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 Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:51 am
 For so long she had stayed in the clouds listening the rumors that would come in. Still, her son was a hot topic among the Angeni. Grudges that would forever be held for the 'crimes' he committed. They seemed to leave her well enough alone out of respect for her deceased mate. Raguel had really been respected as he was the one assigned to overlook the good behavior of the other Angeni.
She knew that he thought he was doing the right thing when he and a few others had gone to kill her Gabriel. She knew their plan hours before it was to take place. If they knew that she had warned her son of the impending attack and begged him to run away.. perhaps she too would have been cast out. But what was she to do? He was her son. How could any mother knowingly let their son be harmed, regardless of how different he might be?
Raguel had fallen and so had a few others. Gabriel was blamed though it had been self defense. He was not given a fair chance because in their eyes, he had already broken Angeni law. For a long time she had to sit by, alone with the love of her life and son lost to her.
But here she was, on the earth below, away from the clouded world above. When she heard rumors of Gabriel having forced himself upon a mare, she was furious but then rumors came in of two sons and a daughter that were produced from this attack. She was a Grandmother. She also heard rumors about Gabriel attacking his own little ones. She knew that he felt he was doing what was best. For so long he truly believed he was a monster, blaming himself for the death of his father. What else was he to do? She had to watch her son spiral further away from the good that existed within him.
She wasn't sure if she could help her son. He seemed so far gone, but she could try to help her grandsons and granddaughter. She could open them up to their heritage, try to get them to understand their father and perhaps if they cared enough, maybe they could all work together to bring Gabriel back.
She was sure that her grandsons and granddaughter were confused. Probably scared of their father. They probably questioned a lot of things and it was time they had some answers.
She wanted to meet them too. She wished she had known about them when they had been born, for it had been so long since she had been in the company of a foal, but having them in this world was special for her. She wanted to meet them. Tell them of their grandfather, tell them of the pride that runs through the family. She wanted to show them that they were loved, for she truly loved them though she had not met them. Knowing they were there filled her heart with such a brightness that she could feel herself wanting to burst. She no longer care what the other Angeni would think. This was her family. This was all she had left. She would embrace them.
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:25 am
 After speaking with his mother the day before, Dante awoke that morning feeling better than usual. He felt like a weight was lifted out of his brain, though the usual pains still erupted in his stomach. He awaited the day when he would wake up with nothing wrong with him, though at the moment, that seemed like a hope that was far away. His worries brought him down constantly, but it was also something he was used to. After collecting himself and rolling off of the ground, Dante stood up and shook his long mane, hoping to get many of the dirt and leaves out of his white mane.
Ugh. The day was cloudy, but at least it wasn't too sunny. Dante rather preferred when it was overcast, since he was able to blend in better. But the cold was rather uncomfortable, and the stallion shivered for a moment as he walked out of the shaded forest. There didn't seem to be anyone around him as usual, and once again he felt a swell of loneliness hit his side. He enjoyed being by himself, since he hated bothering others. But at the same time, he liked having someone else distracting him, so he didn't have to think about himself.
When he had reached an open field, the stallion bent down to munch on some grass, before spitting the yellow bits out instantly. The chilly weather was making the plants disgusting, and Dante scoffed at how nasty the plants tasted. If the fall season was already this depressing, he couldn't IMAGINE what winter was going to feel like. It was hard enough having stressful thoughts about Ezriel and his father always lurking in his mind, since they always seemed to be a changing subject.
He needed to do what his mother said, and let his father's words not bother him. He also needed to have faith in Ezriel.. but that also seemed like an impossible quest. There was so much happening around him, and what depressed him the most was that there was nothing HE could do about it.
With a sigh, Dante continued to walk, before lowering his ears and watching nothingness in the distance.
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:56 am
She flew between cloud and earth, swooping low as she scanned the ground below. The experience was so wonderful. It really had been so long since she had left the protection of the hidden world above. For hours she scanned the land for any sign of Gabriel's sons or daughters. Hadn't the angeni whispered that they were like their father? That they had both angeni and cursed features? They spoke as if it was a disgrace that the angeni features had passed on at all. It seemed that even the innocent were affected by the grudges of her own kind.
Finding any of them proved harder than she had thought it would be. So many lived in this land below. She tried to keep as low to the ground as she could so she could take in the details of the mares and stallions. No wonder the angeni chose to stay above. This place was so populated!
She had been flying for hours and her wings were growing tired. It wasn't until she was about to give up and land in a patch of clearing to rest that mere chance decided to make an appearance. Up ahead a lone stallion stood with his back to her but the spikes upon them were impossible to miss. Could.. that be.. one of them? She wasn't quite sure until he lifted his head from the ground and she was able to spot the angeni head wings. It couldn't be a coincidence!
She folded her wings down and started walking towards him, taking time to look at him. He certainly looked a bit like Gabriel, didn't he? She saw a lot of Raguel in him as well. "Excuse me," she called, "Are you one of Gabriel's sons? Though, I suppose you would know him here as Reaper, wouldn't you?"
She knew she really didn't have to ask. She could see generations of stallions she had come to love in the one before her. This was her grandson and he couldn't have been more beautiful.
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 12:20 am
Dante had too many reactions at once, and in his mind it was an array of messes. When he turned to look at the stunning mare behind him, he was overthrown in the realization that it was an angeni. She looked SO much like Meera, except many major differences of course. The stallion also had a huge emotional reaction to the mare's question, and Dante just stared into the female's eyes before gulping and taking a step back. Breathe.. breathe.. breathe..
"What.. what do you want?" Was she here to kill him too? Was fate finally catching up to Dante? Well, the mare didn't look as though she had a mean bone in her body, but these days Dante was cautious. He was ALWAYS cautious. She knew of his father, and that was sketchy enough."Why do you speak of him? Why are you reminding me.." he sighed for a moment before flicking his tail in annoyance. Couldn't he ever get a day where his mind was rid of thoughts of his terrible father? "I guess you can say I am one of his sons.. I guess.." he finally answered, before lowering his eyes in a usual fashion.
He wished he could deny such a fate, and he wished he was cocky enough to put up a false front. But no.. all of that was impossible for the young stallion, and with tired eyes he continued to watch the hooves of the mare in front of him, while avoiding major eye contact. While he was in his daze of thinking, he realized he had no idea who Gabriel was.. and what THAT meant. "Who are you?" he finally mustered, while staring confusedly.
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:37 am
It pained her a bit to see that things were so awkward for him. She should have expected as much. She had spent so much time thinking about how the Angeni were reacting to their existence that she hadn't thought about how others here might. Perhaps those around him thought poorly of him because of how his father was.
"I am your grandmother," she replied calmly, "Gabriel, er that is Reaper, he's my son. I don't think I will ever get used to his new name to be honest. I.. would have come here sooner.. but it's been complicating. The Angeni aren't too fond of your father but I couldn't keep myself away any longer. Oh, let me take a look at you. I see so much or Raguel in you." Tears were starting build up on her eyes.
She hoped he wouldn't resent her for staying away as long as she had. She had been weak with sadness. The loss of Raguel and her son being banished and cursed was a lot for her to bear. It also took awhile before the rumors of her grandchildren had reached her. It would probably be awkward for them to have her spring up out of nowhere when they were adults. "I'm sorry for just showing up like this.. perhaps it wasn't the best way to go," she admitted. "It's been so long since I've been around family and I fear that's killed any tact in me."
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:03 pm
Dante was quiet as the mare talked, since he was overly interested in her words. How could it be possible? This was.. his grandmother?! He couldn't put two and two together.
In front of him stood what looked and felt like an Angel, and the mare had connected herself with.. Reaper?!! "How could that be." he then said, while glancing into the mare's eyes. "How are you.. his father? Is that even possible?" With a quiet sigh, he shook his head while trying to get the image of Reaper out. "Why are you here.. are you here to kill me?" he then said, with closed eyes. That was Dante's fate, wasn't it? So why had this mare come into place? Her words, if anything, were proving the opposite to him. But he just couldn't understand.
Dante was worried, but there was something about the mare that made him feel comfortable. There was something beautiful about her voice, and it was elegant and warm. It was a completely different voice then Reaper's, so Dante was very shifty in his thought. "I guess I just can't see how you are Reaper's mother. But why do I feel like I can believe you?" How could something so terrible come from something so wonderful? Dante knew that from his own experiences, he was probably a lighter version of his father by gene, and that he was then deemed the weak runt of the litter. Because he didn't exemplify the same qualities as his father, he was basically deemed worthless.
But the mare spoke of wanting to meet him and his siblings, and Dante was curious as to why..
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:33 pm
She looked both shocked and hurt at his question. Why would she want to kill him? Did she come off in such a way? When she realized that was more curious then accusing, she let it pass. He had a right to question afterall. It was good that he did so.
"Well, your father didn't always look like that. The spikes and dark eyes.. and his tail.. those came after he was banished from the Angeni lands. They were part of his punishment for what he had done.. though I do not feel he really deserved such harsh treatment. He.. really had no choice. Imagine him with blue eyes and the lack of spikes.. and a long beautiful tail, much like yours only dark and streaked with red. He used to look so different," the end trailed off in a sigh. She had not directly seen the 'new' Gabriel, but she had heard it in detailed description. The Angeni seemed to boast about it enough.
"It's easy to see that Reaper comes from Angeni roots though he is no longer a true Angeni. He has fallen from their grace. I have not. I retain my Angeni features. You have these features in you, perhaps that helps you believe? Do you see many on this land with features such as yours? Features I am sure your brother and sister similarly share?"
She paused in thought before adding the obvious, at least it was obvious to her, "If your grandfather were alive, you'd know for sure. You look so much like him. Perhaps that's why Gabriel has not taken a liking to you. He was always stubborn." She was speaking mostly to herself as she found all this very curious. It would make sense that Gabriel would not like this one. From what she heard of his exploits, he seemed to want to run from his past, not be reminded of it.
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:48 pm
Dante felt like a child, since he was staring with awe and listening to the mare's words with uttermost care. With every new sentence she spoke, he felt more connected to her, and he started to believe her at the same time. "I'm sorry for doubting you, Miss. I have a hard time trusting others." Especially others he didn't know, that was for sure. "Though I think it would be hard to imagine my father from anything different then what he is.. so I can imagine that this is all very hard for you." Dante brought his sad eyes on the mare, realizing he suddenly felt awful for her. To watch someone change like that.. in a volt of shock, Dante lowered his ears suddenly before realizing the same could possibly happen with Ezriel...
"Watching someone change is scary." he then commented, before trying to calm himself from his ridiculing thoughts. "And I haven't seen many with these features. Maybe just a few others out there, but they haven't been that extreme. I am aware that I am different." Dante constantly reminded himself that, even if it wasn't blatant enough. Different was a terrible thing.
When the mare spoke of Dante's grandfather, the stallion flicked his tail, since he was more in shock that he looked like something. "My.. grandfather? Similar to me?" Wow.. talk about shocking. This grandfather of his must have been pretty important, especially if his grandmother remember him so well. "What was my grandfather like? I.. think its cool that he was different from Reaper." Well, he WANTED to think that, but in his mind, he knew being different from his father was basically wrong..
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:30 am
The mare beamed when he asked about Raguel. "Your grandfather was one of the mightiest Angeni. He was similar in color to you, though he had a bit more black to his body. He had wings like mine but they were as dark as night. I couldn't love another more than I loved that stallion. Everyone respected him. Everyone loved him. I don't think he had a single enemy in his entire life. He had a good heart, perhaps one of the brightest I have ever seen." She paused momentarily to remind herself that she would not cry.
"He had an important position amongst the Angeni, and this is where things got tragic really. It was his place to keep order amongst them. Any angeni that was not following the moral code and beliefs of our kind was to brought before the council. Gabriel... your father, he was never normal. Even as a foal, he would catch things and kill them, for no reason at all. Oh, don't get me wrong, he wasn't evil. He loved me and his father so very much. When we were together, he seemed like a true Angeni and indeed, he looked like one back then. But it seemed he would always wander off at times and do bad things to animals. Your father and I hid it from the other Angeni as long as we could because we knew what would happen but shortly after Gabriel had reached adulthood, the rumors got out. Then another Angeni caught him killing a fox one day, ignoring the fox as he pleaded for his life. He brought it to the council.
Once there, Raguel could not hide it. He had to do his duty and the Angeni were so outraged, partially at what Gabriel had done and partially at Raguel for 'betraying' them, that the demanded the worst punishment! They demanded that our Gabriel should die!" The mare couldn't stop the tears from forming. It was impossible to keep control any longer. The pain was unbearable. "Raguel told me about it and we agreed that we would give Gabriel a head start. He had to do his job. Your grandfather was doing what he thought was right. If he hadn't, perhaps the council would have killed us too. So we thought, we hoped and prayed that Gabriel would be able to run away. But the council and your grandfather caught up to him and a fight broke out. Raguel and the others were killed. I do not blame Gabriel.. it was self defense. I blame the council! Gabriel could have been saved if given a chance. He never hurt others of our kind then. I know it's no excuse.. but he was good to us. He was good to other soquili. He wasn't all bad. Death.. I just couldn't let him die. Raguel.. would have wanted it that way. I know that he would have wanted to die instead of see his son killed. I would if I were in a similar place. Who wants to see their baby die?"
The mare usually never lost her temper but she tore at the ground with her hooves. She was so furious at the council. She really did blame them for what happened. Surely Gabriel deserved punishment but to want to kill him? He was still so young then and he did have love in his heart. He had a lot of love. He just had darkness there too.
"The Angeni were outraged at the turn of events of course, so they prayed to their god, crying out the injustice of it all and begging for Gabriel to be punished. He lost most of his wings. He had them on his hooves and he had a second pair on his body. So no longer can he fly to the Angeni land. He was cast out forever. That wasn't enough though, for they gave him features of a demon. His beautiful tail.. no more. And those spikes.. they hurt him so much. Wounds that will never heal is what I heard. I think it's been driving him to madness and is what caused him to step fully into the darkness. I do not think Raguel died in vain though. I believe Gabriel still exists within the heart of this Reaper."
As the mare calmed down, she blushed deeply, "Oh dear me, I got a bit carried away, didn't I?"
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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:34 pm
Dante stopped all movements from his body, and he could only stare in complete shock at the mare's words. It was as long as a story, but as real as a memory. He felt awful as he watched the tears drip down her pure face, but the stallion only lowered his own eyes, while pawing at the ground himself. The entire story seemed surreal, and it was scary when the stallion imagined it all. "I.. never even knew that truth, or realized so much had happened. I can't.. I can't believe that all happened to you, and him." But still, in a way, he could. Something seemed wrong in the history of his father, and now he knew everything. He was able to imagine something other then the darkness he had seen, and it was strangely familiar. "I am glad you told me everything, I feel more connected for some reason." He brought his eyes back on his grandmother, and grinned lightly. "I guess I feel sort of silly that I didn't know any of that history, but I am thankful you would go out of your way to share that with me."
Dante, going off of what his mother and Amary did, took a step closer and snugged the mare on her shoulder bone. He snugged her lightly, before pulling back and smiling at her. "I am honored to be related to you, you are so strong and noble. You help me envision confidence, and happiness. I really am in awe by your presence."
Raguel, his grandmother, and his own father all had such important tasks, and it made Dante jealous. "Life had meaning for the three of you.. why was that?" he then blurted, while lowering his ears slightly. He really was a shameful creature, doubting life and its meaning all the time. "How does one know when life is meaningful? I don't have any history, or any pride.. why do I waste my time when you have been through so much?" Now the stallion felt bad, since he was clearly useless. Rather then sulking all day, he could be saving his father, and giving his grandmother hope. But he could never muster the courage or strength to confront his father, and that fact alone left the stallion even more depressed then before.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:08 am
Just when the mare though she had run out of tears, a new batch came forth when her grandson showed her affection. It was a small gesture but one she appreciated so much. She desperately wanted to get to know her grandson. Even though she may end up shunned by her 'friends' for coming here, she knew it was worth it. She had made the right decision and would never regret it.
"There's no way for you to know since the only one here that knew it was your father, and I think he's been trying to run as far away from it as he can. He will have to learn that he cannot run away from his past. He can only use them to shape a better future. But he's such a stubborn one."
Dante's next question caught her off guard, "All life has meaning. Sometimes it may take your entire life to find out what it is, but it's there. Some learn it early on but I think that's just fate. For example, Raguel learned his at a young age but perhaps he had to because his life would be cut short. I'm still learning my purpose and I've lived much longer than you. I still have trouble deciding on what to do because I never know what course is the right one. In the end, I just follow my heart. It's what lead me to you, after all."
The mare paused soften before taking a step closer and staring at her grandson straight in the eye, "I think you'll have something big ahead of you. I haven't seen anyone in this family not have an important role in this world or a great impact on another and I really can sense so much in you. If you spend so much time trying to find out what it is, you won't recognize it when it entices you with a visit. You can't make wondrous things happen. You have to let the pieces fall into place naturally."
She wanted to ask him what caused such thoughts. Such pain. Why he felt the way he did. But she was still new and she was afraid to pry. A lot of the roles the males in her life had played thus far have been high sacrifice ones. She really didn't want that for Dante. She hoped that whatever the fates had in store for him, it would be something wonderful. He really deserved it. She could sense so much good deep within him. If he could let free of his doubts, he could probably put some angeni to shame.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:00 pm
Dante was silent as the mare started crying again, since he felt awful for some reason. Why was she still crying? Was it his fault? He didn't want her to keep crying, she was too nice for that. He wanted her to smile like she was before, since crying was an expression of sadness.
But with the mare's words, Dante wondered if her crying really was because she was sad. If anything, she was being so positive and nice, giving him advice he had never heard before. "Even you get confused?" He then said, while looking at the mare with wide eyes. "But you seem so composed and confident, I would have never guessed that you get conflicted yourself." Following his heart.. what did his heart want? Truthfully, he had no idea. "What if I don't know what my heart wants? Or what if.. I don't trust myself?" He wondered if he was getting annoying, asking the mare all of these questions. Maybe his questions were the reason she kept crying and getting upset, and Dante wondered if he should stop asking them.
He did wonder what the mare meant when she told him to let the pieces fall naturally. His life did feel like a puzzle, and Dante wanted to throw the pieces somewhere so he didn't have to hear or look at them again. Everything was so confusing and frustrating, and sometimes it would be better to just, not have the puzzle in the first place.
But if there were no puzzle pieces.. Dante wouldn't have met the mare in front of him, since she was a new piece to his grand scheme of life. "I.. I think I am going to accept all of the pieces in my life, even if some of them are terrible. At least you bring me such amazing advice, and such a warm feeling. I wish you could meet my mother, she does the same thing. And Meera.. you would see such a resemblance." Finally allowing himself a soft smile, he raised his head before shining brightly at the mare. "I have something to aspire to be from now on, since I want to be like you." His father was not the role model he needed.. but it seemed that he found one now!
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:06 am
"I think everyone has inner conflict. Some may hide it better than others. That's the only difference, really. If you don't know what your heart wants, give it time. The world is a big place after all. Maybe you just need to soak it all up? Learn more about it and those within it? It's hard to know what you want if you don't know as much as you could." She was calming back down which she was thankful for. Like most females, she was less rational when she was emotional, be it for good or bad reasons.
"Though life may seem terrible at times, because terrible things certainly can happen, the good ones outshine them and make it all worthwhile. For example, if a terrible thing did not take place some time ago, you would not have your mother or your brother and sister. You would not have a grandmother to drown you with stories of your grandfather. I am sure you have friends and mean a lot to them, even if you might not know it. Everything fits. There's a reason for everything but sometimes, it takes time to find out what it is. And sometimes, you're not meant to know. Just meant to enjoy, learn or grow. Life is certainly a mysterious thing and I don't think anyone has been able to figure out how it works. If fate plays a part or if it's all just happenstance. I do know that if one spends too much time trying to figure it out, they will lose out on living in the moment. You don't get those moments back, Dante."
It touched her when he mentioned he wanted to be like her. But even she had her doubts. She felt like she wasn't a very good grandmother for it took her so long to make the decision to leave the angeni land. She had her own share of doubts and felt like if she had handled things differently back then, maybe Raguel wouldn't have died. She knew it was wrong to go back in time in her memories and play the what if game, but how could she not? She would always wonder what would have happened if she had done something differently.
But she believed in what she told Dante. Life was meant to be lived from moment to moment. And right now, she was with her grandson and things were looking brighter.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:54 pm
The stallion nodded at times as the mare spoke, understanding her words for what they meant. "It feels good to think back on every experience I've had, my grumpy and idiotic self always deems everything as 'pathetic'. But when I really think about it.. some of the things that have happened.. aren't really pathetic at all." His grandmother would be proud of him, since he had lots of friends and relationships, and others who genuinely cared for him! "You are so smart.. you know exactly what I don't understand, and now I feel like I CAN understand them. Most of the answers lie in myself." He was so grateful, he could barely take in normal amounts of air! But there was another thing that plagued him a bit..
"So.. when do you think you are going to talk to your son again? Do you think I should confront him some day? I don't fear death, though I fear him over death for some reason." It was another very specific question he had, since he had no idea for what he should do. "I feel like I should conquer what fears me the most, but I am not sure how one could do such a thing, when they are so afraid in actuality." He sighed slightly, while shuffling his legs. "I used to think that I had to find courage somewhere, and the last place I looked was myself." Heh, he really was a strange one. But he needed to get over his downer attitude, and look at experiences and life as something different! "My courage and trust in others is growing, so at least that is a step up." He then said, as if answering himself. Everything step was a step in the right direction, and that was all Dante needed to keep him moving.
"Goodness.. I feel as if I am draining all of this out of you, I am so sorry." He then added, while shaking his head with a smile. "Recovery doesn't happen overnight, does it?" If only, if only!
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:01 am
"I want to speak with Gabriel but I have to make sure he would be ready for it. If he saw me and was not ready, it would drive him away, making him far worse than he is right now. When one is taking such strides to avoid one's past, being forced to confront it can do more damage than good, you see."
She wanted to see her son. It had been too long. She wanted to see what he had become, see how much he had changed and see how much of the Gabriel she knew still existed. She wanted to nuzzle him and assure him that she did not blame him. That Raguel would not blame him.
"As for you, I cannot say. Only you would know that. I do think that he is becoming more comfortable with the idea of having you three in his life. It's only a matter of time before he accepts it entirely. From what I have heard, he started out aggressive and that aggressiveness has faded considerably when it comes to you and your siblings. One doesn't put aside hatred like that. I can only assume that it is not longer hatred that he feels. He hated the concept of having foals. I know I am not one to speak as I have not been around my Gabriel for a long time but I feel like I know my son." She wanted to believe she did. That what she felt was right. Raguel always said she had good instincts, hadn't he?
"One day at a time," she agreed. "I won't keep you any longer, Dante. I am thankful you gave this old mare such pleasant company these past hours. I need to get some rest. I'm not as agile as I used to be." She was more emotionally drained than physically but she did need to rest.
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