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My best poem ever...

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iLurk

PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:21 pm


    I made this poem around two years ago.
    It was inspired by the grave yard scene in the poem, Paul Revere's Ride. I started it in class and continued it throughout the afternoon until I was happy with it.

    It wasn't originally a supernature themed poem...I just wrote what came to mind, and I love it. Hope you enjoy! =] Feed back please. I'm always looking foward to making this poem better. Here it goes.

    A New Vampire
    The rickety wheels ride over the gravel
    Howling winds dance with the leaves
    The wagon weary of travel
    Is covered in silence, the home of theives

    Steady hoof-beats adds to the scene
    Darkness surrounds the innocent now
    The realization of your worst dreams
    Is wrapped tightly by fog clouds

    A spectral figure appears at the fork
    In the road, She flashes you a deadly grin
    A reminder of past sores
    A reminder of future sin

    She approaches the carriage
    In which you hide
    She carries no baggage
    Swiftful is her stride

    Unable to move, frozen in fear
    You close your eyes
    And let escape those crystal tears
    Are you about to die?

    Delicate hands touch the base of your neck
    Whispers of comfort, a soothing voice
    Then you feel something cold, something wet
    You give in, you have no choice

    The pain lasts only a second
    As fangs pierce your skin
    Then pleasure beckons
    You to oblivion

    Trapped in time is what you are
    Death, your constant companion
    Never near yet never far
    Independent and solitary, like a black stallion

    That creature, that stranger
    Your master, your sire
    To no end you blame her
    For your new desire

    The warm and thick taste
    Of blood, it drives you wild
    You drink it with the haste
    Of a new vampire
PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:56 am


He destroyed my life...
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That's really.. Well nice for me. >_<
Well done.
I found it hard to find a rythm to it though, which made it harder to read/understand.




Now I will destroy him.

Pure Vampyre


Annachronist

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:32 pm


I suppose it is rather well written. I can;t truly judge considering the fact that I can't relate to the subject. If I was though, I must say I'd put in some crazy cool vocab in there. Like old English since Vampires are all...you know.
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 7:54 am


*Sniff sniff* It's good. I'm touched.

mind poo

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Artisan Corner - Poetry, short stories, art

 
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