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 Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 9:52 pm
Eponine had figured it out, and the results were grim. There was no hope for her, there was no hope for them, and no came one of the hardest paths she ever had to face - telling him the news.
It wasn't as if the young mare was afraid of Ezriel - though he was practically twice her size, complete with spikes, horns, and a twisted soul that was in need of some patching up, Eponine feared breaking the news. To many, the news of pregnancy and birth was a fantastic event - something far too many mothers yearned for but few actually achieved. But to Eponine, the thought of motherhood was terrifying. She was hardly a grown mare herself, much less settled and able to care for children. Ezriel wasn't her mate, he was hardly a friend much less some one who would now be looked upon as father.
Ugh. . . . why had this happened? Why?
Her stomach churned, and the young mare knew it was from her own anxiety. If ever she was terrified of children, admitting this news to the stallion was twenty billion times worse a feeling. What would he say? What would he do? She understood, vaguely, the war that was a constant within his heart and mind. Though she didn't fear for her life, she did wonder. . . . . Would he be angry, livid? Would he blame her? Would he blame himself? Would he not care, would he cast her out? Oh, it didn't matter what he thought or felt of her. . . .
That was besides the point.
The problem was, of course, that she wanted her children to have a father. They needed one, and no matter how good of a mother she knew she'd have to be. . . . well. . . Eponine refused to imagine what it might have been like to NOT have a father. Twilight had been her world . . . . so what would these think if Ezriel were absent?
No, Eponine wouldn't stop him. . . .
Nor blame him.
But, she thought warily, she couldn't judge or assume until she told him. Part of the blue mare wanted nothing more than to run - to run far away and never look back. In a way she had, avoiding all her friends and family as she sunk in to a strange dip of emotion. She couldn't face them, hell, she could hardly face herself! But no - if one had to know, it would be Ezriel. . . .
Step by step, her stomach churned all the more as the stallions familiar scent thickened. He was close, and she was moving with the wind blowing against her. If he were anywhere, he'd know of her approach. . . .
But the longer he stayed away the better. Maybe she'd wake up from this nightmare, maybe she'd wake up from this hell.
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:35 pm
He had tried to forget about that day- the day where his very emotions, desires and wants had overtaken and unleashed the demon within. Ezriel had become victim to the animal within and he had seduced an innocent mare into the falsehood assumption of affection and 'love'. There was no way in hell one could turn back time or reverse the damange or consequences and thus with Nimue long won by Reaper and the pains of emotions and old wounds seemed to fester and open once more as those painful memories of the loss of his beloved seemed to sprout frustration and silence.
What was there to return to? He couldn't go home- Ezriel didn't want to return back to where there was no one waiting for him and even more angered at himself and unable to will himself to return back to see his mother, Glamrock and even his siblings and tell them what he had done. Even more he felt like a damn monster; some vicious and voracious creature just as savage and unruly as those in the past had deemed he and his siblings to be.
Ezriel laid upon the ground by himself as his long, thick locks of crimson fell over him and lathered atop the ground. His spaded, spiked tail curled slightly around him as his eyes narrowed elsewhere, those void-less orbs of simple nothingness directed themselves nowhere in particular as he snorted.
He didn't have a clear idea why he still remained in the area and why he was still near her. Ezriel didn't want to be and he'd rather to be far, far away from her and leave her at peace knowing that he had done enough damage with the mares realization of the real world shattering her misconception and her fantasy. But it seemed his emotions kept him weighed down and that anger seemed to fuel that inner voice in helping him to find reason to leave, to leave and not have to deal with this anymore.
The damage is done, Ezriel. Don't waste your damn time with this mare, it hissed, the voice echoing clearly within the back of his mind.
That voice- he hadn't heard it in so long. Its presence caused a chill to run down his spine as his teeth grinded together. He could feel that darkness return, that sickly feeling course through his body and begin to slowly consume him. For so long he had tried to fight it but with the recent events of the brawl with his father, the loss of Nimue and after his mishap with Eponine, that barrier that Ezriel had created in defense against himself had become weathered and broken down and where that barrier once sat now resided rubble. He couldn't fight it nor evade it as he stumbled up to his hooves, grumbling as he was at its beackoning call and demand. The stallion had fallen hard and now he was tasting bitter defeat. Ezriel didn't like it.
But before he could will himself to walk away that familiar scent seemed to begin to waft heavily within the air. To the stallion it was a sickening scent- a scent that caused his stomach to churn with discomfort with an array of mixed emotions. Yet he was certain that she was here for some reason- he'd be damn lucky if it was important.
Tensing slightly, Ezriel turned in her direction as his eyes settled upon her.
"Eponine," he spoke, low and reserved with a slight gruff tone. "What brings you here?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:11 pm
Far too soon for her liking, she bumped in to the familiar form. As he spoke, his tone reserved, quiet, sheltered. . . . Eponine quickly found herself speechless. There was no turning back the deed that had been done, there was no hiding from him eternal. Not only would it be unfair to him, but it would be unfair for the babies. . .the innocent souls that grew quietly and unknowingly within her.
A shame they couldn't stay hidden forever.
Aqua eyes were dim, and quickly dropped off the snow and blood kissed form. Her throat was clenched tight, making breathing difficult, and her anxiety spiked tenfold. There was no running, no disappearing, no savior this time. . . . But when had there ever been a savior? Though she was attracted to Ezriel, he wasn't the stallion meant for her. In fact, he was nothing but another acquaintance - a someone she bumped in to and tried to heal, tried to share a light with. . . .
The light had become uncontrollable, untamable, and gone out of control. Somehow she had confused lust for love, and yet understood completely that was never and not to be the case. Ezriel wasn't hers, Ezriel wasn't to be any more of her life than a brisk breeze at dawn, or a sprinkling of rain in spring. Here in a moment, gone in a flash. . . .
She had been foolish to hope.
And she wasn't so stupid to think that being pregnant would change anything.
Silence fell, and the mare struggled to find the words. What would she say? Should she greet him first or just spit it out? Would he strike her? Would he deny her truth? Oh, such a bitter world this was. How silly she had been to give in to such a male, how silly she had been to throw her hopes and dreams up in the air and dismiss them so swiftly. She could never regain what she lost, she could never be free of this trap. . .
Not now.
Not ever.
"Ezriel - " She practically gasped, aqua eyes suddenly sparkling with tears. If ever the mare held a inner light, such a flame was extinguished in to ashes, and nothing but darkness. Oh how her heart broke time and time again, oh how the weight of the world seemed to crash on her shoulders and her shoulders alone.
Eponine felt sick. Her knees felt weak, and tears blurred her vision and stained her cheeks. "Ezriel - " She breathed a second time, voice hardly audible.
She had to say it. . . HAD to.
There was no going back, there was no turning around.
This was her fate and forever it would be unchanging.
"I'm . . . p-p-p-pregnant."
Saying it felt like a knife cut through her tender heart. Inside she was dying, she knew it, and the guilt and fear and regret she felt took its place inside her heart. Her tongue was dry, and the taste of bitterness suddenly settled upon her palette. Tense, she braced herself for a reaction - anything - even if it were nothing but silence.
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 8:29 pm
There was something- Eponine had been hiding something. Ezriel had noted her strange behavior and tried to keep his distance as the stallion had already did enough damage. He never was proud or boastful at what he did as, in his logic, he had sinned and committed a crime against Nimue- against the one he loved but he still had yet to realize that she was gone...gone forever. It was impossible to banish the mare from his constant thought and his misplaced heart whose surface was severed and fractured seemed to still beat onwards yet faintly. Somehow it was a miracle he was still alive.
His ears became attentive, chest feeling restrained and tight as she gasped out his name- watching as tears began to trail from her eyes. Again she gasped his name and he cringed, his posture stiffening as his jowls gritted.
Something was not right- somehow he could tell that something wasn't right.
And he was right.
As she spoke the word, his eyes widened, maw gaped open slightly as he felt as if he stopped breathing and that he was near close to choking on air or some unseen hazard. Oh no. No, no, no, no no! He didn't want this! ********! ********! ********! Just damn-tastic! No- this had to be a dream, right? Some nightmare, some horrible, horrible damn-tastic nightmare. Just to check he snaked his spaded, spiked tail down at one of his back hooves and slid the spike across his skin.
He winced, grinding his teeth together.
Damnit! This was not a dream!
Usually a stallion was to be so overjoyed and thrilled with the news that he would be the father of foals but, in this situation, Ezriel was dreading this whole event and wished it never happened. Damn instincts to hell, damn lust and desires! If it wasn't for his frustration, his anger and his darkened desires this wouldn't have happened nor would he be facing this problem!
Ezriel felt low, like s**t and like a malicious, savage brute. He couldn't imagine how his father felt after he had attacked and raped his mother but, even though he hadn't attacked nor meant to impregnant the innocent and misguided mare, he was starting to taste the bitterness of guilt and consequence- neither of which he liked at all. Even still he couldn't imagine ruining her life-
Oh god what had he done!
He felt as if the fates, gods and spirits above were punishing him as if he hadn't faced enough s**t head on.
Damnit!
For a moment he stayed silent, breathing through his clenched jowls as weight seemed thrusted upon his shoulders and making him feel so weak. He couldn't control his thoughts and already he was feeling so sick.
"Eponine," he spoke, rather quite and low. "I'm....I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I didn't..I...need to be alone for a moment."
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:07 pm
Eponine turned her head away as she broke the news, not needing to witness Ezriel's reaction firsthand to know the torment, hate, and regret he must be feeling. Why had things gotten out of hand. . . ? Why had she been such a fool, why had she let herself drift away from what was right? She wasn't in love with Ezriel, no, even if she didn't find him as monstrous as he believed himself to be. And yet. . . And yet she knew he felt very little for her - she was but a stranger, some girl that had plagued his life and was now holding his children.
Damn her.
Why? WHY!?
Her throat tightened, practically suffocating her as she tried to breathe. Tears stung her eyes and she didn't know what to say or do. She could hear his teeth grinding against one another, could feel the tension radiating off his form and figure. It was all her fault . . . .
Truly.
Everything she had dreamed life to be was suddenly shattered and coated with regret and guilt. What would her family think of her? What would her brothers or sister think? Or mother. . . . Oooh - Cosette would surely be disappointed! If only she could melt in to the earth, if only she could run back in time and change everything!
But it was not to be.
One moment suddenly ruined Ezriel's life and fudged up her own. He would dismiss her, he would belittle her, or even if he was receptive to the idea he had to think of her as something horrible. Two strangers, and one now pregnant out of a moments mistake. What had happened to her Prince Charming? What had happened to the optimism she had once felt so freely?
. . . gone.
All gone. And never once to be.
"D-d-d-don't worry ab-b-bout me," she murmured softly, choking over her words. White hair covering her gaze, she turned away and walked heavily back the way she came. She'd give him his space, give him his time. Hell, it surprised her that he hadn't attacked or bolted in the other direction. This wasn't his fault, this wasn't his need to apologize - she had been just as much, if not more so, to blame.
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:42 pm
It felt as if the ground below his feet was suddenly pulled out from under him and he was left with a nauseated feeling as everything felt like it was spinning too fast around him. Damnit! Somehow blind sighted emotions and feelings had ovecome him and the darkness within had led an innocent, oblivious mare to be the mother of his foals?
s**t, s**t s**t!
The stallion shook his head as he exhaled a gruff, deep breath from out of his nostrils and grimmaced, jowls clenching together.
From his own past experience with his father never being there and distancing himself and causing so much terror, suffering and emotional pain (and even for Ezriel physical pain) there was that voice in the back of his mind that was screaming, pleading with every good reason to leave and walk away from this damn mess! The stallion couldn't deal with the fact that he was a father to foals with a mare whom he barely knew and not only that but he felt so confused and so angry at himself yet did his best not to let it show.
Ezriel wasn't all bad. But yet as the screaming inside of him cursed him to run away, there was a part of him that spoke softly to him and pleaded sweetly for him to stay. Rather than letting the cycle continue another generation, Ezriel found himself unable to run away or simply just abandom Eponine with the foals.
No, he was responsible for what happened and there was a part of him that wanted to stay around until the foals were old enough and then be on his way- he couldn't bear to stay and be the burden and root of the mares problems although he would have his own offspring. Even the thought of being a father seemed so- so surreal and he was unprepared in every aspect. There was no way he could just walk out and leave her. These were going to be his foals- if they were his then he'd make damn sure they had what they needed and when they were old enough to understand he'd leave and be once again on his own but would try his damnest to keep tabs on his foals and Eponine and try to help out as best he could.
Though Reaper had his reasons as why he never was around while he and his siblings were young, Ezriel was not going to be like him.
He was going to be a damn good father or at least try to be!
Flicking his ears as Eponine turned away, Ezriel hastened his steps after her. "Eponine," he called out, a low and slightly gruff voice calling out against the silence of the afternoon. "I'm....I'm gonna stick around...and help out. When the foals are old enough I'll have to go my own way...I just- just....I'll try to do a damn good job but when they're old enough I just need to leave."
It wasn't in any degree smooth or well said but he was damn sure that he needed to stick around. Besides, there was no telling what would happen if Reaper found out and, thus, Eponine and his foals would need protection and it seemed as if he was the only one qualified for that aspect.
"I'll do whatever I can....that's a damn promise I'll keep," he announced, crimson brows furrowing as he sighed to himself.
"I'll do what I can...."
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:20 pm
((I figure we should get this one wrapped. x3 Soonish. All things considered. Sorry for the obnoxiously long wait! ; ; ))
Eponine paused as Ezriel called after her, though she could hardly turn round to face him. A sliver of her wished she'd never met him that fateful afternoon; that she hadn't stuck around, hadn't hoped for him, yearned for him, believed in him. Why had she allowed things to get so out of control? But there was no turning back time, no going back and changing the past; the only thing left to do now was to pick up the pieces and work with what she had.
Shame, fear, embarrassment, and guilt were the only emotions she could seperate. There was no joy in this preganancy, for him or her; noting but regret. Not only had she fudged up her life and fast, but she had now hurt him in the process. Why, why, why!?
Head lowered, her long, white locks cascaded down her neck and over heir face. She hid from the Ezriel as best she could behind what locks of hair she had, but it wasn't enough. Nothing would be enough; if she had thought telling him would life the weight off her shoulders, instead it caused her more pain and hurt instead. Knowing he was now obligated to her, obligated to a family he didn't want, a mare he hardly new. . . . it broke her heart to be such a curse upon a stallion.
But there was nothing to be done but move on.
Eponine's tail swished behind her slowly before she gave a little shake of her head; she didn't know what to say at this point, how to respond. "It's all r-r-right, I . . . . I c-c-couldn't ask for m-m-more." And that was such the case, wasn't it? She wouldn't beg him to stay, beg him to help rear foals. But they'd need some father figure in her life, and at such a point she couldn't bear the thought of having her own father be that stallion. He had his own life and children to raise - he didn't have to help her with her own! Besides . .. they'd need Ezriel - every foal needed a father in their life and theirs wouldn't be an exception.
"I'm s-s-sorry," she gasped, voice shaky. How wretched to spring such news upon the stallion. "I j-j-just. . . . . you had t-t-to know."
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