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 Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 9:40 am
 How long had it been since Raguel could walk freely? As his limbs moved throughout the mushy grass, the stallion felt a strange sensation that he had missed from so many years ago. He hadn't experienced freedom in a long time, and the scars were a visible proof of his demise. There were so many things he needed to do now, so many realities he needed to patch up. But he knew in his heart there was one place that he wanted to be, and that was with his beloved mate, Angel. He needed to see her, smell her, and let her know of the terrible truth that she had missed throughout all of the years. It was his fault; he could not do anything to help her or let her know of what really happened, and that shattered him inside. The other Angeni who bound him created the lies that Raguel continued to survive upon, and it was a terrible reality to know that your existence was based on falseness. He also found himself feeling anxious, wondering if Angel had moved on or found someone else in all of these years. Even though that idea seemed ridiculous, it was hard to keep the negative thoughts of the Raguel's stern mind. It seemed everything around him had been negative for a number of years, and he needed to remind himself of the one happiness he always carried. He was plagued at the moment, and it didn't help that he had no idea where he was. What was this land? And why was he so alone? Was he dreaming?
The land in front of him seemed to be frozen in a cool dawn, and Raguel noticed that the sun was lazily moving itself off the ground as the minutes went by. It was just like old times, when the stallion would watch as the sun would wake itself up from the chilly nights. If only Angel were with him now, then they would truly be united in both atmosphere and emotions. It was just like old times, wasn't it? Was the atmosphere playing with his mind? Or was it revealing a path to the stallion, a path that would lead him to Angel?!
Rather then dwelling in what he was thinking about, Raguel decided to move himself quickly throughout the grove that he was stuck in, and he listened carefully for any hints or sounds that Angel tended to make. Could it be that he had forgotten her lovely songs and scents? No.. no matter how long it had been, the stallion refused to allow himself to think that way. He knew that in his heart lay all of the emotions and memories he knew of Angel, and now he was grasping for them and hoping that he could be reunited very soon to the only mare he could ever love.
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 9:59 am
 A shiver came over her body. It was strange to her and oddly familiar. It had not been caused from the chill in the early morning air. It was a pleasant shiver, one that she usually felt whenever her love was near. But that was not possible. Her body was playing tricks on her, perhaps because of her recent thoughts of Raguel. She had spoken so much of him as of late and thought about him all the more. Now her body instinctively ached for his touch. A soft nuzzle. A n** to her ear. Cruel reminders of what would never be again.
She bit at the grass at her feet but she was so lost in her memories that she did not savor the taste. Chewing and swallowing became reflexive. Even though her son had changed, he reminded her so much of Raguel. Even her grandson had. Everywhere she turned, she seemed to see him in some way. He was always there, haunting her and deep down, she knew she loved it. She did not want to forget him. She could not bear a life without her memories.
Her body was ever cruel. She could almost smell him now. She closed her eyes and raised her head and just took in the scent. It seemed so real. She wanted to stay lost in the moment. She did not want to wake up and go back to reality, where the world that felt so empty. Dear gods, let me just stay in the moment. Don't let me wake up from this dream, she silently pleaded.
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:35 am
Despite Angel's own instinctive feelings and doubts, her prince was on his way, and Raguel was rushing and running at an even faster pace now, and he was moving himself as carefully as he could. It was only seconds ago when he realized he could smell Angel's beautiful scent, and now as he rushed throughout the landscape, he could feel her too! Was this a blessing?! It just had to be! He could sense an immense sadness near him, and he needed to fix whatever Angel was feeling. He couldn't imagine her sad, but he knew that in the many years that had passed, it was an emotion that the mare had surely felt. And it was most likely his fault, and that killed him inside. He had bestowed a terrible sadness upon the mare, and it was his job to fix everything.
Just as he turned himself around a rocky bend, Raguel stopped suddenly in a halt, and his eyes glided onto a silvery figure with hues of red, and it was one that had been lost in his memories for what felt like ages. No.. now wasn't a memory, now it was completely real! What would Angel think of him? He still carried the same look, maybe his hair was a bit messy, and his scars.. surely she would notice those... but would she know it was him?
Kicking himself forward again, Raguel moved himself so that he was only steps away from the mare, and he observed her as she stood with her eyes shut tight. What was she hiding from? Poor Angel.. he couldn't deny how beautiful she looked, her radiance was something he always cherished."Open your eyes, my beautiful." he then said, while feeling his own eyes want to drown in water. Were they seriously this close to each other? He didn't want to touch her just yet, since she would most likely be shocked out of all things. He would tell her everything, but for now, he could only stare with complete happiness. How long had it been since he had felt this way? Oh Angel.. why was she so perfect?
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 1:07 pm
Was something wrong with her? Was she hearing things now? She didn't want to open her eyes. She was afraid nothing would be there when she did. She didn't want to go back to that now that she could almost feel his presence again. She could smell him, gods, now she could even hear him. It was almost like he was really there. But.. there was no way she could remember his voice with such clarity. She was worried that she couldn't remember it at all. Could it be?
Her eyes opened on their own accord. The more she wanted to keep them closed the more she found it impossible. What she saw took her breath away. Had she finally reached the point of madness? Hysteria?
Her eyes ran over the scars that were all over his body. No, she could never have been able to imagine that. "Raguel..." she whispered, searching his dark eyes. It could be none other though he had changed. He was more unkempt than usual and his body.. what had happened to him? Even his gorgeous wings showed signs of wear and tear. He looked like he had flown through a hurricane.
"I thought.." she started but she couldn't say anything more. She couldn't speak for the sobs that she could no longer contain. She stepped closer and laid her head against his neck. She had to feel him. She had to know he was really there though she already knew he was.
"I don't understand," she stated between sobs. "They said.. they said you died. That Gabriel killed you with the others." But he felt alive. He smelled alive. He still felt strong at her side. "How can this be?" Had they brought him back from the dead? Or had he never been dead at all? Raguel would never have left her. The possibility that her brethren could have lied to her never crossed her mind. She had never seen the body.. told it was too mangled.. too horrible. That she should remember him as he was. But his body.. his wings.. what had really taken place? All these questions were running through her head but she dare not speak them.
"I never stopped loving you," she whispered before a batch of fresh tears dampened his neck. He was back. She was not losing her mind. He was here with her now, this was real and that was all that mattered to her.
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:29 pm
He was silent as she spoke, allowing droplets of Angel's tears to drip off his side. He wanted to absorb the moment and enjoy her intense emotion while it lasted. In the many years that had passed, nothing felt as real as this, but now he could truly understand what he had been missing internally. "Hush now, I promise I will explain everything. No reason to cry." He didn't want her feeling sorrowful or sad, but he knew that she needed a moment to take in the current reality. "I am here now and forever." he then added, with a most emphasized smile.
It was still quiet for a moment, until Raguel hushed the mare off his neck, and put his nose sturdily on hers. Her delicate touch.. he couldn't even remember how he had survived all these long years without her skin against hers. "I guess you can call it dying, but you were betrayed I am afraid. There was nothing I could do, I felt shamed knowing that you have been lied to all of this time. There was nothing I could do.." he cut his own voice off, and blinked at her slowly. His eyes were a bit watery, but he was working hard to get rid of the damp feeling that they held. He was just as emotional it seemed, but he knew it was the right time to be feeling that way.
"Gabriel.. I couldn't kill him, and I wouldn't kill him. Despite my orders.. I chose to disobey them. Instead, everyone around me was killed from our son's brutal actions, and the other Angeni at the time cast our son away into what you have seen today. I can't even remember the horrible image from that day, the monster he became. I pray you have not seen it yourself." A slight shiver ran down the stallion's neck, but he quickly continued on with this thought. It was sad imagining Angel's reaction to her son, but Raguel knew to ask her about such things later on. "But all I knew, was that I had failed. And next thing I knew, I was banished and tortured endlessly, since that was the fate of my actions. That's why I wasn't there for you, that's why!"
It was all so dramatic and shameful, and he lowered his ears instinctively from just explaining his words. "I am so sorry, Angel. I never wanted to give you these lies to live with, never. Please forgive me."
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 6:27 am
If any other had said it, she would never believe it but she knew that Raguel would never lie to her. How could they do that to him? To her? To their Gabriel? She felt like half of her had died that day. For years she felt like she lost both her son and her mate, despite her son being alive. And their son, for so long, he carried the blame, believing he had killed his own father! They knew this! They wanted this? Had she not been faithful to her kind? Sure, she and Raguel had given their son a running start, a fighting chance, but who wouldn't for their own son? Could they really judge her so harshly that she too, would be led astray? Led to believe that Raguel had died that day as well?
Here she was, nose to nose to him. She had him back but for how long? Would they come looking for him? Did they let him go? Had he served his punishment? Would they have to live the rest of their lives looking over their shoulders? "Raguel... how did you get free?," she asked curiously.
"Gabriel... I mean.. Reaper. He chooses to be Reaper now.. he needs to know. Oh god, Raguel, he blames himself for your death! He carries the burden so heavily. I have seen him... he is a monster.. but.. he's still our son. He still loves us.. just like he always had. You're a grandfather now.. and...I don't know where to begin." Her voice trailed off into a near hysterical laugh. The entire situation was a lot to take in.
"I can't believe you're back," she whispered after calming back down. "That's what really matters. I thought you were gone from me, forever." The mare felt sad that she couldn't stop crying, wishing she could make the reunion a more joyful one but it had been so very hard on her, thinking Raguel had died. "I am happy, really," she whispered. "So happy. I just can't believe this is real."
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:00 pm
Finally, he could mentally and physically be there to support her in all ways. For now though, he continued to hold her, since it was all he could do to calm her down and bring her into the reality. It felt amazing to be her everything again, and his eyes continued to watch her with immense love and comfort. "It truly was a terrible fate, and you never should have handled it yourself." He couldn't help the decision of the Angeni, and his insides hurt when he remembered all of the silence and pain he felt on those longest nights. He knew that in those silences, Angel was also off by herself, feeling the same pain, if not worse! Raguel remembered shivering when he thought like that, so now it was his duty to calm her down, and answer everything she needed. He wanted to, anyways.
"It felt like ages, but I was held captive, and as you can see.." his pride stung terribly, and the comment did nothing but remind him of his ugly scars and memories. "...I used to have dreams that this experience would make me monstrous." Monstrous.. like their son... His image never left Raguel's mind, and he was only gently lying to Angel. Reaper was a constant reminder of what could be, and what COULD happen. "But then I would remember you, and although it was far away in distance, you kept me sane, Angel. You kept me wanting to be me, always, for you." He once again moved his nose against her neck, and he grunted silently to hide a rush of emotion from her. "It was all worth it, all of the pain those Angeni put me through. But they couldn't crush me, and they realized that not long ago."
Raguel let himself pause for a moment, and he straightened his shoulders out of discomfort from his shameful story. "I thought about escape, I really did. But you know fully well that I understand my duties.. maybe too much." And, after breaking the promise to his other Angeni and protecting his son from death.. Raguel wanted to question his faith to the race and comrades. "I knew that I had to fufill this punishment laid before me, and I did to the best of my ability. I think the other Angeni got sick of me, since they were expecting me to have died mentally ages ago. I just knew I could see you again, I just knew it!" It wasn't like Raguel to believe in 'distant hope' or something out of reality's grasp, but since it was for Angel, it was easy for him to want to believe. In the past, the stallion assumed what he had with Angel was pure love, but the time only proved to him that he adored her more then anyone else could muster and understand. It was so intense that it made him want to overcome the lies, with her, together! "They wanted me to leave because they did not win with their tactics and torture, and they told me I would wither away someday, since I am now 'scarred' and 'broken'. I'd love for them to see me now. I would surely break their spirits!"
Once he had confessed some truths of the past, he listened quietly as she spoke about their son. Angel's voice was hectic, but the stallion was supportive and warm as she finished her words. "It sounds like so much has happened in my absence, and I can't decide if that is a good or bad thing." Or at least.. the fact that Angel had to deal with it all by herself.. "Take your time, please, calm down before you speak anymore. I don't want you to lose your breath." She was far too exhausted from the shock of it all, and the stallion naturally led her to a comforting rock that lay on the side of the small valley. "Rest, I am not going anywhere, ever, and I will not leave your side." Any absence wouldn't do, and at the moment Raguel would stand by her until she realized he was truly there to stay!
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Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:23 pm
His words calmed the mare a great deal. She had all the time in the world to talk to him now and there was no need to feel so nervous. It was Raguel she was with afterall. If ever she felt safe, it was when he was near.
"What you went through must have been far more terrible," she admitted. She was unsure if the wounds he bore was from that terrible fight with Gabriel long ago or if some of it were fresher. He certainly implied they were fresh. How could anyone hurt Raguel like this? He had always been faithful and loyal. They should be able to understand what kind of order that was like for a father. How hard it must have been! Did he even know she had been alive? It must have been hard for him, not knowing. At least she had been told something to believe.. even if it had been a lie.
"They have tried to break our family," she stated, lifting her head with the pride she used to carry many years ago. "They have tried and they have failed. You are alive, we are together, and Gabriel.. he is free." Angel turned her head and looked into the eyes of the stallion she loved with all her heart, "If you had turned into a monster, it would have been because they made you one. I would love you no different. You were always strong. It was good they underestimated you. They underestimated all of us. Their talk of right, what is just. The one thing they forgot was the power of love. The strength in that. It is not something that can be broken!" The mare stomped the ground angrily. It was rare that the mare ever became mad and this was certainly a rare occasion. How dare they try to do this to her family?
Perhaps all three of them were broken to a point. She less physically, of course. All three were now away from the sanctuary in the clouds. Perhaps they were finally done with them. Giving up, so to speak. Letting Raguel free so they can try salvage what was left of their lives. Dare she hope to see good in any of their actions? Actions that had caused all the pain she had ever experienced in her life? Perhaps that was the Angeni in her. Daring to believe in good, perhaps even where it may be absent.
"I met one of our grandsons," she added, "He was beautiful and had such an inner light to him, Raguel. I think you would like him so much. He's conflicted but I think most of that is related to.. events that happened long ago. Three fully grown and three fresh in this world. There's six of them in all. Dante is the only one I've met so far." She would never forget the day she had met him. It had been the first time she had felt happiness in years.
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:45 am
Raguel smiled when he noticed Angel's passion for the situation, and he didn't stop her when she showed her anger. The way she showed anger was different then most, and it always made him smile since he knew it was out of deep concern and love. He only nodded gently as she spoke, realizing that their family was much stronger then anyone could have ever guessed. "It does feel a bit crazy, to know we survived through this all. Even right now, it doesn't feel surprising, but it feels strange to know that our biggest conflict is over." Or.. was it? Raguel still hadn't faced Garbriel, and apparently there were other family members across the landscape. "I worry a bit with what will happen when I see our son. It has been on my mind for ages, and I know I have to prepare myself for that fated meeting as well." There was no reason to hide his conflict from Angel, since he knew she would understand. "Did he say anything out of the ordinary when you spoke with him?"
There was some light in the conversation, and that was when Angel was speaking about this Dante character. It sounded like he had many grandchildren across the land, and that was strangely exciting! "His son isn't like him? That is very interesting indeed." In a sense, Raguel found that hopeful, since he realized it wasn't truly about your parents and how one was raised. It was all an inner conflict, so there was no reason to blame himself for Gabriel's fate. "Six of them.. my, it seems I have a lot of catching up to do." He snugged Angel gently, since he felt a warm sensation from knowing there were so many connections out there for him to explore. "We should go find some others sometime, and enjoy the conversations together." Angel would surely like that idea!
"I meant to ask, when you were up in the clouds during my absence, did the other Angeni treat you alright? I used to have nightmares of everything terrible, and I never wanted you to be harmed yourself." That would have truly been shameful if some Angeni bothered Angel in spite of it all.. "You know me, I worry." And, he would have to take care of some business if they did! Raguel always convinced himself that Angel had enough internal dilemmas to deal with, and that was enough to truly bring the spirit down. He used to yell and question the Angeni that kept him captive, and they would never answer him. Maybe there silence was enough to prove it was alright for her?
"Is this land down here enjoyable?" he then randomly asked, while trailing his eyes around the female. "If our son likes it so much, and same with his offspring, there must be something good about it, right?" Gabriel, even though forced to live down here, could have vanished himself from the mysterious land. If anything, he seemed to do the complete opposite and make himself very noticeable and known! Is this were Raguel and Angel would stay from now on? It was rather cold at the moment, wasn't it? "If this place is always cold, I am not sure if I will enjoy it.." he then said, with a goofy smile. "Its your job to keep me warm!" And vice versa, of course.
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:54 am
She had to agree with him there though she did not voice it. She did not know how their son would react to the knowledge that his father was alive. It would take her awhile to really get used to it. She knew that she would probably wake up for weeks and check to make sure Raguel was really there and not a dream. How would Gabriel take it? While she had to deal with the loss of Raguel, so had her son, only her son also had to deal with the pain and guilt that came from thinking he had killed him. What would he do when he found out that it was not that way? That his father had in fact, been kept away from him and his mother? That it was the same creatures that had punished him for being different? It was a lot for any mare or stallion to bear but Gabriel was stronger than most..
"I was treated well, I suppose. I didn't get a lot of visitors so I was pretty lonely but that was to be expected. They never did approve of Gabriel and though I was not held responsible for what had taken place, I guess I still brought them shame. Like it was my fault that Gabriel wasn't normal." She didn't add that some of the shame probably came from the whispers of 'Raguel failing'. As far as she cared, Raguel hadn't failed at all. Gabriel lived so he had succeeded, even when she thought he had died for it.
"This land.. is amazing. There's good and bad to it of course, but there's so many different races and creatures. I have learned that it won't stay cold for long. That it changes constantly. I have no problem keeping you warm though," she added. Teasing him felt so normal, so right. The mare leaned over and nipped the stallions ear before nuzzling his neck once more. Now that she had him back.. she would make sure that nothing would take him away again.
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 9:00 pm
He instantly let out a breath of relief, since it was wonderful knowing that no other Angeni harmed or abused Angel while she was dealing with the many tragedies in the family. "I understand now that many of the binding Angeni's views are quite flawed and stupid. They assume that any sign of difference makes someone out of the ordinary, which is instantly banned as bad or wrong. I used to believe in everything we Angeni did, following the laws and prayers as a constant way of life. But to see our son betrayed like that.. and to see them betray me in the end as well? I am thankful that we have moved on, and in a way, I am thankful that Gabriel has survived and has lived his own life now, since we all deserve that privilege." And now.. he was in this new land, being just as privileged to be with Angel. He wanted to believe that everything worked out in their current reality, since it was a more happy outlook then the alternative sadness they could always refer to from the past.
Just then, he smiled back at Angel's words, and instantly responded to her affection with a comforting nose-nudge. "Isn't it my job to keep you warm? Ah well, I suppose I will let you take over for a bit." he playfully chuckled, before gazing at the land before him with a serene understanding. "If you are happy here, then I have no doubt that I will also be happy here. You have the good taste you know, I only follow obediantly." he then teased, while knowing very well that he followed her because he wanted to of course! "I guess we have to start a new adventure now, since we have a whole range of family scattered about this landscape." he paused slightly, while feeling a nervous twitch from the thought of seeing his son. But something else made him feel proud, since many generations had flourished in the land Angel spoke so much about. "As long as I have you, I find it hard to fear any kind of family dilemmas. I just hope I can be someone everyone can look up too." Angel was always so good at being a role model, and Raguel was not as confident at the moment, since he was slowly regaining his pride at each coming day.
"Are we grandparents? Or great-grandparents?" His eyes were wide, and he suddenly felt OLD.
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:52 am
Angel could do nothing but nod. She knew that not all Angeni were bad, just as not all were good. Perhaps their little herd had gotten a bit carried away, over-zealous in their beliefs. She could only hope that these experiences would bring them a new perspective. She was extremely mad at them but she did not hate them. She hated their ways. Perhaps there was hope for them yet. They had let Raguel go, after all, right? That had to mean something.
Angel blushed slightly at the stallion's teasing. He had a way of making her feel like a young mare again and she always loved it.
"We are both, Raguel," she responded with a smile. "Yes, I do believe one of our grandkids had some little ones, though they very well may be full grown by now too. What a big family you have come back to eh, though outside of Dante, I haven't had a chance to meet any of them. Perhaps we could do so together... but I think Gabr... I mean Reaper.. I think he really needs to know."
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:44 pm
Raguel wanted to pretend like he had the confidence to approach his son, but for some reason, he just couldn't find it in his heart. Why was he so worried? Had Gabriel changed THAT much?
"I'm afraid I should prepare myself, shouldn't I? Reaper could get violent.. he probably has hated me all this time. He never should have received the punishment that was cast to him.." Raguel would need to shape himself up again, and also strengthen his heart in the process. "Plus, his emotions will probably be filled with too much surprise, since my survival is so shocking." Hm.. and that wouldn't be good either, would it? Unless Reaper had complete control over his emotions.. "But he was alright when you talked to him, right?" he then said, with a bit of hope in his eyes. Maybe he would be glad that Raguel had left the Angeni as well.. and maybe the bond they shared so many years ago would be found once again.
"Here I go again, hoping for some crazy resolution." He sighed, and lowered his head with a smile. "Maybe I just hope to be 'Dad' again." Even though.. he was older now, and that role was not needed anymore! "I've missed being needed!"
Hopefully Angel wouldn't be surprised by his confusing words.. Raguel hadn't become weak as an individual, but he had so much on his mind, and he was hopeful to figure it out with her!
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:10 am
Angel nipped at her mate's neck while attempting to reassure him, "I am certain that Reaper will does not hate you. When I had talked to him he was distant. It was like he was afraid to get close again. He did not attack me though, he showed signs of anger, but I think it was more at his being confused. He loves us still, Raguel." She was certain that her son loved them both. He would probably not admit to it any time soon, but she had sensed it when she had spoken with him. It was hard to predict how he would react to his father being alive. Surely, he would feel relieved on many levels, but it would be so shocking..
"We'll never know what may be until the moment comes," she whispered. "So much time was lost to us that we really shouldn't waste what we have left, especially on worrying."
"Needed? I need you, you big goof," she teased playfully. "I'll always need you," she added a moment later, her tone mixed with both sadness and seriousness. "Never leave me again, Raguel."
She didn't care what hardships came her way. Even if their son over-reacted, who knew what the future would bring. She had Raguel back. Reaper would come around if he did not do so at first. They would have a big family, one way or another and they would get their life back. She was convinced of this.
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:10 am
If there was one thing he loved about Angel, it was that she was always the best at making him feel better. No matter what the occasion, her words were a constant reminder of why he was still alive. They were always a balance, and for such a long time Raguel had left Angel to fend on her own. But now since they were back together, the stallion was rest assured that things really would be alright, since the balance was finally back for time to come. He could feel his heart grow stronger by the minute, and he was absolutely comforted by this fact.
"I will always stand by you, and I shall do so so much that it might bug you." he then teased, while allowing his nose to get lost in her mane. "I will not leave, ever." he then said after a pause, with a comforting tone. He knew Angel meant her words, and he truly meant his own. They playful attitudes towards each other were just a reminder of the love they shared, and as he stood next to Angel he continued to feel younger again.
"But you are right, no need to dwell on what is to come. I want to focus on you, and on this moment." He raised his head again, and looked deeply into Angel's eyes. "Is there anything I can get for you?" he was her knight, loyal and true. "Or even, do for you?" His smile was goofy but playful, and patted his wings against hers in a loving fashion. "I will always be completely at your service." He felt military, and it was reminding him of his older days with the other Angeni. But now, his service was only to her, and that was how it should have always been.
If there was one regret the stallion had, it was that he didn't realize that soon enough..
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