Welcome to Gaia! ::

I just thought I'd put this up. (Yeah, I am a little bored right now.) If any of you people are writers, why not post some story ideas/characters/plotlines/ect. (I think it's fun to kick around ideas. whee ) It's not my intention to steal anything, I have ideas of my own.

And if you're more the artsy type, why not post some pictures?

July 4th, 2008

I sat here, watching the sunset, thinking of the days events. Fireworks could be heard in the distance. As I sat here, I heard a cry, not a humans cry, but an animals cry. I looked over to see a cat with one of those six-pack soda plastic things around it's neck. I help it out and watched it go, with the thing in my hand. I looked down at it and and sighed. Look at what we have done to this world. Do we need to suffer ever more? It's time we stopped the pain of the dieing Earth, not cause it.

ok well this startyed out as a story for the gaia arena, but then a few of the people i told it too said it was really good so i decided to take there advice and make it longer, its far from finished at this point and i know it needs more details at the beginning and there r many gramatical errors but other then that tell me wat u think of it so far


"Ok today’s the day, I’m finally gonna tell her." Wyatt said confidently as he waited under the tree for his love, Rhionna, to arrive. He looked down at his flute for reassurance the cold metal against his palm was enough to calm his nerves. He had worked hard preparing the piece he had been writing for her. He had also gotten her favorite chocolate from the store out by the high school. He knew she snuck away a lot to get them during her free period at school. He had also recently learned from a friend that she loved to sit under the large oak tree. She said that it calmed her to be outside in the fresh air. His plan seemed to be perfect, but as she approached doubt edged into his mind "She'd never want a guy like me. What was I thinking" He nearly turned and ran but that’s when her heard her calling his name as she approached "Hi Wyatt, so what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Wyatt froze. "Well I...uhhh" He turned to meet her curious gaze. "Well there's something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time..." His voice trailed off his nerves getting the better of him, and he turned away as he said "I really care about you....well what I mean is...Well...I love you, Rhionna" His cheeks began to burn with embarrassment; he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. There was a long silence between them then he felt her arms around him and he turned to her startled to see tears flowing from her beautiful blue eyes. "I love you too" she said in a choked whisper. Overjoyed Wyatt wrapped his arms around her and they stood there together for what seemed like hours as the autumn colored leaved fell around them. He pulled back and handed her the box of chocolate and then began playing the song on his flute. It was a beautiful piece and all the time he had spent practicing seemed to have paid off as he played it flawlessly, or maybe it was the fact that he was now playing for his muse, his inspiration, his love, whatever the case it had been his best time through it. Finally, they were forced to break apart, Rhionna promised to meet him again the next day under the tree which is now where he waits for her. He looked around, hoping to see her heading toward him but she was nowhere in sight. He grew tired of waiting wondering what was keeping her, he sat under the tree hoping she would still come. It was calming sitting under the tree and the gentle breeze through his cloud white hair and comforting bed of leaves underneath him along with the sounds of the outside world soon lulled him to sleep. In his dreams he saw her, but what shocked him was that she was falling. He reached out desperately trying to grasp her hand, but the closer he tried to get to her, the farther she seemed to be. “RHIONNA!” He cried desperately, as his love slipped away into the black. He knew he couldn’t reach her. Tears spilled helplessly from his eyes and he turned away unable to watch her falling away from him. Then he saw it, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, the bright light illuminated the darkness around him, drawing him closer to it. Wyatt approached cautiously, but as he drew closer he realized what he was seeing. It was a flower from one of his old bedtime stories. He reached out to touch it, as his hand connected with the silky petals of the flower the darkness around him began to fade away drawing forth an image of an island. Not just any island he remembered from the story it was the element island, the only known location of the Eternal Nox Flowers. They were very rare flowers only a small patch laid in the center of the island. Wyatt stared amazed at the scenery around him. He turned around taking in the volcanoes, rivers, forests, and mountains around him. In the middle just as the old story had said the flowers bloomed. Then he remembered, “Rhionna...” he said sadly to himself. Then he remembered the special properties of the flowers, they could give a person anything they desired wealth fame, fortune, but they could only grant one wish before wilting. That’s why only this small patch still survived. “If I can just get one I can save her.” he thought to himself as he approached them. Then as he reached out to collect the flower he felt something hit his head, shocking him into reality. “There you are.” The familiar voice of his friend, Kai said. “Get up you idiot how can you be sleeping at a time like this?” Wyatt gave him a blank stare. “A time like what?” he asked confused. His friend appeared appalled. “Don’t tell me you haven’t heard yet.” “Heard what?” Wyatt said impatient now. “Its Rhionna, Wyatt, there’s been an accident…” Kai looked down sadly. Wyatt grabbed his friends shoulders, gripping them tightly. “What’s happened to Rhionna?” He demanded anger and worry making him sound harsher then he ment to. Not surprised by his friends reaction to the news he replied “She’s in the hospital, apparently she was on her way here when she was hit by a drunk driver.” His friend said sadly. “She…she’s in a coma, Wyatt.” Wyatt’s eyes widened. “No! No! NO!” he cried angrily, and then whirled on his friend. “Where is she?” he demanded. Kai gave him directions to a hospital not far from there. “If you hurry you can still get there before the visiting hours end.” Kai said sympathetically, but Wyatt was already speeding down the road eager to see his love in one piece. When he reached the hospital he walked up to the front desk and had the bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grabbing the front of the nurse’s tunic and demanding to see Rhionna. He forced himself to politely ask which room Rhionna was in. The woman behind the desk politely pointed him in the direction of the stairs.
“Second floor room, 8b” she told him. “Is she a frie-” Wyatt didn’t give her time to finish her question as he rushed toward the room the nurse indicated. He burst through the door, surprising one nurse who had been checking on Rhionna. He muttered a quick apology and ran to Rhionna’s side, taking her hand in his. “She someone special?” The nurse asked, giving him a sympathetic look. “Yes.” Wyatt replied simply. “Is there anything you can do for her?” The nurse looked out the window for a moment then back at him as if preparing to put her life at risk. “I’m very sorry, but with her vitals it would take a merical for her to wake up from this.” That’s when it hit him. “The Eternal Nox Flowers,” He muttered under his breath. “Excuse me?” the nurse gave him a puzzled look. “Sorry, it was nothing just thinking about something.” He told her innocently. She gave him a curious glance and left the room to see to her other patients. Wyatt sat in a chair by the bed, still gripping his loves hand in his. “Rhionna, if u can hear me, I’m gonna get you out of this.” He said squeezing her hand slightly. “I’m gonna have to go away for a while though, but I promise I’ll be back.” He leaned down and kissed her gently and placed his hand on her cold cheek. “Don’t give up on me. I’ll be back here as soon as I can.” Wyatt lifted her hand to his mouth, kissed her knuckles, and carefully placed it back by her side. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “I love you, Rhionna.” Then he walked to the door glancing back once more a small part hoping to see her spring up from the bed. He knew that it was unlikely but still he watched. Finally a nurse ushered him away. “Visiting hours are over.” She told him in a strict tone. Wyatt left knowing that he would not return here for a long time, but what was his first move? As he walked down the nearly deserted street it hit him, literally. A piece of trash blew into his face, blinding him for a moment before her torn it from his face. On the paper was an add New book store opening November 14th open 24/7 for a big giveaway sale to celebrate. Wyatt looked at the address it wasn’t far from there so he made his way over. It was late the book store was nearly empty now, only a few people sat at small tables examining some book or magazine that had caught there eye. Wyatt walked up to the cashier. “Excuse me; I’m looking for a book called The Eternal Nox flowers.” He told the clerk. The man looked at him a glimmer of humor in his eye. “Aren’t you a little old for fairy tales son?” the man chuckled and pointed over to the children’s section not waiting for a reply. “Should be on the top shelf of the second book case.” Wyatt thanked him and went to retrieve the book, returning eagerly digging out his wallet to pay the cashier. “How much do I owe?” Wyatt asked. The cashier waved his hand in a ‘don’t worry about it’ gesture. Wyatt looked at him puzzled. “That old book has been with me for a long time, I knew it would end up in good hands.” The man said looking over Wyatt. “Just consider this a favor; I hope our paths may cross again someday Wyatt.” Then Wyatt left the store more confused then before. What had he ment by ‘in good hands?’ he barely knew the guy. That’s when he noticed the cashier had called him by his first name, Wyatt didn’t remember giving his name at all in the store. He turned around to question the strange store owner but when he returned to the store, he found that it had been closed for the night. Deciding not to ponder the strange encounter any longer, he made his way home to get packed and prepare for the journey ahead of him for he would soon learn what a vital piece of information the store owner had given him.

If he had dreamed that night he didn’t remember it. He jumped out of bed, got dressed, brushed his teeth and combed his hair then gulped down some coffee and a breakfast bar. He then called his friend, Ikram. Ikram was an old friend he’d known since elementary school. He ran the docks not to far out of the city, Where Wyatt had played as a child. “Hello?” Ikram’s voice said. “Hey, it’s me, did you get everything ready for me?” hehe almost, but why the rush? You sounded really desperate on the phone last night, did something happen?” Wyatt sighed. “I’d really rather not talk about it” He told his old friend. ‘Plus you’d think I was insane if I told you’ he thought to himself. “I have everything you asked for, but I could use some help loading it up if you don’t mind.” Ikram said. “I’d be glad to help out I’ll be there in about ten minutes” Wyatt told his friend quickly “See you then.” Ikram replied then hang up. “Alright, time to go.” He said eagerly picking up his suitcase and rushing out the door. He had spent many hours into the night reading over the book, the location of the island the dangers there, and whatever else he felt would be important on his way there and through the island. It would also give him directions as to where the flowers were located exactly. Wyatt made his way to the dock where his old pal Ikram was waiting for him. “So where you headed?” Ikram asked as he handed Wyatt the keys to a small, green speedboat and motioning for Wyatt to help him lift a small crate into the back of the boat. “I’m headed to Greenland” Wyatt replied absently. His friend seemed amused at that. “Well then you’re lucky you’ve got this boat, she’ll get you there in a week or so, four times faster then any other boat out there.” He said proudly and giving the boat and affectionate pat on the side. “The kind of thing I can always count on you for Ikram.” Wyatt said smiling at his old friend. “There’s food and fuel that should keep you going up to four weeks so you’re good for the return trip too.” Ikram told him. Wyatt chuckled. “You should be a party planner Ikram.” Then he shook Ikram’s hand and got in the boat waving until he could no longer see the shore anymore. Wyatt took a deep breath, savoring the smell of the open sea. It had been years since he’d been out on a boat. He had been three his last trip, now he was driving a boat stocked with food and fuel where he’d be stuck for a week or more, on what might be a wild goose chase. The insanity of his situation made him laugh as he sped over the smooth waters. He was enjoying the scenery around him, watching the seagulls fly overhead, the clouds overhead blocking the sun making strange patterns in the sky reflecting in the ocean. “I can spend a week here easy.” He said aloud, putting the boat to full speed, which he had to slow down because he could barely stand at that speed. He checked his navigation system; he was headed straight for Greenland. Though he still had a long distance to cover, he was excited. Then reality hit him. He was here for something important he shouldn’t be messing around; Rhionna’s life was at stake. With a new spark of determination he sped up as much as he could, flying over the water. He kept an eye on the clouds watching for any sign of storms ahead, but there were only clear skies ahead now. Wyatt traveled like that for a long time till it was late in the night and he was ready to collapse from exhaustion. He tossed down the small anchor to keep him in place then settle on the seat in the back of the boat. He would have slept then but his stomach argued so he got up and grabbed a sandwich from the small refrigerator on the boat. He ate quickly then settled back down, listening to the sound of the water against the boat as he began to fall into a deep sleep.
The next morning he woke up to the sound of seagulls cawing over head. He stood up, holding onto the seat until he regained balance. Then he rubbed his eyes groggily. It was early; the sun was just coming up over the horizon. Wyatt went over to the refrigerator and grabbed another sandwich for breakfast then pulled up the anchor and prepared to set sail. The first few hours were smooth and easy but then he noticed the clouds beginning to grow dark. Still he sailed on hoping to ride out of the dark skies before things got too bad. He wasn’t so lucky. The waters became rough and the wind began blowing wildly, his cloud white hair blowing in his face, forcing him to slow down. And things only got worse from there, the skies grew darker the wind blowing harsher blowing him off course and calling forth giant wave that sent him flying across the boat. He had to do something if this kept up he would loose the boat, and his breakfast. He pulled the keys from the boat and placed them in his pocket, no point in trying to drive over the rough waters, the boat would never take that much punishment. Then he sat down and held on tight as the storm blew the boat and the waves crashed around him. Wyatt was terrified and as the lightning began around him he squeezed his eyes shut, fear gripping him. “Wyatt!” he heard suddenly and he opened his eyes as a huge bolt of lightning struck not to far from his boat. He looked around but no one was in sight. “I’m so scared I’m imagining things.” he said disgusted with himself. “Wake up, Rhionna’s in trouble you idiot, now’s no time for this.” Wyatt scolded himself. He moved to the navigator checking the course. The wind had him off, and if he didn’t do something quick he would be taking a long detour that he definitely didn’t have time for. “Alright, the boat won’t sustain over the waves but maybe if I keep it slow I can navigate myself back on course and through the storm.” He pulled out the keys and started up the boat. Steering through the rough waters, he found, was a bigger challenge then he suspected, the currents fought hard every step of the way. “I…need…more…speed...” he said through clenched teeth as he used all his might to turn back on course. He gradually sped up until he was absently soaring over the waters, desperate to get back on course. Lightning flashed around him, drawing closer as he flew forward. His worry of the lightning kept him from noticing the rock sitting in front of him. He collided with it making a loud thump sound. Alarmed he went to check the hull of the boat. Nothing seemed to be damaged just a small scrape but he could work off that debt later. He continued on at a slower speed, but still the storm raged on. Wyatt drove through the rough conditions for what seemed like days, he couldn’t tell if it had been or not because of the dark clouds that had been surrounding him. Finally the storm began to die down. When the clouds finally dispersed he saw it was nightfall. The storm had made him loose a lot of time, so he sped up as much as he could. Then suddenly the boat came to an abrupt stop. Wyatt turned the key and punched the wheel in aggravation but the boat didn’t start up. Then he checked over everything and found the problem. He was out of fuel; he turned to the crate and pulled open the top. A strong odor rose from the inside and he saw why. The rough waters had damaged quite a few of the containers, draining away all but a week and a half’s worth of fuel. So much for the trip home, he had no money on him for more supplies either. If that wasn’t bad enough, the storm had cut the power for quite some time spoiling most of the food in the refrigerator. Wyatt swore and kicked the old boat, which resulted in nothing more then a few sore toes and a huge wave of pain, which just made him swear louder. Ignoring his throbbing foot, he moved to fill up the gas tank with a portion of what was left of the fuel. Then he took inventory on his remaining supply of food. He found enough to where if he cut down to a portion of a breakfast bar for breakfast and half a sandwich for dinner and skipped lunch then he would have enough to suffice till he made it to the docks. Once he got there he would figure out how to get the money for more supplies.

To killer_klaw:

Wow, that's humongous! My advice is to break up the paragraphs a lot more than you have, especially where the dialog is. It'll make it easier for people to read.

And it sounds like this is going to turn into some big saga or something, so you might want to add a little more description to give the story a sounder setting. It helps readers really envision what's happening in their minds. Gives them a clearer image, you know?

As you go on, you might want to add in some more details for Wyatt's friends. Better relationships between people in the story gets the reader to fall in love with your characters. (This is unnecessary if they don't show up too often, so you can take or leave the side notes, lol. You don't have to listen to me- I'm just part of the peanut gallery.)

But right now this is just a post on a forum, so all that stuff is really just lavish embellishment. There's a real sense of direction so far. Like you really know where you want the plot to go and everything, and that's always good.

So far I think you've done a fantastic job. Yay!

I'm sorry if you think I'm being mean by picking your story apart. I'm not trying to be. I just always get frustrated when I ask for advice and people just give me vague encouragement. It drives me mad because it doesn't help me improve at all. That's why I try to be as critical as I can be.

PS. The name "Wyatt" means water- just throwing that out there 'cause it's nifty.

i think bella was trying to target more specific areas of concentration. and yes, get a laptop. i know distractions and i wish i had one. burning_eyes

you have a music room?

that's more than i have. i live in a one-story, two bedroom, one bath, kitchen, and living room house. i feel poor now, hm...

XD i find it amusing that i havent been working on the story yet u have neglected to bug me about anything and yea my house isnt that big neutral