Welcome to Gaia! ::

Really, any topic, but I'm wondering about the "heavy" ones, like abortion, drug use, war, death, love, sex, or anything else.

I was thinking that, given the chance to talk to a group of kids (my own or like a group of school children), I would say this about drug use:

"Some drugs are very dangerous, like heroin, oxycodone, cocaine, and PCP. Other drugs are less dangerous for adults, like alcohol, marijuana, and LSD. All drugs have some benefits, which is why people use them, but they all have negative consequences as well.

Drugs change the way the brain works, for a short period of time. Sometimes, the brain will work differently after using a drug, because of permanent effects. People have been using different mind altering drugs for centuries, and some people will probably always use drugs.

When you are a child, there is already a lot changing in your brain. This is why it is not a good idea to do drugs at all until your brain has finished growing, between the age of 16 and 21 (I don't know if they've narrowed this down yet - or if it differs from person to person).

When you become an adult, you might get the desire to try drugs - to see how it feels when your brain works in a different way. Like all choices you face, this one can change your life greatly. Some people try drugs once or twice and never want to do them again. Some people never try drugs, and never want to. Some people try drugs and use them on occasion for a while. And some people try drugs and like them too much, and have a lot of problems because of their drug use. We call these people addicts.

Addicts generally use drugs to try to escape from their problems. But this doesn't work, after they come down off their drug or drugs of choice, they still have problems. Many times, the drugs themselves cause even more problems for them. When people find that they need to stop taking drugs, they can join 12-Step Groups or go into Rehab.

It is possible for people to use drugs and also deal with their problems. People who are seeing mental health professionals often are given prescription drugs to help them with their treatment. And some people do use drugs to "self medicate" or try to treat their problems on their own. However, without help, this often doesn't work. It is safest to get the help of a professional when trying to work through a difficult issue, with or without the help of drugs.

At this point in your life, it's hard to know what choices you will someday face. If you do, someday, find yourself considering taking drugs, please try to think your decision through. Making the wrong choice could change your whole life!"

I would tell my kids as much as I figure they could understand of my opinions on things, if they asked. 3nodding I wouldn't tell a group of other people's kids anything deep, because it's their business how they are going to raise them.

And I think it is really dangerous to tell kids that it's "okay to try drugs, once you're older," because even if you feel that drugs are okay, kids aren't going to wait until they are older. They are going to try drugs when they are offered drugs, because they feel like adults, no matter what you say about their brain.

Edit: There is also the fact that, while you may feel that these drugs should be legal, and I agree on marijuana at least, they are not currently legal. And you really shouldn't be encouraging kids to break the law, even if you feel it is an unjustified law. 3nodding I've always kind of wondered how it is with parents who do pot and have kids. I mean. How do you tell them, "Well, it's okay to break this law, because it shouldn't be illegal in the first place, but it's not okay to break that other law?" Or do you just tell them, "Do as I say, not as I do?"

The only way I see marijuana useful is for medical use for patients with severe illnesses.

I'm sure it can still be mind-altering and impairs your judgement and that could be dangerous. Also I believe it increases your pulse and heart rate and that can't good (I never used it so I can't be 100% sure on that).

At least abit of alcohol like wine can help improve your health and helps slow down aging.

Abortion: I wouldn't tell anyone else's kids about abortion, but my own kids, I would say that if they see killing humans as wrong, then abortion is wrong-- but most likely that conversation will arise when they're older. I had a conversation with my step-dad about abortion; He's very pro-choice. Me being me, I argued.

Hopefully my kids will just take what they can from me, and form their own opinions as individuals. I'm sure I would be frustrated yet enlightened if my son/daughter were pro-choice.

Drug use: Weed is fine with me, kids. Hell, I'm high right now. <3 XD

Hard drugs I would not like them to get addicted to any hard drugs, but If they participated in it in a recreational (not habitual) sense, then I may approve of certain drugs in moderation-- i.e. mushrooms.

I'm pretty lenient in my beliefs on drug use.

But only if it's something they pursue... though I would prefer them not to.

Sex: For god's sake, wear a condom!

War: Well, we all know my views on that. Killing is killing. Sorry, little dudes.

You didn't directly say it, but the way you didn't say it implied it. "You shouldn't do drugs now because your brain is soft, but some people try them when they are older and that's fine." You're giving them permission to, and do you really think they're going to go, "Oh, she said my brain isn't ready to handle it right now, I should just wait until I'm sure it can?" No, they are going to go, "Well, she says drugs are okay, and my friends are all doing it, so... Eh. What does she know about brain chemistry anyways? She's not a brain surgeon."

I disagree. Now, yes, just because it's illegal doesn't make it bad, but they shouldn't try drugs while it's illegal because, even if the drug is actually okay, smoking marijuana can screw up your chances at pretty much everything. Someone found marijuana at my workplace (And admittedly the first mistake was keeping their drugs at work, the idiots) and two people got fired because of the drug tests that were conducted. Does this mean marijuana is bad? No. But it does mean that smoking marijuana can mess you up because of current laws.

As Woodnut said, that's some really bad logic to teach, especially for children. Because it's unjust you don't follow it? What if this kid decides some completely reasonable law is unjust? What if the kid decides that, since s/he doesn't have enough money for candy, it's okay to just take it. To them, the laws against shoplifting seem unjust. Does that mean they shouldn't follow it?

Now, to a certain extent, I agree with civil disobedience. But it's a complex idea that can't be simplified to simply, "If the law is unjust, disobey it." For one thing, an important part of civil disobedience is that you have to be willing to go to jail for your cause. And kids just don't understand the complexities involved. To a kid, if they want to do it, it should be legal for them to do.

If all of their friends are already doing drugs, it isn't going to matter if some strange adults tells them to not do drugs, wait to try drugs, or do drugs right now. If their friends are doing drugs, they will probably try drugs, and there is little their parents can do at that point, let alone some stranger.
Anyone with few days warning, or some cleverness can easily pass a drug test (other than a blood test or spinal tap). One can even purchase fake pee to pass it (or special shampoos for hair tests). There are entire companies who make far too much money helping people to get false negatives on their drug tests. Also, urine tests are horribly, horribly inaccurate, and both employees should have sued for a retest (since they could have taken Ibuprofen, too much Vitamin C, or any number of over-the-counter substances that create false positives for THC).

Of course, not being a moron and keeping illegal drugs at one's work place would be a good move to begin with. Which is why responsible drug users don't do such things (and also don't get high at work, the only reason I can think of to have cannabis at work).

I was told almost that exactly, about civil disobedience and unjust laws, and yet never disregarded any laws without careful though. I think that you don't give children enough credit.

Also, it is the job of a parent to make sure that their children understand why things like shoplifting are wrong.

I don't feel that telling people to think about things is asking too much of them, even children. But then, I hope that any children I have will be as prone to thinking about things as I am.

I completely agree that it is the job of a parent to teach their children their own values. I wouldn't say that my opinion on cannabis use should overrule what parents feel about drug use. But I certainly don't think that it is right to teach children to always respect authority and the law no matter what, because I think it is very important for the next generation to learn that one needs to try and figure out why laws exist, not just blindly follow them (and thus also, hopefully, learn to see the consequences of all actions). Like I said, almost all laws exist to protect people, and it is important to think through how a given law is trying to do that.

I do feel that, since people already believe that they don't have to follow laws if they don't want to, it doesn't matter if I happen to tell hypothetical children to think about if a law is just or unjust before they consider breaking it.

I think that part of changing a law is society losing any respect for that law. To me, it doesn't matter if a law is overturned or if it just stops being enforced (like the Cleveland law banning fishing for whales on Sunday), which is what happens if enough people stop following a law.

To me, anarchy is about everyone doing as they see best, and people only interfering in the business of others when it becomes needed (usually because said people interfered with them first). I do think that most people aren't really ready to handle that sort of society yet.

I'm willing to take the bet that any children you raise will be prone to thinking things through responsibly. But I'm not willing to bet that most children out there will, and you're not just talking about talking to your own children. Also, asking kids to think about things doesn't mean they'll think about things in an adult manner; in general, adults are better equipped to think things through due to experience and brain development.

I didn't say it's right to teach children to blindly respect authority because it's authority, but to stop at saying "as long as you think it through, you can break a law you feel is unjust," is not giving them enough, in my opinion. I don't think most children will take that tiny piece of information and come to an adult decision, or gain an accurate picture of what civil disobedience is about, or the consequences of it.


I disagree with this. For the same reason that in daycare I didn't say, "If you feel you deserve an extra cookie, take an extra cookie," because I figured kids were breaking that rule already. Because it really does make a difference. Because saying that honestly will make a difference. It will give people an example to follow. Because if I said that, I wouldn't have to deal with five little people trying to sneak chairs up to the shelf to reach the cookies, I'd have to deal with ten.


But you can lose respect for a law without breaking it. If it's necessary, if other measures fail, I can see it, but even the greatest examples of civil disobedience did not start with breaking the law, it started with trying to change the law and gain support for changing the law. Drastic, jail-time earning measures were taken later, when the other methods were failing to work. Breaking the law and then hiding that you break the law with special shampoos and store-bought pee doesn't seem like an effective way to overturn the law to me. What really needs to be done to change a law is lose public support for that law, not just respect. If your movement is associated with lawbreakers and deviants who hide their crimes, deceiving their employers in the process and cheating the system, it's going to be harder to gain public support.


I realize you said most people aren't ready to handle that sort of society, but that's the problem with it. We're not ever going to be able to handle it. If there is no authority over right and wrong, then everything can be right, and everything can be excused or justified. "Best" is relative. Most people will not do what is for the best, they will do what is for their own best, what will make them the happiest, and while most people wouldn't actively or purposely hurt others on the way to it, it's very easy to hurt people without realizing it. It's easy to have a few drinks, feel you're in control of your own body, and get behind the wheel of a car; heck, people do it now even with harsh penalties if you break the law. It's easy to grab an item off of a shelf in a store stocked full of things and think, "They've got so much, it won't hurt them at all." And then you have that minority that will actively and purposely hurt people to get what they want. This can be balanced out by which type of anarchy you've got going on, but not entirely, not to the extent of protection we have now. Sure, with anarchy, if someone insists on hurting me, I can hurt them right back, and I can hurt them with more force than necessary to just remove them for once. I can hurt them enough so they'll never, ever do it again, I can scar them for life. But can my 6 year old cousin do that? Can my 103 year old grandfather do that? Okay, scratch that, he can, but two years ago when my grandmother was 101 and alive, she wouldn't have been able to. Not everyone is going to be able to interfere back if someone interferes with them, and I suppose you can fall back on families, but that seems to devolve back to clans, and it doesn't help people without families who are unable to defend themselves.