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security officer1's work

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security officer1

PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 4:20 pm


First story (i will make 1 pargraph every half day and when saturday comes i finish the rest of the paragraphs to finish a chapter)



Chapter 1:

It was a dark and stormy night. I just went to bed with...well you know the sound of thunder. If you ask me though the thunder sounded more like gun shots by the minute. I look up and nobody was outside or anywhere. I look at my doorway wondering if one of my kids were in the hallway like usual during thunderstorms but they were not there. I get up to search to see if they were in there rooms but all i saw was blood everywhere...the floors, walls and everything was covered. I look back into the hall and i read "Watch out detective you will be next!!!" I look all around and see noone. At 11:00pm i walked out the door and took off in my car to the police station to report what happened. "my kids have been either kidnapped or killed"i say frantically"I saw blood all over the place in their rooms and they were missing"

(to be continued)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2007 11:10 pm


It's good so far but be more descriptive and the last few lines he didn't seem very scared or frightened.

Oyayubihime

Aged Shapeshifter

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Drawings, Writings, and Poems

 
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