|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 12:35 pm
HERO
My Hero is not who you may think
But he saved me
My hero has no special powers
But he Loves me
My Hero wears a uniform
And he has won
He shall Never lose me
For he is an will forever be
My Hero
I own a business Angels Attic a Piece of hope and Poems are an add on so I wrote this on request. here is the website for my business, www.angelsatticapieceofhope.net Any feedback is welcome Please keep in mind this is a first draft
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 4:50 pm
Hi there. :] I know this was posted a while ago, but I feel bad that there are no replies. So, here are a few things I was thinking after reading this!
I like the contrasts in the first four lines. It might be even more powerful if you brought this back right at the end.
Is this written specifically for a person/situation? [I guess I don't understand entirely the add-on part of it.] If it is, I think it would be touching for the poem to be more personal. Maybe the title could be a name, or initial(s) instead of "Hero," or there could be a tad more detail about the uniform in that line. Even if it's not written for something/someone specific, these sorts of details really make poetry fun and lively.
Otherwise, I think it is a nicely succinct poem.
-Chi
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
