|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:06 pm
Chegrin and Raissen's Life Please be respectful to both "pet" and owner by not posting within this thread unless you have their express permission. Failure to do otherwise may result in you and your posts' being reported to the administrators as well as going on DemonTainted's Celibate List.
Thank you for your time.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:18 pm
NAVIGATION
Post 1: Intro by DT
Post 2: Navigation (You are here!) Updates and who can post
Post 3: Photo Album/ Stages/ Family
Post 4: Raissen's influences
Post 5: Reserved
Post 6: Reserved
Post 7: Reserved
Post 8: Journal starts here! Who can post: DT, and other GCB owners who wish to Roleplay with Raissen in his house. Please PM me beforehand though, cause i'm really clingy when it comes to my journal.Updates: Whoo! New journal! Would have uploaded fanart with Journal, but my sketchbook was left in the City of No Scanners. stare
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:19 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:22 pm
Raissen's Influences Raissen's favorite posterKuja and Zidane from FFIX Books by Anne Rice, namely The Vampire Armand Dian's stripey sweater, gold sleigh bell, the color orange, and his habit of wearing black, A LOT. Steven Sondheim's Sweeney Todd, for haunting and very catchy music, and because it has a mystical tone.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:24 pm
Members of the household! Raissen is on the first post of this page.  Hikaro, Raissen's older sibling a Hououza Kodomo  Haku , another Hououza and Hikaro and Raissen's younger sibling  Tadriemos, Skegg  Mattenklainen, Fairy found by Haku- now lives on the windowsill.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:28 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:29 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:31 pm
Entry one June 2nd, 2005
Dear Journal,
I am now in posession of not one, but two children. And both by the most bizarre of circumstances; one by midnight metamorphosis, the other a strange twist on a present. It was a whole series of bizarre circumstances leading up to the aquisition of the second boy.
It was after some black tie affair I had attended. There was one man in particular who caught my attention, he seemed to be most out of place among the guests. He was rowdy, loud, and most likely polished off two or three bottles of fine wine all by himself. Clearly plastered, he spend the majority of time chatting up randome people, myself included.
The event had been winding to a steadily more depressing end, and I could tell this man was seriously feeling the effects of the alchohol and the heavy mood as he was slumped over in his chair, shirt half unbuttoned, tie lost somewhere on the floor. He seemed to have no one with him, and the butler was getting agitated with his presence. There were no more than five of us left.
I approached him, and gently touched his shoulder. He groaned once, and let out a wet hiccup.
"Hey," I said, leaning down to him, "Do you have a ride home?"
Another hiccup was my answer. His head swayed to the side and I could see his eyes were half open. I couldn't leave him in the state he was in,
"C'mon," I said, gathering his things, "I'll drive you home."
Leaning down, I helped him stand, and we swayed to the door. It was awkward, maneuvering a drunken man into my car, but he eventually collapsed into the back seat. In a slurred voice, he told me he lived at such and such manor. I knew basically where it was, real high class places.
The drive was quiet, only the hum of the car's engine and his light snore in the back seat. I thought on the evening with amusement, watching him is what made it bearable. I loosened my tie some, and focused on finding this man's home.
As we neared the block, I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"That one." He said, pointing unsteadily. I pulled up to the front gate, and let him out. I helped him up the front walk, and even opened the front door for him. Within the dark interior I spotted many pairs of glowing eyes. I thought, cats?
"Thank you." The man said, lurching inside. "You know, you're a sensible fellow...You know what...?" I never got an answer, he closed the door.
Two days later, there was a ring at my door. Hikaro of course bound to get it, as he always did. I was working on a poster for a callender, and so ignored it, soon however, Hikaro started shrieking.
"DAD! DAAAAAAAD DAD!" His voice carried across the house. I bolted up and dashed to the door, I thought, there's a man with a gun, it's the cops, the irs-- but no. It was just a boy.
A little redheaded boy with a blonde lock of hair falling over his eyes. He peered up at me, and handed me a card wordlessly, it read:
Dear Dian-
Thanks for the ride home. I didn't know at first how I GOT home, but my kids told me it was you. So as a thanks, you can have one of them, good luck!
I was puzzled, he knew my name, and my address, and he gave me a child!? The boy must have seen my puzzled look and quickly spoke up,
"Please don't send me back. I would rather stay here."
His voice was quiet, soft, serene. It contrasted with his look of catlike fierceness, and my son Hikaro's loud one. Said boy was eagerly tugging at my sweater,
"Can he please stay, please? It's so dull here by myself! Let him stay!"
That undid me, I succumbed and agreed, but said that he had to share Hika's room. Both boys smiled at this. Hikaro grasped the boy's hand and dragged him inside.
What have I gotten myself into?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:33 pm
Entry two, June 4th, 2005
Dear Journal,
I visited the adoption agency and officially adopted the boy. However, on the form, they asked his given name. I looked down at the kid, who was standing beside me, looking up expectantly with those midnight blue eyes of his.
He had been wearing my clothes, as Hika really didn't own any. A deep maroon turtleneck sweater, black pants and the shoes he was wearing before. I gazed at him for a long time and he me, before I finally wrote Raissen on the paper.
Raissen meant thinker, and rose. This boy whom had come into my life was both. A bright lad already, he had duly impressed both Hikaro and myself. It was an honor to officially bring him into my family. As I signed the paper and paid the fee, little Raissen nearly leapt into my arms and I gave him a fierce hug.
It's a little odd. Because Hikaro isn't exactly human, I didn't need to adopt him, he's classified as a pet still, but Hika is much more than that, as Raissen is as much a son to me now as well.
Red-headed and blonde boy in tow, we went shopping for a few things, and I was surprised to find Raissen lingering the longest in Hot topic, where Hika preferred land of the sun. Thus with two boys armed with clothes, we went home, where I had hoped to get some work finished.
No such luck.
As soon as we were home Raissen and Hikaro went off exploring the rooms, snooping about as detectives. Of course, my room was under particular surveillance. They were trying to dig up dirt on me. Both boys being young as they are, I’m sure neither understood much of what the got, and Hikaro quickly became bored, soon leaving to play at the creek.
But Raissen came to me. He found the posters I was working on. They were for a gay friendly business I had friends in, so I had agreed to do promotional posters for free. He had one in his hands, and he was staring at it. I knew something was up when he showed it to me.  "What is it?" I inquired, looking in his eyes. I was not ashamed, the picture was not dirty, and I thought it particularly beautiful.
"This one is my favorite." He said, looking back into my eyes with an unwavering gaze.
"What do you like about it?" I asked of him, and only then did he look down, scanning the poster for the aesthetic that pleased him.
"It's striking. Dark, and beautiful. He looks like...Like he's looking at someone who he loves, but he's nervous. The hair covers one of his eyes, and although his chest is bare, all of his jewlery acts as a shield he takes cover behind...He's beautiful." He stopped then, a gentle smile gracing his mouth.
I was shocked, more than just shocked though, I was appalled, surprised, proud and happy. I had no idea Raissen could look so deeply into something and dig around for something that moved him. He found it in this picture that I had done.
"...Can I keep him?" Raissen asked next. I found it odd he had said 'him' rather than 'it'. I thought if my son liked it so much, I could just do another picture for the company. I didn't have to give it away.
"Sure." Came my answer, quietly. Raissen's face lit up and he rushed off to his room, leaving me to my thoughts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:34 pm
Entry three, June 5th, 2005
Dear Journal,
I took the boys to the park today, my novel in tow. Both Hikaro and Raissen seemed to enjoy it immensely, they spent the entire time building an enormous sand castle and tower complete with a flag, moat, bridge and staircase.
I ended up watching all of the children more often than I read my book, as the way they interacted amused me greatly. Hikaro was all over the place as usual, while Raissen focused on construction and another green haired boy, named Ryo. I pondered about Raissen's focus on green hair, it seemed a common theme with him.
We had to leave when I remembered I scheduled a doctor's appointment for the two of them. Fortunately, both checked out fine, and Rai had already had his vaccinations.
Upon returning home, Hikaro headed off to take a nap, while Raissen sat in and watched me work, but unlike Hikaro, he watched me more than the piece I was constructing. I love both of my boys dearly.
After a while, I stopped working and instead looked at Raissen, I gazed straight into his emotive ocean eyes and did not waver my gaze. After a minute or so, he finally broke glances with me and looked at the floor, a hot blush on his cheeks. That was the first time I had ever seen him blush, or lose any sort of composure. It was curious. I chuckled softly and resumed my work. I was nearly finished with the fourth stone, which was half of the order. My lungs were full of marble dust, which was rather unpleasant. I opted to take a nap myself.
"Raissen," I began, brushing myself off. "I'm going to take a nap for a bit, wake me if anything happens." I said, and headed off for my bedroom. I took a detour for the bathroom, and when I finally approached my room, I was suprised to find Raissen in my bed already!
He cut me off before I could even utter a word.
"I'm tired too, and Hikaro sleeps crazy. Can I take a nap with you?" He asked, fixing me with those midnight blues again. My resolve instantly withered away. "Yeah, sure." I said and walked into the closet to change my clothes. I emerged in a light grey sweater with dark raccoon stripes and black pants, loose and light clothes I wore for naps.
As I climbed into bed, the kid snuggled up against me, skinny chilly little thing that he was. Within moments he was asleep, and I was playing with that little blonde streak he has on his head. Raissen...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:35 pm
Entry four, June 6th, 2005
Dear journal,
I at first thought Raissen was an outgoing boy, but now I realize how painfully shy he is. Not in an introverted or malicious way, but he seems to get frightened, and freezes up when he is nervous. I can tell his mind runs at a million miles a minute, but his muscles tense up and he can hardly utter anything. However, when he is with Hikaro or myself, he loosens up considerably. I hope he gets over this soon, he?s a sweet boy and too kind to be held in this grip of social paranoia.
I also note that he is a little depressed of late, although his face usually registers blankly. Sometimes when he is watching me work, or Hikaro sing, his eyes kind of fade out, and he sighs often. He says it?s because he wishes he had something he was accomplished at. I told him he just hasn?t tried to find anything yet, and if he explores himself, he?ll find his calling.
?When did you know when you wanted to make statues?? He asked me, and I looked at my half finished piece,
?Truthfully, I went through all of college thinking I was going to illustrate?Draw, if you will. However, I found that I couldn?t really focus for terribly long at a time with the flat image, and I turned to sculpture. I fell in love, so to speak, and have been doing it since.? I said quietly, patting the smooth hard muscle of this angel?s arm. Raissen walked up and touched the cold stone, and for the first time in a while, smiled at me.
One thing I noticed, Raissen requests to get his ears pierced. He wants two gold hoops, one in his lobe, one up higher, but I told him he had to wait until he was older. Raissen pouted for a while, but ran off soon. It?s getting late, more as it comes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:37 pm
Dear Journal,
I have gathered some paper and a pencil from dad to write my own thoughts. To try and gather them, make sort of them. It seems every one of my thoughts conflict with one another. I try to make friends, but some are so scary I don?t want them to notice me. I try to be special, but then I feel as though I?m being selfish. I love my father, but there is something about him that makes me both want to run away from him and grab tight and never let go.
I am so confused. Why can?t I be confident like the other boys? They all seem to know what they are doing. I don?t know if I want to be strong, like them, or to hide and let someone protect me, like a girl. I want both, and cannot decide.
I will do what I will do when the time comes.
Until then,
Raissen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:39 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:44 pm
Dear Journal,
Father has given me my own book to write a journal in, so I am trying my hand at it. Life has been good since I moved in. It hasn't been more than a short time but I have found both my father and my brother to be kind, patient people. Given of course I have not tried their patience, but I have the feeling neither would grow malicious at all, not like GD.
I have the feeling I unnerve my housemates however, I catch my father, Dian Chegrin giving me odd looks from time to time. I believe it to be more of a quest for understanding than a ridiculing look. Hikaro too, strives to understand just why I am what I am. He is not one to judge, being a bird boy himself. I must remind myself to write more on that later.
My father, I am growing more attached to him by the day, as I am my brother. At this point, if they asked me to leave the family, I think I should refuse, for I know they both love me as well. I have my father for the day, as Hikaro has him for the night. He has terrible dreams, and every night wakes up and seeks out father, and makes him sit with him, to ease his fears, which can take upwards of four hours. I once tried to sit with father this way, but Hikaro has him nights.
Thus, I use my days as much as I can. I watch him closely, following his every movement with my eyes. He is very calm and deliberate when he sculpts, and with an expert hand I have felt to be both fiercely strong, and trembling with timid gentility. I yet cannot ask him to touch me with those hands, but he does sometimes, on my head, on my shoulder, when giving me a hug. I take what I can, and watch him.
Hikaro is yet inexperienced, a canary without the courage to fly. I know he can do it, but he chooses not to, for what reasons I cannot imagine, and his wings become frail with disuse. I have learned he also has a lovely singing voice, which he now uses often during the day. The days are filled with creative joy. I do not have a particular skill that I possess myself, and I often feel awkward, out of place, that is most often directed at my own self. As I grow, I feel my still child soul unable to reach my spanning limbs, and I become more clumsy. But out of this spurns a new desire, the desire to be held, and guided, and safely led along the path to who I will become in the future. I find it most in my father.
He is very secure, my father, confident in his poise, his voice, his manner, his hands, everything he is. He is who I want, and who I want to become like.
I have tried a few things already to get his attention?little things. I thought for a long time he must have been like every man every movie I had ever seen, falling in love with women, I mean. I no longer know if this is the case, but I have caught him staring at my legs more than once. I took one of my shirts and made a small skirt from it, and I have worn it in place of my shorts from time to time with a sash. Sometimes, when I sat with him, watching him sculpt, I let it slip further and further up my leg, tantalizingly (or so I think.) But before long, he always asks me to pull it back down again, or to wear my shorts under it.
I am unsure why I have done these things, testing him, I suppose, but to what gain? I do not know, but hope to find out.
Always,
-Raissen
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:47 pm
Entry six, June 20th, 2005
Dear Journal,
I feel like such an idiot, I should never have done what I did. My lack of self control embarresses me to no small degree. I fear I may have ruined my relationship with my son. You see, after his growth spurt, there have been changes within him. I noticed it, the way he looks, how he acts, and most drastically, the way he dresses have been fantastically different from when he first showed up at my house.
For the most part, I have been fine with it, boys grow up after all, people change. But, there was something deep and disturbing that was occuring within him. Raissen, I mean. He was trying to...to...seduce me.
I know he was, even if I were blind I would know it. I've tried ignoring it, hoping that maybe he would grow out of it, but with no success. He does things, like, hitching up his skirts whenever I walk in, or pass by him. He's rolled up his shirt, and rubbed those delicious fingers down his stomach, all while looking directly at me. He's never said anything different, never confronted me, but I know what he's up to, and I don't like it.
That's what I keep telling myself. I don't like it. I hope that if I tell it to myself enough times, it will become true, even though in the back of my mind I know every time I say it, i'm lying. I'm telling a big fat white lie, and i'm afraid of it. Because if I know myself to be true, I admit to who I am, a perverted, grotesque monster in the shape of a man. I can't do that! But every time I see him in those tight tight shorts...My heart twists. I've never been good with temptations, I hate them with every fibre of my being and him, Raissen...
Raissen is temptation in tiny shorts.
So...I lashed out, I lashed out to protect myself and his virtue. I believe despite what he may think, he's misled. He saw me when I took him in as a sort of hero, and he's idolizing me. But I did it in a way I know is terrible now. Never in my life have I been so sharp to a child, and I saw the hurt in his eyes. He ran out then, and hasn't returned home.
I was angry then, but as the hours pass with no sign of him, I have begun wringing the skin from my hands from rubbing them with worry. Hikaro suggested looking for him, but I have no idea where to look. I called the mansion, and someone said they would look for him, but other than that, the park and the woods, I have no clue where he would be. He is my son, for Colt's sake. I've adopted him, and he is my son. I love him, and if he returns I would never yell at him again. I just want things to be right between us again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
