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 Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:03 am
Ok so this is the only guild I feel comfy in.Like I know more of the people here.Im having a huge breakdown,and I know not of what to do...Ok so here it goes.I love my best freind,and we have a werid friendship,like I dont know how to explain it.In anycase I started to date my boyfriend,dusten like 2 an half months ago.I asked him my BFF Rob what he thjought,he got mad and said he was jelous or however you spell it.I dated my boyfreind and things were ok,for a bit.But about 3 weeks ago my best friends started dating his ex,who is a hor and needs to die.I hate her so bad.She took my best friend from me once...and now she's doing it again....But since he started to date her,Rob hasnt talked to me looked at me called me,NOTHING!I feel that he is too busy with her....for me....In any case The only way I hear or talk or anything with or about him is through my boyfriend dusten.Ok so Im breaking down,because I feel like Im losing my bestfriend,and Rob gf came down for 6 days and he said "Those were the best 6 days of my life EVER"
So the 3 years that I was his best friend,the 3 years I hang out with him almost every day...werent good enough....And now I found out that he's moving to washington(the state) to "start his life,and go to college there and to be with her" he's leaving me for her...He's gonna leave in about two weeks maybe less,and guess what?I dont get to say goodbye...he's not going to say goodbye to me or anything....He's just gonna leave and call me when he gets there...
Im not good enough to say good bye too,I feel so worthless.My boyfriend says that I should let him go but a few of my male friends say that I should get in his face and let him see just how much I hurt.And my female friends say that theres no way he would just leave without a goodbye...but I dont know...Another one of my friends said I should follow my heart...but its shattered and lost...I dont know what to do...Im a reck....I dont know...
Please give me alittle help....please... crying cry
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:02 pm
Okay so lemme get this straight. You and Dustin are together (But you still like your best friend Rob -love him even ((maybe in the friend way ..otherwise why would you date Dustin? No offence to him or anything)) And Rob is dating Dustin's ex? Who is evil? AND she monopolizes his time and lures him away from spending time with you . (Does she do this with his other friends too? If so wow do I feel sorry for him later... sweatdrop ) Anyways it actually sounds like you know exactly how you feel. The major points I got were
A: He was/is sorta jealous about you having a boyfriend (Whether this is because HE wanted to date you or just HAVE a GF too I'm not very clear on...)
B: You REALLY REALLY want to say goodbye or at least see him before he heads off.
C: Your boyfriend sounds kInDa bored on the subject... rolleyes
Anyways if you want my advice here it is:
First and most important hes like what? 18? he doesn't know what the best days of his life are! ANd comparing SIX days of obvious "fun-time" to three whole years of having you around in a best friend capacity (Where you are a constant and not a visiting GF with who knows what planned) isn't fair to you. AND does NOT mean he didn't enjoy his time hanging out with you and yours. Its probably the whole "he thinks about what happened yesterday "
Also I totally think you should say goodbye- just because he's leaving does not mean he cuts all ties and starts over. He'll need friends to share with- and only having the one GF could lead him to being overly dependant on her (Which if she's trying to seperate him from you, could be exactly what she wants. Maybe she sees you as a big influence in his life and wants you out -in other words -you're competiton)
But totally say goodbye or at least have a going away party! Tell him its to send him off in style!
In any case make sure he knows your his friend , you'll miss him (Don't diss or even mention the GF you'll get caught up on it) and that if you ever did anything to hurt him your sorry and hope he can forgive you and that you'll do the same for him so he can leave with a clean slate.
As for the realtionship relationship stuff uhh you really know the situation best -but think of it this way -If you don't do what you feel you should-will you think back on it and regret it? Wish it was different? (Though the whole wishing thing will probably happen no matter how it goes whee ) GOD I sound all corney and advicey and I don't even know if this helps you at all! Well at least you know I read it and wish you luck^.^
Oh yeah xp Good luck!
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:22 pm
lol ok so I get where your coming from.Ok the gf is my best friends ex,not my boyfriends.I know for a fact that she is no good.She hurt my best friend in the past.Plus my best friend wont talk to me,look at me of anything.Im not even suppose to know that he's leaving.He's going to call me,when he get there.After he's moved,is when he planned on telling me.My boyfriend told me because he doesnt want to hide things from me.But Dusten said that robby told him that he was moving when rob first met dusten.That robby has been planning this for 3 years.I've been left in the dark for 3 years....
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:26 am
MAybe it wasn't final until he actually got accepted. And it seems like an odd thing not to tell someone. (Not to get weird on you ..but did you and your group of friends EvEr have discussions on what you'd be doing after school? IE the moving away stuff?)
I think you should trick him ^.^
Like e-mail him for his going away party and when he asks how you knew just argue that he'd been planning it forever or somethig else ambiguous (Yes its wrong to lie but hey you get to have a party afterall...wow I sound like some kind of underpaid devil's advocate...)
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