1. A typical ninja wakes up before the sunrise. This is due to the fact that ninjas are actually responsible for causing the sun to rise. The sun actually refuses to move from it's downright position unless all the world's ninjas do kick-a** morning stretches in unison. This is because the sun is not only picky, but has bitchin' taste in entertainment. There are few things cooler than watching a clan of ninja doing aerial stunts in the morning.
2. A ninja's favorite breakfast cereal is the Cheerio. Cheerios, in the right hands, can be used as caltrops, projectiles, and can even be placed in a trail as to lure some unsuspecting fellow into a trap. It also adds fiber to a ninjas diet, and is a heart-healthy addition to any meal. A ninja is nothing if not health-conscious.
3. All-black attire, while incredibly cool at any time, is not the official uniform of the ninja. A modern day ninja wears jeans and a T-shirt. Although, ninjas do still wear the black suit occasionally. I mean, it does look friggin' awesome.
4. All ninjas drink milk, go to school, and don't do drugs. This is because ninjas care about today's youth and wish to be excellent role models.
5. Being a ninja isn't all about assassination. There are random killings in there as well.
6. Despite popular believe, ninjas and pirates do not inherently hate each other. Although, a long-standing rivalry has been forged due to multiple debates over "who's cooler". Ninjas and pirates have come into an agreement over time: they really don't care.
7. All ninjas can jump at least three times their own hight into the air, and stand effortlessly on even the smallest tree branch. How is this possible?: practice, practice, practice.
8. In the hands of a ninja, anything is a weapon. Pencils, compact disks, bars of deodorant; all can be by a ninja for assassination. This fact had often been debated in the past by former Head of Science Frank Dogol. This fact hasn't been debated since Frank was assassinated with a head of cabbage.
9. All ninjas are capable of dodging bullets, and the most experienced ninjas can grab a bullet out of the air. However, it is proven that a not even a ninja can dodge obnoxious car dealers.
10. All ninjas are trained in the proficient assassination of obnoxious car dealers.
11. In every instance except for one, ninjas have only stolen chickens. The one exception was a small recipe procured from a colonel somewhere in Kentucky many years ago. Incidentally, it is a well known fact that the head of KFC is, in fact, a ninja.
12. Ninjas, like any established club, have regular meetings on Wednesdays at local bowling alleys.
13. The undisputed leader of ninjas everywhere, and interestingly enough the tidiest ninja in the world, is Mr. Clean.
14. Ninjas giggle compulsively at the mention of the word "masticate".
15. Even ninjas think that Ryan Seacrest is pretty gay.
16. A true ninja cannot be captured on film unless sitting sill, because film only captures pictures at a rate of 30 frames a second, and a ninja moves, on average, at 30,000 frames per second. 12,000 frames on a bad day.
17. Ninjas hate lists that go to 101. It is popular ninja belief that if a person can amass 101 articles to go on a list, they can drop one thing to make the number even. They're kinda obsessive compulsive like that.
18. Ninjas are responsible for 99% of all the unsolved mysteries on the once popular television show "Unsolved Mysteries". The other 1% confuses the s**t out of them.
19. Ninjas are immune to bullets, fire, drowning, and many other things that would kill a normal person. Their one real weakness? Any song by Ashlee Simpson.
20. All ninjas smell strongly of flowers. This has nothing to do with their diet or religious practice, they just like smelling good.
