She lay curled in her den, as she had been lately, looking down at her sleeping children. They were bigger, both of them strong and well-developed. These cubs were fine examples of the Firekin blood, and better yet, they weren't related to royalty in anyway. For now, she and Makaa had preserved the line with their bond. Her sharp but kindly eyes ran over her daughter. She was a fine young girl, growing well and growing fast. Her mind was pure and sharp and her will was strong. Then her eyes shifted to her son, her orange-decorated son who held on him the only true trait of Makaa. He was willing to learn, desperate to become a true Firekin. He would succeed.
They both would.
She sighed in contentment, stretching out her nimble body. Joints popped and she turned her grizzled head to the outside. What of her other son? She pined for him, everyday. She thought to the slave family, wondered if they still lived, wondered if they were taking came of him. Her heart clenched. She wanted him back. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to teach and care for him and make sure he was being brought up right. What had she been thinking!?
What would happen if the boy ever found out? Would he hate her? Condemn her? When he was bigger and stronger he could crush her beneath his paws, wipe out the evil that had brought him so much pain.
"I did it for you." She croaked to her own demons, though deep down she knew she had done it for herself, for her parents. She didn't want to bring up unnatural firekin! Why oh why had he been born tan? She released a long, low sound, like nails against chalkboard, her body tensing. She didn't want her pale son to hate her, she wanted him to love her!
What had she been thinking?!
Her ears folded flat against her skull, her breathing came heavy. No, she needed to put it right. She needed to talk to him, to find him and explain herself. She needed to hold him close and apologise until she died.
"My little son..." She muttered through tear-blurred eyes. "What have I done?"
And then she saw the faces of her parents glaring down at her for her weakness. Her mother's head was drooped in shame and she turned away, her body fading. Her father, Paytah, stood there with a gaze of steel. He stared at Ripuka as if she were worse than a rogue, a non-blood. Then, without a word, he turned away, leaving his elderly daughter reeling with the pain of loss.
Snapping from her reverie she vowed to keep up her faith. Growling at herself for letting age soften her, she nursed her wounded heart and returned her gaze to her remaining children. Splendid cubs. Truly splendid. Atleast she had these two. Atleast she had them.
"One day you will meet you father." She whispered, thinking then of Makaa. Oh he was handsome. She remembered the first time she had set eyes on that orange form. He glowed with the intensity of the sun and in his voice there was pride and strength. If there was really anything called 'love at first sight' she had witnessed first hand what it could do. She had wanted him, truly wanted him. His scent had sent tingles down her spine, the rasp of his fur had been electric against her body. The look in her face had melted her. She had wooed him then, maybe because he had wanted to be wooed. She had talked him into mating with her, returning with her to her den.
Maybe it had been her lust to help her pride that had attracted her to him that day. Or maybe she did love him. Maybe she just wanted to feel wanted. She pined for Makaa too, for she wanted to feel his warmth as he lay beside her. She wanted to indulge in their midnight chats, their frolicking and playing. She had felt so young when she was with him. So very young. A warm ball of fire came alight in her belly, making her feel giddy with love for him.
She wanted more cubs.
Her body was old, yes, creaky and greying, but she was far from dead yet. Having this litter had revitalised her, given her something to live for. Her eyes had brightened, she had been eating better and everyday she woke to her cubs' beautiful faces and knew that they needed her.
But what of when they were grown and had left the den?
The coldness would return and so would her uselessness. Everyone in the lands knew her stories and she had no new ones to tell. She wanted fresh ears to listen to them, ears of her own children.
Ripuka lay her head on her paws and sighed. "He said he would come back one day to see you." She continued, speaking as if her children were listening to her. "Maybe when he returns he will bless my old body again." She sighed. "Maybe he'll mate with me again, maybe I'll have more cubs." Oh she ached for him, everything in her being lusted for that orange Firekin.
"Makaa..." She raised her head again, almost thinking that she could see him. "I love you."
And she lay her weary head down onto her paws, hoping that one day he would return to her and brighten her day.
Even for Ripuka this place didn't offer much happiness anymore. Their faith was leaving them, their Firekin spirit broken by Kidondo's words. She hated that lion, the lion she had thought of as son. She hated how he had tricked her, used her stories to play games. She hated him. If she could kill Kidondo she would and in her heart she knew they had not seen the last of him.
"Finar-si, you will stop him, right?" She whispered, hoarse. "You will not let him steal the traditions, will you?" She believed in Finar-si but Finar-si, apparently, did not believe in them anymore.
"I'm sorry you have been let down. I'm sorry the young ones no longer see the light. But if you were to return then everyone would believe...if you only just..."
She trailed off, too tired to go on. She had so much running through her mind, too much for her weary mind too take. She sighed, closed her eyes and before she slept, she saw in her mind's eyes, the desert shattering around her paws.
"The cubs live..." She whispered. "But in the end...will it make any difference? Will there be any Firekin left?"
/END
