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 Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:17 pm
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March 30, 2009
Had work Sunday. Pretty calm and sleepy duty day. Today was boring. No work for today, but not allowed to go home until 2 in the afternoon. Why? No reason other than to spite us for us finishing our work early every single time.
So for a while now, I've had this realization. After a night of staring at a pipe, I have to vent.
I have no life.
None.
Here's what I mean. I'm sort of a mannequin standing in a store front window. I see everything that happens around me. But, in no way can I interact effectively.
My family. They're getting older. 2 of them have kids; my older brother is now married. My little brother had a kid too, but the mother is a stupid c***, and I feel she's too immature to have a kid (but she gave birth to her, so there's nothing my brother can do. He has already given up on ever seeing the kid. That pisses me off to no end.) Anyways, so much is going on, and still will.
And I'm going to miss it. I've already missed so much, and it fills me with an anger. An anger that just sits in me, making me short-tempered and bitter. I've already missed my brother's wedding, his son being born, my sister's kid being born, both kids growing up, my brothers getting older, and moving on in life. My parents are getting old. My dad's not in the best of health either, and that doesn't make me feel comfortable.
I missed my grandmother passing on. As she tried so, so hard to wait for me to come home. This filled me with regret, anger, sadness, guilt, so many things someone as young as me shouldn't have.
And the worst part? I can't build a meaningful relationship. Sure, I have plenty of friends. I have girl friends too. What I can't have, until I'm done, is a girlfriend. I know I sound conceited in this, but being able to spend time with that special someone seems important. I can hook up fine, but nothing serious. I can't build that sort of thing. It's impossible.
Why? My favorite job in the world. In less than 2 months, I'm going on surge to the middle east. 5 months gone. There's no way I can build something, and hope it will last while I'm gone. It wouldn't work. Most divorces happen right when we get back home from deployment. It's just too stressful. She'd get those urges. Hell, I'd get the urges too. There's no way for trust to be built between us. Sure we'd say things, but actions speak more.
And I'm 22. The chicks my age span party hard all the time. And they're still finding themselves. I've always been a level-headed "grown up" sort of person, so I'm somewhat hard-pressed to see why college kids do such stupid things that could mess up their chances in the long run.
The bottom line is this: my life doesn't begin again until after August of 2011. Until then, my life is a standstill, Where I can only watch my family and friends and hope I get to have that sort of enjoyment once I get out.
I have less than 3 years left in the navy. That's too long a time to wait in my eyes.
TWADDLE!
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Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:16 pm
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April 1, 2009
Today is April Fool's Day. I started it off watching Adult Swim, as they were showing some weird soft-core porno, complete with censor bars and everything.
It's weird. There hasn't really been any sort of prank or joke going around today. It's just another day for me and my coworkers. At least work's over for me now, as I'm lying on my couch at home, contemplating whether to drink, and subsequently not go anywhere the rest of the day.
Work these last few days has been stupid as always. I get there, finish all my work in the first hour, then wait till 2:00 p.m., because somebody hates us. The internet was actually decent for once, so I hopped on and posted a little bit. (that was 4-ish hours ago) Most of my division went to that thing they want to waste our time with, but I had to stay so it didn't look like everyone ditched. (I ranted about it in the ranting thread) Fortunately, one of my bosses pulled some strings, and I got to leave early! Hence why I'm home and on here now instead of a few hours from now.
With the free time of doing nothing, it has let me think about random stuff, and to reflect upon what I've done up to this point.
It was something I overhear by happenstance. It's a concept that can confuse a person. A lot of people in my division hate the damn place. However, ask them if they regret making the decision to join in the first place, and most say no. Me included. There is a reason for it. Even though we've been swindled, even though this job sucks to no end, the one thing it did do for us to give us opportunity. The opportunity to be able to do anything afterwards. My future options are vast, and my plan to further educate myself can only open more doors for me. It really is a win-win situation. All because I was tricked into the Navy. I'm still pretty sore on the tricked part.
I remember the day I left. The night before, I shaved all my hair off, cause they were gonna do that anyways, and I beat them to the punch. I say goodbye to my parents. My dad, who was in the army during Vietnam, takes it well, and wishes me luck. My mom, she cried a little bit as she hugs me tightly, not wanting to let go of me. Eventually, I leave, and go on my way to Chicago, where boot camp is. And the rest is history.
As I reflected earlier, I also realized another thing: I am very like my dad. Really strange. I already knew that to a degree, mainly due to the fact that we both like anime, samurai movies, random stuff, and the fact that we both have the same sense of humor. The difference, that I thought would always hold true, was that I'd always have to help him with some stuff. Boy, I was wrong. The last time I came home, the internet wouldn't work. I tried fixing it, but no dice. My dad, he started giving me all these recommendations. As it turns out, while he spends most of his days on the computer, he's learned a whole lot about them! Over-clocking, using BIOS, basic troubleshooting, he's doing stuff with computers that I don't even know yet! It's amazing. He's over 60 years old. He's only been messing with computers for about a year now. But, during that time, he's learned so much about technology that's a generation ahead of him. I truly admire him for that, and have added another thing to respect him for. It also shows me how I've come to be considered so smart. Boy, I owe them a lot.
Being trained in nuclear power (we're called nukes for short) is good, yet frustrating. We get top notch training. We're smarter than the conventional navy, and don't give in to the bulls*** that conventionals (people who aren't nukes, called coners) often fall for. We believe in getting a good deal, and being able to relax every chance we get. Now the frustrating part. For me, its dealing with coners that decide whether I can get parts or not. I get so angry trying to do my job, because I have to explain to them why I need the part, but can't go into detail because the stuff is confidential, therefore, can't be freely discussed. And when I do tell them, they still get upset and don't want to help me, mainly just so they don't have to do work themselves. Another frustrating thing is following the navy's stupid traditions that don't matter. Higher ups try to enforce their go-navy stuff, and we just ignore them, cause talking back gets us in trouble, whether we were in the right or not. The biggest frustration is if a boss doesn't like you, they purposely try to ruin your life. That's bulls***! I'm lucky that my bosses don't have a problem with me, but there are a couple people that got f***ed for no reason. And that really angers me.
Whew, all this writing sure has tired me out. But once I start, there's no stopping me till I'm done.
Now, to plan the weekend...
BUNKUM!
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 12:48 pm
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April 4, 2009
Yahooooooo! Hanging out in me undies sure feels good.
Work these last few days has been Hell. Thursday was a good reprieve, because I got to leave at 10:00 a.m., which is how is should be. Leaving at 2 in the afternoon, where the traffic is absolutely the worst in San Diego, because our bosses don't want us to be happy, is so frustrating. I've been lucky that I can handle the bulls*** better than others. Especially the guys that have been there for years. I've been there for almost 2 years now, and how it was back then has changed drastically to how it is now, and it's been for the worse.
I had duty yesterday. I also had the first watch. It sucked royally, mainly because I only got 2 hours of sleep the night before. I'm sure some of you are aware of my sleep habits here. Anyways, I was so tired everyone thought I was drunk, because of my sloth-like behavior and the fact I slurred more than usual and because I was falling asleep standing up. But after that I was able to get some sleep, hop on here for a quick bit, and not eat for the whole day. I got food, so I'm okay (I ate at 1 in the morning). I got home, and my fatigue for not sleeping much this whole week finally got to me. I passed out, and then woke up a couple hours ago. It was glorious.
So I went to Borders the other day (it's a bookstore). I haven't went in a month. I disappoint myself for not going as often as I'd like. What did I buy? Manga, of course! I bought vol. 13 of xXxholic, vol. 2 of Haruhi Suzumiya, and vol. 3,4,5, and 6 of Love*Com. Why Love*Com? It's a good story. I don't care what kind of story it could possibly be; if it is good and catches my interest, I'll read it. That's why after that, I'm getting High School Debut. Now my main goal was Negima vol. 21. Vol. 20 left me in a cliffhanger. Sure I've already read it online, but I HAVE to own it. I love my book collection, and is always looking to expand. However, I was saddened to see vol. 21 wasn't there. Hopefully, it will be at Barnes and Noble when I go there later. Besides, I have to buy more volumes of Love*Com. I also need to catch up on Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle. I left off at vol. 16, and have been too lazy to want to continue. But soon, when I've caught up on the rest of my series, I'll catch up on that one.
The most pressing matter at the moment is that I'm running low on olden-time words that old people use! scream I need to figure out what to do once I'm out of them. I'm sure something good will happen that'll solve my problem.
Hopefully.
LATHERSKITE!
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:31 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:15 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:35 pm
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April 5, 2009.
Awesome weekend. No complaints.
So I had a hand in this whole weekend event thing. The idea actually came from Dysfunctional Underwear, and I arbitrarily decided to help bring it to fruition. Finding pics, getting ideas, dressing up in sexy undies, thinking up the idea for the weekend contest. It has been great! I'm not sure when the pillow fight will end, but I think the thread will stay open afterwards, cause everyone loves a good pillow fight! Of course, there'll be another contest in the near future. I'm waiting before I spring that one on everybody! whee
I gotta thank Dys and DiDiW for the whole thing. You can't beat that kind of awesome fun! And for also saying I look better bald! That has actually helped me decide what I'm doing in the near future.
Last night was ridiculous! I got super sloppy drunk! xp I blacked out a little after 1 in the morning, then regained consciousness around 3 in the morning, where I noticed I was staring at my computer, so I turn it off and zombie-walk my way to my bed and sleep. The next morning, I wake up, go on for a bit, then go back to sleep, as I was still a bit hung over at the time. But I'm better now.
Saw Fast and Furious. The review is over on the I SEES IT thread. After the movie, I went to the bookstore! I looked around, and found vol. 21 of Negima!!! blaugh blaugh blaugh blaugh That made my day! I also bought vol. 7, 8, 9, and 10 of Love*Com. I believe that caught me up on that series, so now I'm waiting on the monthly releases. Boy, I sure do love my manga!
Today is Wrestlemania. I'm a big wrestling fan! 3nodding It started off slow, but picked up real good. The match with the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels was by far the best one! Of course, the Undertaker won, making his Wrestlemania streak at 17-0. This day's been a lot of awesomeness!
I've decided on what to do with running out of words that old people use. You'll see soon enough. Now to watch Triple H fight Randy Orton for the title.
HABERDASH!
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:21 am
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 12:00 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:33 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:41 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:58 pm
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April 6, 2009.
I was hit by a car this morning. It was NOT FUN! scream
The guy behind me decided that instead of using his brakes, he was gonna crash into me to stop. It worked, as he stopped dead. And sent me into angry mode for most of the day. Luckily, he had insurance, and his company will be paying for all of my damages, as well as the payment for the rental car I'll be using.
When I got hit, I thought, f***, my car's totaled, because it sounded like my whole back side caved in. Thankfully, when I stepped out to look, it was only my rear bumper that was messed up, and barely, at that. I won't know the full damage until tomorrow, when I see the repair shop, but it appears to be fine. Everything works fine in my car. The only thing is my car vibrates a little more cause of the loose rear bumper. I'm really hoping it only takes a day or two to fix my car; it's a real pain waiting for it.
Dys, I believe that it was your plan. In my mua ha ha thread, you mentioned something about everyone being in their underwear, or something like that. And that's how it got started. As for the contest, I'll count the tally, since you dislike numeros. I should have it by the end of the night, since I'm taking it easy. (I was hit by a car today.)
Work sucked. As always. Though for about 5 hours I serenaded my whole office, with songs such as I'm Turning Japanese by the Vapors, Trapped in the Drive through by Weird Al, and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. We all got our laughs in from that.
I got a slight headache from today, and might take it easy. Tomorrow promises to be very gay, with crappy simulator run and long day at work. AND I have to take my car in to the shop as well. Boy, what a day.
BABLATRICE!
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:05 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:38 pm
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April 7, 2009.
I was NOT hit by a car today. Hooray! blaugh
Work really sucked today. Went to the simulator. I was REALLY out of it. I was making all kinds of mistakes. Not good. At first, I thought I'd have an under-instruction to teach, which would've been awesome cause that would've meant I just sit there and look pretty. But, we were short one man, and he ended up standing watch with us instead. gonk Wasn't too happy with that part.
The really s***ty part was the last 15 minutes. The ran the UBER RUPTURE OF DEATH on me! scream It's where all Hell breaks loose, and it's all on me to fix EVERYTHING!!! scream And since I was out of it today, it felt way worse than it actually was. Somehow, in my super duper panic mode, I was able to take all of my actions without messing up (for the most part). I apparently did real good, so it's fine. I also got a LOT of laughs from it, because I couldn't reach a switch and had to stand up on my chair to move it. At first I was like scream but now I'm like xd It happens.
After work, I took my car in to be looked at. It "appeared" to be superficial, but there was a lot more damage hidden. The bumper was pushed in, the guard rail, the rail behind that, and some other stuff was pushed in good. Some brackets were bent out of shape. And some of that "superficial" damage was actually bad enough that a whole panel has to be replaced. Overall, the repairs went from a couple days to fix to about a week-ish. Which blows epically, because I go underway next Tuesday. (for the week; I then return the following Monday) Hopefully, my car'll be fixed before then.
I was taken to Enterprise, where I picked out my rental car. It's some Hyundai, but not sure what model. I don't really care; I just want my car fixed as soon as possible. I'm sooooo thankful that the other guy's insurance is covering this. That makes me happy, to a degree. I'd rather not get hit in the first place, but it's too late now! scream
I'm home now, just chillin. Haven't decided on dinner yet. I'm thinking frozen red chili burritos. Yummy! 3nodding
I've discovered a temporary fix on the "words old people use" issue. Hopefully, I find something more permanent.
Until next time!
BAFFLEGAB!
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