Welcome to Gaia! ::

You have my sympathies man. Depending on when you became single (and how long you and your fiance were together) you might want to wait a month or two before you jump back into the dating world. As much as it sucks to consider it, why not hang out with your buddies again, I'm sure they miss you (you can count Gaia into that mix mrgreen )

A friend of mine used e-harmony and he got married as a result...so you just never know. Like I said before though, I'd let some time pass, and bring your friends back into your life. You'll be ready before you know it.

I tried both E-Harmony and Match.com.

Match.com, I talked to oh.. maybe a dozen or so people in three months and saw one of them a few times. It was nice to have some people to talk to and to have some people interested, even if nothing came of anything. I wouldn't really recommend it for anything long term, but it's a nice way to meet some people in your town you might not usually meet.

I should add, that none of the people I met on Match.com were people I would usually have talked to. I didn't meet any "nerds" on Match.com... they were all.. well.. not nerdy. It was nice to meet different types of people, but in the end it seemed the types of folks I had been looking for were not out in droves on Match.com.

E-Harmony.. didn't match me up with ANYONE! AT ALL. Other people I know have used it and been inundated with tons of people, but I was on it for months and months, and it said there was no soul mate match for me. crying I guess I'm just that unique. 3nodding So I really can't give you my opinion on that.

Overall, I would say online services are okay for meeting people, but don't go into it expecting to find somebody great. It's fun to meet new people but I wouldn't get my hopes up too high if I were you. Remember that those services are pretty much just as big of a crap shoot as saying hello to some person on the street or at a bar.. that is.. not very reliable in general... though I guess E-Harmony has some science behind it...

Sorry to hear about your engagement. sad

Oh! And I thought that Lacerta's advice about waiting a couple of months was very good!

-pulls out the soap box-

Now I will make the disclaimer my advice is not the end all and be all here. But please, please take to heart that I have had an engagement broken, done some online dating, etc. So on some of my rantings/ramblings now I do have some experience.

I might suggest first going to a free dating site. Because a lot of money can be exhausted on top of a lot of high hopes when using a dating site. Sadly, no web site can offer you easy romance or love. These are things that can't be sold in stores- sorry mail order brides.

Heed my warning. A friend bugged me into joining OkCupid so he could have a friend on his list. The quizzes there are fun-- but the people. I did hang out with a few of the guys (mind you, public places, broad daylight, the works). One was my ex Dan. The problem with Dan was the problem with a lot of guys on said sites (probably a lot of the girls too). He was really out for sex, but wanted a relationship, but sex was a big component. Nothing against sex, but after four or so times going out he thought he had waited a "long time" and I wasn't putting out. Unfortunately a lot of the people there were really hung up on sex.

Me, the last thing I wanted to do was have sex with some person I hardly know. On top of going against my beliefs in something more meaningful than casual sex, I also worry that such a practice can increase the dangers of getting an STD, or an awkward pregnancy (if I have children, I want to have some respect for their father).

Sadly, when people go looking for love they start lowering standards. Not to sound snobby or shallow-- but OK Cupid was like a freak show of unwanteds for me. Now granted, I made a pen pal there, and he turned out to be nice and he's now my boyfriend ( sweatdrop ) so there are success stories.

Dating sites are not unlike bargain bins. Many (though not all) are there because they posses some "defect". In the case of my boyfriend many girls pass him over cause he's not handsome. Which is fine with me, his kindness and his wit more than compensate for it. Often times though, there are people on dating sites who may be articulate and well written online-- but in person can have some awkward social skills.

I know this is all horrible for me to write. And there are a few gems on dating sites, David (my guy) was one. But like a bargain bin you have to dig through the repulsive to get to the valuable.

Beware the following:

-People who date JUST to have someone. You will wonder if they like you for you, or just because they want someone

-People who will use you for your money/body/green card/skillet/etc

-CLINGERS

-Abusers

-Boring people. Might see some pretty girls there-- but be warned, some people are so very dreadfully dull it doesn't matter how good looking they are!

-Exes or friends of exes- David kept running into his ex with results saying she was his perfect match.



In closing, if you do, you could post the personal ad I've always wanted to do....


"If you like pina coladas, or getting caught in the rain. If you're not into disco, if you have half a brain..."

I'm sorry to hear about your engagement.


I personally haven't tried any dating sites ((though unbeknown to me my friends once signed me up for like 3 of them using my actual e-mail address so to this day I still get stupid e-mails from Yahoo Personals and such even after I made them take me off of them)), but I'm a bit skeptical of them. You don't really know who or what you could end up meeting. Nothing against them 2 of my friends met their husbands on such sites, but they are just not for me.

And I have to agree with the others in saying that you really should wait a little bit before jumping back in to the dating world. Not just because there can be a slim chance of her coming back, but for your own sake. Rebounds are not a great thing. Besides going out and hanging with your own friends is a great way to meet new people in the first place.

Though I will be honest and say that I'm really not the right person to be even talking to about such things. I've been single for going on 3 years now. sweatdrop

You have my sympathies. I hope things improve for you in the future.

The new age of technology what else is there to do, I suppose you got nothing to lose that way except money ofcourse sweatdrop (when really it's more money to spend if you see the dates in real life sweatdrop stressed xd xp ---I apologize my sarcasm is coming out) ... go for it if you don't like to go out and meet people; but I will give you a hint though if at this moment it's still the mourning process because of what happen with you and your fiance don't be on a rush to just jump and go to the next cattle... just date while your mourning; and if you are finally finish mourning and you found the right one from all that dating scene... and finally make it official with that someone... then do it that way; ya know, the right way. Oh and I apologize with your misfortune, here's a fave qoute I tell my friends, "Love. Love with all your heart, but observe, for the mystery a path leads takes risk... a risk that only the brave ones takes."