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 Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:09 pm
Well, this week has been really extremely stressful for anyone that was in our school musical because we keep getting home at 11 at night from rehearsal/performance, and then most of us have been getting done/giving up with homework by midnight so we're all so overtired. But anyways, I have this one friend, he's been one of my best friends, but this year (after kind of a situation I found awkward and kind of ruined our friendship in my eyes...long story short, he asked me to a dance, because I guess he liked me, but I said no because I freaked out a little bit not knowing what to do, and that night my friend asked him out and he said yes, she still doesn't know about him liking me and asking me to a dance in September...I feel that part of the reason we were extremely good friends was he did have that draw to me in a way, and I miss that now because we rarely talk anymore), he's become obsessed with these two girls, even though he has his girlfriend. Part of it is they've turned the drama club into their thing (ok, we have musical through music department, and then drama club was started last year, so two totally different things). I was in drama club last year, but then this year I quit because I had a lot going on. So, these girls (one of which bullied me two years ago) have been using drama club as an excuse to exclude people, like me. So I got upset and ranted to someone about how he's treating it and those girls like they're the best thing ever, and it has turned into somewhat of a cultish like thing. I mean, its not the director of drama club, that teacher is one of the sweetest teachers ever, it was those two girls! And I was getting really mad because of the excluding thing, and I kind of miss the friendship we once had...and there's been a few times I've been about to flip out, but I hold back because he's been there a lot for me this year when I've been in some other situations. I mean, it was just last week, I took something too personally by someone, it put me in a bad/upset mood. Of course he gives me a hug and I just started crying on his shoulder. Totally unintentional.
So I was joking around one of the days in my 'overtired/loopy mood'. I don't know if he didn't know if I was joking or something. Someone told me he was spreading around I couldn't use powertools to save my life, I found it somewhat offensive, but just turned it into a jokish thing, and said, "I don't appreciate you insulting me behind my back." I said it teasingly, and he responded, "Well, you've been insulting drama club behind my back." Well, that hit a sore note, and I stayed a few minutes longer to help someone with something in that room, then left. I was so confused. I felt angry, because its not really drama club in general, its just that group that makes me angry, but on the other hand, he's been there a lot for me. I felt he was angry at me, but apparently he thought I was more angry at him. I don't know, it was so confusing. I was so overtired on top of it all, so it added to the confusion.
Well, the next day I tried to strike conversation, but it was extremely awkward, even though I got a few laughs out of him. But I had a breakdown once I was at pizza hut that night (I got there before him, pizza hut after the show is a traditional cast party thing), and I was sitting at the table with two others I'd made friends with, and asked if he wanted to sit with me. Any other time he'd say yes, but he said he wanted to sit with a few others. I had a breakdown because I feel like I was ruining the friendship, and I'd basically do anything at that point to fix it because he was one of my best friends. I'd already lost one of my friends this year, I don't think she realizes this yet, but I don't consider us friends anymore because it was kind of an 'abusive' relationship between us, and my self esteem plummetted so much I just said to myself I had enough. I just couldn't emotionally go through that again.
I'm prepared to talk it out with him, and say if we're fading out, that I'll let it go because I don't want to be hypocritical, since I am the one who always says that friends fade in and out.
So, yeah, I don't really know how to feel, guilty or angry at some things. But I guess I'll suck it up and just do anything I can to fix it all. He's one of those people who has the potential for being a lifelong friend. I don't want to loose him.
Ok, so something FUNNY!
Well, my two friends have taught themselves to read palms, and the one does shortterm fortunes, and she said the day right after he said that to me, that there was something I wasn't sure if I was angry or guilty about. =O Magic!
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:36 am
He destroyed my life...
The palm reading thing is the same as reading peoples feet.
I can read feet. xd
It's good that you are ready to talk things out with him, you really need to find out what it is that is driving you two apart. Both of your views of it will be different.
Maybe explain to him why you would say things about the drama group, or that group of people. Thankfully guys aren't as rash as women, so he may be prepared to listen.
You'd need to tell him that you still really want to be friends with him, and find out what he wants or thinks.
If he is/was really such a good friend to you, then you should try to keep the friendship going, otherwise, you will regret it.
If the friendship is to end, you need to find out why. If you don't, you will always be blaming yourself and wondering why.
I had a friend... We got really close and my family didn't like it (they never liked anything I done of my own free will) they started spreading lies between us. One really got to me and I got angry, told her all the things that I didn't like about her, like the way she used boys.. well that was it really.
She stopped talking to me for a while, which relly hurt.
One day, going to college, I saw her walking to work. I almost fell off my motor bike trying to stop so I could talk to her.
Straight away it was like things were back to normal.
That night I got a text from her. She said she never wanted to see me again, never wanted to talk again.
It's been over a year now since that, and every day I blame myself, I'm always thinking of her, I just want to talk to her because otherwise I will never know why..
If you feel guilty, it's because you feel like you are in the wrong, or like you have wronged him.
You could feel angry because he has done exactly that to you.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:08 pm
Hehe, I was ready to talk things out with him...but I didn't have a spare second in my day. >.<; Darn it all, why must I have such a difficult schedule with hardly any down time. The only down time I have at the same time as him is lunch when he's obsessing over those two girls. And also his girlfriend is there, and I think, even though we're good friends, it would be awkward to talk alone with her around. She was actually the one who read my palm, and I explained part of it to her, so she kind of knows, but still, I think he'd get mad at me to separate him from his social time with those two other girls.
I also felt bad today, he didn't even look at me. He didn't acknowledge my existence. I said something to him, but he basically already had the mindset of going over and talking to one of 'those' girls during chemistry today. I thought it was semi fixed, considering we gave each other big hugs after our last performance on Saturday and all, but I guess its not going to be that easy.
It'd sure help the situation a million times more if I had MORE SLEEP! z_z I couldn't get to sleep last night because of being up really late every other night for over a week.
Thank you for responding, though! It feels better to know someone's been in the same boat. I'm sorry your parents did that, and you lost that friendship. It sucks loosing friends. That's why I'm taking this one so hard. The last friend I just lost used to be really close to me, that's why I was so vulnerable with her. She still doesn't know I'm not considering her a friend anymore. Or else she's shielding herself from the fact, I don't know.
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:37 pm
He destroyed my life...
The way I am now, if I were you I would throw him against a wall and hole him there and tell him what was on my mind and make him cower before me and say sorry.
But I am sure you wouldn't like to do that.
You really need to take him aside one time, regardless of how he will react, and you need to be firm with him. Otherwise he may just end up completly ignoring you.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:56 pm
I have punched him before, but then felt really bad about it. Though, I think I'm going to wait a while before I punch anyone again, sing I punched the one guy really hard on Saturday (he's the one I thought liked me, well, he's really tall and big, a shotputter. I was standing on the stage, and he was 'serious', and was shaking my hand. All of a sudden, he grabs my legs and picks me up off the stage by the bottom of my legs. I screamed loud and I think kicked him a few times, then punched him xD Oh, fun times, fun times).
But yeah, if I get a chance tomorrow, I will. I was close to doing it on Saturday while we were all lazing around before the show doing nothing, but I guess I just didn't...
I don't know. I'm trying to find some time that it'd work. Darn it all, he's not doing a vocal solo, so I can't ambush him then...I'll just have to find out his schedule or call him or something...but the thing is I don't want to do it over the phone, its too awkward and you don't get to see the person face to face. It might be my only chance.
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:18 pm
He destroyed my life...
If he does have other people around him, then you'll just have to kindly ask them to leave. If they don't, then do you think you would be able to talk it out infront of them?
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:27 pm
I might be able to during lunch. But he might not want to leave those two girls...because God forbid that he miss one conversation with them. =P
I couldn't talk in front of them, though. They'd spread it around the whole school, and part of my frustration has to do with them.
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:36 pm
He destroyed my life...
God, if I lived near you, I would be down there making sure you got your alone time with him.
I'm glad I don't live near you though, I'd still have to go to school. xd
Really, you just need to be firm with all of them, b***h even, otherwise I doubt you will get anywhere with this.
sweatdrop Chibi was always better with this kinda stuff.
I'd just resort to violence.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 7:03 pm
xD I'll throw him in the janitors closet with me, that always does the trick for alone time, but then comes the explaining part of 'what were you two doing in the janitors closet?' xD Oh, one of the funny things I remember from freshmen year.
Well, sometimes I just resort to running away and finding a corner to hide in, so I'm quite pathetic. I'm sure if he is ridiculous about things, I can b***h at him. (the best that I'm capable of...I'll try xD). Gah! I'm just pathetic. One time when we needed to talk something out, we went to the playground at the elementary school and then went and did something fun afterwards to cool down from talking. But...I don't even see that happening.
Grr...
Let's see...I'll try being firm. I'll bring my acting skills to the max because I'm not really that strong of a person (but I brought fear to the hearts of men in our play...hehe...but they were acting as well...^_^ wink
I'll try. I'm going to go develop a game plan whilst I sleep tonight on what to do. Yay! I'm determined now.
Hehe, actually this reminds me of the exact thing you just said, one of my friends said about this hot flute player I met at area all state two years ago. She claimed she'd lock us up until we were professing how much we really loved each other, or at least talked to each other. xD
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 10:50 am
You have to tell me what happened today. <3
Acting is a really handy when you want to do something, especially if it is not the kind of thing you would normally do.
It's like pretending you are someone else in a play, but with a personal plot.
I used to use it alot.
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 2:44 pm
I didn't get a chance to talk to him today. >.<;
I was going to during lunch, but we had a double period in history (for watching propaganda cartoons xD).
I did talk some of it out with his girlfriend, she noticed him ignoring me. I think she mentioned something to him, and he did finally say hi to me by the end of the day, but I was in a rush so I think he thought I was avoiding him =O
Oh well. I was running to get to my key club meeting.
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 6:20 pm
He destroyed my life...
If he does feel like you are ignoring him, that could come to a good outcome.. Then he might realise how you have felt when he done it to you.
It's a good start though.
At least his girlfriend is understanding.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:27 pm
Hehe, we went on after that to go say we'd run away and become gypsies, she being the fortune teller with palm reading, a crystal ball (which we'd pool our money to get), ouiji board, and tarot cards, and I'd be the mystical flute player, since the piece I'm doing for competition is gypsyish. xD
She has a complete understanding, I think. I think she even said something to the effect that he's being a little stupid on the matter.
Tomorrow, though, I won't be such and idiot, and I'll just at least do something to the effect of talking to him. Or actually, maybe if I wait...since we have a half day in two days, then a four day weekend, maybe it'll give both of us time to cool our heads and then be able to talk face to face without getting into a pointless argument, as I tend to do when I don't think things through... xD
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:49 am
He destroyed my life...
I love gypsies. ^_^
I saw a gypsy dancer before, man she was hot. ninja
You should talk ot him at a time you feel appropriate to yourself, if you do rush into it, you may not have all your points worked out.
Then it would become a pointless arguement.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:39 pm
xD Maybe I could learn to be a gypsy dancer and achieve being semi-hot...but I doubt it. I've been told too many times I'm cute like a porcelien doll, not sexy or anything (I've tried...but I get uncomfortable when I wear something too revealing and wind up putting on a sweatshirt over it. xD). =O My other friend who's a senior this year has a renaissance outfit that could double over for a gypsy outfit...maybe...it might be a stretch...but it could work. And then the one running away with me has large hoop earrings I could wear. I'm all set! ^_^
Yeah, I think she said something to him because now all of a sudden he's saying, "Hi Katie, how are you today?" And it was really awkward to go from him not talking to me to having him be all happy and cheery around me. I need to talk to him...after this four day weekend...I'm the type that if this go back to 'normal', I just let them be and leave it no matter how awkward it may be.
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