Mylian
All you've done is proven so far that you're not
disqualified from Brigadier Sainthood on the existence technicality. What qualifies you for sainthood?
I claim Brigadier sainthood based on the aforementioned technicality, supported by the following qualifications:
1) A saintly, illuminized personality,
2) Breath-taking sex appeal,
3) Coherent writing skills,
4) Having had the mental fortitude to read all of Joyce's "Ulysses," and
5) An uncanny knack for lying proficiently about my qualifications and abilities.
By the power vested in me by the state of confusion, I do hereby declare myself Saint Manta Longvalley and award to myself all rights, duties, and privileges thereof, now and in perpetuity, et hoc genus omne,
Shantih Shantih Shantih