Welcome to Gaia! ::

Note from the Author: This is what happens when I get together on AIM Chat on a summer day with a bunch of bored friends. Add in some Mountain Dew and insanity ensues.
Here's who played who (none are members of Gaia. just my friends. 3 of which, i lost touch with since this was written 3 years ago):
Me- Tara
Robin- Raia
Kevin (spoof king and leader of the whole storyline)- Guy
Brad- Dark Knight
Mike- Manave
**********
Next Post contains story

Rating:
-I'd say PG-13 cuz some characters die.

it includes...
~mild violence
~some swearing


It was a beautiful summer day. A perfect day to go on an adventure, or to be lazy. Tara Kavanagh sat under a large tree next to a sleeping Raia Chitoshi. Dark Knight dozed in the branches above. Manave Sulanul hovered above the tree playing a flute.

Guy Roads, Raia's fiance, sighed. “We seriously need to do something.”

“Agreed,” said Tara. She pulled a bag of cookies out of her backpack. “Anyone want some homemade sugar high?”

Dark Knight opened his eyes and looked down at Tara. “Can I have one, please?”

“Sure,” said Tara. “Got plenty.” She tossed some up to him.

Raia woke, stood up and stretched. “That was nice,” she sighed. Then she glared at Dark Knight, who was greedily shoving his cookie into his mouth. “It'd be even nicer if I didn’t have crumbs in my hair!!”

Dark Knight went red and tried, but failed, to hide. "Sorry, 'bout that."

Suddenly, there was an earthquake. Raia grabbed onto Guy to gain her balance. Dark Knight fell out of his perch in the tree and landed on Tara's back. When the quake stopped, the scenery was changed. They were no longer in the park. They were in a city.

“Dark Knight?” asked Tara. “Could you please GET THE HELL OFF ME?”

“Oops, sorry.” He stood and Tara, groaning, got to her feet and dusted off her clothes.

“Yipes!” Raia exclaimed. She jumped onto the curb as a car sped by. “Uh, where are we?” she asked.

“I don’t….” Guy began. Suddenly a sinister laugh was heard. “Okay, that is never good.”

Raia and Tara looked around for the source of the laughter. The voice began to sing. “Come and play. Everything’s a-okay.”

“Okay, this is getting creepy,” said Tara.

As she spoke, the garbage can behind them rattled. Dark Knight leapt into Tara’s arms, Scooby Doo style. She rolled her eyes and promptly dropped him. “Will you quit?” He began to speak but Tara waved her hand. "I know, DK. You're sorry."

Guy crept over to the garbage can and opened it. Before anyone could blink, he was pulled inside. “Guy!!” Raia screamed.

“Who votes we just leave and pretend this never happened?” declared Dark Knight. Raia glared at him before she and Tara zapped him.

The can opened and Guy was sent flying through the air and across the street. He looked bruised and beat up. Tara, Raia, Dark Knight, and Manave ran across to make sure he was okay.

“Guy! Are you alright?” Raia asked, kneeling beside him.

“Peachy,” he said as he picked trash off him.

“What happened?” Tara asked.

“A big green thing kicked my a**!” Guy said. He looked at Raia as she stroked his cheek. “I’m okay, really, Raia.” He stood off and finished cleaning himself off. “I get the feeling I have seen this place before.”

“Can you be more specific than ‘big green thing?’” Raia asked.

“Not right now, love,” Guy whispered. A rumble was heard.

Raia grabbed Guy’s arm. “What was that?”

“Dark Knight’s stomach?” suggested Tara.

“Not funny,” Dark Knight snapped as he hid behind Raia. The ground shook.

“Another quake?” asked Manave.

“Why do I have a very Jurassic Park-y feeling?” said Raia.

She just finished speaking as a massive brown furry creature with a long trunk charged right at them. Raia screamed and dove out of the way. Tara barely dodged it. Guy did a flying leap over it, taking Dark Knight with him as he cried out in a loud, whiney tone, “I WANNA HUG THE MAMMOTH!!”

“Okay, what was that?” Tara demanded, trying to keep from shaking.

Raia stood up and dusted herself off. “It’s the frickin’ ghetto Sesame Street!” she exclaimed.

Guy hummed the song they had heard earlier. “Come and play… everything’s a okay.” He looked at Raia. “Holy crap, you’re right!”

“Oh, God, I wasn’t serious!” cried Raia.

Suddenly, Guy is grabbed by something big and yellow. “Was that Evil Big Bird?” exclaimed Tara.

Raia drew her bow and an arrow and fired at Big Bird, who screamed in agony and dropped Guy. He landed on Raia as a giant Cookie Monster grabbed Tara.

“ME LOVE COOKIES!” it screamed and tried to rip her backpack from her body.

“DIE SPAWN OF OREOS!” cried Dark Knight. But he did nothing to help rescue. He just stood there screaming, and shaking his fist at the giant blue puppet.

A flash of light was seen and Cookie Monster was knocked away by a figure in a black robe, sending Tara into the air. She cast a levitation spell and landed safely on her feet.

“Alright,” she said. “What the hell?”

Guy stood, realizing he was on top of Raia. He helped her to her feet and helped dust off her clothes. They all looked up to see the figure in black hovering over them.

“What the hell?” it said.

“Is there an echo here?” Tara murmured to Raia.

“Who are you?” said the figure.

“I’m afraid to answer,” said Raia.

Everyone hesitated then Guy spoke up. “I am Guy, and… Wait, what the hell is going on?”

The figure landed. “What is going on is that you are in the middle of a war.”

“A war? On Sesame Street?” Raia and Tara exclaimed in unison.

The Snuffleuphigus sounded his trumpet. The figure looked at the group. “Come with me, if you want to live.”

Raia stood her ground. “I’ve had my fill of trusting shadowy, stranger people.”

Guy walked over to the figure and snatched the cloak away. Everyone gasped as they looked at Super Grover.

“Oh, you have GOT to be kidding!” said Guy.

“I’ll take my chances with the Grouch,” said Raia.

“Ooh,” said Manave. “Is THAT who that was?”

Raia and Tara stood on either side of him and smacked him on the head. “Yeah, genius!” said Tara. “Let’s think. Big, green, lives in a garbage can on Sesame Street. Do the math!”

But all Manave could say was “OWWY! Stupid witch!”

“We are in the middle of a war,” Grover repeated. “Between me and the spawn of Satan.”

"Barney?" asked Manave.

Grover shook his head. "Nope."

"Raia?" asked Dark Knight.

Raia smacked him. Dark Knight began to cry. "I'm right here, idiot!"

Guy thought for a moment then frowned. “Andy d**k?”

Super Grover lunged and began throttling Guy. “No, not Andy d**k, you moron!” he screamed. “My arch nemesis! The muppet that destroyed Sesame Street”

Raia pried Grover off of Guy. “Back off, jacko!”

“Elmo?” asked Tara. Grover nodded, sadly,

Dark Knight fell to his knees and cried harder. “No! Not Elmo! He’s so the COOLEST!”

“Elmo is trying to take over Sesame Street by brainwashing those he can,” he stared sadly at the ground. “And killing those he can’t.”

“Okay, please tell us how to stop this so we can go home and maintain what’s left of out sanity!” said Tara.

“We have to drive a silver letter I through his felt heart,” said Grover.

While all this was going on, Manave opened a portal. “Follow me.” When no one paid any attention to him, he left.

“Oh, man, this just gets better and better,” sighed Tara. “A what?”

“A silver letter I,” said Grover. He withdrew one from his pocket.

“I should have followed Manave,” said Dark Knight. “We could have gotten out of this mess.”

“You would!” said Tara.

“You wanna start something, girlie girl?” Dark Knight snapped.

“Who you callin’ girlie girl?” Tara snapped back.

*Tara, stop it,* Raia said, telepathicly. *Trust me, he’s not worth your energy. Let’s just kill the muppet and get it over with, okay?*

*Fine,* replied Tara. She glared at Dark Knight and zapped him just because.

“Shall we go?” Grover said.

“Yeah, where is Elmo?” asked Tara. Grover pointed to the giant tower about ten yards from where they stood.

“Elmo… World… T-tower!” Dark Knight stammered before passing out.

“I fail to understand how we missed that!” said Guy. “Seriously, the thing is 100 feet tall!”

Raia grabbed the Silver I from Grover and headed toward the tower, followed by Tara, and Guy. Dark Knight lay unconscious for a moment, then he woke up and, realizing he was alone, ran after them crying. “HEY! WAIT UP!”

As they entered the tower, Grover said “Beware, Elmo has his body guards everywhere.”

“Fantastic,” said Raia. “What do we use against them, numbers 1 through 12?”

“No, Raia,” said Manave as he came through another portal. “12 is too high. 8 is the proper thing.”

“Numbers?” laughed a voice, with almost a European accent.

“What was that?” asked Raia.

“Why does that sound familiar?” said Tara, trying not to panic.

The voice continued. “1…2…3…”

“Oh, no,” said Raia. “Sorry I asked.”

They looked down a dark hall as The Count appeared. Dark Knight leapt behind Raia. “Please, no!” he cried.

“4… 5” said the Count, his eyes glowing an eerie purple.

“NOOOOOO!” screamed Dark Knight. “The scariest character!”

“Five victims! Mua ha ha!” A crash of thunder and lightning sounded.

Raia grabbed Dark Knight and held him for the Count. “Here,” she said. “Our sacrifice.”

“EEEEEEEP!” Dark Knight squirmed, pulled out his trident and lunged at the Count screaming, “DIE SPAWN OF ELMO!”

The Count raised his hand and said “Bats…” Hundreds of beady red eyes appeared on the ceiling. “Take his brain!” The bats began to fly and screech but became disoriented. “Nevermind,” said the Count. “Take Raia’s brain!”

Guy looked at Dark Knight. Tara looked as well and couldn’t help laughing slightly. “What’s so funny?” Dark Knight demanded.

“He’s saying you don’t have a brain, you moron!” said Guy.

“I know,” said Dark Knight, with pride. “And I’m going to use that to my advantage.”

“Uh, hello? A little help would be useful IF IT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE!” Raia called as she ran from the swarm of bats.

Tara waved her arms and paralyzed the bats. The Count, furious, summoned lightning to strike Raia. “Raia…” Guy said as he fell to the ground, struck instead when he leapt in front of her.

Manave walked over and set the evil vampire muppet on fire. He screamed in pain as he exploded into a cloud of dust. “Now, why was that so complicated for you people,” he said. “Don’t you ever watch Dracula movies?”

“I’ve… been… deep… fried,” said Guy before passing out.

Raia raced to his side and placed her hands on his chest. She looked, imploringly, at Tara who nodded and knelt on the other side and did the same. They closed their eyes, Raia chanted a few words and Guy woke up. “Ouch!” he said in a hoarse voice.

Tara gave him a healing crystal. “Rub this between your hands, when it glows it means its working.”

“HAHAHA!” said yet another voice.

“Thank you,” Guy said, feeling much better.

“Shh,” said Raia. “Hold on a minute.”

“That tickles!”

Tara stood. “Oh, no.”

A Giant Tickle Me Elmo crashed through the tower, followed by Kermit. “Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here, reporting at the scene of the fight,” he said into an imaginary camera.

“Just what we need,” said Raia. “An amphibian reporter after us.”

“Oops,” Dark Knight stepped on Kermit.

“It’s… not easy… being…green…” he sang as he died.

Manave sighed. “Can I just level the tower now?”

Dark Knight jumped up. “I can flood the tower!” he said. “I shall be the only survivor, though.”

“I offered an escape,” Manave continued, ignoring Dark Knight. “But noo!”

Elmo watched them argue for a moment and sighed. “God, you’re all losers.” He turned and walked away.

“This coming from a furry, red puppet,” said Raia.

“Hey,” said Dark Knight, with his hands on his hips. “That furry, red puppet is cool.” Tara zapped him. “Don’t be dissin’ Elm… OW!”

“Thanks, Tara,” said Raia.

“No problem,” said Tara.

They look around to see that Elmo hanged himself. “Uh… we win?” said Guy.

“I guess,” said Raia, shrugging.

“Finally!” sighed Tara. “Let’s get out of here.” Raia and Tara chanted a spell and they all returned to the park where they were before.

THE END


Author Notes: I'm sorry if that made absolutely no sense. It's amazing what you'll do when you're bored. If your brain hasn't dribbled out of your ears, I'd appreciate some comments.

That was terribly written. Terrible. But I love it.