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"It's been going round the rumour mill for quite some time now, but we at HAFD.com can exclusively reveal that another of Doctor Who fandom's favourite villains is returning ... the evil Time Lady known only as The Rani! And what's more, this arch-nemesis of the Doctor will be played by not one, but TWO leading actresses as the show's writers exploit the aliens' regenerative ability once again...

1) Catherine Tate! Yes, the Doctor's own companion will turn against him sometime during this coming series. Russell T Davies himself hinted at this when telling The Telegraph, "I love the fact that Donna’s a little bit older than the Doctor..." And we all thought he only meant the actors! Our sources clammed up when asked how Donna will transform from friend to foe, but Tate herself was happy to tell us, "I'm really pleased with the range of characterisation I get to display on this show - you might see a bit of Lauren or Nan popping up!" Another cockney Gallifreyan? You heard it here first, folks!

2) Joan Collins! Other sites have already reported the former Dynasty actress's imminent role on Doctor Who - but none of them picked up on the famous s*x symbol's impact on the Doctor... "The chemistry between David and Joan is staggering," said a runner on the show. "From the moment the Rani walks in, only scantily dressed from her regeneration, the Doctor can't keep his eyes off her." Apparently producers felt the show and its several young female companions over the years had "a prejudiced view against attractive older women" and wished to readdress this imbalance; we can also confirm that an uncut version of Collins' episode will be available on download for adult viewers only. Phwoar!"

O-o.

Dear God no. gonk

You've got a point there. surprised

Sacrelige! gonk

eek Can't believe it!

Whats a sacralege? does it taste good?

rofl I thought you made the whole thing up; and it looked so official! xd