was Hugh Morris, Bro was Booker, Loco was Chavo, Stach was Van Hammer and Major Gunns was some porn star! rofl ))
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 3:55 pm
Cartwright Freakshow88 ((I think he was the little guy with the blond hair. I was such a mark back then)) ((Same here! I still can't remember him though! Rection was Hugh Morris, Bro was Booker, Loco was Chavo, Stach was Van Hammer and Major Gunns was some porn star! rofl )) ((According to wikipedia he was some cruiserweight. I do remember what he looked like, he was pretty talented from what I remember. if he's who im thinking of))
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 4:39 pm
((Lash Leroux.))
Welcome to my second episode of the Assassin's Guide. I'm your Extreme Entertainment Wrestling Television Champion and host, the Snypa Rifle. I'm still your champion after a suicide maneuver that destroyed a legend and myself. Damn, my body still hurts. Anyway, there are new things here to address concerning affairs here in SWA. And I'll get to them.
The match against Shadow: I walked out because I'm smart. I knew as long as Laic was officiating the match, I had no chance of winning, so I did what I had to do: make a preemptive strike and show Foley what I meant when I said that he can bring as many attack dogs to me as he wants, it makes no difference.
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 11:24 am
Dear Snypa
LEAVE NITROUS OXIDE ALONE!!!
Leave him alone! Your lucky he even performs for you bastards! Leave Nitrous alone, he has a debut to make!!! Leave him alone!
Kris Krocker
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