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 Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:06 pm
It seemed like she had only been gone a few days, it seemed like only a few moments since she'd felt the bulk of her lover push against her pelt and since she'd buried her head happily into his mane.
It seemed like a day away from her youth, from her mother, from Wingu's aristocratic behaviour and high expectations. Maawio had blossomed. Into something of a decent huntress, a mother of many cubs, she was proud to have a family to call her own.
They were grown now, and she'd been facing fears she'd tried to push aside for too long. Her eldest had been travelling, her "little" Mbari, and in his pawsteps she saw reflected the growing independance of her other children. Overcome by anxiety, and worried to an almost sickening state, she left the den one day, determined to find her son.
She had not intended to have been gone for so long, and if she wasn't driven by her typically anxious nature she would have given up the search for Mbari long ago. The golden lioness travelled for a while, compelled by the memories of her youth and images of Mbari as a cub. She hadn't heard from him in a while. But he'd be okay, right?... Reassuring herself wasn't enough. She had to find him.
Maawio was kicking herself for leaving her family, but she'd travelled far, and hoped they'd keep faith that she'd be back soon. The days grew hot and the nights grew cold. She met many lions, some in passing, a few stopped and they exchanged names, but she kept searching for her son. Once she made sure he was okay, she would be finished, the family would be perfect again. She just had to know.
"Mbari...Where are you?" She caught herself mumbling one day. The lioness was still slender and beautiful, with large sapphire eyes, but age was dawning on her, body and mind. Paranoia set in and she experienced a number of bad dreams and guilt plagued her. Amari.
Eventually, she grew to a state of such mental torture that she simply turned and ran. Home. The love and compassion for her family was too much, she'd been away for far too long, she had to go back. What had she been doing. Why had she overreacted? Quietly and politely cursing nostalgia for leading her into this mess, a saddened Maawio began her journey home. What would her family think? She'd kept no track of time, and she thought she'd only been away for a matter of days, maybe weeks.
What had she really done, what had her caring and anxious nature led her to?
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:50 am
He was sitting by the pool of rainwater, looking at his reflection wobbling across its unsteady surface. It had been a few days since Amari's declaration and still Chunuka could not get over what had happened. Even Kiasi, who often kicked him back into shape, had failed to keep that smile painted on his face. How could he be happy?
His father might not ever return and his mother...his mother.
Tears beaded in his eyes and slowly he turned his head, refusing to look at the pitiful golden face staring back at him. Maybe he should have gone after father, tried to stop him. It wasn't fair. Why had he reverted so easily to becoming a rogue? Chunuka had understood at first, why his father had acted so, but now, with the passing of the days, Chunuka was becoming angry. He didn't mean too and he still loved his father, but he felt abandoned, left alone at a time where the family should stick together.
Was father so cowardly that he couldn't have stayed until the pain had eased somewhat?
His chest was tight with his grief and he struggled to get a good breath into his lungs. He was looking a little scraggly now, his mane tangled and his underside caped with dry mud. He had walked through many a rainstorm lately, as if doing so would wash away this pain.
"What can I do to make it go away?" Right now he felt like he'd never be happy again.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 2:31 am
As the lioness drew closer to her home, she was hit with memories. Each place held a different meaning. How foolish she was to leave her family, her children, Amari. The name was a distinctive purr in her throat. He signified the blossoming of her adulthood, the growth of her love, the start of their family. She hoped he would understand, but the guilt kept a tight chain around her chest.
Walking swiftly, her paws pounded against the dusty ground. It was warm, but not painfully so. She did not know who would be at the family den, maybe in the time she was gone, her children had decided to become independant? Oh. She should have just put her faith in Mbari, he wasn't stupid. He knew what to avoid. But yet again she was driven by that caring anxiety, that impulse which led her to leave her home, her family. Nothing, should have come between them. Nothing.
As she approached the den, her heartbeat doubled in rate, her stomach raising to meet her throat and her brow furrowing in trepidation. She passed a pool on her way, and ignored the golden lion sitting there for a split second, before realisation hit and tears prickled at her eyes.
"Chunuka?"
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:13 am
The voice was familiar on his ears and they raised slightly. His name. It wasn't Kiasi but what other females did he know? He looked up, the effort visible from it's slow and gradule motion. His eyes, bleary with fatigue and sadness, found it difficult to focus at first.
She was golden. As golden as the sun and her fur seemed to glow as if she were made from light. He blinked back the tears, intrigued, and finally her face came into focus. A white muzzle, golden fur, blue eyes. Eyes as blue and clear and kindly as his own. His heart leapt into his throat and suddenly he felt as if he were in a dream. Had he fallen to sleep without realising it?
He stood, shakily, and took a step back, his eyes wide and his sides heaving with uncertain breaths. Why wouldn't he wake up?
"Mother." And his voice was strangled. "Mother, am I dreaming?" And the tears brimmed in his eyes again, turning the golden lionness into a wobbling picture.
Had the grief turned him mad?
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:04 am
At the sight of her son, she paused, unable to move, the band of guilt tightened moved to tighten around her throat, choking her momentarily. Brought back to reality by his soft voice, that she had not heard for ages, and his face, his sweet and distraught face. Was this her doing? Did she cause Chunuka this much pain? What about the rest of her children?
Her shakey movements matched his, and tears dribbled down her golden cheeks, wetting the white markings underneath her eyes and turning them grey. "No, Chunuka, sweetheart." Moving fowards to embrace her son she smiled gently. "I am home."
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:17 am
A step back. "B-but this cannot be." He shook his head. Part of him was telling him to turn and flee whatever aparatition this was, the other half of him wanted to go and hug her, to never let her out of his sight again.
He was stuck in limbo, hovering between emotions like a nervous deer stuck between a lion and a river. "M-mother!" He shook his head fiercely, trying to rid his eyes of the irritating tears that kept getting in his way. "It can't be you. Dad...dad said..." No he coudn't say it, not to her face. Even if she was a ghost, he didn't want her to know what had been passed.
But he had to. He had to say it, if only to finalise matters. "Dad said you were dead. Dad said you went away and didn't come back. He said he looked but he couldn't find you. He said you were dead! That you were a star, looking down at us. He said you were gone!" And the hysterics shook his body.
"It...it..." And then he stopped, pausing for laboured breath. What if father had been wrong?
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Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 10:32 am
It hit her hard, wave after wave of realisation. They thought she was dead? Amari thought she was dead?! Where had he gone, what were they feeling? She suddenly felt a hurt bubble of selfhatred rising her chest, coupled with guilt. How could she have done this. She should have told them. Her selfish impulse had pulled apart her own family. Sobbing gently, she tried to set things straight...
"C-chunu-uka... Honey.." The words were too much and she fell fowards to catch his shaking body on her shoulder. "I j-just went to find Mbari..." Her eyes were wide and glistening as the hysterics took effect on her body too, shaking each fibre as and gulped. How could she do this to them, how could she hurt her family?....
"W-where is everyone?" She suddenly looked frightened, worry setting hard in her stomach. "Where is Amari?" Maawio continued to nuzzle her son, attempting to reassure him, and at the same time calming herself.
"What have I done.."
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:06 am
Chunuka released a ragged, desperate sigh and relaxed against his mother's shoulder, allowing her familiar scent to calm him. He almost felt like a cub again, new and blind against his mother's side.
"Dad...dad thought...dad thought you were gone. He was broken...he...he left, mum. He left the Pridelands, I couldn't stop him. No one could." He shook his head fiercely. "It wasn't your fault mum, it wasn't."
He hugged her tight, wishing that none of this was happening. "Dad...dad should have waited. I didn't want him to go. I told him but...but he went anyway."
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 12:23 pm
She felt him relax against her, and it had a calming influence, she slowed her breathe and just felt the dull ache of guilt throughout her body. As he stuttered on she suddenly tensed.
And then she started again. The tears came thicker and she shook. He'd left. Her rock, her soul. He'd gone. It was her fault. She'd broken the entire family. Breathing hard she sobbed. "Chunuka..I-im so sorry.. This is all my fault." She nuzzled against his pelt, as golden as her own, wetting it in patches.
"I can't believe w-what I've done." The anxiety set hard, worried thoughts streaking through her mind one after the other. Where was Amari? What if he did something stupid, Where were her other children? What did they think, how hurt were they?
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:51 am
"It's okay mum. It's okay." He sniffled, buried his face against her neck and was comforted by her scent, by her warmth. He was never going to let her out of his sight again. This was a miracle! Something wonderful! She was back from the dead, returned to him like an angel.
But she hadn't died. She had always been there and father, father would never know.
He hiccuped with grief but pulled away to look into his mother's eyes. "I know mum, it's okay. He'll be back. I know he will. He doesn't have anything out there in roguelands, everything he has his here. He just needs some time to grieve." He nodded firmly. That made sense, in fact it made so much sense that he believed it. "Once the shock is over he'll come back. I know he will mum."
He pressed his head to hers. "You didn't do anything wrong, mum, you didn't know. How were you supposed to know?"
He had to find Kiasi and Inari, as far as he was aware, they were the only ones who knew so far. "Inari was there with me when dad left. He was stronger mum. Kiasi...I spoke to Kiasi just yesterday. So far they're the only ones who know. We'll go find them, okay? Find them together?" He was shaking, shaking from the shock, torn between so many emotions that his mind was completely and utterly muddled.
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:23 pm
She was comforted by the words of her son, nuzzling against his soft fur she calmed. She believed his words to be true. Amari had a family, why would he stay as a Rogue?
Although, he hadn't always been there, not for Mbari when he was young, and Maawio had recently left her family, so she must not be hypocritical. Sniffing, she inhaled deeply and nodded. She could understand needing some time to greive; to think. The golden lioness remembered back to Wingus death. Her aristocratic mother had been somewhat forceful, but he death during the plague had his Maawio hard. She was thankful she had blossoming independance, and Amari to cling to. He was her strength.
"Y-yes." She stuttered. At least there were some that were still innocent, not plagued by these emotions. Shuddering she looked up to Chunuka, sapphire eyes sad and wide. "Where are t-they, sweetheart?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:21 am
Drawing strength from his mother's growing comfort, Chunuka turned, pressing his side to his mother's. He would make sure she was okay. Without dad here to take care of her the duty would most certainly past down to the eldest son available. And that was him.
"Kas is pregnant so she'll be at her den, we'll go there first." He nuzzled his mother's shoulder and encouraged her forwards. Life was odd sometimes, it through so much heartache at you but then, in the sea of grief, something wonderful happened.
This surely was wonderful but it also brought with it more turmoil. Either way, Chunuka was not going to let his mother go without a fight, he loved her too much for that.
(( End it here? I'll ask Felyn if she's up for RP with Kiasi. heart ))
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