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 Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 11:10 pm
Alright, well last night I came out and told a girl how I felt about her, the conversation when kind of like this.
ME "I just want to get this out there, I think I like you a lot more than a friend."
HER "Well, I'm not exactly looking to be someone's girlfriend, but you're really cool and I like hanging out with you alot, I'm just not looking to be someone's girlfriend."
ME "Well, I just wanted to get it out there, you're one of the coolest people I've ever met."
HER "I appreciate you being honest, and I kind of suspected it, so now it's kind of official."
Right as I'm about to leave...
ME "Well, if you ever change your mind..."
I tried calling later to make things less awkward...
ME "Hey E, just kind of wanted to say something... not sure what."
HER "You're not sad or anything about this are you?"
ME "Nah, I really don't feel beat up or anything, I'm fine."
HER "You sure?"
ME "Yeah I'm fine, look I don't want you to get the idea that I was just looking for a girlfriend."
HER "It's alright, I really appreciate you being honest though."
ME "You have a good night."
HER "You too, good night."
Well somewhere in there she still invited me to her families lake house, I can't make it all exact quotes, but she said something along the lines of, "Call me tomorrow if you can come." I called and said something had come up, then she wished me a good spring break and I did the same. Then later in the afternoon I got a call from her mom, yes her mom, asking why I wouldn't be able to come out with them for some of spring break... I'm sorry, but I didn't want to just say, "Yeah, might be awkward to go spend time out there with your daughter since I just got semi-rejected." So I told her that my dad was only going to be here 2 days, and that's an actual truth, I never get to see him as is.
1. Was that total rejection, or is she just not ready for a relationship? She's 19 and never even dated in her life.
2. I don't feel depressed, but I do feel down... I dunno, just having second thoughts on not going out with them... but at the same time knowing it'd be all to awkward.
3. I still love her. crying
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:54 am
Well you can't make her like you, and maybe she'll change her mind later and realize how much of a catch you are..But you shouldn't wait, it's not fair to you. Don't take it as a rejection, maybe just dating right now scares her, she's not weird that happens a lot.
As long as shes not bringing another guy over and lying to you, i wouldn't feel down. Dont be mad shes not your girlfriend, be happy that shes been and will be such a good friend to you, you two seem close and i don't think a closeness like that will change because of an awkward moment.
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O u r A r c a n e L o v e
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 9:25 am
I'm not mad at her, there's no reason in the world that I could be mad at her. I just, well, she's never really dated, so maybe she's just not sure... I dunno... sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:42 pm
Hmm. Well it could be both, she is not looking for a relationship and it was a rejection. It is very feasible that she dosent want the distraction of a boyfriend and trying to do school and everything.
It doesn't sound like she had a lot to say back as to make it easier on you, so i suspect it was a total rejection. I have read some of you other post about this girl and it did seem like she was not interested but only wanted to be friends.
But don't be beat up about it, there is a girl out there and even in your area that it looking for a guy like you and you for her, it just wasn't her. You seem like a great guy. It may not seem like it know but you will feel better and you will find love someone else.
Also, Kudos to you for coming out to her with your feelings. That takes some serious guts, which most people can only dream of having. So again don't beat yourself up.
*hugs*
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:19 pm
I just... I dunno what to do, I'm beyond confused... I've never felt this way about someone... she's really special and I just don't know how to tell her I care that deeply without sounding crazy...
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:01 pm
You did tell her. Its love, its going to feel a little crazy to you no matter what but i am sure you didn't come off crazy just in love or having a crush. Wow, i wish i could find a guy to feel this way about me cry .
She got the message and she didn't go running off screaming his a crazy man. i honestly don't think there is anything else for you to do, it was a good idea to not go with her on spring break. it might be good to take some time, away from E and get your thoughts and feelings together. I assume you still want to be friends with her, so just take this break as a good time to think.
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:06 pm
Honestly, yeah... it sounds like rejection. But it also sounds like she's not ready to have a boyfriend, isn't looking to have a boyfriend and I would assume from that that you aren't inspiring any feelings within her to change her mind, to put it bluntly. At least she didn't date you just to have a boyfriend, so she's trying to be kind to you and spare your feelings because she probably really does care about you as a friend.
You're right to not go on the trip, take some time away. From everything you've said about her it seems like you're probably more likely to smother her than make her change her mind. It's good to get your bearings and have a little time to get over being turned down.
Not to mention, most people tend to go for somebody who plays it slightly hard to get. Although wording it like that bugs me. Don't always drop everything to hang out with them, don't re-arrange your life for that person. I realize this trip might not be re-arranging your life...but turn her down for a hang-out once in awhile. Make her realize that she really enjoys spending time with you by giving her time without you to compare. I know from experience, I pushed myself onto my boyfriend too much and right now we're trying to work through it... in general, with any relationship, give the other person some space once in awhile. Easier said than done, but by not going to the lake house you're giving her some space.
Who knows, maybe if you step back and re-evaluate you'll realize what all you're doing to possibly hinder your chances, and maybe she will decide she likes you as more than a friend. But just give her a chance to do it.
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:54 pm
The Dread Pirate Ghosty .... and I would assume from that that you aren't inspiring any feelings within her to change her mind, to put it bluntly. ...
Ahh yeah i was trying to think of a nice way to say that exact same thing, so i happy someone here was able to create the sentence to get those thoughts across. If she had some interest she probably would have said something a long the lines of "i like you too but" or something similar but instead she was just like i suspected it which i take as a hint for I know but i was hoping i was wrong. I think she is only interested in friendship, so yeah don't try to push the topic more well not so soon. As said before, you cant make her like you the same way and She got the message. Playing hard to get could work but i really dont think she is in to you, i could be wrong i have not seen you guys together. I just dont want you to lose your friendship because she thinks you are avoiding her because of what happen but some time apart is needed. good luck manga joe and keep us updated
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 9:47 pm
I dunno, I'm just confused, and I know you all say it sounds like rejection... but just something in me says that she's not ready... I dunno, maybe I'm just not wanting to admit it. She came into my life and practically stopped me from hating myself all together. When we talked she kept telling me she still really liked me, she wanted to keep hanging out; I realize that says friendship more than relationship... but... I just really care for her, and I feel something I've never felt before when I'm around her. She told me she didn't want to be someone's girlfriend right now... but at the same time I didn't want her to be my girl friend, I just wanted Elm to know I cared, and I would never want to do anything to mess with the way she is... if she wants me to just be her friend then I'll back off; but it's going to be a while for it to really stop hurting if that's really all she wants me to be. I fell in love with her, not a crush... not some kind of physical attraction, I fell in love with her because she truly touched me in a way that only someone special really can... I met someone that understood me... and then I think it all fell apart because I feel my words came out wrong.
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:30 pm
Ouch, you have been hit hard by cupids arrow.
Yes it will hurt but it wont forever and maybe she will one day want to be with you but that is not today and probably won't be for some time.
I know you are confused because she didnt want to hurt your feelings and you seem to be in some what of a denial but its normal. you have strong feelings for someone and they rejected you but they want to be friends with you and that can be confusing with all those emotions going on.
At the moment i am trying to think about what is going on in her mind and prehaps you should think about that for some time, to get a clearly view. She doesn't want this to effect your friendship because she does like you as a person and wouldn't continue to hang out with you if she didn't.
All i can say is time time time. Perhaps in a two weeks or so you can talk to her some more about what you are feeling.
Here is a question for you. what would make you less confused? (like what do you want or need to here or know)
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:29 am
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:22 pm
Ohh ok, that wasnt a really answearabel question. it was more meant to get you to think. I think you just need some time to think and get your emotions and stuff in check. On a side note, i was in the store today and song come on that reminded me of this situation "Puppy love", so adorable. I really everything ends well with the situation. When does spring break end for your school, just wondering when you might see her next?
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:15 pm
Well we started talking over an email, she sent me kind of a weird but sweet easter email... I was on her best friends mailing list. Anyway, I thanked her and wished her a happy easter, and well I just apologized, I thought my words came out wrong.
"How would you like to tell me?"
"I'd like to tell you that I didn't want you to be my girlfriend, I only want you to be Emily B******, the girl I fell for."
Just blanking her last name because... I mean come on, I'm strange but not stupid. sweatdrop Anyway, we talked about the cook out I was gonna throw and she said if she's in town she'd show up. So soonest might be Thursday.
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:18 pm
MangaJoe Well we started talking over an email, she sent me kind of a weird but sweet easter email... I was on her best friends mailing list. Anyway, I thanked her and wished her a happy easter, and well I just apologized, I thought my words came out wrong. "How would you like to tell me?" "I'd like to tell you that I didn't want you to be my girlfriend, I only want you to be Emily B******, the girl I fell for." Just blanking her last name because... I mean come on, I'm strange but not stupid. sweatdrop Anyway, we talked about the cook out I was gonna throw and she said if she's in town she'd show up. So soonest might be Thursday. I don't think you words came out wrong. I mean how can i have feelings for you that more then friendly be interpreted. But i am happy to know she isn't avoiding you due to any awkwardness that could have existed. Keep me updated.
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:20 pm
WELL IT JUST GOT WEIRDER!!
Well I'd been talking to my friend Alisa... she'd been helping me build up my confidence to tell Emily, and well... after all this, Alisa breaks down and tells me she loves me. eek
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