LJ Entry Link: http://tanxuelei.livejournal.com/12203.html#cutid1
Title: Utterly Random Events.
Rated: PG
Category: Crack, Drabble
Form: Oneshot
Genre: Humour
Pairings: YunJae, YooSu, a little bit of YunHoXSeulGi
A/N: I started this yesterday night after 12am? xD I wanted to type up some fanfic but didn't know what. Headed to the DBSK W-inds. BFF community and saw a post with Keita and ChangMin in it. Then I felt like typing crack or drabble fanfiction, I felt like I was in a nonsense mood hahar. Don't kill me for this kay? xDD It's long, but...funny. Couldn't stop laughing as I typed this!
Translation!
Hyung <= What a younger male adresses an older one
Unnie <= What a younger male adresses an older female
Bokko <= South Korean Night CLub Dance
The Way U Are <= A DBSK song, related to YooChun's gambling addiction, watch MV to understand hahar.
Songs used when YunHo was in the car.
Mad World by Gary Jules.
They're Coming To Take Me Away by Dr. Demento
__________________________________________________________
YooChun burst through the large double doors.
"IT'S YOOSU TIME!"
JunSu slaps his face in horror.
"HO NOES~!"
"HO YES~!"
YooChun frantically hip thrusts his way to JunSu whose on the couch.
"NOOOOOOOO! DON'T DO IT!"
JunSu wriggled around on the sofa like a dolphin stuck on the beach.
YooChun pinned him to the couch and made Micky Mouse noises.
The kitchen doors blasted open and a ray of light shot out.
YunHo stomped through the doorway, arms outstretched, head up high, JaeJoong holding onto YunHo's right leg for dear life.
"AND GOD SAID, LET THERE BE LIGHT!" YunHo shouted.
All of the sudden a white robe appeared on YunHo's muscular body.
JaeJoong gasped at such a holy sight.
YunHo began to ascend to the heavens above dragging JaeJoong along with him by the leg.
"NOOOOOOO! HE'S MINE! GOD HE'S NOT YOURS! HE'S MIIINE!"
JaeJoong held onto YunHo legs and buried his head in between the feet, anchoring him down.
YunHo made swimming actions with his arms towards the hole in the ceiling.
Stripped of all his clothes, JunSu pushed YooChun off him and stared in horror at the religious experience that YunHo was having.
"NOOOO! WHY DOES YUNHO HYUNG GET TO ASCEND TO THE HEAVENS?!"
JunSu ran towards YunHo and climbed up the human rope - JaeJoong and YunHo.
Squashing JaeJoong's perfect procelian face at the process.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUNSU YOU N00B!" JaeJoong made biting actions to the foot that just squashed his face.
JunSu carried on climbing onto YunHo's robes while still being stark naked.
"JUNSU! GET YOUR DUCK BUTT BACK HERE!" YooChun called from the floor.
ChangMin ran into the scene in armour, carrying a bigass sword and a heavy shield.
"RAWR! I R GODS MESSENGER AND JUNSU WILL NOT ASCEND TO THE HEAVENS NOR WILL YUNHO, BUT MEEEEEEEEEEE!"
ChangMin made swishing noises with his plastic toy sword and threw his yellow-blue-red shield over his shoulder.
"CHANGMIN THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! GET BACK TO WATCHING YOUR SPECIAL VIDEOS YOU UNHOLY THING!" JaeJoong
shrieked.
"NOO I WILL NOT!"
ChangMin jabbed his blunt harmless sword into JaeJoong's sides, JaeJoong cried out in pain.
YunHo carried on looking up into the heavens ignoring JunSu's dingaling that was hanging above his head.
JunSu jumped madly while still on top of YunHo's head, amazing that he could still be on YunHo's head all this time.
YooChun ran into the scene and headbutted YunHo's floating body. However it failed. YooChun was flung back to the couch and knocked
unconcious.
Suddenly something massive came out from the hole in the ceiling. And the hole closed up immediately afterwards.
The boys was sprawled across the floor dazed, wondering what hit them.
The massive thing exploded and incinerated all their clothes off, and then there naked bodies were covered up again with their Balloons
costumes.
YooChun came back into conciousness first and eyed groggily at the glowing stranger.
The stranger turned out to be Bae SuelGi, in flashy clothing and a tiara covered in chunks of diamonds.
She held out her hand. YooChun noticed her nails were jewel encrusted and stared at them in awe.
A sudden burst of light shone directly into YooChun's eyes blinding him temporarily.
YooChun rubbed his eyes back into focus and saw SeulGi and the other members in positions ready for dancing.
YooChun joined the group and looked at the other others. He noticed the others eyes were glistening with delight. And they seemed like
they were grinning out of control.
Bokko dance music started playing and then suddenly all of their bodies were possessed by the spirits of G.O.D.
They danced to the beat of the music following SeulGi's moves, who was in front.
The room melted and became a stage and fangirls and fanboys were seen right before their eyes cheering for them, holding banners of
each member stark naked, but with their privates covered in love hearts.
None of the guys on stage were disturbed by such an experience. They carried on dancing and grinning helplessly at the audience.
"IS THERE ANY END TO THIS?!" ChangMin shouted to the unnie in front.
SeulGi looked back past her shoulder and gazed into ChangMin's and smiled sweetly.
"No, I'm afraid there is not."
She batted her lashes to the blushing teenager and then turned back to the crowd.
The music stopped and SeulGi turned around to the amazed YunHo.
She appeared before YunHo's eyes in a brides dressing gown holding a bouqet of multicoloured flowers and smiled sweetly to the man in
front of her.
YunHo took SeulGi's hands into his own and put them on his heart.
A tuxedo spurted out from the back of YunHo along with black wings.
SeulGi batted her eyelashes and stared into YunHo's eyes.
"I love you..."
Pure white wings sprouted from the back of SeulGi and the couple flew into the heavens above, where cute flying doves awaited for them.
The others gazed at the now mutated couple as they flew into the heavens.
"I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL SEULGI UNNIE!" ChangMin roared, shaking his fist up at the two.
"NOOO! THAT'S MY YUNHO!" JaeJoong jumped at his spot and tried making actions where he hoped would cause wings to sprout from his
back.
YooChun and JunSu held onto each other lovingly as they looked on above at the two, eyes glistening with hope.
Just then JaeJoong sprouted wings from his back. The wings were bones with a couple of feathers still attatched, covered in blood.
"I'M COMING YUNNIE!" JaeJoong exclaimed.
He flapped his bones and soared into the sky at top speed.
The pair stopped and looked down at JaeJoong.
YunHo held JaeJoong's head in the palm of his hands.
"JaeJoong, your wings have not matured enough to fly." YunHo cooed in a soothing tone.
"WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JUNG YUNHO!" JaeJoong's face was skeptic.
"What I'm saying is that we were not meant to be..."
With that YunHo planted a kiss on JaeJoong's head and flew up again with SeulGi into the hole, which the closed up seconds after the two
entered.
YunHo felt something burn on his left cheek.
"WE'RE NOT MEANT TO BE NOW ARE WE?!"
YunHo awoke from his nightmare and panted breathlessly.
He looked up at the fuming angel that was hovering above his face.
"..Jae?" YunHo murmered tiredly from his sleep.
"Yes, it is I, the Kim JaeJoong right before your eyes" hands on hips glaring at YunHo.
"Jae....that was just a dream okay...? Don't take it seriously..."
"Maybe...JUST MAYBE....IT'S WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT IN YOUR INNER MIND!" JaeJoong waved his arms about in the air
frantically
After an hour of explanation, and continuosly being interrupted by the furious JaeJoong's opinions and outbursts, YunHo finally got the story
into JaeJoong's head.
JaeJoong eyed YunHo suspiciously.
"Boys! I think papa YunHo needs to go to the doctors!" JaeJoong called out into the doorway.
The rest of thr group marched into the room in their toy soldier costumes, they saluted to the now military captain dressed JaeJoong.
"We have a nutcase here who needs to seek medical attention immediately, see to it that he is taken to the psychiatrist immediately."
"Hai!" the group saluted and turned their heads to YunHo.
YunHo broke a sweatdrop and stared towards the exit of the room.
He was too slow for the other 3.
The others dragged him by the legs to the door and flung him into the SUV. JaeJoong was already at the driers seat reving up the vehicle.
YunHo half dazed still in his pajama's, if you call a white tank top and black boxers PJ's, was positioned in the passengers seat horizontally.
The belts came to life and buckled him tightly to the seats that he occupied.
YooChun hopped into his Mini Cooper and started the engine on the right of the SUV.
On the left JunSu stepped into his SM 7 and buckled himself.
In front ChangMin lifted his leg to the other side of his ride and stepped on the peddles. He reved his motor installed baby blue bicycle and
started off the parade.
On their way to the psychiatrist the streets were filled with SuJu fans booing at the passing vehicles.
Chucking presents from Cassiopeia at the cars, squirting silly string into the road.
The silly string got into ChangMin's hair, it piled up so much that it turned into an afro of multicoloured silly string.
ChangMin smirked and pulled out a pair of big black sunglasses and moustache from nowhere and put them on.
He started singing YMCA and attempted to make the letters with his arms but failed, since every attempt was interrupted by a constant
shriek from his good conscience.
JunSu slipped the Teletubbies disc into the CD drive and teletubbies music played full blast in his car. Too bad the car was sound proof,
JunSu frowned at the realisation of it.
YooChun looked ahead in the streets and saw loan sharks ahead of him. He gaped and rubbed his eyes.
"No...no way...THAT DEBT WAS YEARS AGO! I THOUGHT THEY FORGOT ABOUT IT!" YooChun pressed the horn continuosly to the beat of
The Way U Are.
JaeJoong shook his head disapprovingly at his fellow members.
"Erm...Jae...can you put on some music for me? Pleeease?" YunHo pouted to the firgure that had its back to him.
"Very well..."
JaeJoong turned to YunHo and smiled.
He turned back and hid a smirk, and slotted a random disc into the player.
"All around me are familiar faces, Worn out places, worn out faces"
YunHo's eyebrows furrowed at such lyrics, they sounded familiar...
"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, The dreams in which I'm dying, Are the best I've ever had, I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to
take, When people run in circles, It's a very, very, Mad World, Mad world..."
YunHo's face was skeptic at this point, he stared at the CD player in horror.
He could hear the music full blast since his head was really close to the speakers.
"Erm...Jae...care to play a song...less depressing...?" YunHo forced a smile on his face.
JaeJoong turned back again to look at the constipated looking YunHo, and smiled sadly at him.
"If you must..."
JaeJoong replaced the disc with another, this one disc was multicoloured and seem to be like a children's disc.
"Remember when you ran away, And I got on my knees and begged you, Not to leave because I'd go berserk?"
YunHo eyed the stereo speakers weirdly.
"Are you talking to me?"
He aimed a freaked out look at JaeJoong in front.
JaeJoong bounced and nodded his head to the beat of the music in glee.
"Oh YunHo, you should sing this part of the song!"
"They're coming to take me away ha ha, They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha ha, To the funny farm, Where life is beautiful all
the time, And I'll be happy to see those nice young men, In their clean white coats and, They're coming to take me away ha ha!"
"Oh crap..." YunHo whispered.
"Come on this song fits you perfectly!"
"You calling me crazy?!" YunHo shouted angrily from the back.
JaeJoong managed to produce a pair of sleezy 70's sunglasses out of nowhere and put them on, he took his hands off the steering wheels
and made peace signs at the crowd.
YunHo banged his head onto the passneger seat in anger.
JaeJoong scrolled down the windows and turned the music full volume, making YunHo's ear drums near bursting.
He started dancing 70's styles using his arms in his seat. The crowds watched in horror at such a sight.
"JaeJoong...shouldnt you be focusing on driving?"
"Hey, you saw the belts come to life! This car has a life of its own!" JaeJoong grinned goofily at the confused YunHo.
YunHo whined all the way to the white building at the end of the street when the vehicles stopped.
"What happened?"
"LeeTeuk's in the way..." JaeJoong scrunched his face in anger.
ChangMin got off his bike and head banged his way to the Super Junior leader.
"GREEEN PEEEEEACE!" LeeTeuk made the peace sign and started head banging to the hippy music that was playing behind him.
The music got louder as ChangMin saw a crowd of green come marching up.
It was the rest of Super Junior, head banging to the beat of the hippy music.
"LeeTeuk hyung...are you okay?"
"Are you okay yourself?" LeeTeuk pointed at the silly string afro, sunglasses and moustache.
"SHUT UP! IT'S A FASHION STATEMENT!" ChangMin flared at the elder.
"Whatever..." LeeTeuk carried on head banging.
YooChun and JunSu got out of their cars and rounded up the green peace Super Junior and chucked them into the mysteriously enlarged
SUV.
YunHo became squashed under the 13 members group.
JaeJoong shook his head in dismay as the 4 vehicles reved up and started parading to the psychiatrists again.
When they got the the psychiartrist YunHo could smell candyfloss in the distance.
The double doors ahead of them opened, and a lab coat dressed SeulGi welcomed them in.
The doors closed behind them once they stepped in.
YunHo looked at SeulGi in fear whimpering as she took one step closer to the now weak YunHo.
"Don't worry, you are safe now..." SeulGi calmly said.
She smiled brightly and suddenly the room vanished into white then into a theme park called TVXQ & SuJu Land.
The 18 celebrities shrieked in glee and ran through the gates of the park, jumping happily in joy.
SeulGi stepped out of the room and back into reality.
She opened the blinds to the room the 18 boys were concealed in and watched them hug each other madly.
"So young...such a shame...." SeulGi said sadly.
She watched the boys bang into the walls of the padded white room frantically.
"Looks like they're having fun..."
"Ahh the fate of SM celebrities..." SooMan stepped into the spot next to SeulGi and sighed heavily.
"You turned them into this way..." SeulGi turned to look at the aging face.
"And I'm very sorry for that..." SooMan smiled at SeulGi and made his way down the cooridor, taking one last glance at the boys in the room.
SeulGi also took one last glance at the boys in the room and pulled the blinds down.
"Hey they're gone..." YunHo whispered to the others.
"So..?" they all turned their heads to YunHo and looked at him suspiciously.
"That's the end of the show!" YunHo threw his arms up.
The room tranformed into a TV stage and fans in red and blue shrieked in glee at the eye candy's in front of them.
"That's a wrap!" they boys shouted in unison and left the stage.
- E N D -
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