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 Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 10:52 am
So I've been dating this guy for about 3 months, minding my own business, and taking things slooooowly. Then he proposes. Yup. And I'm only 16. I don't even love him, I only want to be in love once (I think the word has been butchered so much that it means so little, so I'll only say it to one person in my life.) He's the sweetest guy ever and the last thing I want is to hurt him. I told him kindly that I don't feel the same way and he says that's ok. My problem is that now there's a bit of pressure on me. He's the first real relationship I've ever had and I want to have fun and date lots of people in my life it's just too early to be this serious. I'm not sure how I feel, I'm not sure what I want and I can't talk to anyone I know offline because I hate to "kiss and tell." Since I don't know anyone here I guess it's ok to vent and maybe get some advice, do I stay with him despite the pressure or do I back off and try to get lots of space even though I really really like him? I wish I knew exactly what I want and how I feel.
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 11:01 am
eek dont do it! jeez 3 months and he's proposing! unless he has cancer he shouldnt propose like that! youre only 16!
be nicer to him than that when you say it though sweatdrop
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AmmonSuperCombo Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:10 pm
Even if he does have cancer he shouldn't propose to you like that. If he's not too much older he should probably get the rest of his life on track before he sets your relationship in stone. Most early marriges end in divorce.
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 3:56 pm
I already told him "no" as politely as possible, and he's saying that we wouldn't marry for about 6 years (early marriage is stupid, both of us agree on that) The problem is that he's waay more serious about the relationship than I am and I don't know if I should run away or just pretend that this never happened. This is kind of awkward to put it mildly.
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 10:22 pm
well torch..ive been in his shoes...a quick proposal at an early age....i was 19 she was 17.....she said yes tho........
but broke it off by sleeping with half the county
back to point....there aint no easy way other than rippin his heart out....gotta tell him strait up, under no certian terms...yadda yadda yadda.....otherwise...if you leave him even a small opening...he'll be your puppy dog forever...
do you go to church with him? if so, just tell him that you both know you shoulndt date exclusivly in your teens, but date in groups and with multiple freinds....to paraphase what we all have been taught....
pm me if you wanna talk
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 3:49 am
Ok, so this is one of the times when its best to "kiss and tell". Though, you seem to have made up your mind about it already. You're only three months into the relationship, right? Well, that WAY too early to even consider marriage - especially at your age! Even if you were to wait the six years - I can guarentee that you will drift apart and begin to see things differently and have less and less in common. I think you're right - test the water and remember (though its cliche) there are more fish in the sea.
I hope that helps - and makes a little sense... sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 3:09 pm
Yeah, I talked with him today. I told him that I would "comparison shop" before I made ANY sort of commitment. I asked him not to put me in a position where I'd have to rip his heart out. I told him to date other people so we wouldn't get too serious. He says he'll try to see other girls, but he still says he's going to do whatever it takes to marry me one day. *sigh* At least he can't say I didn't warn him. He's setting himself up for pain in the future, oh well, I'm just going to enjoy the relationship for now and try to forget that he's wants more out of the relationship than I do. Thanks for the advice everyone, I really needed to write this down somewhere so I could get my thoughts straightened out.
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 4:40 pm
I've only read the first post, so if I don't know the whole story.. sorry.
I would break up with this guy... if he's proposing (and not joking) at three months, he either wants to take things really fast (which we all know what the means... hopefuly) or he's just a plain idiot. 3nodding My opinion, sorry....
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 1:41 pm
oogie_boogie888 I've only read the first post, so if I don't know the whole story.. sorry. I would break up with this guy... if he's proposing (and not joking) at three months, he either wants to take things really fast (which we all know what the means... hopefuly) or he's just a plain idiot. 3nodding My opinion, sorry.... No, this is the only problem in our relationship and if I can just get him to slow down then everything will be fine. It's not like it's all he ever talks about. He was just basically warning me that he intends to marry me one day-he's not pressuring for an answer or anything. Things have calmed down a bit now that the initial shock is over, I'm just going to let the subject drop and act like nothing happened.
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Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:27 pm
Me and Seikia have been together for 6 months, and well, yes, we have talked about a possible marriage after I get back from my mission, but I have never asked her for a comittment. I still have about 3ish years until I am 19, and a lot can change in that large amount of time. Don't get me wrong, things could work out and we could get married, but I am honest with myself and acknowledge that as much as I do love her, we likely won't get married.
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Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:17 pm
i can't tell you from experience, but i certainly can tell you cuz my sister's going through almost the exact same thing...... she had been this guy since before she was really allowed to date......for about 2 years. then he just randomly proposes....she's 17, he's 19. they're both broke. she's a member of the church, he's not. and she said yes.......... i was happy for her, but secretly flipped out..........
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 5:20 am
taka_nuva1989 Me and Seikia have been together for 6 months, and well, yes, we have talked about a possible marriage after I get back from my mission, but I have never asked her for a comittment. I still have about 3ish years until I am 19, and a lot can change in that large amount of time. Don't get me wrong, things could work out and we could get married, but I am honest with myself and acknowledge that as much as I do love her, we likely won't get married. there is a chance that you could end up marrying her....thats what happened w/ my mom and dad...they dated, then my dad went on his mission, my mom waited, they got happily married in the temple....now they have 7 kids! eek my parents new each other when they were your age, so i guess it may work out, it may not....
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 5:21 am
yay4bunnys i can't tell you from experience, but i certainly can tell you cuz my sister's going through almost the exact same thing...... she had been this guy since before she was really allowed to date......for about 2 years. then he just randomly proposes....she's 17, he's 19. they're both broke. she's a member of the church, he's not. and she said yes.......... i was happy for her, but secretly flipped out.......... i would flip out to if that happened to ammon or fejj....really flip out....
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 7:11 am
taka_nuva1989 Me and Seikia have been together for 6 months, and well, yes, we have talked about a possible marriage after I get back from my mission, but I have never asked her for a comittment. I still have about 3ish years until I am 19, and a lot can change in that large amount of time. Don't get me wrong, things could work out and we could get married, but I am honest with myself and acknowledge that as much as I do love her, we likely won't get married. That's pretty much how it is here. It's just a little stressful when he likes me more than I like him. The major difference between my situation and yours is that he's certain that I'm the right girl.
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 1:37 pm
Torch24601 taka_nuva1989 Me and Seikia have been together for 6 months, and well, yes, we have talked about a possible marriage after I get back from my mission, but I have never asked her for a comittment. I still have about 3ish years until I am 19, and a lot can change in that large amount of time. Don't get me wrong, things could work out and we could get married, but I am honest with myself and acknowledge that as much as I do love her, we likely won't get married. That's pretty much how it is here. It's just a little stressful when he likes me more than I like him. The major difference between my situation and yours is that he's certain that I'm the right girl. Then you're going to have to reassure him that you might not be.
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