The "I'm so old..." jokes thread!

[pokestarwind]

Since we're all old farts, I thought we ought to have a thread dedicated to jokes. Specifically, "old fart" jokes, like those of the "I'm so old..." or "You know your old when..." etc.

Examples:
I'm so old I remember when folk music was the newest popular phenomenon!
I'm so old that I sold hot dogs at Custer's Last Stand!
You know you're old when you no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.

So, stop in for a laugh, or to share a joke!  

[Sock Thief]

You know your old when you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. (because I stole them!)  

[Sock Thief]

I like this joke, so I thought I would share it.


At 85 years of age, Wally marries Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new, but aged, husband might over exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opened and there is Wally, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Wally. Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling.




When the newlyweds are done , Wally kisses his bride, bids her a f ond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha --- you guessed it --- Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And, once again they enjoy each other.

But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Wally."

Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says, "You mean I was here already?"  

[pokestarwind]

Thank you for sharing that, Sock Thief! It was hilarious!  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You're so old you remembered the years before social security.
You're so old you are one of the pictures on the pyramids.
You know you are old when GOD said let there be light and you said hi to him.  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You know you are old when you go to the museum and the guards keep trying to put you back in display.  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You know you are old when you golfing you use a wooden tree branch stressed bad one I know. I am just having fun now haha. You have found a miserable spot for me hehe. scream gonk  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You know you are old when you got cut down a tree and you find you have more wrinkles then the tree has rings.  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You know you're old when you go to the museum and go to the dinosaur display and you start crying missing your pet brontosaurus.  

[pokestarwind]

YOu know your old when you sit down in a squeaky chair and realize after a moment that it's not your chair squeaking- it's your back!  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You know you're old when you go to sleep only to wake up a few hours later thinking it time to go back to sleep again.  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You know you're old when you hear bone cracking you have to sit down to check if it yours.  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You're so old father of time is your son.  

[pokestarwind]

Your so old you sat next to Jesus in 3rd grade.
Your so old when you were younger the beach was just rocks.
Your so old when you went to file for retirement the man at the desk asked for your social security # and you replied 1.
Your so old you used to date Ben Franklin and the key to his kite was actually for your apartment.  

[TheDragonGuardian]

You're so old that you are the grim reapers friend.