[PRP] An Anxious Mare. {Kai & Nixsi} [Finished]

[-Polar-]

Please do not post; you know the rest. <3

The mare's usually sparkling crystal eyes were rather dull; a glazed and inattentive look in them as her head hung below its usual position and she pawed at the ground with a shaky hoof. She was pacing back and forth every so often, yet she hadn't left that one area for what must have been hours; a noticeable patch of grass flattened in comparison to the other grass in the groove in which she had lethargically wandered to. The mare was unable to process any of her thoughts it seemed; they all simply happened to be jumbled about in her head without any hope of reconciliation. She kept wondering how this all had transpired; she had been steadily gaining weight and it was quite obvious what that meant. However, she couldn't decipher whether or not to be joyful or horrified. In what manner would the stallion that had been involved in such relations with her react when he found out. This question loomed over her head as clear as an effigy; yet the solution was still as intangible as ever. Nixsi wondered if she would even see the stallion again; they didn't cross paths that often. Yet the stallion certainly had expressed before that they had ran into each other more than he would have cared for. The mare released a strangled breath; the bigger question at hand was how to tell the stallion if they did in fact meet again. The frown that adorned her features was terribly out of character for the usually cheerful mare and gave her a haggard appearance. She continued pacing back and forth yet paused every so often when she grew tired; the growing bump in her stomach had matured a great deal and it wore the mare out when she was on her hooves for long amounts of time. Her azure eyes slowly drifted up, dazedly attempting to focus on a nearby tree. Cautiously she meandered over to the base of it, working her way to lay on her side on the ground. It wasn't the most comfortable position yet she figured it would be the most suitable one at the moment given her current circumstance. Nixsi rested her head in the lush green grass that had sprung during the beginning of Spring a few weeks previous. Perhaps she would be able to find some sort of comfort in all of this.  

[Saiyukii]

It had been a long time, that Kai had ventured into the open. For the recent months or so, He had kept to himself along with a few of his friends. At Kail's request, he reluctantly had agreed to stay at a human teepee until the winter had passed. During the time he had been there, The winter had brought many new arrivals including, one that of a basket.

With an admiring glance towards the grass, he was relieved to see that spring was coming back, once again. As much as he liked the winter, It was unsuitable to travel in. Tossing his braided mane back, he wandered over to a small stream nearby. Using his hooves to shift the stones over, he bent his great head down to pick up a small silver and translucent stone.

With a toss of his head, the stone landed with a small splash in the streams, causing ripples to run over the still water. The water's color had turned dark unlike the many others streams flowing with such crystalline transparency. It only indicated that his future was an unpredicted one. "May spring bring many new surprises." He whispered, with a smile as he watched the small stone sink, until it could sink no more.  

[-Polar-]

Nixsi's ears pinned against the back of her head, her eyes tightly shut. A sudden noise had disrupted the serenity that had begun to take hold of the mare. For a few moments she debated whether or not to open her eyes and search for the source of the sound or otherwise keep them as they were and pretend she had heard nothing and perhaps drift off again into a temporary dream-like state. Nixsi decided on the former for two reasons; first because it was more practical and second because she started to feel painful in her current position lying on her side. Begrudgingly the mare sat up, giving a light shake of her head to rid herself of the weary feeling. A slight breeze tossed her light blue mane in the wind. The azure eyes scouted for the source and Nixsi froze in shock when she caught sight of another not to far off in the groove. She was almost certain that it was the stallion of which her thoughts had been previously latched upon. She tilted her head upward trying to get a better view through a few trees. In was indeed Kai; it was obvious from his markings, ones she was rather familiar with from their previous encounters. He hadn't noticed her yet and he was facing with mostly his back towards her; his eyes downcast as he seemed to be studying something. Nixsi frowned wondering what she should do; whether or not to rise to her hooves and wander toward him or to lie low and see if he noticed her. The mare's thoughts were swimming and she found that her body was frozen; unable to move even if she wanted to.  

[Saiyukii]

The rustling sound of another caught his attention, as his ear perked up slightly.. With an inclination of his head, Perhaps it was Kail or some other soquili had come to fetch him? "But it's a doubtful idea as it appears that they don't want themelves known." He commented, after a few moments of waiting.

If that was the case, "Than it certainly leads one to wonder, who else might be here.." He noted with a inquiring glance. The scent spoke of another soquili, but the scent was too faint to determine if it was friend or foe. He could have very well left the intruder alone.. but his instinct told him otherwise. Following Kali's words, He covered the distance with relative ease, as he approached the other soquili.

However, the sight that greeted him was a surprise, although he may have been expecting it to happen. With a friendly smile, and familiar recognition, "It's been a long time." He said, his voice low and soft. He hadn't forgotten that day, nor would he have forgotten such a person.  

[-Polar-]

Apparently Kai had heard her in her flailing to sit up because his ears shifted upon his head and he quickly meandered through the trees to stand near her. Nixsi's mouth opened slightly as she stared at him, somewhat taken aback by him comment. He seemed pleasant for a change upon running into one another. The mare quickly shut her mouth again and nodded her head to him. "Kai." She said, a light and amicable tone to her voice. She waited a few moments unsure what to say next. It seemed as if he has noticed her well.... noticable bump in her stomach; or perhaps he had simply failed to comment on it... Either way the mare was perplexed by the whole situation and she had a strained look upon her delicate features. Staring back up at Kai with her crystal eyes, she felt oddly... Overpowered by him in someway since he was standing there and she was still lying against the base of the tree. She attempted to stand up yet it was a lost cause; it her current position there would be no way to get her feet underneath her stomach and it would appear most unorthodox to the stallion if she used the tree to support her weight as she stood. Giving a defeated sigh the mare continued to lay there; perhaps hormones were what happened to be the cause of the mare's uneasiness and always worried state of mind. Looking up at Kai she pondered asking him for his assistance yet she didn't want to hamper him.  

[Saiyukii]

Pleasant enough? It was more than that. His experiences in the past months had influenced (or perhaps, a better word for it may have been tamed) his temper along with his tongue quite a bit.

Before, he would have found himself avoiding the mare, but as it were now, he was conversing, and politely as well! But the same couldn't be said for .. Nixsi. Rather, she seemed to be a bit speechless. "Not that it wasn't expected." He thought to himself, with a careless grin.

Despite her surprise, She spoke to him with a remarkably light voice that was conveyed in only a single word.

"How have you been doing these days? Not well I suppose?" It was a subtle remark upon her condition. Ignorant or rather unknowing of the mare's condition, he simply thought that she may have been plagued with a sort of illness that she had not recovered sufficiently from... thus her troubles to support herself.

"Do you need any help?" He inquired, with a lightly curious look.  

[-Polar-]

Indeed Nixsi was speechless; Kai's disposition had changed what seemed to be a tremendous amount since their last encounter. She continued to stare up at him; her eyes sparkling in what could only be explained by the word curiosity. Wonder enfolded her mind as she considered what were the things that had brought about this change. Then an idea cause a sensation of dread in her. What if... what if another mare brought about his politely temperament? Nixsi would be heart broken; for she cared deeply for Kai. After all... she was carrying his offspring... how else was she supposed to feel towards the father of her children? Her attention snapped back upon him as he inquired of her well being. "I..." She started but her words faltered. "I've been emotional lately... though that can be expected from the change in hormones." Nixsi was still unsure as to whether or not Kai still hadn't noticed; with her currently pregnant form resting right under his nose. "If you don't mind..." She responded lightly, beaming at the idea of him being around to help her out when she needed. Yet that feeling soon disappeared from the mare as well; knowing how infrequent their meetings were. Somehow both the idea of another mare and the few times they met made Nixsi instantly think that Kai had something with someone else. In the mare's mind that seemed to make sense and she felt tears rising to her eyes; hormones really did have a large effect upon Nixsi's emotions.  

[Saiyukii]

Granted, he was a bit puzzled by the array of emotions that crossed Nixsi's face, but he didn't think much of it.

Females, he found, tended to be a bit odd in that aspect. Their thinking process was complicated, if not somewhat tedious at times.. But he refrained from saying so.

"If I minded, I would hadn't have bothered to ask, isn't that right?" He replied to her words with friendly sarcasm, as he helped the mare to her feet. With her petite frame, he hardy noticed the weight of the mare. To a stallion of his size, a mare with such proportions was as light as a feather.

Rasing an eyebrow at her strange words, "Raging hormones?" He commented with a questioning yet amused tone. ".. Don't tell me that you found someone else already." He teased, with sparkling eyes. It was understandable that she may have found someone else already.. There were stallions out there that were honest, and kind.

"A perfect couple perhaps." He relected with a smile. But the thought also brought his spirits down a bit. "Although I admit, it's a bit unexpected." He thought to himself with a rueful look.  

[-Polar-]

Nixsi frowned but it quickly passed and she gave a slight nod to him. "That does seem to make sense." She added in an airy tone as she leaned against him to help support her weight as she rose shakily to her hooves. "Yes." The mare nodded. "It is expected though in my condition that hormones would have an effect my disposition among other things..."

Nixsi simply stared blankly at Kai; failing to see what her being with someone else had to do with the situation or what would have made him ask her such a bizarre question. The mare failed to notice the signs that he was joking and she replied in a serious manner. "I have not found someone else, and I have never once considered it in the slightest." After Nixsi had told Kai just how much she cared for him; how could he for one second think that should we seek another stallion. Sure her relationship with Kai is unorthodox, but that didn't change her feelings towards him.

She was even more confused by his next statement. Was he referring to himself and Nixsi as a perfect couple; or her and this other stallion he seemed to have let his imagination place her with. Was he still so naive as to not notice her protruding stomach and the hormones which she had already stated were effecting her? Tears began to well up in the mare's eyes as her cursed hormones overtook her and she couldn't bare it any longer. Through clenched teeth she quietly asked, "Would it be even more unexpected if I told you that I was pregnant?"  

[Saiyukii]

Feeling as if he were missing something from the picture, Kai's brows creased down as he gave the mare a slightly perplexed look. But he kept his word on the matter, as he could only assume that these raging hormones she was talking about, were perhaps the ferocious feelings for another.

.. At least.. that was how he interpreted such words. Was he wrong?

Perhaps he had only been joking, Nixsi had taken him quite seriously. The earnesty of her words was a little more than he could bear, saddling him with conflicting emotions. "Nixsi.. Haven't we already gone over this?" He said with a soft tone, as he gave her a wary look. "It's not pos-"

But his words were quickly cut off, as he came to the realization of her words. ""Would it be even more unexpected it I told you that I was pregnant?" Her angry words flashing repeatedly throughout his head. Suddenly the pieces that had not fit before, suddenly fell into place. As if it were a puzzle, that he had suddenly made sense of.

With those words, his disposition underwent a sudden change. Not to say that it was a pleasant one. Turning his back to the mare, with his eyes closed in thought.. "You say it's mine..?" He said, with a surprisingly controlled voice, that was like ice.  

[-Polar-]

"What have we gone over Kai?" Her was exasperated and frustrated, unable to recall what exactly the stallion was on about. His next sentence was cut short as he seemed to grasp her words. He turned his back to her and a tear streamed down Nixsi's pale face. She didn't know if it was from frustration and anger or the feeling of pain it suddenly brought her when he turned away. She felt shunned in a time when she needed him most. "You say it's mine?", echoed through her ears; his demeanor had seemed instantly to revert back to his old one in an instant. Although most wouldn't have caught on since the only thing that really changed was his tone; but Nixsi knew him well and caught on right away. She took a few timid steps toward him; wanting nothing more than to muzzle again his side and stand with her head resting upon his shoulder. "It's yours." She informed him; wondering if it would be a positive or negative thing now that he knew. The mare wanted to tell Kai that he was the only stallion there had ever been for her; that she cared about him deeply... Maybe she loved him even. All her thoughts were jumbled together and her emotions were being pushed and pulling by the hormones. She wanted to be able to say more to Kai...  

[Saiyukii]

It was true. She did know him well enough. And he knew her well enough, to know that she certainly wasn't lying about this issue.

Pregnancy.. and foals. Although he should have expected that one of these days, something like this would happen. But he had refused to face such a possibility before.. Despite his rising panic, he felt a sense of oligation to the mare. This wasn't a sort of issue that could be ignored, and hopefully it would resolve itself..

"Tch. This wasn't the sort of surprise I had I mind, y'know." He muttered to himself with a strained chuckle as he recalled his words at the spring. It was audible enough for the other mare to hear, although she wouldn't have understood what he meant.

Strangely enough, the knowledge didn't anger him. Instead.. He felt as if his world was being shattered. If it was for the better, or worse, He didn't know. Perhaps it was for the better.. he admitted. But he certainly didn't feel like it.

As if the entire world were against him, he felt the bitter need to seek comfort.  

[-Polar-]

Except for the one line Kai uttered quietly he said nothing, which made Nixsi annoyed. She hadn't understood what he had meant and she wished to implore him to elaborate on just what he 'had in mind'. Yet it seemed pointless, somewhat doubting that the stallion would choose to answer her inquiry. Did Kai think that this was what Nixsi had in mind either? That she wanted to end up pregnant? There was both positive and negative things that were associated; being sick and contantly wasn't exactly a perk to this whole ordeal but... To have children... All Nixsi could think was that in the end it would be worth it. She wasn't sure whether to comprehend the night she had spent with Kai as a mistake or a miracle. The latter however was what Nixsi tried to convince herself. Even if she and Kai weren't proud of what they had done, or ready... There were going to be parents nonetheless. The mare took a few steps closer to Kai and rested her head softly upon his back; giving a contented flick of her tail. She wanted to be closer, to touch him like this. Hopefully he wouldn't mind... Nixsi sighed, or perhaps yawned. She barely could distinguish one between the other anymore since she was often tired. Her eyes stared at the side of the stallion's face that was visible to her. "What are you thinking about?" She inquired calmly.  

[Saiyukii]

As the footsteps approached closer, he felt himself tensing up beneath her touch. After a few moments, he felt himself relaxing, as he came to the realization that Nixsi wouldn't make impossible demands of him... Hopefully, not yet. Instead, she seemed to regard him with patience.

"What I'm thinking of, you ask?" He echoed her words, with a grim look. "Perhaps your thoughts may be the same as mine." If he revealed how he truly felt about the situation, he doubted that he would recieve the most pleasant of reactions. If he was to be honest, the situation gave him a mixed feeling of dread, and joy. For years, he had enjoyed a bachelor life. But in less than an hour, his world had shattered. And nothing would be the same. But to be a father .. the thought of such a foreign concept was .. a bit exciting. Or that was how a part of him, found the idea.

But preganancy. It went against his very being. He could lie, but lying wouldn't change anything. Most likely, it would only make things worse.

Shifting from his position slightly, he gave the mare to the side of him, a weary stare. After what seemed to be an eternity, he spoke to the mare in a low voice that betrayed the turmoil of emotions he felt behind his mask.

"I fear change." He said in a quiet tone. Ever since he had lost a loved one, He kept his heart closed off to the world, developing his own private world within himself. So that he wouldn't trust, or love.. trust he wouldn't be hurt again. For a long time, he had been able to remain that way until he had met Nixsi. .. A family .. One would say that it wasn't such a tragedy, but rather something to be proud of ! But that wasn't how he felt. All he felt, was if the world around him had undergone a sudden change, and he desperately wanted to grasp onto something familiar.  

[-Polar-]

She nodded her head in response to his repetition of the question; causing her cheek to rub against his back. Nixsi giggled slightly, "Perhaps they are... yet then again perhaps they aren't. Or there a number of possibilities. Though I'll never know unless you reveal them to me." There was a slight twinkle in the mare's eyes as she spoke to him.

Nixsi stared back at Kai, noticing the look of forlorn upon his face. Though in his emerald eyes there was another expression; one that Nixsi could only describe as eager. Although neither of them knew what it was like to have children, the thought of having foals to look after and care for could be scary... it was also thrilling. The mare lifted her head and walked forward a few paces; nuzzling Kai's cheek.

"You don't need to be afraid of it, Kai. There will always be change... That is the only thing ever guaranteed in life." A small smile appeared on her face. Even if he wasn't prepared for this; neither was she. All that mattered was that they were both here now to care for one another.