Chuck Norris Facts

[anonymous495]

the manhatten projects purpose was not to demonstrate nuclear firepower. it was to duplicate the power of one chuck norris roundhouse-kick. they didn't even come close...  

[Ermac the soulbender]

Chuck norris lost his virginity before his father did  

[Ermac the soulbender]

Chuck Norris ended mario bros without jumping once.  

[Ermac the soulbender]

Chuck norris created himself, then he did the earth  

[WorldChampion4ever]

Chuck Norris onced peed in a semi tank...... This semi is now known as Optimus Prime  

[sandrock_buck]

We didn't drop a bomb on Hiroshima... We dropped Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris promised never to go sky diving again... one Grand Cnayon is enough.  

[phish tahco]

When chuck Norris waz born the only one that cried was the doctor. Never slap chuck norris.  

[Doctor Vlad]

Chuck Norris suppliments his income by selling his beard shavings to local police departments to be made into bulletproof vests.  

[oOUntraceable]

Chuck Norris once had an argument with Albert Einstein about science
.....We now know him as Stephen Hawking s  

[The Unlucky XIII]

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.  

[kesuke uchiha]

chuck Norris's round house kick is an optical illusion. its not his right foot spinning to hit you in the head. its his left foot turning the earth so your head hits his foot.

the four horsemen of the Apocalypse live in chuck Norris's scrotum

Chuck Norris doesnt shave....he kicks himself in the face. because the only thing that can cut chuck norris is chuck norris

when chuck Norris dies he will ascend to heaven and God will turn him away for the millions he killed with just his round house kicks. descending into hell satan sees him and from his throne he says
"...Chuck Norris.....your power is so great and vast....the very human life is but dust in the wind before you......YOU will lead my armies during the rise of the Antichrist"
chuck Norris looks at satan and says
"....b***h ....your in my seat"