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 Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 5:25 am
 Tiredly picking his way through the briar and bracken, Phobos wondered the forest at the edge of a great, roaring river. His paws walked Free Land, land owned by no wolf, but he had to be careful; various packlands surrounded him and he could easily stumble upon them if he wasn't careful. Being little more than pelt and bones, he could only put up a poor fight.
Lolling tongue seeking water, his sore paws made their way to the river. It rushed by with the power of a herd of blue, raging stallions, striking the various stones with a thunderous roar. It took him some time, but he finally found a secluded dip in the bank, where the water gathered far more quietly. Dipping his shaggy head, he drank, his thirst so severe, and the water so refreshing, his normally ever keen eyes closed in relief.
Not only that, but he was upwind of an approaching wolf, and the roaring of the river drowned out the sound of paws on gravel. He was as good as easy meat.
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:33 pm
 Bia moved swiftly and silently along the roaring river, she was ever following the rush. She was soothed by wind rushing past her ears, water rushing across her skin, the earth rushing past her paws. As long as things moved around her they reminded her she was alive, she was alone, she had escaped her madness.
Surley there was madness in her veins, that she had avoided it so far when it had touched her children only proved what a wretched mother she could have been. It was far better to leave the crazed pups to be raised in sanity then to taint them further with her repressed psychosis.
It had to be repressed! She looked around and at the river in confusion, like everyday, today she asked herself 'Am I crazy now?'
Today perhaps she was indeed finally showing a sign of madness for her nose twiched as she lifted her head and for a moment she could have sworn she smelled a familiar scent. Bia slipped further slowly following the river untilshe spotted a spotted scrawny male. She stood still and silent staring at him in shock, she had gone mad!
Madness alone could explain why she was seeing grown, starved, scrawny versions of her pups. Madness alone could account for the scent of family, family...the word made her shudder in horror. She could never have a family she was insane, she had to be how else would her childrne have ended up so deranged. Granted she didn't have proof that they had all gone completely psychotic, but her guess was probably pretty close.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:32 am
Movement out of the corner of his eye made Phobos lift his head, his body jerking backwards a step in surprise. His tattered ears slowly flattened against his skull and his tail crept between his thin legs, lips rising over his fangs in a silent snarl.
The strange wolf was staring at him as if he had two heads, and it seriously pissed him off. So many wolves had stared at him like that, yet whenever he looked at his reflection in the muddy pools, or swift flowing rivers, all he saw was a creature who's body showed the harshness of his life. Maybe they could all sense the reason why his family abandoned him, even though he didn't know the reason himself. He only knew that when he awoke that cold, snowy morning, he had been alone, his teeth barely cutting his gums.
And because he had been so young, he didn't recognize that it was his mother that stood a dozen feet away from him, her eyes wide in what could only be fright.
Finding a voice he hadn't used in what felt like months, Phobos snarled out, "What the hell do you want?" Though unused, his voice was rich and deep, a near match of the brother he didn't know, who's land bordered the river he drank from. The Fates surely laughed at him, finding both mother and brother in the same day, though he didn't know it yet.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:49 pm
Bia's eyes widened as the male addressed her in such a direct manner. She slunk a bit closer to the river edge and gazed at him before inhaling deeply and moving closer her paws in the icy waters now. Her son it couldn't be? Yet how could a mother even one as wretched and insane as she, not recognize her own blood.
"Phobos..." She said the name with a quiet haunted reverence unable to tear her gaze away from her son.
"Have I finally reached madness? Are you an illusion? Or are you my own abandoned blood?" She tilted her head and gazed at the scrawny male wondering why her illusion didn't look healthier. Perhaps she thought her conscious was pnishing her by showing her how her children had suffered without their mothers care. What care, though, could she have given them while trying to ensure she remained sane?
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 3:53 am
His lips curled over his glimmering fangs as his tattered ears flattened even more to his skull. "How do you know my name?" he questioned, barely keeping the snarl out of his voice. "Who are you?"
Even thin and ragged, almost more so because of his state, his bristled fur made him an imposing sight; although he had been the runt of his litter, he was still a large wolf. He was only small in comparison to the brother he didn't remember.
"And those who are mad deep down are the only ones who talk of such things. You must be drunk off rotting meat, she-wolf."
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:34 pm
"Your name...how could I not know the names of my own children?" She held back a sob and gasped softly instead trying to reign in her emotions terrified she had finally snapped. Her mind raced ahead of her tounge an dkept her mute for a moment while she slipped further and further into the river the water tugging her a bit.
She stared at Phobos long and hard not the least bit intimidated by what she concieved could only be a cruel trick of her mind. With a soft huff Bia finally regained the ability to speak and shook her head. "No I make fresh kills...I cannot be sick, perhaps my mind is, but that is why I left you..." She moved closer the water splashing against her muzzle and ears now, standing in the deep roaring waters was perhaps unwise.
"I swear I left you for your own good! I did not want to taint you like your sister! I couldn't stay!" she gasped a bit and started to paddle to keep the water from carrying her off, she had to make this figment of her imagination understand. If it understood perhaps she wouldn't be so haunted.
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:46 pm
"Children? What the . . . " He paused, realizing that the pathetic creature was only a few seconds away from being swept downriver. Growling in annoyance, he leapt forward, his teeth catching the scruff of her neck. "Damn it all," he grumbled between her fur as he dragged her through the raging water towards the bank, where he dropped her with a snort.
"Stay away from the water, would you? I'd rather not go for another swim." Phobos sent water droplets in every direction as he gave his thin body a vigorous shake, shivering slightly.
"Now what the hell are you talking about?"
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:51 am
Bia was in shock, how did the figment of her imagination save her from a watery grave? She stared up at him and her mind slowly bent around the idea that perhaps she wasn't seeing things. Granted at the moment if Phobos were a vision she wouldn't have felt the guilt doubling up inside her.
"I..." she took a deep breath at a loss for words for a moment.
"I thank you..." she finally muttered softly.
What kind of twist of fate was this running into her grown children, and why didn't he seem crazy? Had he too learned to mask his insanity? Was he like his sister who could seem so innocent and healthy one moment and deranged the next? She slowly sat up and tore her gaze away from him.
"I'm Bia...and...you...are...Phobos, one of my...children." She staggered over the words and looked around as if ready to turn tail and run.
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 2:46 am
It suddenly came back to him, an image from his puppyhood. It was the only one that he remembered, and he had carried it with him ever since: a great white face crying blood-red tears.
He had thought it only a figment of his imagination, but now as he stared closer at the bedraggled wolf before him, he saw those same blood-red tears set in the same white face. Only this time, he was bigger than her. He wasn't a defenseless pup anymore.
"Mother . . . ?" He stared at her, speechless, and then rage blossomed in his chest, constricting his lungs. His vision turned red and a snarl ripped from his throat. How dare she return to him now, after abandoning him before he could barely eat?
Before he could stop himself, he lunged at her but turned his snapping teeth away at the last minute and dug his claws into the dry ground, stopping only inches from her. His entire body was singing with his rage, his legs stiff, tail straight out behind him, ears pressed so far into his skull they hurt.
"Leave. NOW!"
If she didn't, he was sure he would hurt her. As much as it appealed to him, he didn't need blood on his paws. He had never hurt another wolf, and he didn't feel like starting now.
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 10:30 am
Bia looked at him with a slight ray of hope in her eyes as he called her mother. How long it had been since she had given up hearing herself addressed as such. The snarl and lunge quickly slashed through the hope that had started and she leapt back agahst.
The she wolf could only stare at one of her children and wonder if they all hated her so for abandoning them. If only she could explain that she hadn't wanted to taint them the way she had their sister. Though she could not pinpoin her own insanity she knew it had to exist somehow within her. How else would her first born have become so deranged under her care?
"Please...I..." She knew not what she wanted, a second chance to be with the family she had left long ago? To know that not only one, but all of her children had survived? What right did she have to request anything? Except the small right of a mother, but even that she couldn't claim since she had done such a terrible thing and fled from her own children.
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 12:28 pm
"Please? Please?! You abandoned me!" he roared, suddenly pacing back and forth so that he wouldn't do anything he regretted. Phobos didn't say 'us' because he didn't remember his brother, just as Deimos didn't remember him. It was then he remembered her words from before, and pieced it all together.
"You left me . . . because you thought I would somehow catch your insanity? What insanity!? I smell no sickness on you. Nothing! Besides, better to grow up with an insane parent than without any parents at all." His last words had become more quiet, tinged with the pain he'd felt for so long. All these years, he had, deep down, thought that his mother and father had left because of him . . . that they hadn't wanted him . . . He had to know.
Very softly, he asked, "Where's my father?"
((Bia doesn't know that Ares died . . . If you want to know how he died, it's in Deimos' history section in my guild journal))
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 12:39 pm
Bia frowned and tilted her head confused the story of her son made no sense, she had left them yes, but she had left him in the care of his father with his brother as well. She took a deep breath and sat down she owed it to Phobos to explain.
"I...left yes. I thought I could save you from whatever malady was in me! I must be insane because you had a sister long ago, she was...mad...I feared that my being there with you and your brother would turn you just as crazy. But I left you both with your father! I don't understand why...why your alone? You had your father and brother...and you should have been alright without me." She frowned and looked at him rying to figure out what had happened.
She remembered all to well slipping away sadly nuzzling her mate while he slept and nosing her pups trying to figure out if they would be alright without her milk. Then she had turned and run and run across rivers to hide her scent and trail, never looking back for fear of what she would remember or see.
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Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 9:26 am
Now he had a brother too? A brother who also abandoned him? And and older sister . . . It just kept getting more and more pathetic. No one had wanted him. No one!
His growls turning to soft whimpers, Phobos let his head fall, nose nearly touching the earth. He almost seemed to fall in upon himself, closing up. His tail crept between his legs, and his shoulders hunched.
"You said I have an older sister that's . . . crazy . . . is her father also mine?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 10:10 am
Bia frowned as she watched her son crumble, this was her doing, she had left her own children shattered and without parents. How could this have happened what had happened to draw their father away and leave them seperated? She slipped closer and gently nuzzled Phobos, in her heart she couldn't bear to hear the whimpers. When she had left they had been sleeping soundly, no painful thoughts had entered their little minds, she had kept them close and warm despite the harsh winter.
"Moirai was her name, and no her father was not that of you and your brother. I left her...when she was older...I had tainted her." Bia took a deep breath.
"She was so angry, and sad, and hurtful...she would hear voices in her head and then rip at me with puppy fangs with such ferocity. I would think one moment she wanted to kill me and the next she would be confused and crying." Bia shivered.
"I did not want to pass the same sickness to you and your brother, I left before it was too late." Bia gently licked his scruff.
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Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 12:51 pm
Phobos had grown ridged as soon as she touched him. She didn't have that right, to touch him and comfort him. She had abandoned him. Growling, he slipped away from her touches and put some distance between them again.
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe it wasn't you?" he questioned, angry. In a way, she had been selfish, thinking the sickness could only have come from her. Yet there was no sickness in him. He was sure of it. He didn't know about his . . . brother . . . but Phobos was not crazy. If Moirai was, yet Bia was not, than it only made sense that whoever Moirai's father was, was the one who was sick.
((Is it okay if I bring Deimos in?))
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