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 Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:28 pm
I don't have depression that I know of but I didn't know were else to put this. I was trying to be a happy positive confident person but it's just not working for me. The last few days have been really crappy for me.
Every time I participate in class, I say something stupid and look like a moron. I feel so stupid when other people are saying intelligent things to add to discussions and I go blank. When I do think of good things to say somebody else beats me to it. I did poorly on a Spanish quiz. I'm signed up for tutoring but it won't work. I took tutoring my first semester of Spanish and I made a C. My GPA last year turned out to be a 2.6, far away from the 3.4 I'm aiming for. I study for classes but I always make stupid mistakes, make low grades and my confidence is ruined.
I just found out the guy I kind of have a crush on has a new born baby. I wasn't even going to try to make a move on him because it would never work but I can't help but be a little disappointed. Maybe because nobody will ever love me. I think I look okay but I still fade into the background. I have issues with approaching people I don't know because I always think they don't like me. Even on facebook, I'm rarely "in the loop."
The only person I can talk to is my twin sister but I don't want to burden her with my issues, and she's negative enough without my help. Sure, I'm feeling all confident and self assured one day but then real life hits and I'm feeling bad. I don't want to take drugs for this. The thought of being externally dependent on something isn't something I want to do. I don't know how to be a happy person am I not trying hard enough or am I just going to have to live with it?!
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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 10:22 pm
Being a happy positive confident person is your goal, not being a super positive smart confident person, dont try to hard. Its like me with bowling, i think about how i look when i go up there, if im holding the ball right, what the score is, are people looking/laughing/or disgusting with my bowling? Then i suck..And then i stop thinking about how i look when i go up there, i dont care how people think of me, i honestly could care less if im doing anything right=then i bowl a decent game.
Try less to be perfect, for one is totally impossible to be 100% perfect. Second, you dont need to be perfect to get happiness, trying your best (But not trying sooo very hard) is always good.
Guy problem: As you have heard plenty of times before, its not what you look on the outside that matters, but how you feel/act on the inside. And im afraid that it does matter, and you'll have to listen to that constant remainder of this till you get it. Maybe you are beautiful, you just dont realize it.
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 6:26 pm
life is tough, and I totally hear you
I can understand why you mention drugs, because on the television, everyone takes one hit of marijuana and gets all numb and happy.
Actually, you might be thinking of meds, huh.
Those numb you and may make you feel stupider, and meds really aren't the way to go unless you mentally unstable (even though docs like to perscribe them rather than help solve problems, it brings money in to them).
I know how it is to think your pretty, but then suddenly change your mind once your in front of people you hope think your pretty.
I'm just guessing thats how you feel, but, I dunno. Are you and your sister identical? (I have a twin toooo, but hes a guy, and I can't talk to him about my "girly" problems D smile
You can get her to help you feel prettier, or find a friend who dresses well and stuff and get her to help you. I know that helped me a little.
I have to wonder how old you are, since I know that when I was a little younger, I wasn't too good at fitting in with people I wanted to fit in with, and I'd freak out about grades and my looks, but I mostly got over that pretty quickly.
Remember, school isn't everything (which people make so easy to forget), and the school systems are soo ******** up that I don't find it worth it trying to get good grades. I know I'm intelligent as I need to be, so ******** what the school thinks of me.
I'm sorry you don't really have a chance with the guy you like.
I just got a total blow to my crush ego too.. <33
Maybe your hormones make your moods change drastically, because that used to happen to me too, despite a regular menstrual cycle.
I'm still trying to learn to deal with my ups and downs, I guess it takes patience and a strong mind to keep me going sometimes.
Just try to remember your ups when your feeling really crappy. It might work.
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Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:37 pm
If it's not a permanent thing, like you're not depressed for days or weeks on end (continuously), maybe you can look into other alternatives. Medication, in my humble opinion, should be a last resort thing. I believe I was clinically depressed for about 6 months, and was borderline ready to go ask for meds because I started having suicidal thoughts and stuff like that, but that was something that didn't go away for a long time. Had I just had a few bad days or been depressed for a little while, I wouldn't have gone on meds for that. But then again that's just me.
I'd seriously consider looking into some sort of counselling or therapy if I were you. Even if it's just to have someone to talk to, or someone to help you find other ways to cope with bad days and tough situations besides going on medications.
And as people will tell you, as you get older, fitting in becomes less important. High school won't be your entire life, you will have friends, and popularity isn't everything, even online. If you can find a group of close friends whom you can trust and talk to, start with that.
As for your GPA, just take it one class, one semester at a time. I have a 2.7 because I got a C in college a couple of years ago, and I get mainly grades in the B range. I'm not a genius, but I know I'm smart enough. I don't set unrealistic goals or expectations because then I only get let down if I don't make them.
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:57 pm
vineco Being a happy positive confident person is your goal, not being a super positive smart confident person, dont try to hard. Its like me with bowling, i think about how i look when i go up there, if im holding the ball right, what the score is, are people looking/laughing/or disgusting with my bowling? Then i suck..And then i stop thinking about how i look when i go up there, i dont care how people think of me, i honestly could care less if im doing anything right=then i bowl a decent game.
Try less to be perfect, for one is totally impossible to be 100% perfect. Second, you dont need to be perfect to get happiness, trying your best (But not trying sooo very hard) is always good.
Guy problem: As you have heard plenty of times before, its not what you look on the outside that matters, but how you feel/act on the inside. And im afraid that it does matter, and you'll have to listen to that constant remainder of this till you get it. Maybe you are beautiful, you just dont realize it. I don't feel like my best is ever god enough. I struggled with that for years but I realize I am pretty but I have my off days were I wish the kind of pretty people could agree on. Like sometimes I look at my Alicia Keyes CD and I get so down because she is so beautiful and you would have to be crazy to say she's not. Nobody EVER compliments me for anything. If I were all that wouldn't somebody say something?
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:44 pm
HonestlyDisturbed life is tough, and I totally hear you
I can understand why you mention drugs, because on the television, everyone takes one hit of marijuana and gets all numb and happy.
Actually, you might be thinking of meds, huh.
Those numb you and may make you feel stupider, and meds really aren't the way to go unless you mentally unstable (even though docs like to perscribe them rather than help solve problems, it brings money in to them). I don't want mediacation. The last time I went to the doctor for a simple problem (acne) I broke out in hives. xp Quote: I know how it is to think your pretty, but then suddenly change your mind once your in front of people you hope think your pretty. I'm just guessing thats how you feel, but, I dunno. Are you and your sister identical? (I have a twin toooo, but hes a guy, and I can't talk to him about my "girly" problems D smile You can get her to help you feel prettier, or find a friend who dresses well and stuff and get her to help you. I know that helped me a little. My sister is really negative and has an "oh forget it, it's no use" type of personality, hence the reason I don't like talking to her about things like this. Quote: I have to wonder how old you are, since I know that when I was a little younger, I wasn't too good at fitting in with people I wanted to fit in with, and I'd freak out about grades and my looks, but I mostly got over that pretty quickly. Remember, school isn't everything (which people make so easy to forget), and the school systems are soo ******** up that I don't find it worth it trying to get good grades. I know I'm intelligent as I need to be, so ******** what the school thinks of me. I'm sorry you don't really have a chance with the guy you like. I just got a total blow to my crush ego too.. <33 Maybe your hormones make your moods change drastically, because that used to happen to me too, despite a regular menstrual cycle. I'm still trying to learn to deal with my ups and downs, I guess it takes patience and a strong mind to keep me going sometimes. Just try to remember your ups when your feeling really crappy. It might work. I'm 18 and in college. I thought I would be over all this being as old as I am. To a certain extent, I was pretty good with socializing with people when I was in high school because I had known everybody most of my life but now that I have to meet new people and make new friends I have to push myself to get out of my comfort zone. I want to go to graduate school so it's really important that I keep my grades up. @ Nikolita:Like I mentioned before, I'm out of High school. I'm in a student organization but we haven't met alot so far. I like to have people in my classes I can talk to just in case I need notes or something. But most of them don't seem to want to talk to me. When I work up the nerve to initiate conversation, they don't do their part to keep it going.
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