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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:08 pm
divineseraph That's really the pro-choice stance in a nutshell. "I do what I want, and am willing to kill something I legally can in order to get it" This quote really hurts. Is it really the way that most pro-lifers view the pro-choicers?
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:20 pm
miyo_esparanza divineseraph That's really the pro-choice stance in a nutshell. "I do what I want, and am willing to kill something I legally can in order to get it" This quote really hurts. Is it really the way that most pro-lifers view the pro-choicers?We know not all are bad and never said or mean to sound like all are bad but alot pro-choices do seem to act that way sadly. I used to be just personal pro-life (and still am) and I though that seeing that I was only personal pro-life, I could still join and be accept in the pro-choice guild since they're others also that were personal pro-life as well (to make a long story short, I was basically treated like crap and so I left and due to bad experience with some of them, I tend to feel bitter at times but I know not all of you are like that). All the ones in this guild seem to be nice and respectful.
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:13 pm
Well, I'd be willing to say no, not most. Many might, considering it's what it comes down to...I want to have sex and will kill something living to do it, or I think women should be able to kill something living to have sex.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm downing antibiotics everyday; I'm killing millions of microbes in my daily life to achieve my goal of living.
But it really is a hurtful way to put it. It comes down to bodily integrity, but the line on the sides is drawn in that people who are pro-life for the most part feel women choose to risk that when they have sex, and it's not the fetus's fault she chose to have sex, it doesn't deserve to die for her pleasure. People who are pro-choice tend not to feel that way.
I don't think it's horrible, immoral, or cruel to be pro-choice, but do I think that it's a willingness to put a woman's needs before a fetus's life? Yes, because it is. Again, is that a bad thing? Everyone's going to have differing views on that.
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:31 pm
Heavens no!<3
I myself was a pro-choicer once. I understand the pro-choice stance perfectly, and I don't disrespect the position-- I just have too much empathy for all parties involved to allow the death of one of them to be acceptable.
And I used to be quite friendly with a lot of the pro-choicers in the PCG, and I still would be if I was pro-choice.
But to answer your question, no. I can list of several pro-choicers (all the ones in this guild) that I have nothing but positive feelings for. People who have given me respect, and who I, in turn, also give respect. A lot of them seem to think that respect should be given only to those who hold the same opinion as they do, though, and I don't agree with that.
I respect everyone at first, always. It's when they say and do things that are insulting towards me and what I believe that I get a little bitter.{/rant}
But if it's any consolation, I enjoy you, miyo. I lurk in the ADT, so I've seen you post, and you seem to be more respectful and more open than a lot of the people I see posting in that thread.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:37 pm
But if the stance is not about killing something for personal gain, what is it?
When you boil it down, the fetus is a living being. Sex is what is wanted by many people. Sex leads to pregnancy, and for one who accepts abortion, the fetus is able to be given up to stop pregnancy.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:34 pm
divineseraph But if the stance is not about killing something for personal gain, what is it? When you boil it down, the fetus is a living being. Sex is what is wanted by many people. Sex leads to pregnancy, and for one who accepts abortion, the fetus is able to be given up to stop pregnancy. For me, it's that I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world that I couldn't care for. I already have a daughter, and a son (who had better get his little butt in gear and GET here already) on the way, and in between pregnancies, my husband and I use as much protection as we can so that we can still have a loving normal adult relationship without getting pregnant.
If I were to get pregnant shortly after having this baby, I would abort, and it's not for myself. I am only thinking of my existing children. My husband and I are barely in a position to take care of TWO children (this pregnancy was somewhat unexpected), to add a third to the mix would end up being devastating to my family, and to my children, and I don't want to let anything get in the way of me being able to take care of my babies, even if it's another potential baby.
I wouldn't see that abortion as having ANYTHING to do with 'personal gain'. Yes, I'd be killing something, I admit to that, and it's not something I would want to do lightly, and it's something that my husband and I have discussed throughly, but I don't really see how wanting to protect my existing children is 'personal gain'.
(I do agree, however, that there are a lot of pro-choicers that give off the impression that they are only interested in the personal gain of having sex no matter the consequences. I'm merely trying to point out that not ALL pro-choicers are like that, and that the pro-choicers that you see in the ADT are a poor poor representation of most of the pro-choicers that exist.)
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:40 pm
McPhee Heavens no!<3
I myself was a pro-choicer once. I understand the pro-choice stance perfectly, and I don't disrespect the position-- I just have too much empathy for all parties involved to allow the death of one of them to be acceptable.
And I used to be quite friendly with a lot of the pro-choicers in the PCG, and I still would be if I was pro-choice.
But to answer your question, no. I can list of several pro-choicers (all the ones in this guild) that I have nothing but positive feelings for. People who have given me respect, and who I, in turn, also give respect. A lot of them seem to think that respect should be given only to those who hold the same opinion as they do, though, and I don't agree with that.
I respect everyone at first, always. It's when they say and do things that are insulting towards me and what I believe that I get a little bitter.{/rant}
But if it's any consolation, I enjoy you, miyo. I lurk in the ADT, so I've seen you post, and you seem to be more respectful and more open than a lot of the people I see posting in that thread. Aw, thank you sweatdrop
For me it's just that I just don't see how automatically refuting someone's argument or opinion because they are of an 'opposite' stance as you are is helping anything. confused
I mean, there is no reason that pro-lifers and pro-choicers can't work together to help raise awareness about contraceptives, and proper protections and precautions that can be taken when having sex, to reduce the amount of abortions needed.
I know that pro-choicers may seem like they want everyone to have abortions, but truthfully, if there were no need for them, then I would be very very happy. I think that the only way that we can all work on lowing the abortion rates is by working together, not by holding up signs that say 'This is what your baby looks like', or by having feeding frenzies in the ADT 'proving' why abortions are 'ok'.
So, I do what I can to try and understand the pro-life side of things, and to hopefully clear up misconceptions on both sides of the 'arena'.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:11 pm
miyo_esparanza divineseraph But if the stance is not about killing something for personal gain, what is it? When you boil it down, the fetus is a living being. Sex is what is wanted by many people. Sex leads to pregnancy, and for one who accepts abortion, the fetus is able to be given up to stop pregnancy. For me, it's that I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world that I couldn't care for. I already have a daughter, and a son (who had better get his little butt in gear and GET here already) on the way, and in between pregnancies, my husband and I use as much protection as we can so that we can still have a loving normal adult relationship without getting pregnant.
If I were to get pregnant shortly after having this baby, I would abort, and it's not for myself. I am only thinking of my existing children. My husband and I are barely in a position to take care of TWO children (this pregnancy was somewhat unexpected), to add a third to the mix would end up being devastating to my family, and to my children, and I don't want to let anything get in the way of me being able to take care of my babies, even if it's another potential baby.
I wouldn't see that abortion as having ANYTHING to do with 'personal gain'. Yes, I'd be killing something, I admit to that, and it's not something I would want to do lightly, and it's something that my husband and I have discussed throughly, but I don't really see how wanting to protect my existing children is 'personal gain'.
(I do agree, however, that there are a lot of pro-choicers that give off the impression that they are only interested in the personal gain of having sex no matter the consequences. I'm merely trying to point out that not ALL pro-choicers are like that, and that the pro-choicers that you see in the ADT are a poor poor representation of most of the pro-choicers that exist.)Bullshit. How is killing someone thinking of them? I'm sorry, I cannot accept that as an answer. You are willing to kill a child to maintain your sexual relationship, yes? If the abortion is not selfish, then the means to creating the aborted fetus are.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:30 pm
Quote: I don't want to let anything get in the way of me being able to take care of my babies, even if it's another potential baby. You pretty much just said you get to decide who lives and who dies based on their importance and relevance to you, and whether or not they are a threat. That is selfish
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:09 pm
Please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way, because I can't think of a good way to phrase it, and I don't mean you any disrespect, because I admire that you're advocating what you feel is right.
It's not that I think you're a selfish person. It's just that there is a way to avoid abortion and avoid bringing a third child into the mix...avoid having sex until you'd be able to handle an unintended pregnancy without abortion.
That's not always very practical, I know, and it can be very hard to carry on a relationship without it, but it is possible to do, and has been done. Being unwilling to even attempt it is being willing to kill something rather than refrain from sex.
It is a scary thing to face the prospect of an unwanted pregnancy. It is hard. Being pregnant, giving birth, all of that, is a difficult thing to do unless you're in very particular circumstances. I know you're thinking of your own children, of your husband, your family.
Again, it comes down to there being a way to avoid abortion AND avoid endangering your family dynamic, it's just difficult.
But then again, a fetus probably isn't on the same level of importance to you as a born child, because I'm pretty sure that if you suddenly fell into the same physical and financial situation that pregnancy would, your answer wouldn't be to kill your born child.
Basically, it's personal gain because you're having sex, knowing you will abort if you get pregnant. No matter how careful you are, you know the chance exists, yet you're willing to risk killing something in order to have that pleasure, that gain. That might not matter to you because you don't see a fetus as the same as a born person, but it's still personal gain if you're choosing to have sex, unless you get nothing out of sex.
If you don't feel a fetus is a person, is this a bad thing? Isn't sex worth it, and isn't it responsible as long as you're willing to deal with the pregnancy when it comes, even if dealing with it involves abortion? Other people are going to feel it is a bad thing because they feel a fetus is a person (and let's face it, if a couple said to you that rather than refraining from pleasure they'd kill their born child you'd have objections to that on a moral level, the same ones many who are pro-life have) but that's pretty natural.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:04 pm
lymelady Please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way, because I can't think of a good way to phrase it, and I don't mean you any disrespect, because I admire that you're advocating what you feel is right. It's not that I think you're a selfish person. It's just that there is a way to avoid abortion and avoid bringing a third child into the mix...avoid having sex until you'd be able to handle an unintended pregnancy without abortion. That's not always very practical, I know, and it can be very hard to carry on a relationship without it, but it is possible to do, and has been done. Being unwilling to even attempt it is being willing to kill something rather than refrain from sex. It is a scary thing to face the prospect of an unwanted pregnancy. It is hard. Being pregnant, giving birth, all of that, is a difficult thing to do unless you're in very particular circumstances. I know you're thinking of your own children, of your husband, your family. Again, it comes down to there being a way to avoid abortion AND avoid endangering your family dynamic, it's just difficult. But then again, a fetus probably isn't on the same level of importance to you as a born child, because I'm pretty sure that if you suddenly fell into the same physical and financial situation that pregnancy would, your answer wouldn't be to kill your born child. Basically, it's personal gain because you're having sex, knowing you will abort if you get pregnant. No matter how careful you are, you know the chance exists, yet you're willing to risk killing something in order to have that pleasure, that gain. That might not matter to you because you don't see a fetus as the same as a born person, but it's still personal gain if you're choosing to have sex, unless you get nothing out of sex. If you don't feel a fetus is a person, is this a bad thing? Isn't sex worth it, and isn't it responsible as long as you're willing to deal with the pregnancy when it comes, even if dealing with it involves abortion? Other people are going to feel it is a bad thing because they feel a fetus is a person (and let's face it, if a couple said to you that rather than refraining from pleasure they'd kill their born child you'd have objections to that on a moral level, the same ones many who are pro-life have) but that's pretty natural. Your argument makes a lot of sense, and you managed to get it across without being insulting. That makes me a happy Miyo.
I guess I can see where you're coming from, and I can see what it is that makes me pro-choice rather then pro-life. Don't get me wrong, if there was any way on God's green Earth that I could conceivably have three babies and take care of all of them, then I would. It's not that I'm having sex, and going into it thinking 'well, if we make a baby, too bad, we'll just kill it.'. We take all kinds of precautions, and having to get an abortion would do some serious serious damage to both of us, and it's not something that we would do lightly, or at all if we could avoid it. Thing is though, it needs to be an option. While my argument seems to 'boil down to' I'm willing to kill something so that I can have sex, I feel that there's more to it then that, and that the situation isn't all black and white. Still, I see where you're coming from, and I guess you're right; I really do hold my existing children's lives in higher regard then a potential child I may have. Is this wrong? I guess it depends on who you ask. I wanted to understand what some of the main differences of opinions were between pro-life and pro-choice, and I have just found one.
Again, thank you for getting your point across so eloquently. *nods* Your stance makes a lot more sense to me now.
While I can understand where the quote that I first posted here is coming from, I *still* find it to be quite harsh. It makes the pro-choicers seem quite quite cruel, and while I agree that the pro-choice stance is quite selfish, I don't think that most of the people getting the abortions are doing it to be expressly cruel.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:06 pm
Tiger of the Fire Quote: I don't want to let anything get in the way of me being able to take care of my babies, even if it's another potential baby. You pretty much just said you get to decide who lives and who dies based on their importance and relevance to you, and whether or not they are a threat. That is selfish I didn't try to claim that it wasn't selfish. confused
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:07 pm
I think both sides are guilty of generalizations.
The biggest weapons are meant to fight the worst enemies. I don't think anything that anyone says here that is that hurtful is meant for someone on the other side who is kind and compassionate.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:16 pm
divineseraph Bullshit. How is killing someone thinking of them? I'm sorry, I cannot accept that as an answer. You are willing to kill a child to maintain your sexual relationship, yes? If the abortion is not selfish, then the means to creating the aborted fetus are.
Euthanasia?
I agree that it may be selfish, I see where you guys are coming from. I still see it as protecting my existing children, and the relationship that I have with my husband. I'd do the same thing if, say, hugging my husband could result in a pregnancy, or something that didn't involve sex. Sex is just a small part of the many things that I cherish with my relationship with my husband, and I hold it on the same level as being able to talk to him daily, or being able to fall asleep together at night.
Please, as angering as my opinions may be, I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes, or 'convert' or say why I'm 'right' in doing anything. I'm just trying to show that the pro-choicers aren't all heartless bastards the way that some pro-lifers seem to think (in the same way that pro-lifers care about everyone, not 'just the fetuses'). Please try to remain civil.
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:23 pm
kp is dcvi I think both sides are guilty of generalizations. The biggest weapons are meant to fight the worst enemies. I don't think anything that anyone says here that is that hurtful is meant for someone on the other side who is kind and compassionate. I guess I'm just really worried that the crazy pro-choicers in the ADT are going to be taken at face-value, and that some people will judge all pro-choicers by them.
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