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 Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 5:37 pm
There wasn't a word for what Sen was feeling. There were a lot of words that made it up, though; anger, betrayal. Yes, Sen did feel betrayed by Ai. A part of her realized this was ridiculous. Her sibling had done nothing wrong, after all.
Sadly, it was a small part. Far smaller than the one that had it feeling like a physical form of rage was literally boiling in her bloodstream. She couldn't take this anymore! This family was a disgrace! The larger they got, the worse it was getting. She was convinced of it.
"Yue?" So far, his regular places ('emoing spots', Sen had called them once) didn't have her brother, and this was the last one she could possibly think of. "Yue?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 5:47 pm
Yue was in one of his fewer visited splots, curled up behind a rock. It was obviously that he had used it enough time before, though, for bits of golden fur were settled into the earth and grass. He was having more of these 'emo' moments, where he didn't know what was going on anymore. He hated feelings this way. Where did the days go where he felt so pleased with himself, with everyone? They were lost, at least for now, and he didn't know how to get them back.
Hearing his name, he stirred and listed his head out from his paws, peeking around. He had an idea as to who called him, the voice sounded familiar, but he wasn't certain. "Huh?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 5:53 pm
Sen had to bite her own tounge to keep from snapping at him. How did he not know her voice by now? She wasn't really angry at him. Not this time. Recently, she'd been working on directing her anger where it belonged, but she could never be mean to Ai. So, hopefully, the bad feelings would just go away.
"It's me," she announced, coming to stand in front of him. Her tail flicked behind her, something she did when she was impatient or aggravated, mostly. "What's wrong now?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 5:58 pm
Ohgod. It was Sen! He quickly pushed himself up to a sitting position, not caring how foolish it looked. When he heard her tone, though, he slumped back over, quite pouty.
"Nuthin'," he said at first, sniffing before continuing. "Just nothing to do. And I don't think anyone really wants to bug me, anyway." He didn't really know what he said, but it felt more like the truth then anything. While he hadn't been ignored, he had taken more notice in others skipping over him to play with others. Was that always there, or was he just not noticing it?
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:09 pm
Sen wasn't surprised. All good things fade in time. The eyes that held those sparkle-eyed stares for Yue before had probably seen enough of his gold now. She idly wondered if anyone knew him for anything other than that.
"Yue, do you like it here?" she asked bluntly.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:15 pm
Yue was startled by her question. He stalled, looking around foolishly, trying to hope that the question wasn't really asked....but he couldn't just ignore her. "Not really," he admitted, sheepishly looking at the ground where his paws stood. "I've been thinking a lot since we last talked, Sen..."
He didn't know what else to add, so he let his sentance hang in the air, hoping that she would pick it up. His tail tightened around his side, nervous as to what her next comment or question would be, but wanting to know what it was, too.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:25 pm
Maybe he wasn't all that stupid after all. Or maybe he never was stupid to begin with, Sen reasoned. Maybe it was more a matter of being...blinded. Truthfully, she still partially blamed his situation on him. He had eaten up that glory just his color had brought before.
"I've been thinking, too." Admittedly (in her mind, she wasn't about to say it out loud), even if some of it was his fault, Sen had come to feel bad for her brother. If it was her, wouldn't she have acted the same way?
No... There wasn't a question. She would have.
"Yue, has anyone here ever actually been nice to you?" his sister went on. "I know about your coat, yeah, but have they ever complimented you on anything else? Ever 'Yue, you're really nice' or anything like that? I know we've had fights, a lot of them, but before... I meant what I said before. I don't think they really love you."
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:29 pm
They? He hoped that they didn't mean their family. Their parents. They had to love him, right? Her, too! They were their parents! Worries and questions flooded his mind, trying to guess at what Sen was going to say before she said it. He hoped it would lessen to bloe to what she meant.
"I....well, sometimes." He didn't want to admit that it was because he gave someone something, or he helped out when asked. Those were obligitory thank yous and compliments, and not things that were just offered to him. He was scared as to what Sen might say if she knew. He sure did take in her words a lot more now, though, then when they were cubs.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:40 pm
Sen was not a mind reader, but she was expressive, and her faced showed everything but belief. It didn't look like she even recognized those obligatory 'thank yous' that he was thinking of. Besides, they wouldn't have counted anyway, had she known of them.
"They don't, really," Sen pressed. She was becoming increasingly good at sounding more convincing. That may have been why Yue listened to her more now, among other things. "We're just things to gawk at here, Yue."
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:51 pm
"What do you mean?" He started, a bit defensive. He didn't get what she meant by it, especially since they really weren't the same. In some aspect they were, though, so his guard soon slipped off of him.
"I'm not something to gawk at..." His coat was something that he himself started to hate, as if the hate that Sen used to hold for him specifically about his coat was now rooted deep within him. He wished he could cast it off and be seen as what he was, and not what he looked like.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:57 pm
Sen shook her head. "I don't mean just you, and not even because of your color. I mean, we're--you, me, the other two--something for them to look at. But Ai has cubs now, did you know that? How much longer before they start completely ignoring us, do you think?"
At this point, she was staring at the sky, eyes holding an intent and thoughtful gleam. "We're not little and cute anymore, Yue. They never talk to us anymore. Do you really want to always live this way?"
Then, Sen got up, only to sit back down again, directly next to her brother. "Even if we fight, we care about each other, don't we, Yue? We're the only ones who really ever noticed each other, aren't we? Come with me."
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:05 pm
Yue didn't move when his sister settled next to him, instead he let himself fall deep into thought. No one? Would no one really pay much attention to them anymore? If Ai had children....then who else would? Wouldn't everyone be having their own cubs now? Then it would be the truth, since Yue and Sen were not cubs anymore, and it seemed like all the adults only cared about the new cubs, and not the 'old' ones.
"Go where?" he asked, his voice loosing it's playful tone. It was serious, curious, and truthful. He did want to know what she meant, and he hoped she wouldn't beat around the bush, either.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:10 pm
"I don't know." And if that didn't prove Sen had full attention of being completely straight forward with him, nothing would. "I have a friend who said we could follow her. She goes everywhere." Not in those words, and there had been some 'ughs' and what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this like groans, but she'd agreed in the end.
"We'd be explorers! Wanderers! Wouldn't you like that? Haven't you ever wanted to be one of the rogues that walk around here sometimes? They're not bound by anything! Especially not a pride that doesn't care about them. And, maybe, we can find a good home, like No."
Sen knew very, very little about No, because there was little mention of her (which furthered the belief they only cared about cubs). Mostly just that she had left, and she could only assume she'd found somewhere better.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:27 pm
Yue's ears perked up at the mention of really leaving. As in, bye bye Pridelands! A piece of him was quite scared with how that would go, but it was shot down by the rest of him excited to get out of this hell hole. And if he wasn't alone, all the better!
"A friend?" He wasn't sure who this 'friend' was, but if Sen could trust this Mwokoti, he could too. He hoped she'd introduce this friend to him before they left though....unless they were leaving this same day. Nerves returned, but he fought them back. "Alright." His voice was a bit quiet, but he kept himself calm. So much stuff was happening so quick, again! And he felt like leaving was the best thing to do....right?
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:43 pm
Right!
Sen didn't completely trust him not to be a sissy and back out, even if it was the 'right' thing for them to do. The sooner she could get Mwokoti the better. She knew where she had been, but a Goddess like her moved around a lot, and if she had left now, Sen wouldn't be surprised.
"Follow me!" she said, nudging him meaningfully before dashing off.
Please still be there!
Mwokoti wouldn't have waited for them, her domain wouldn't allow it. But luck did let them reach her before she had to take off anywhere. She was near the watering hole, staring in the opposite direction.
"Mwokoti!" Sen called loudly, and she looked at them.
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