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 Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:20 pm
Selma Journal/ Letter to Tali
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Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:21 pm
Selma's Discovery Selma had been in the Earth Elemental community for a couple of months now. Every day she spent some time with her teacher and learned more about what she could do, and honed her previously learned skills. This filled only a relatively small portion of the day however. Her teacher never seemed to ask a great deal of her, so her days were rarely challenging. Instead she found them filled with pangs of loneliness and longing for Tali and more recetly, a rather serious dilema.
In the past several weeks, Selma found herself often feeling week or ill. Some days she even had to stay in her room all day and miss her lessons because she was feeling very nauceous and would occasionally be sick. It was also not uncommon for her to experience mood swings and become irritated, which was rather unlike her. Her instructor had prescribed an herbal tea to help offset the nausea, and it had helped some, though it never got rid of it entirely. The other thing that had been occuring alongside this, was the fact that Selma had not had her cycle, in about 3 months, though she as of yet unaware of the significance of this, her matron not having been nearly as informative in this regard as Tali's had.
To pass the time on the days that she was feeling ill, Selma slept and read books that she had borrowed from the community's library. Several of the ones she had picked up were on healing, as that was an area that she wanted to find more about, because it sounded like an interesting possibility of what she could do with her skills when no longer a student. One of the books was on anatomy, another on common illnesses and cures, and a third was on the human lifecycle and reproduction. It sounded similar to the book Tali's matron had given him, which sounded interesting, so she decided to look into it.
Yet another day, Selma was ill, and told her instructor that she would be unable to participate in lessons. She was really getting tired of this and decided that if she was going to have any more episodes like this, that she would go see the community healers. For a while she just lay in bed, trying to ease her wild stomach, so that maybe she would be able to eat something later. Once it was a bit calmer, Selma reached for the third book she had picked up, having gotten through the infant, toddler and child stages of development. Thusfar, she had found the information rather interesting, knowing that even if she did not become a healer, this information might also prove to be useful in teaching.
She opened the book to where she had marked the page, at the beginning of the adolecent and adult development stages. As she read, Seima blushed once in a while, remembering the various changes she had gone through, as the book was describing, including starting her cycle. As it continued, it started to describe the more adult acts that came as part of growing up, including the one she and Tali had done with each other. Sighing, Selma thought about that encounter and wondered whether that would ever happen again for the two of them. The book talked as if it were a commonplace things between adults.
Trying not to make herself miss Tali even more, Selma tried to push the thoughts from her mind and moved on, flipping the page, which started the next chapter of the book - on pregnancy. Selma knew what preganacy was, but she had never really been told how or why it came about, so as she read, she found herself starting to feel a different sort of sickness in her stomach. One of minor dread, fear and shock. The book went into informative detail on the symptoms and side effects of pregnancy, of which Selma had previously been unaware, which now seemed to match perfectly the symptoms of the illness she had been suffering from, and explained why she had been missing her cycle.
Done reading the chapter, Selma put the book down and lay back against her pillows, her hand resting gently on her stomach. Did she really have a baby growing inside of her, that was hers, but also Tali's? Pressing gently on the lower part of her abdomen, she noticed that it felt slightly different. Pushing the blankets aside and pulling up her robes to where she could look at her stomach, Selma studied the area, and thought she could see a very slight buldge, that she probably wouldn't have noticed, if she weren't looking for it, though at this point, she could not be certain if she was imagining it. She counted off the weeks on her fingers. If she understood the book correctly, the baby would be here in about 29 weeks. That seemed so far away...and yet so close. Was she ready to have a baby?
Her mind was drawn back to one of the conversations she had had with Tali in the Earth garden, before their elements had been determined. About whether she would be able to give up a child. Well now that dilemma lay before her. It was law, that all babies were to be sent to the center of Nanedin, where she had grown up, shirtly after they were born. Or at least that is what she had been taught. Certainly there were no babies or children in the community here. She also thought of Tali. What would he have to say about all of this? Should she even tell him, if he was never going to get to known his child anyway?
Knowing the fate of her child would be sealed, if she revealed her pregnancy within the community, Selma decided to keep quiet about it, at least for the time being. For another two months or so, she figured she could easily hide the bulge under her robes. But after that, would it be possible? Maybe, just maybe if she was able to keep her condition concealed, she would be able to, somehow, find a way to stay with her child. Uncertain of the future that lay ahead of her, Selma mulled over the possibilties, until she fell asleep.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 11:48 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:00 pm
Selma Journal Entry/ Letter from Tali
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 11:13 pm
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