Welcome to Gaia! ::

But a ******** STUDENT COUNSELOR? Holy freaking crap.

Yeah. I have one. Assigned by the freshmen who hate my guts. Yeah. Because most of them ( all but like three or four) are such lazy pieces of crap they won't even console me personally so they send other people to do it.
I broke out crying today. My depression is back in action, folks. My pessimistic views, my shoot myself in the back of the head mentality, yep. Back. I made the mistake of saying I was contemplating suicide. Well by george,it'll be the news of ******** Newberry by tomorrow. EVERYBODY will know. They'll probably tell my parents who will either laugh or think they raised a screw up. Bye bye perfect daughter. Hello there retard who can't keep enough water in her body ever because it all comes out the eyes.
Well I'm about sick of these people having this false pity. This pity that is so fake, Barbie couldn't challenge it. Yeah so they sent someone to send me notes and tell me "You've got so much to live for, girlfriend."
Well you know what? Why didn't you think that way when you all plainly stated how much you HATED me. That's what I'd like to know from them.
I'm too much of a damn chicken to do the deed. I see things WAY differently than others do. That's why I fit in with nobody. There's a point called TOO unique. I can't find anybody who likes the same stuff I do or that understands whatever I mean when I have these philosophical bursts.
It's like I have philosophical Tourettes. I can't stop them. they just flood. flood. flood. flood.
Sometimes I think i'm too good to be with them. Too high and mighty. Too smart, and yet too philosophical, yet too dumb, yet too absolutely insane.
I'm Edgar Allen Poe on Speed, and minus a few male organs. And he died early. And wrote dark poems. But I love him. Why? Because he was on my level. But guess what? Dead.
The thing that irks me most is my friends.
I know they mean well, but Imean seriously! One of my bffs (supposedly) was telling me how to kill myself without evidence. "You can either starve yourself or die of thirst. Either way works."
I just about screamed.
Holy ******** cow.
Just let it end now. They didn't even talk to me, they were so absorbed in anime, until I started bawling my eyes out. Then I think I gave them a headache.
I'll stop whining now. And I don't know what I'm looking for in posting this.
It's not to hear that the others are full of crap, or to hear that same old "You are a true jewel. You must live to show others that" speech.
I don't know what I'm looking for.
><
I just...Need to state the ramblings of an insanely screwed up human being that was definately wired the wrong way. I apologize for the inconvennience.

I'm sorry, Volly. :/ I'm sorry that we can't be there with you in person when you're going through such a difficult time. It's hard to go through school feeling more mature than your classmates. I felt that way, too. If it helps, it often seems to stabilize itself by the time you get to college or university. Seeing as how that's a ways off for you, I don't know if it will or not.

I won't give you the 'you are an individual' speech. But I will say that if you can't do it for you... do it to show them what they missed out on, you know? And that sense of being a chicken to kill yourself... that's the part of you that really wants to live. I know this for a fact.

If you'd like to talk, I'm available, anytime, by PM or MSN. Just say the word, Volly-babe.

He destroyed my life...


No inconvenience at all my dear.
First off, if you feel you would like to talk to someone philosophically, my ex is the guy to talk to.. I never understood half the stuff he said. And he would just be happy to have a girl talking to him! biggrin Edgar Allen Poe sounds familiar, I think my ex spoke about him alot...
And to be honest, I am glad that you say you are too much of a chicken to kill yourself.
Volly, you started this guild, you brought all the girls together, and through that you have created something great for all of us!
We would all be DEVISTATED if something happened to you!
We all love you, and the kids at school are all dickheads. ninja
You are too great and smart and deep thinking for them and that is why they act toward you the way they do.
And your parent will only worry if they find out about what you said.

Love you Volly!

Now I will destroy him.

D: Well if you don't want that kind of speech... Then how about this:

Volly if you kill yourself I'm gonna revive you back from the ******** dead to KICK YOUR a**! scream

Does that work?

No?

If you kill yourself I'm shoving my size 12 high heel so far up your corpse you'll feel it up in heaven.

3nodding

This will either make you think I'm psycho, or make you laugh a little.

Either way, I'd be devastated to see you gone ;-;

You've got the entire PPS here supporting you ;-; You know you can always come to us to lean on heart

You know you can come to any of us and we'll be here to feed you muffins and carry you x3

Why?

Because we love our Volly heart

Seriously, though.. If you die I'm kicking your a**.

Uh...thanks sage?
O.O;

You're welcome! <3333

I say it with the utmost of love x3

@Kat: *high fives* xD Yay for... butt-kicking of love? o-O;

It's called tough love. xD Except... it's more 'violent' love.

Volly! I'm sorry I haven't been around and I'm so sorry about what's going on with you IRL!

First off, do NOT kill yourself! Even if it seems like a good idea... it's not. Because this will all pass, believe it or not. I know that people are jerks, I know. You will eventually find people that you can trust and they will love you for you. Please, believe me. I have thought about suicide many times, but I know that I will never do it.

Just remember, you always have me to talk to! You always have US to talk to!
This whole guild loves you, Volly! And that's not a lie.

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