[PRP] What about Daddy?

[PhiferWolf]

Limbua's smile brightened more and more as the day passed on. Amile had gone out so she was left alone to do her own thing. She smiled happily as she moved about the den. Nothing there but their scent, more importantly, his. It was the only thing that kept her here while he was gone. How long had it been since they have been together? She could not remember the number of moons that passed since they reunited in the Pride Lands. Now they were home and they were together, that is what mattered, right? Now, what really interested her was... is it time? She stopped for a moment and thought about it. How old was mother when she had her? Why? When? Did she think that it was because their father was a god that the chance should not be passed up? Questions floated all around her head and she knew only two people can answer that. The ever so wise and noble father Limbuko or the one who brought her into this world; Hivu.

Without a second thought, she headed out the den, down the hill and back to where Mom was usually at.

In the trees, her most comfortable place in the jungle when traversing, she looked down below to see if she was around anywhere. Her lilac eyes peered through the leaves to find that oh so familiar black and white feline. Bu chuckled and slowly climbed down the tree.

"Mother! I found you. I wanted to talk to you about somethin' do you have some time?"  

[Atheare]

Hivu was looking quite pleased with herself, for no apparent reason. She was in her usual spot, pondering to herself and relishing in the fact that she may once again be pregnant, have even more children to care for, to love and be loved back. Her daughter's voice snapped her back to reality, and she was suddenly quite aware of the strong scent of the male cheetah Roho who had 'helped her along' in her desire for another litter.

"Of course dear, what is it?" She asked, trying to cover up her embarrassment and hoping that her daughter would not notice the strange new scent. It simply wouldn't do to influence her daughter that way, to tell her that it was alright to just let males do what ever they pleased with you... She especially didn't want to have to tell Bu that she had used the male for her own pleasure and selfish desires.

Hivu flicked her tail nervously, waiting for her daughter to speak. She suddenly felt guilty for doing these kinds of things behind her back... For not being truthful to her. She'd have to tell her eventually, but when would be the right time? She was surely old enough, even as old as Hivu had been when Bu was born! It seemed like such a long time ago...

Perhaps she'd have to tell her soon.  

[PhiferWolf]

"Hey! There you are, I wanted to talk to you about something," she started, fell down to the ground and mossied herself on over. "It's about Miles and I"

She purred as she came closer. She had never done anything with Miles quite yet, she always thought there was suppose to be an oppritune time to do something like that but she did not know when. Even for a seer, the time eluded her. Being the daughter of Limbuko, she was well in tune with another's desires to an extent by the way they acted or spoke. She smiled to her mother softly and chuckled. Her face was slowly turning red in embarassment, talking to her mother about something like this.

"Well, you see. I have been thinking. Miles and I have been together for such a long time now and well, I was thinking about starting a family. You know, cubs?" she chuckled. Sort of a nervous habit. "Well, I just dun know when I should ask him or if he wanted to. I just don't know how to go about this. I have never thought about asking him something like this, but I never thought I would have this much trouble! He hasn't even met Daddy yet, thank him for not visiting as of late or seeking me out. Perhaps it was better if he came becauase he is the God of Pleasure. Oh, what should I do?" she chuckled again. "I want to, but I just dunno!"

She let out a breath of relief for getting all of that out there for her mother than just bottling it up. She smiled and let out another breath.

"There, that's it."  

[Atheare]

Woah, wait, what? The entire subject (as well as the irony of the situation) startled Hivu, causing her to pause and think for a moment before responding. The entire prospect of the fact that she was getting old as well as the fact that her own daughter was thinking of cubs as well was a bit... Overwhelming.

"I think it's great that you want a family, sweetheart, and I think when it's time you'll both know it. It's just natural after that." She smiled, remembering her night with Lim as well as the other night with Roho. Still, she had used Roho, and felt bad for it... It wasn't quite the same. "I'm sure if you want him to meet Lim... It can be arranged." She winked, knowing that the god of pleasure usually showed up at the right moment.

"I'm sure you'd make a wonderful mother."  

[PhiferWolf]

Bu was overjoyed that her mother was so accepting of this, how she was encouraging it in a way. She could not wait to get back home to talk with Miles, of course being blunt was out the question. She knew Miles enough to know that he was rather shy guy when it came to affectionate displays, it was cute to say the least.

She chuckled, "Thanks, Mom, I am glad I have someone to talk to about this. Ku's gone, who knows where Nac is, and Dad is off doing his duty. And I dun think Miles will know anything about this either," with that chuckle, little did she know it may have been her last in a long while.

Her chuckle stopped abruptly, something in her mind pulled and banged like a headache or a migrain. Her facial features scrunched together as if something had taken a bite out of her. Images of all the times she was with Miles flashed like a slideshow in fast forward played in her mind with various phrases they had exchanged. As the show went on, the voices grew dim, softer, more quiet, and the images started to reel darker and darker until they were gone. No images, no voices. Alone in the darkness she stood herself. All around her was nothingness. All alone, she cries out for anyone. Lim. Hivu. Ku. Nac. Danga. Miles. She called them out as she ran in the darkness. No replies, only the echoing of her footsteps. Why would no one answer her? Where was Lim? He was suppose to be here for her, right? Where was Hivu? She was just talking to her. Where was Ku? Where was Nac? Siblings were suppose to look out for one another, right? Where was Miles? Shouldn't he be here? Shouldn't he be with her now? Why was she all alone? Where was she? How did she get here? She screams out for anyone. She was growing desperate to the point of calling out for even Tego. The disliked male she knew most. She needed someone, anyone. She was lost in the nothingness. Not even Miles, the one she loved so much was nowhere to be seen or heard of. It seemed like an eternity in that place. No one but herself. No voice or sounds but her own. As time passed on, somewhere in her heart told her that no one was gonna come for her. Lim could not hear her, he heard too many voices to hear just one, perhaps. Hivu was right there, did she run for help? Ku and nac, she had no idea where they were. But what hurt her most was Miles was not there. He was not with her. His voice. His laugh. His chuckle. His scent. Nothing. It was gone.

Her body became still. The moment of eternity was, in reality, a second or two. Before long, she collapsed to the side. Momentarily unconscious.  

[Atheare]

Hivu smiled, "Of course, any time you want to talk just let me know. I'll always be here for you." She loved the sound of her daughter laughing, relished in the fact that she had caused some happiness in the world, but then as quickly as it had come, it was gone...

"Bu?" She asked, slightly worried, "Bu? Are you alright?" She jumped slightly as her daughter fell to the ground, unconscious, "Bu, wake up! What happened?" She asked, sounding rather frantic.

"Say something!" She was getting worried, though she knew that Bu was alive still, she was panicking more than she should have. What should she do? Who could help? Why did she just fall over like that? Hivu was not yet used to Bu having visions, and the possibility barely crossed her mind.  

[PhiferWolf]

In the nothingness she laid in a ball, her eyes half closed as she tried to force thoughts out of her mind. Miles still loved her. Lim will come. Ku and Nac were nearby. Mother was returning with help. Denial. Shortly, she found herself yelling, cursing each of them. Lim was always gone, never there! Miles took so long to find her, for a cheetah he was slow! Mother was always doing something, what it was she never knew, but she never told! Ku seemed so strong but she was never around to protect her! Nac was the gentle one, but where was he when she needed some guidance in that area!? Anger. Everyone was gone. Miles. Lim. Hivu. Nac. Ku. All gone, moved on with their lives without her. Miles found a new mate. Lim was far into his duty to return. Ku fround a mate. Nac was off somewhere. Hivu was a happy mother. Where did she fit? The eldest daughter of Lim and Hivu? Was she destined to be alone? Forgotten? Her eyes welled up, the thought was disgusting. How could she be left behind? She harmed no one. She did not try to slander none. But she was the cause of Miles leaving his family, and Ku to be gone too. It was her fault but was she to be discarded like a bone? She cried so hard then that it hurt to breath, no one around to comfort her in the darkness. No one seemed to love her enough to.

It was then that a voice called out. The voice shattered the darkness into a dingy grey, a half way point it seemed as it called out.

"Bu?"

"Bu? Are you alright?"

"Bu, wake up!"

"What happened?"

"Say something!"

Suddenly her eyes opened. She remained motionless as the face of her mother loomed over her. First it was a sniffle. Her eyes watered quickly. Her face distorted to one of fear and emotional pain. Before long she covered her face and cried.  

[Atheare]

Hivu managed a weak smile as Bu's eyes opened, "Thank goodness, I thought something horrible happened to you! Are you alright?" She assumed the tears were a 'no', and went into panic mode again. She had never seen one of her children this upset... Sure, there were the little tears over petty things as cubs, but this seemed to be truly upsetting her daughter.

Hivu managed to calm down enough to try and comfort her, raising a paw and stroking her head gently. "There now dear, it's alright." She cooed, "What ever happened just now... It's over. Everything is going to be alright."  

[PhiferWolf]

"Why... am I so alone?" she cried through her paws, rolling over onto her stomach. Her voice muffled from the wall placed between her maw and the air. She felt terrible, just moments ago she was happy and glad that she was prepared to talk to Miles about something so important and in a second, to her an eternity, that came all crashing down. Nothing seemed right, her mind ached, her body pained, and the tears would not stop-no, she did not want them to. Tears had their reason and this called for it.

"Why did.... everyone leave .... me?" she sobbed. "What is.... wrong... with me?"

By far, in her life, this was her most powerful vision she has had, one she never encountered before. Before this day, her visions were quick shots and words of the future that did not seem to do much of anything. Why, they rarely came to her. She didn't understand it, why it happened. She was alone. Did Nac have his own life? Did Ku have her own life? Hivu was still here. Where was Lim? Most importantly, what scared her most... did she lose Miles?

Deep down... something in her heart told her that it was true.  

[Atheare]

"But you're not alone, Bu." She frowned, "I'm here, and so is your bother. Ku is only gone because she was trying to find you. One day she'll come back, I know it!" She hated having to preach something that she had been guilty of feeling at times though, and understood how lonely the world could seem. Her first love had left her for no apparent reason, and then Lim couldn't stay either... The world was a lonely place, that's what she had learned. But the pain caused by that loneliness... It could be dulled by those close to your heart.

"Nothing is wrong with you, you're perfect just the way you are." She licked Bu's head affectionately, laying down beside her and placing her head on the ground next to Bu's, just like when she was a cub. "Are you going to be okay?"  

[PhiferWolf]

"He's gone... He's not gonna come back, will he? He's gone...." he sobbed she did not want to stop. She had never cried this much since she was younger. She could not remember when she last time cried. She finally admit to herself that it was true.

He was really gone.

Without much proof, she accepted it and she could not control herself. She shook and cried, she sniffed, and remained where she was. Miles was gone. He must have left that morning to leave her. She had no idea where she went. She had no idea why or where... There must have been something wrong that drove him away. What did she do? What was wrong?

"Everything... we've been through... going out... the people we met... all to find each other... was it all for nothing?" she sobbed again. She felt so useless then. Everything she had gone through in her life. Leaving the jungle, talking to strangers, just living on her own... was it all for nothing? She felt like a discarded bone after being chewed on for pleasure. One of temporary purpose. She could not stop crying, she wanted it to all wash away.  

[Atheare]

Hivu was now quite confused, but tried to make sense of what Bu was saying. "Who's gone? Daddy? He's going to come back, don't you worry yourself about that." She whispered, doing her honest best to comfort her.

Then it clicked as the next round of words flowed from Bu's mouth, "Miles? Honey, he's still here. Why, just a minute ago you were talking about cubs!" She paused, "Did you... Did you have a vision just now?"

Hivu was in awe, she had nearly forgotten that her children were seers... What was she to do when these things happened?  

[PhiferWolf]

"No! Don't call him! If he comes, he might get mad, he doesn't even know about Miles! I don't know what he will do!" she exclaimed, trying to interject a suspected call for the God of Pleasure. She knew that her father may heed her mother's call and come to the jungle for the sole purpose of seeing her. She knew that if Lim really wanted to come, for his children, he would have came or visited more often.

"Miles is gone, I know he is... he's not here. He was gone when I woke up... I just thought he went out to hunt, but I dunno. I just... I just dunno..." she sobbed again, her tears flowing again. A vision... that was right, she was a daughter of a god. She was gifted with such an ability that not many knew or were blessed with. A demi-god of sort. She had not had a vision since she was a cub, and this one... this was not like before. Before she would just see something but something this powerful? So much that it pained her so? Why? Why now?

"I have never been wrong... *sob* never..."  

[Atheare]

Hivu was unsure of what to say, but did her best to stay calm. "Don't worry yourself honey, I'm sure he would not be angry." She patted Bu gently on the head with her paw, "Your father would never be upset with you for that, but if you don't want me to, I won't ask him to come." She purred reassuringly.

Bu's words brought memories to the surface of her first love, Ixachy... They cut like a knife as she remembered how she had felt when he had left without a word, leaving her in her sorrow. She still had no idea what had happened to him. Perhaps he had just stood her up, but perhaps he had gone hunting and tragedy had befallen him. There was no way of knowing. Still, with the bad there was also the good. "I know how you feel, Bu. I really do." She said softly, "The exact same thing happened to me when I was your age... But then I met your father." She managed a small smile. "All is not lost."

The guilt of not telling her child about what she had done with Roho though... That still burned in her heart. She'd have to tell her, but what would happen if the news made her even more upset? Hivu didn't think she could bear bringing more bad news into Bu's day.

But it still had to be said.  

[PhiferWolf]

Bu sniffled and shook her head, she did not want to do anything right now-no, she did not want to do anything at all. For the moment, she only desired one thing and he was gone, however, he did leave something behind and that was the den they had made together. Though it was empty now, his scent still lingered. All she had left of him was his memory and his scent. She could never forget her first love, how great it was, how bad it was... all the fun and danger they went through. It was just hard for her to accept that he was gone from her. She had no idea why, but something must have ticked the male off about something.

Then it hit her. The same time Limbuko came around? When mom met Lim...

That was it!

"I... I haven't gone in estus.... Mother, I haven't gone into heat. Not once, isn't that... isn't that what we do when we are able to concieve cubs?" she stared at her mother. That was right, she knew that females fell into heat throughout the twelve moon cycles before starting all over again. But she had not... why hadn't she gone through a heat yet? Was it because....

She murmured to herself as panic slowly overtaken her heart and possibly knowing the reason why Miles had left her.

('Maybe... it is lost.")