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 Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:23 pm
**This is one of the reasons I have been neglecting all you girls. Sorry. D':
Also, try not to judge me here. ):
Okay, so I have two friends. Let's call them 1 and 2.
1 and 2 do drugs, as did I until a few days ago (don't spazz, it was only pot).
I know that 1, my best friend, does more than pot. And I have no problem with that most the time.
However, 2 is new to all this and was only doing pot. But she was doing it like... everyday. And that DID bother me, but I chose not to say anything.
But lately, 2 is lying to people, avoiding people, and just acting like a jerk. And it's been making me mad.
I wasn't going to say anything about it because she wasn't acting too weird around me or lying to me. At least, that's what I thought.
The other week at school, we were planning to hang out. And I was like "Okay, how about Friday night?" She said "No.. I have to go do some family thing..." So we decided Saturday night would be best. I'd go to 2's house for a sleepover. 1 would be there too.
Later that day, I found out that on Friday night, she was going to a party with 1, and not doing a family thing after all. I felt bad that she lied to me, but I decided not to say anything until Saturday.
When Saturday finally came, I tried to call 2 on the phone before coming over, just to be polite, and like.. to confirm that the sleepover was still okay. I got the busy signal. No big deal, right? After calling multiple times over the course of a few hours, I still only got the busy signal. So I kinda gave up. The phone must have been off the hook.
Later, 2 signs into MSN, so I IM her, and ask if she still wants me to come over, and she says no and that her and 1 are about to go to bed. Weird, considering it was still pretty early and that they're both night owls. So I say that it's okay, and that we'll hang another time. I then block her, just for the hell of it.
She stayed online for about 5 hours. e_e;
So you can imagine I was a bit upset. I'm a very paranoid person, so I thought that they might have been mad at me, or maybe they didn't like me anymore, etc.
The next few days at school, I don't see them at all. But my other friend who went to the party on Friday told me that 1 had given 2 Ecstasy. I was furious.
I wasn't mad at 1 for doing E, but rather for giving it to 2! 2 is very impressionable, has a highly addictive personality, and doesn't exactly have a mind of her own. So I decided to talk to her alone. About how she's been ignoring some of her clean friends, how she's been smoking way too much pot and skipping too many classes, and how she shouldn't do hard drugs.
Well, another one of my friends decided to talk to her after I did, and 2 said "Oh, yeah. I think Alex (me) tried to talk to me about that earlier... I wasn't even listening though, she was being kinda cheesy. I don't know why you guys care so much, it's my life!"
So yeah, I IM'd her that night telling her that we are no longer friends. :
I also decided that I didn't want anything to do with 1, either. I didn't know how to tell her, because if I told her face to face, I'd end up crying... I hate crying in public. D:
I ended up writing her a note during my 1st classthe other day, but it was very bitchy, and I didn't know if I wanted to give her it. But I did, because I saw her while I was going to my 2nd class. X___X;; To say the least, I felt very bad for the rest of the day.
She wouldn't even look or talk to me. We ignored eachother for the rest of the week.
She IM'd me Saturday night saying how she wanted a magazine back, blah blah... And we ended up talking. First, we were just fighting and stuff.. But then we kind of started getting along again. We decided that we should talk in person, most likely tomorrow.
But I don't know if I should remain her friend or not!! DX I don't want to be enemies with her, and that's my biggest fear.
Can I get some advice pretty please? Also, thank you for reading all this! <333
(Yes, I quit pot after seeing what happened to 2. I smashed my pipe, no worries.)
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:30 pm
 Good for you for quitting!
It's also good that you are trying to help out your friend. (Or your not friend.) But, there is only so much you can do. She has to decide for herself whether or not to quit. I hope she does. But if she doesn't, don't blame it on yourself. It's not your fault.
I don't know what to do about 1. I'm not that great at advice-giving. Hopefully Chibi or Sagey will come along and save the day and tell you some good advice.
Sorry I can't help out more.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:33 pm
Okies, let's see. Well, I don't really condone of drugs of a recreational sort, and I congratulate you on stopping [even if it was for unpleasant reasons!]. But I rather expect that's now what you're interested in hearing right now, so let's get on to the good stuff.
First of all, I think you did the correct thing in cutting off contact with 2. Quite frankly, she does not sound interested in listening to what you have to say about health. Sadly, you cannot make her listen, and all remaining friends with her would do is put stress on you from worrying about her. Most likely, the reason you weren't invited over on Saturday night was because she knew you would disapprove. On a downward spiral, people tend to try and cut off contact with those who could pull them back up. Someday [hopefully before it's too late], she might come to her senses.
Secondly, I think you should keep an open mind about what happens tomorrow. Don't go into it with your mind made up about 1. Just see what she says and look at the chemistry between the two of you. Then at the end of your conversation, tell her you need a few days to think and then do so. Really evaluate your friendship - why are you friends with her? is the friendship equal? is she someone you would want to be friends with now if you just met? are you really friends or are you just holding on? Once you can answer those questions, I think you'll know your answer.
P.S. - just because you're not friends doesn't mean you'll be enemies. You can still be casual acquantinces that aren't really friends.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:39 pm
He destroyed my life...
Sorry, I have no advise, but I know how hard it is to stop being friends with your bestfriend.
It's been well over a year since I broke up with my best friend, and I still miss her REALLY bad.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:47 pm
Thank you for the advice, everyone!!
I will keep an open mind while talking to 1... -nod-
Thank you all for being so understanding and non-judgmental, because I was very hesitant about posting this topic.. @_@;;
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:54 pm
Well, I, for one, could go off on a rant about how drugs are evil and so forth. I think anyone could, either for or against them. But what you needed was advice about your friends... so the point about drugs doesn't really matter. My answer would have been the same whether 1 and 2 were into alcohol or sex or whatever.
Besides, you can talk to us about anything. ^^
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:54 pm
Remember, you're in the pps, dear, not n00bs anonymous.
We try to understand.
I'm like very against drugs so I didn't want to post. ><
Congrats for quitting though.
I'm proud of you.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:58 pm
Haha, yes, drugs are bad. I learned the hard way. ):
Thank you, Volly. I feel bad for keeping this from you...
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:12 pm
He destroyed my life...
I can't have a go about drugs and stuff.
At the "worst" point of my depresson (I refuse to admit I have it now >_<) I used alot of different drugs, almost killing myself from it.
I used to OD on morphiene(sp?) alot, and some others.
But then it was the breakdowns that messed my head up, not the drugs.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:22 pm
-Hugs- It's okay, I understand, Vampyre. sad
I have lots of friends who have had the same problem.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:25 pm
I'm for a certain drug (pot, for medicinal health reasons. I'm a glaucoma suspect and it very well could be good for me.) but I'm pretty against all drugs and that includes prescription. I've very much against prescription drugs and I don't think people should take them but whatever.
It is really hard not being friends with anyone. I had to deal with that months to a year ago and it really sucks. But afterwards you get used to it and you'll find better more trusting friends..
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:26 pm
Rocket Surgeon
-Hugs- It's okay, I understand, Vampyre. sad
I have lots of friends who have had the same problem.
*Hugs back*
I'm a good girl now! ^_^
I don't do drugs, I don't smoke and I don't drink!
Plus my boyfriend takes extra care of me to make sure I would never do harm to myself. >_<
Still tempting though, when things get really bad.
Now I will destroy him.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:44 pm
@Rai: I tend to cling to people... A lot. ):
@ Vampyre: That's good. :3
Drugs suck, smoking is gross, and drinking... isn't so bad. xP; (Unless it's excessive~)
It's nice that you have someone suppporting you, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to say that.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:50 pm
Rocket Surgeon
Haha, yes, drugs are bad. I learned the hard way. ):
Thank you, Volly. I feel bad for keeping this from you...It's fine. I'm guilty of the same thing. I kinda tried to keep my depression from everybody. I'm still hiding my chronic melancholy from my father and brother. Which is easy because I never see them.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 5:48 pm
Rocket Surgeon
@Rai: I tend to cling to people... A lot. ):
@ Vampyre: That's good. :3
Drugs suck, smoking is gross, and drinking... isn't so bad. xP; (Unless it's excessive~)
It's nice that you have someone suppporting you, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to say that.
Drinking always let out memories I had locked away.
So I don't drink anymore.
After the last time, I had a break down, and while still in my breakdown, I took my driving test. >_<
I passed, so yay me!
Now I will destroy him.
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