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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:45 am
Kyndall was fretting in her sleep, curled up beside her husband. The moans she was making were easy to distinguish from the usual sort that came with being in this bed with her present company. Clearly she was distressed. And began moving in her sleep, restless and unaware of her predicament. In her mind everything was real and she was in it, there. Her hands twitched, flailing a little as she turned.
“Talfrid.”
She whimpered it, just once, and then woke with a start, her eyes flying open to see darkness around her. Her chest was heaving, drawing in breath like she couldn’t get enough air. She was unaware she’d spoken a word and wasn’t really aware of who or where she was, either. Almost everything was up in the air, and she struggled to know the most basic of things. This she eventually did, recognizing first the room and then the photograph by her bedside of Tony and herself on their wedding day.
This was hardly a usual occurrence but as she tried to remember what she’d been dreaming to drive her to this it faded away, running from her grasping hands and leaving only a vague idea that she’d dreamt it before and would probably dream it again. She just didn’t know what it was. Being a rational woman she wasn’t sure she believed in dejavu or dreaming true things. She wasn’t inclined to believe in psychics and the like, either, but logic didn’t explain the magic in her life and she was trying to reconcile to that, still, after all this time.
Kyn closed her eyes and tried to master her breathing. If Tony was awake she wasn’t immediately aware of it. Maybe it was hormones, she told herself, or the stress of a new baby on the way. Maybe it was the movie she’d watched before bed crossing over into her dreams to make her think such things. God knew her body wasn’t exactly the most familiar of things right now and the switch in chemicals and hormones could make her do and feel wacky stuff. Just that, she sighed, and nothing more.
“I’m sorry. It was just another dream. I can’t remember this one, though. But there are others. Tony, I’ve been dreaming about you almost exclusively. Sort of. I mean, I don't know what I mean.”
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:19 pm
Tony woke feeling blurry and like he had only slept for half an hour. The late, and constant, hours at the library through finals had altered his sleep patterns even more than they already had been with late night patrolling. He had gotten used to that, but these new shifts had thrown him for an even bigger loop.
He needed to figure out a way to just stop sleeping all together. And not die from it.
His sleepiness washed away as he looked at Kyndall and noticed how upset she seemed. A nightmare, he surmised, though she was explaining before he could even ask what was wrong. He listened quietly, then shifted to look at her and smoothed a hand through her hair.
"Are you alright?" He knew she couldn't remember the dream, but he didn't like that something was waking her up in such a state, and he sometimes heard her mumbling in her sleep. He didn't have far to leap to think that it might be related to their field of work, rather than anything else. Sometimes, after visiting Camelot, he had vivid dreams of the memories he had unlocked there.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:29 am
It had been a while since she'd been to her wonder but that was sort of how her memories seemed to work. They trickled into her dreams over time and some were easier to hang onto than others. She saw herself, or someone that looked remarkably like her and not at the same time. She wished she could remember what this one was about, what had her shaken.
"I keep dreaming of myself, and not myself. But the one constant thing seems to be that you're always there."
It was true. No matter the dream he was always there with her. When she found the gold medal she'd won in times past as some Olympic trial for knights it was he on the sidelines cheering her on. He was the one she was eager to show it to. It was like the past had followed her through to the present and somehow, he was always there.
If there was any doubt they'd been made for each other these dreams laid it to rest.
"You're there, Tony. I see you holding me, or smiling at me. I see you so handsome in your armor and even though I know it's not you, or this you, I know it's still you."
Which was rather confusing all told. And she didn't know why but she just sometimes got this forbidding feeling when she thought about it.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:58 pm
"It must be your past life," he said, sitting next to her and rubbing his eyes a bit to help wake him up. He had been on the road to deep sleep, though he hadn't quite reached it. That just made him feel groggier and even more discombobulated.
But what she was saying did well to clear his mind, because he wanted to listen, and he wanted to talk about it. His experience with memories of his past was so far limited. He had only seen fleeting glimpses, nothing telling, and nothing he could really hold on to in vivid detail. He tried to visit Camelot, but usually only for short periods of time. Maybe he needed to stay there longer?
"It seems we are following in our previous incarnation's footsteps. I'm not sure, I haven't been able to... I mean, I haven't had those memories yet. But the fact that you can remember them, dream about them, is fascinating. Are they good dreams?" He did look concerned, as he wouldn't be excited for memories if they were causing her nightmares.
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 12:53 pm
"At least my crushes stay consistent."
It was a feeble joke at best but one that made her feel better. She realized it often and knew now that her soul knit to his and not just because her dreams and past life told her so. He was her other half in a very palpable way. She leaned her head on his shoulder and mulled over her thoughts. The idea of having a past life, a self that was not a self, was disconcerting.
There were only vague impressions she got to hold on to, moments here and there that were fuzzy like a reflection in rippling water. She hugged herself and tried to grasp the latest dreams without much success. All she saw was a glimpse of things, a flash of his hair or his smile, a whispered word in a voice that made her insides tremble. The call of her name stuck with her, though, something she did not recognize.
"Fiona." she whispered softly. "You called me Fiona."
As for whether they were good dreams or not she didn't know and shrugged offering him a smile. She always woke heart racing with little idea of why. It was the only clear thing that told her it was not her life she was remembering but someone else's, someone probably a lot different.
"I wish I could remember something completely, though. The only clear image I have is of me at these...these games. Sports. Except not like football but, you know, sports you'd see back in the old days: Olympic sports. I have a gold medal in my hands and I'm showing it to you on the sidelines and you're...you're smiling at me."
But that was all. No names or other faces but his. Nothing to put it into context. Had she won or had he? And won for what? What was her previous self good at and, perhaps, did they share the hobby?
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 1:15 pm
Tony looked thoughtful. He had never had a memory like that, but then, his experience was limited in that regard. He needed to go back to Camelot more, and see if he couldn't find himself there. It was interesting to know that she was remembering him, though, with her. It made him smile and he caressed her cheek gently.
"A champion of some sort, hm? That seems about right, for you."
And watching from the stands seemed about right for him, too.
He had no idea who he had been, the things he had done. He might have not been as happy to be remembered, really, if he did have a better idea about the horrors he had inflicted and the purpose he had been raised for.
"Fiona is a beautiful name," he said, his chest tightening a bit as he said it. It felt right. So theirs had been a meeting of destiny, it seemed at least that they had known one another in their past lives. Loved one another, maybe. He wasn't surprised. What he felt for her could hardly be justified by just one life with her.
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2013 10:56 am
"I'm no one's champion, Tony. Let's not kid ourselves. I bowed out of the fight. I couldn't handle it."
There was always going to be a certain amount of guilt she carried for the decisions she made about retiring as a knight and turning her back on the fight. He'd been right when he said that just because she stopped fighting didn't mean she'd forget what happened out there. She remembered and shuddered for it but not enough to dare powering up again. It made her feel almost too inclusive, xenophobic. She didn't want to let anyone out of the house anymore, even during the day.
But that was simply irrational and she stopped herself from tumbling over that particular edge.
"I'm a disgrace." She said at last, softly. "If this Fiona saw me how could she be proud? She was a champion, and loved, probably everything I am not. Oh, Tony, I don't know what I feel anymore!"
She buried herself against him, turning in their bed to do so. He was the only constant in any life she had, so far as she could tell. The love of this man was what held her together and kept her from self destruction in moments when her better sense was overwhelmed by crushing emotion.
"You're the only one I've ever loved. She must have loved you, too." Kyn gripped his shirt, tears staining her cheeks. "Talfrid. Tal..." That felt familiar and foreign at once.
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:27 pm
Tony watched her and shook his head, letting her cry as she wanted to. He knew that her emotions would be a little unstable, but he also knew that she felt very strongly and likely would be upset about all this regardless of her state of pregnancy.
He cuddled her and kissed the top of her head., She was small enough against him that she fit against his body perfectly. Or maybe he was just that used to holding her now.
She fit in his arms and belonged there.
"Darling, who you were and who you are are not mutually exclusive. Your spirit is the same, though you apply your passions in different ways. You might not see it in yourself, but you are still every bit a champion. Do as you believe, and I'll support you, protect you, and give you all of my love. Isn't that all anyone can ask for, in the end?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:24 am
"You're right. Of course, you're right."
She still didn't feel like a champion, just as he didn't feel like a hero most nights, but she believed in it because it came from him just as the reverse was true. They held onto the truest and fondest things in each other. It was times like this Kyn believed that could have a lasting and successful marriage even with trials and tribulations. They really listened to one another.
"It's nice to think I'm someone's champion, anyway, but I guess motherhood isn't done with me quite yet."
She pressed a hand to her belly and imagined the life growing there, silently sending it all of her love and good intentions. He'd given her that gift and she returned it to him. She dried her tears and tried to be the strong and brave woman he knew when they first met. Hormones really were a b***h sometimes. Kyn settled back down onto the bed in his arms.
"Will you hold me for a while until I go back to sleep?"
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:42 am
Tony smiled and nodded, scooting to her and holding her close. He closed his eyes and cuddled her to him, lovingly, protectively. She was his, his wife and his love, and he wanted nothing more than to make her feel that way.
"I can hold you, yes, my dear."
He kissed her sweetly on the shoulder and sighed as he held her to him and settled down for the night. Whenever she needed him, he would be there for her. It was that simple for him, not matter how complicated things got. All he had to do was make that one fact remain constantly true.
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