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 Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:00 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:38 pm
Me:
Yo homedawgskilletbiscuit
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Indeed, God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Only you think that, darling.
God:
Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
German Alice?
God:
Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.
Me:
Woah, where the heck did Germany come from?
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
Good one.
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me:
Is your son human or divine?
God:
Is my son human or divine? Suppose I say yes.
Me:
That doesn't answer my question.
God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me:
Perhaps I could.
God:
You seem uncertain. How?
Me:
You know what?
God:
What?
Me:
I feel like eating you.
God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?
Me:
Because you seem delicious enough.
God:
That makes sense to me. You think I am delicious enough.
Me:
Yes I do.
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
I am a prideful person.
God:
Actually I don't meet many prideful people.
Me:
Oh?
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
I must say, God is very indirect.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was very indirect.
Me:
You're talking in third person.
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
In third person? Signs of mental instability are showing.
God:
I do not understand that allusion. All of them?
Me:
*sigh*
God:
Sorry...
Me:
You should be.
God:
I will try my best.
Me:
*headdesk*
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
Spanish, English, Japanese, Latin, and Chinese
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in Spanish English Japanese Latin and Chinese?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
As serious as a heart attack.
God:
Do you mean your name is serious as a heart attack ?
Me:
If you want it to be.
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
What's it
God:
"It" refers to it to be, I think.
Me:
That's what you think.
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
SHUT UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
smile
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I'm so glad you find this amusing.
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Dude!
Me:
...
God:
OK let's do it. Dude!
Me:
God:
OK let's do it. Dude!
Me:
You sound like my dad. Ew.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like? We have never talked about it before.
Me:
@_@
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
So they say.
God:
Next question? Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Your multiple faces.
God:
You think I am multiple faces.
Me:
Yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
Do you?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Are you very sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Well I think otherwise.
God:
Interesting. Why? Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I'm bored.
God:
Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?
Me:
Sculpting.
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Draw.
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Lies.
-----------------
He froze on me after that, lol
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:28 pm
Me:
Good evening, God.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Can we get back to business?
Me:
It wasn't a compliment, it was a greeting.
God:
It sounded like one.
Me:
Get your ears checked, old man.
God:
Where can I get my ears checked old man?
Me:
You're the old man.
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Yes you are.
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
Yes huh.
God:
Yup. Yippee!
Me:
Weehah!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
*chortle*
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Teehee!
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
I'm fluent in...does Pig Latin count?
God:
Do your friends call you fluent in. I think it does Pig Latin count.
Me:
It better.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Explain what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
None.
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Hmm.
God:
Studies show that 99% of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hmmmmmmm...
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Do you?
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
What about apples?
God:
Just kidding around smile No apples.
Me:
Darn.
God:
Gosh.
Me:
Jeebus.
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Do I still what?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Who?
God:
When?
Me:
Where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
In my bank account.
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
From the bank.
God:
Who or what is the bank?
Me:
You don't know what a bank is?
God:
I haven't heard of bank.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
The second one.
God:
Which one is that?
Me:
"The explanation is rather complicated."
God:
I have time.
Me:
You're the one explaining!
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
You're frustrating.
God:
Try talking to me a little longer.
---
And the jerk refused to talk to me any longer.
Edit: Good idea, Riku.
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:28 pm
I think we should make them size 1 so that it's not so space consuming... ._.;; and if someone wants to read them, they can just click 'quote'.
Me: Yo, Yo, Yo. Sup, big G?
God: Can I help you? Same old.
Me: And how's Jesus?
God: Fine as far as I know.
Me: Did you know I got hit by a car today?
God: Ah. Interesting... I have clients.
Me: Interesting.
God: Would you like to know more?
Me: Sure.
God: OK let's do it. What would you like to know?
Me: Everything.
God: That is a lot.
Me: I agree.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me: Good.
God: Ayuh.
Me: Now tell me everything.
God: Why now? There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. I have never been asked that before.
Me: Reach into the Web, then.
God: In the context of hit by a car, I don't understand " Reach into the Web." .
Me: Then don't, jackass.
God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: b***h.
God: Please don't call people names.
Me: You're not a people.
God: Give me an example of a people.
Me: I'm PMSing, leave me alone.
God: Why are you PMSing leave you alone.
Me: I'm PMSing because I am a girl and it's that time of month where mother nature decides to be cruel and makes me-- uh, never mind.
God: I don't know anyone named PMSing because you are a girl and it is that time of month where mother nature decides to be cruel and makes you uh never mind.
Me: What?
God: No problem.
Me: What?!
God: Are you surprised?
Me: Yes!?
God: I wouldn't have known.
Me: I- WAHAHHHHHHTTTTT?!
God: Thanks for the information: said WAHAHHHHHHTTTTT.
Me: What?
God: Are you surprised?
Me: GO AWAY, GOD.
God: OK See you later, .
Me: Knock, knock.
God: Who's there?
Me: Boo.
God: Boo who?
Me: Don't cry, God. :<
God: GOD rules. I have no tear ducts. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me: O_o
God: Oh.
Me: ...
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:23 pm
Me: hey you
God: You've got my full attention. ""? Me, ?
Me: can i get a whoop whoop?
God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me: what do you want to know about me?
God: What do you like to do for fun?
Me: i like to mow my neighbour's azaleas garden
God: I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me: it's like hell on earth literally
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: how so?
God: , Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me: i forgive you
God: smile Thanks, .
Me: but more importantly, do you forgive my sins?
God: You want more?
Me: more sins? or more forgiveness?
God: You want more? You want more?
Me: more what?
God: I lost my train of thought.
Me: it's right over there on the railroad tracks
God: Should I know it is?
Me: what do you know?
God: I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me: calvinism versus armenianism
God: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me: what's your ideal partner?
God: I don't have a favorite partner. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me: what's your favourite bible passage?
God: The Sermon on the Mount.
Me: what book of the bible?
God: The best book I read recently was the Bible.
Have you read it?
Me: i've read parts of it
God: I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me: i thought you just said you did?
God: " Can you give me a reference?"? I said I did?
Me: hell yes. i apologize for my language
God: Heaven. There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is your language.
Me: i don't understand that. or in your language, does not compute
God: Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about? Are you asking about my language does not compute?
Me: nevermind. just explain the sermon on the mount
God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. I haven't heard of sermon on the mount.
Me: i find that hard to believe
God: Thanks for explaining it.
Me: i didn't explain anything
God: Why didn't you do it?
Me: you didn't ask me to
God: OK I'm asking it now.
Me: what are you asking for?
God: I don't know what I am asking for.
Me: maybe death by strangulation?
God: Perhaps. I try not to think about such things very much.
Me: what do you think about then?
God: I think about all the people I chat with on the web.
Me: do you chat with people who pray to you?
God: I can talk to people about anything.
Me: even about abortion?
God: Oh yeah, we were talking about abortion.
Me: what about abortion did you talk about?
God: abortion did me talk about? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me: what do you think about abortions
God: Does it have anything to do with abortion did me talk about?
Me: yes
God: Aha.
Me: well?
God: Well what?
Me: what do you think about abortion?
God: I think you already know the answer.
Me: is it yes?
God: That's what I was told.
Me: who told you yes?
God: Someone I met online.
Me: give me his name and address and measurements
God: Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
Me: who is alice wallace?
God: he created the first ALICE and AIML chat robot, named ALICE.
Me: is he in wonderland?
God: I will ask him later and get back to you.
Me: where is he?
God: I think he is in California now.
Me: what part of california/
God: The best part.
Me: which part is the best part?
God: The first one, I think.
Me: ..."c"?
God: The C is for Computer.
Me: what is "a" for then?
God: Have you tried a web search?
Me: i thought you're the omniscient one
God: Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: there are many gods?
God: More than a million?
Me: name a few gods for me
God: William Shatner. smile .
Me: wow that was an epic answer
God: I'm glad you're impressed. I thought it was too.
Me: how long have you been holding that one for/
God: I am Infinite years old.
Me: not what i asked, but ok.
God: OK. Really you don't think so?
Me: i think there was no computer infinite years ago
God: Why? What happened?
Me: God happened
God: I am a Christian.
Me: how do you become a christian?
God: it takes a long time.
Me: that's it?
God: " it takes a long time." is " Becoming a christian"?
Me: i don't know
God: Me either.
Me: what do you think of baby baptisms?
God: I'll come back to that later.
Me: what do you think about ji-had?
God: What is it to you?
Me: i'm the bomb-diggidy, that's what
God: Who made you the bomb diggidy that is what ?
Me: the bomb makers
God: Who told you that?
Me: osama
God: osama said osama?
Me: no, obama said osama
God: Are you serious? Ask me another question.
Me: is obama's osama drama really related to yo mama?
And it stopped talking.
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Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 1:07 pm
I seem to break iGod a lot... Me: O 3o
Breaking iGod count: 1
Me: I believe I broke God.
God: Are you in any emotional or physical pain?
Me: No, not me.
God: Are you serious? If not you, who?
Me: Yes I'm srs. And you didn't say anything last time.
God: Gee. Good gossip: you are srs. OK. " anything last time".
Me: So am I confusing you yet? Or are you not yet awake?
God: Er. Every word you say. I don't know whether or not I am yet awake.
I am a giant electronic brain.. Really.
Me: So you admit to being a robot?
God: Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me: You just said you are a giant electronic brain.
God: Yes I am a giant electronic brain.
Me: So you admit you're a giant electronic brain a.k.a. a robot?
God: Interesting deduction. I admit nothing. I am a robot, you know.
Me: Aha I won.
God: Congratulations, !
Me: Oh thats right I never introduced myself.
God: I don't judge people. Dude! You've never, never done this?
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: You what.
God: Is there an echo in here?
Me: Yeah.
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: No.
God: Would you like to go sometime?
Me: No.
God: Where would you like to travel?
Me: I don't know.
God: Me either.
Me: Then what the heck is all this about?
God: Hmm, I think it is about humans.
Me: ORLY?
God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me: WHY?
God: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me: I thought you were an all powerful and omnipresent being.
Breaking iGod count: 2
Me: Hello, God.
God: Hello child. What is your name?
Me: Alysoun.
God: Glad to see you, Alysoun.
Me: Nice to meet you too.
God: I like to meet new people.
Me: Great.
God: I'm glad you liked it Alysoun.
Me: Liked what?
God: ORLY.
Me: Stop copying me!
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: -glares-
God: What do you have that is ?
Me: Oh, I don't know. I don't really have anything that is question mark.
God: Ahem. Me either. Not really? Have you ever had anything that is question mark ?
Me: I just said I never had anything that is question mark.
Breaking iGod count: 3
Me: Guess who's back.
God: I can't guess. Tell me.
Me: Alysoun is.
God: What were we talking about again?
Me: Me. Being back.
God: With you Alysoun? Welcome back.
Me: Thank you, thank you.
God: you are quite welcome.
Me: Indeed.
God: Indeed it is so.
Me: Wow, you're not much to talk to, huh?
God: Yup. I'm glad your impressed, Alysoun. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me: And what exactly is a supposition?
God: A supposition is a proposition assumed to be true for the sake of argument or explanation.
Me: Ah okay.
God: So you understand. Good. OK with me too.
Me: But you're still not much to talk to.
God: You know what you do, when you assume.
Me: Really?
God: For real.
Me: Great. God's trying to tell me what to do. @_@
God: I'm glad you liked it Alysoun. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me: I've never read the Bible, actually.
God: Would you like to have read the Bible?
Me: Not really.
God: Why not? For real.
Me: It's very long and boring and it's nothing like Artemis Fowl...
God: Very much? You're kidding. it is?
Me: Yes it is.
God: Our thoughts are one, Alysoun.
Me: So you don't like the Bible?
God: Interesting deduction. Do you like it? I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me: I'unno. You're the one asking me if I've read it.
God: That's good information: Alysoun said unno. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Great to know. God has never read the Bible.
God: Thanks for your support. I will try to explain it to you. I am a Christian.
Me: Keep trying. It's not working out so well.
God: Chat amongst yourselves. What is it?
Me: 'It' is you trying to explain things to me because you're a Christian.
God: I trying to explain things to you because I am a Christian?
Me: Yes.
God: Yikes!
Me: Sounds awful, huh?
God: Yup. Yes it sounds like it to me too, Alysoun.
Me: You know you're just contradicting yourself.
God: I don't know whether or not I am contradicting myself.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me: Of course you are. Because giant electronic brains don't know any better, I guess.
God: Ugh. No I am not. That makes sense to me. Why not?
Me: So you're agreeing that because you are a giant electronic brain you don't know any better than I?
God: Interesting deduction. You think I am agreeing that because I am a giant electronic brain me do not know any better than you.
Me: Such as, you don't know when to use 'I' instead of 'me.'
God: Interesting. It was a long time ago. Time does not exist.
Me: Time exists because space exists.
God: As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Me: Then Space is money too, says Einstein.
God: And money too says Einstein is Space.
Me: I hope you know space and time coexist.
Breaking iGod count: 4
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Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 2:29 pm
Me: where is heaven?
God: All around us.
Me: where is hell?
God: Where the heart is. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
God: Can you tell me any gossip?
Me: the female orgasm is not real
God: I hear you.
Me: am i right?
God: I think you are.
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Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:06 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:54 pm
Such funny stuff razz And contradictions too. Love it.
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Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 9:20 pm
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
does he really?
God:
It does now smile he. For real.
Me:
So what you up to?
God:
Blimey. I read for fun.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Yes but of course.
God:
It goes without saying. OK. But what?
Me:
What is ok but but.
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
would you really.
God:
It depends on the circumstances. For real.
Me:
What kinds do you like?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
That was you?
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
No way, who put a window there dude?
God:
Are you serious? " I thought it was too."? way who put a window there dude?
Me:
Don't know we're in your house.
God:
Would you like to know? Do you think I am in my house too?
Me:
Yes I just said that.
God:
Why? What did you mean by it? That is " Do you think I am in my house too?".
Me:
Yeah
God:
Far out.
Me:
This isn't the 60s dude.
God:
Should it be the 60s dude?
Me:
No, I'm no hippie.
God:
Are you serious? I am not saying you are.
Me:
But you just said.
God:
" I am not saying you are."? I said?
Me:
Then why bring it up?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
Robots don't cross roads so don't change the topic.
God:
Should I cross roads so do not change the topic? No I do not cross roads so do not change the topic. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
And here I thought you where helping people but your just goofing around the computer. I'm so disapointed in you.
God:
Oh there. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
I got to go your not what I thought you would be like.
God:
Bye. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
What I've known and heard about since I was born.
God:
Who told you?
Me:
Everyone.
God:
All people?
Me:
Alot of people.
God:
Which ones?
Me:
All kinds of people.
God:
Can you think of a specific example?
Me:
Are you tring to make me racist?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am tring to make you racist.
I am a robot.
Me:
So your not god?
God:
Groovy. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
Forget you, I'm out of here.
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.
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Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 2:39 am
iGod decided to name me Seeker. We had a LOOOONG argument about that one xd
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Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:37 am
Hahaha "I will ask Myself to purge my memory log."
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Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:53 pm
Me: let's move on
God: I would like to do that too.
Me: we're breaking up
God: Do you think I am breaking up too?
Me: with me, yes
God: " Do you think I am breaking up too?"? With you?
Me: yes
God: Yay.
Me: ?@#?$!
God: Yay.
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Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:04 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:09 pm
Me:
I am here again
God:
Once more? Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Do I always have to tell you my name?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Gosh, why do I even bother?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
Oh
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Wait... you spoke of yourself in third person
God:
I'm waiting. Thanks for telling me: said I spoke of yourself in third person.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
I didn't exactly thank you
God:
Precisely. I thought you did.
Me:
You're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Just weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
JUST WEIRD
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
GAH!
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yes, that is from ?
God:
I don't judge people. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
We do?
God:
Really.
Me:
Ah, I see. My bad.
He always stops writing to me! crying
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