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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:36 pm
Okay, I've been reviewing Lonewolf's book, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. So, I'll be giving my reviews on each chapter here. Stay tuned, I'll be updating frequently.
Okay here's a breakdown of how I review. After I read a chapter, I write up a review immediately while its still fresh in my head. I write my thoughts, a few critics, and basically yammer on about it. Then I break it down into the ADHD CO, my rating areas.
Action: How much action and cool fight scenes there are and how well they are done.
Drama: Dramatic material such as people dying, losing loved ones, sad memories, and such. There's plenty to be found.
Humor: Anything that makes me laugh, chuckle, or grin... simple.
Detail: This is where the writer starts getting critized instead of the chapter. I rate how much detail there is, how well the scene is set. Paint a picture with words. If I can see it in my mind with high clarity, then it gets a high score.
Captivity: I have ADD, which is where the ADHD rating started. Ha! But because I have it, I have a hard time focusing and my mind wonders occasionally. But if something holds my intrest for a long time or for the entire length, then I say it is captivating.
Overall Rating: I add up the scores and rate based off that.
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:38 pm
Chapter 1 Review
It was a dark a stormy night, I sat down and began to write a review; we begin with a quick escape scene that is like a mixture between Aladdin and Jackie Chan. I'm glad to say that I can clearly see little Lonewolf now. A good job of editting on Lonewolf's part. I think he moved a piece from chapter 2 to chapter 1 but I can't say for sure. The chapter has enough substance and length to be a decent chapter. I think that the clarity of the character images inhance the chapter a great deal.
Action: 1/5
Drama: 1/5
Humor: 0/5
Detail: 2/5
Captivity: 3/5
Overall Rating: 2/5
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:39 pm
Chapter 2 Review
Okay, much more happening in this chapter. The fight scenes are quite detailed, I can follow the movements clearly and fluidly. Here really wasn't any drama here either, so I decided to use romance instead, since it replaces drama quite well I think. Not enough details on the characters. I know they say looks aren't everything, but I don't like trying to image what 15 year old Lonewolf looks like. What's he wearing? How big is he? What's his hair look like? Same goes for Stephanie. These are all question that temporarally destracted me, thus lowering the captivity score. I feel like if Lonewolf simply described in detail what our characters looked like then I'd be compelled to give this chapter a higher rating. The scenery and actions are very detailed! I feel like I'm in the scene with Lonewolf. All in all, this was a very touching chapter, it warms the soul with the kind of true love usually only found in The Princess Bride, one of the best movies ever made. I think that if the characters were as detailed as the scenery, I'd be more content with the chapter. Now for the ratings.
Action: 2.5/5
Romance (temporarally replacing drama): 3.5/5
Humor: 2/5
Detail: 2/5
Captivity: 2/5
Overall Rating: 2.5/5
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:40 pm
Chapter 3 Review
Boy this is a long one. Rapier sliced off a head? That just bothered me. But for the sake of magic, I let it slide. Moving on. Since Lonewolf didn't provide warnings for his chapter, I feel it is my job, albet a little late, to give the warning: WARNING: This chapter is gut-wrenching. A complete flip fromthe warm touchy feeling of last chapter, this will make you cry or at least feel ill. This is a very dramatic scene, and probably one of the only times where I wish Lonewolf left out a few details. Grab a hankie and sit down, for Chapter 3 is a chapter of drama.
Action: 4/5
Drama: 5/5
Humor: 1/5
Detail: 3.5/5
Captivity: 3.5/5
Overall Rating: 3.5/5
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:42 pm
Chapter 4 review
This is a sad and rather creepy chapter. Its only two days before Lonewolf and Stephanie's wedding, but there's more going on then that. With Mortamus gradually losing his mind, it is clear that he is going from a regular jerk, to a malicous villian. As for Rakku... well, it is heart-breaking. Good use of words, very detailed, a quick touch of romance between Lonewolf and Stephanie lightens the moods, but it is cut short as the scene changes view.
Action: 0/5
Drama: 5/5
Humor: 0.5/5
Detail: 5/5
Captivity: 4.5/5
Overall Rating: 3.5/5
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:43 pm
Chapter 5 review
What a twisted chapter this is. Mortamus's character is finally flushed out in full color, there is no doubt about who and what he has become. This chapter is truely heart turning. A lot of drama but unfortunately, I had to do a little bit of imagining to get the feel of Lonewolf, as I've never had such an experience happen to me. I understand that Lonewolf knows the feeling, but I think you could have flushed it out a tiny bit more for those of us without painful experiences like that. But back to the story. Lonewolf's little speech was truely heart-warming, a nice romantic touch. But the back stabbing, it was so torturous to read. The details you put in the outfits, and such was fantastic. Now for the ratings. (Due to lack of humor, Humor rating will be once again replaced by Romance)
Action: 1.5/5
Drama: 4.5/5
Romance: 3.5/5
Detail: 5/5
Captivity: 4/5
Overall Rating: 4/5
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:45 pm
Chapter 6 review
A good pick-me-up from chapter 5. I'm enjoying the fore-shadowing placed through-out the chapters. Chapter 6 is short but is does the job. Lonewolf needed some words of advice and a slap in the face (so to speak) to get over himself and move on. I think Ch.6 provides this. Not much to say about this chapter, its short, and basically serves as a transition chapter.
Action: 1/5
Drama: 2/5
Humor: 1/5
Detail: 3.5/5
Captivity: 4/5
Overall Rating: 2.5/5
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:46 pm
Chapter 7 review
Chapter 7, wow! What a turning point. It looks like we're finally leaving the city Lonewolf grew up in. A pirate. What are odds? Very detailed. I cannot convey the deep sense of submersion I felt while reading this. Entering the Captain's room, I could smell the rum and cigar, which was not pleasent at all for me, and I could see the room. All well explained. And introducing two new, but very importent, characters. I loved it. No real action though. I would have enjoyed reading about some of pirate Lonewolf's adventures on the high seas, but this book really isn't about that, now is it? Pretty funny bits, no drama, but very engrossing, great captivity, all-in-all a thoroughly enjoyable chapter.
Action: 1/5
Drama: 1/5
Humor: 3/5
Detail: 5/5
Captivity: 5/5
Overall Rating: 3/5
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:49 pm
Chapter 8 review
Again, not much action or drama, but the humor helps to compensate for that. Plus this is the point in the story where we are making a big transition. Things are going to be different from here on out. You can feel it as you read. I especially enjoy Aerial's scenes, too much fun. I laugh every time. There was some very cool lines in this chapter too. "On the contrary, I'm that desperate to live." wowwie Lonewolf, that's deep. Still very good on details, I could see the life on the ship deck. Yo-ho-ho dude. But enough my tom-foolery, on with the ratings!
Action: 1/5
Drama: 1/5
Humor: 5/5
Detail: 4.5/5
Captivity: 5/5
Overall Rating: 3.5/5
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:51 pm
Chapter 9 review
Awesome chapter. I can't can't give many points for drama, or action still, but there was something else. Something.... compeling. Something that doesn't fit the other categories. I'm not sure what it is, but it makes for good story telling. I was very engrossed inthe story, until I had to look up sardonic, but that's my fault for not knowing it. I enjoyed humor instilled on the scene with Aerial and especially Majik. You did a wonderful job of using the technique known as comedic foil. Very funny bits. The tavern scene= awesome. The discovery of the plains scene= beauty. The Majik scenes= hahaha. Bravo on the tavern owner's dialogue, good use of accent, something that is actually hard to do sometimes. On with the review.
Action: 1/5
Drama: 2/5
Humor: 5/5
Detail: 5/5
Captivity: 4.5/5
Overall Rating: 3.5/5
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:52 pm
Chapter 10 review
Oh cool. Let's see, I'm still trying to think of what that missing story element is that has made the past 4 chapters so enjoyable. Once I figure it out, I'll come back and edit my ratings to accomidate it. But for now let's work with what we have. Still, no action, no real drama, but plenty of humor. The plot is moving along smoothly, but not too fast. I'm enjoying the slow pace, which makes me feel like I'm reading a publishable book. Lonewolf's writing has visably improved as he writes his story. Once again I must give high props to Lonewolf's detailed settings. Very nice. Explaining, the place , the people, what they arewearing, even the facial expressions and gestures. All very well done. I felt like I was sucked into the world. I may have to adjust my Rating system. Although I can't give high marks on my ADHD-CO scale, I feel that there is much more to the chapter now, which is why I encourage people to READ THE REVIEWS first.
Action: 0/5
Drama: 1/5
Humor: 3/5
Detail: 5/5
Captivity: 4/5
Overall Rating: 3/5
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:54 pm
Chapter 11 review
Well this was another entertaining chapter. I highly recommend no drinking while reading, that bit with the boom and Majik made me spit out the water I was drinking, I barely missed my computer. Anyways, quite funny. Once again, the details are immaculate. Even explaining the use of hot wax sealing, Lonewolf sparred no detail. I'm starting to wonder if I'm grading to lightly. I've read many other books, usually with much more detail, but the detail usually goes on and on and eventually I don't care and start scanning instead. But I think Loneowlf provides just enough detail to provide an image, without boring you with excess information. The name Bogey Baglebottom is still one of the funny names I've ever heard in my life. He is a very fun character to read. Speaking of characters, Lonewolf is maintaining a good job of individualized dialogue. Like the Inn Keeper, I could hear her sweet country accent clear as a bell. Moving on to the ratings.
Action: 1/5
Drama: 1/5
Humor: 4/5
Detail: 5/5 (again!)
Captivity: 4/5
Overall Rating: 3/5
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:55 pm
Chapter 12 review
I really liked this chapter. It may not have been action filled, dramatic, or humoress, infact it pretty much get a low rating everywhere. BUT I enjoyed the different point of view. About time we mix things up a bit. It was very enlighting. Although I think that an entire year passing is a bit disappointing, I suppose it is a fair amount of time for a guild to become stablized and such. Perhaps we'll get to see that missing year in a flashback, maybe? Well, my favorite thing about this chapter is how much it filled me in on. It introduced three new characters and introduced them well, although Pana was left a little shady, I guess that's for a reason though. Majik was flushed out in more color and I feel like he has progressed more as an asset rather than JUST comedic relief. I was disappointed at how Aerial was left out. Did he really not change at all over the pass year? Nothing? Oh well, other then that, I was quite pleased with the chapter. It was short, but illuminating. I feel that the characters and the guild are really brought into the light now, and I can see and understand things much better. Overall very short, but pleasently portrayed. I hope I get to read more of Lonewolf's jounal entries.
Action: 0/5
Drama: 0/5
Humor: 0/5
Detail: 4.5/5
Captivity: 4/5
Overall Rating: 1.5/5
PERSONAL NOTE: although the ratings are low, it was an enjoyable chapter that I had fun reading.
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:57 pm
Chapter 13 review
Ha! An excellent introduction to Hajimate. It was pleasing, I noticed a few typos, but then again, my reviews aren't typo free either. The scene played out quite smoothly and was easy to visualize. I commend you for that. The chapter was just long enough. Good length for me, but then again, I have ADD. Anywho, good details, and nice job showing what was happening instead off saying what was happening. Not always easy to do.
Action: 0/5
Drama: 0/5
Humor: 1/5
Detail: 5/5
Captivity: 4/5
Overall Rating: 2/5
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Ocarina dude Vice Captain
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