Here's a few songs I wrote... please comment!! And don't hold back! i can take criticism! 3nodding

Bood Red

You made me feel so out of place
I fell so far, I have no grace
When I ask myself what I need
I say nothing, and then it's agreed

Chorus::
You made me feel alive, oh
But alive is dead, when you're this ******** up in the head
You made me feel alive, oh
You killed me, I'm covered in blood red::

My eyes are searching for you
My arms are outstretched, reaching for you
I can feel you, you are close
Close enough to hear your breath

I begin to think I'm going insane
I grab my gun and think it over
Inside my heart I know it's over
Good-bye to you, my world, my pain

::chorus::

People think I've lost my mind
But the truth is I've been hypnotized

You don't understand how much I need you
And you've dismissed me as being untrue

I don't know what I've become
All I want want now is my freedom

::chorus:: x2

(echo: blood-red)
~end~


Heart of Black

(quiet)
after chaining reality
i thought that i had captured it for good this time
but when i turned to look at it
it had escaped beyond my reach again

(music starts)

why did you have to leave me behind
leave me to suffer
leave me for happiness more
how could i have been so blind?
can't we cozy up again?
i'm sure there's room for another
and why do you call me unhappy?
in my dreams i hear you whisper
about how things used to be
"i'll be with you forever more"
the words i hope to hear you say
but all i hear is
"do not come to me, where you are you're meant to stay."
let them lower me down to you
let them take me
to this lovely place you call home
all red inside and six feet under
you are so cruel to make me stay
to leave me crying all alone
but no, i'm not mourning
and you will not see me grieve
i'm coming to set you free
coming to see the one i love
coming to stay for all eternity
all i ask is for our love
our precious love in life
to see us through when we grow dark and cold
it is but a dream, death is
memory fades to dust
and dust fades to nothing
but the flowers begin to bloom
so this is it?
this is the never ending happiness of forever sleep?
no, this is love
~end~

I'll post some more once people read the ones i've already posted.